White women posting on Black Mumsnetters - all good?

[Sugarintheplum]

Hiya,

I'm just looking for your honest opinion here - feel free to get a new handle to respond to this one if you like (I do that sometimes!)

My view is this: I don't hugely object, partly because it's the internet, and I can't expect that to be truly for a devoted protected space, so it's kinda 'meh'. I just thought about it because of the 'are blonde women more attractive' thread, and there are lots of white women on it.

I've asked something similar before, and I ask it again here, if it's called Black Mumsnetters, why might non-black women want to post? I can see why they might want to lurk and read, but what might make you want to be visible, present and contributing to that space?

If it is a belief that no space should be 'exclusive', i'd think Black Mumsnetters might turn one off completely - ugh, yuk, segregation. If it is a belief that well, one or two white women won't change things (do they? My opinion is that yes, a space with just black women in it talking black women things is materially changed by having white women in it) I can see that too maybe, only things do have a way of being taken over and before you know it black mumsnetters has very few black women at all posting. If it is 'I should be able to be wherever I choose, thank you!', or 'i just love being in chats with diverse groups, I 'm not thinking about it that way' I'd like to know too.

But mostly, black women, how do you feel about it?

Like I say, I'm cool about it, I just don't get it. If there were a Trans Mumsnetters, or Asian Mumsnetters, or LGBT Mumsnetters, or Young Mumsnetters, I wouldn't feel any sort of compulsion to post, I'm black straight and over 30. My children's partner is from a different ethnic group to me and if there were a group for mumsnetters from that community, again, I wouldn't feel any sort of need to post.

Anyway, on this I am truly musing.

Ta!

People see threads in Active, and comment without really clicking which topic it's in.

There is an LGBT parents topic btw

@RoseAndRose

People see threads in Active, and comment without really clicking which topic it's in.

There is an LGBT parents topic btw

This. I've commented on Scotsnet threads by doing this (i live in England!)

I never look at what topic a thread is in if I click on it from 'Active'. I didn't even know there was a 'Black' topic. Do other ethnicities have their own topics? (I'm neither black nor white FWIW)

Not too phased by it, it’s nice that they can read our views and perhaps bring another perspective.

I’m not from a lgbt background so I doubt I’d post in related lgbt MN communities that much however if I saw a topic that seemed interesting on the ‘active’ topics list, I may click and contribute. I can only presume something similar applies for white MNers who choose to post here

yes, maybe it is just that the topic is active, however I have seen some white women say 'i'm not sure i can post here but...'

@msrobot

Would you do that because you thought it was interesting so why not? Would you have any further thoughts on it?

I would not post even if I thought it might be an interesting topic because I'd consider at least one of these things: 'great, they have a space, I'm interested, but I want them to be able to talk among themselves without me, without me making my gaze known', and because I might think 'is my contribution what they are looking for? Is it needed? If it were, why would they choose to post it here, rather than elsewhere on mumsnet'.

But maybe I'm too sensitive to others?

I remember being at uni and i'd say probably most of my friends were lesbian, and they'd go to LGBT clubs and bars and I wouldn't go because those places were created as safe spaces, and many actually turned people away who clearly are not LGBT, it's curious how they knew, but I heard a lot of stories!!! So maybe I've just taken this sensitivity on with me and I'm strange.

But a topic is about blodes, ofcourse your going to get white poeple replying otherwise your going to get a very narrow debate.

I wouldn't knowingly comment on a thread in this topic, no. (Apart from now lol)

I also went as an act of rebellion due to the way it came about.

I posted on a thread asking for recommendations for a children's book containing certain elements as a suggestion popped into my head. The thread came up in the "active" section as this tends to be where I browse by default.

Would you consider this to be an encroachment on a space not meant for me? If so I would certainly bear in mind for the future and not post in similar circumstances.

Just skimmed the LGBT section. Very interesting, have some thoughts on the topics, not feeling the need to post at all. 'Hi, I'm straight, but this is what I think' - like, how on earth would I know what it's like to be LGBT? Thats how I felt!

By the way this came up in active discussion I did not go into the Black Mumsnetters to reply to this.

I see your point, but as it’s online I think it feels less of an invasion of space if that makes sense?

I don’t think I’d feel right turning up to a LGBT bar alone (unless a gay friend had asked me to come along with them)

@MrsMiaWallis

I wouldn't knowingly comment on a thread in this topic, no. (Apart from now lol)

Same. I've nearly commented a couple of times when a post has been on active but noticed just in time which board its on.

This came up in active.

I’ve read this post and the sentiment is kind of clear, I think?

@june2007

But a topic is about blodes, ofcourse your going to get white poeple replying otherwise your going to get a very narrow debate.

I don't agree. I honestly think black women can have a full enough conversation without white women. It wasn't about white women, it was about whether one thinks blonde is more attractive.

@Schummakker maybe it's clear, but i have to say i'm often slow off the mark, so not to me ;p

I’m guessing you’re not referring to this post as this post appears to be an invitation for non black women to respond, I think?
I might read some posts, especially the cooking ones, but I don’t post if I catch the board it’s on. The prelude to the board was quite clear in not wanting non black women to comment on it I thought.

Very diplomatically worded, but clear

But how can you have a discussion saying are blondes more attractive when you exclude those who are naturally blonde. It,s going to be a bit one sided. (Actually it included blondes and non blondes and as a result was quite fair.)

Otherwise it,s like were talking about you not to you.

I honestly think black women can have a full enough conversation without white women

Does this apply to this thread? Were you only wanting black women to reply to this one? It’s hard to tell!

I’ve replied to a couple of posts in Black mumsnetters - one asking about suggestions for a black baby doll and the other asking for any cartoons with black characters. I replied because I knew some answers that nobody else had said and I thought they might be helpful.

“I honestly think black women can have a full enough conversation without white women“

I don’t think anyone answering was trying to say that black women can’t?

If there are separate boards(I dont come on here a lot) then fair enough if you try to use the right sections to post on thats great BUT I thought everything now was to be inclusive and join together no matter what religion, political view, sexuality? So even if you arent of the same group surely everyone can participate and freedom of speech etc?

@Iloveyoucaterpillar As in - can anyone make recommendations on books with black characters? That would be welcome.

I guess I'm just asking the question because black mumsnetters has been set up for a reason, otherwise all of these topics would just be in the broader Mumsnet. So what's the point or how is it different if white women are posting?