White women posting on Black Mumsnetters - all good?

[Sugarintheplum]

Hiya,

I'm just looking for your honest opinion here - feel free to get a new handle to respond to this one if you like (I do that sometimes!)

My view is this: I don't hugely object, partly because it's the internet, and I can't expect that to be truly for a devoted protected space, so it's kinda 'meh'. I just thought about it because of the 'are blonde women more attractive' thread, and there are lots of white women on it.

I've asked something similar before, and I ask it again here, if it's called Black Mumsnetters, why might non-black women want to post? I can see why they might want to lurk and read, but what might make you want to be visible, present and contributing to that space?

If it is a belief that no space should be 'exclusive', i'd think Black Mumsnetters might turn one off completely - ugh, yuk, segregation. If it is a belief that well, one or two white women won't change things (do they? My opinion is that yes, a space with just black women in it talking black women things is materially changed by having white women in it) I can see that too maybe, only things do have a way of being taken over and before you know it black mumsnetters has very few black women at all posting. If it is 'I should be able to be wherever I choose, thank you!', or 'i just love being in chats with diverse groups, I 'm not thinking about it that way' I'd like to know too.

But mostly, black women, how do you feel about it?

Like I say, I'm cool about it, I just don't get it. If there were a Trans Mumsnetters, or Asian Mumsnetters, or LGBT Mumsnetters, or Young Mumsnetters, I wouldn't feel any sort of compulsion to post, I'm black straight and over 30. My children's partner is from a different ethnic group to me and if there were a group for mumsnetters from that community, again, I wouldn't feel any sort of need to post.

Anyway, on this I am truly musing.

Ta!

@JacobReesMogadishu I’m not sure why you wouldn’t tell the cyclist that’s there’s a special interest sub-topic?

Ive not seen any self-proclaimed black poster anywhere state that non-black people can post in this sub topic, but do point me to such a post and I’ll report it.

In any case, thanks for the highlight I’ve posted the link.

I'm still not entirely clear if it's actually what you want as this post is very confusing - you're inviting us to post in a space that you don't want us to post in....

This - I'm with @NiceGerbil on this one - seems like a stirry thread and a bit "off" - almost like it's trying to stir everything up again.

As for the blonde thread - But how can you have a discussion saying are blondes more attractive when you exclude those who are naturally blonde. It,s going to be a bit one sided
Where exactly does my opinion and experiences as a blonde person fit into the discussion?!
It may be about me, but it's not, if that makes any sense?!
I don't need to chip in with growing up blonde experiences, or "but I like my hair, I haven't seen any benefits from being it!" etc or whatever.

There's a lot of discrimination towards heterosexual white women lately
Err...... really not lol. (I say as heterosexual white woman myself)

I think it was clear from the start that the premise of the BMN board was that only black posters could post there

That is absolute rubbish though - if you read the threads that were trying to get one set up, it was clear that people who weren't black were free to post, just not barge in with denying experiences of black people type posts etc.

This - I'm with @NiceGerbil on this one - seems like a stirry thread and a bit "off" - almost like it's trying to stir everything up again.
hmm

Indeed. Quite a bit of wide-eyed I’m not welcome here with no evidence to back that up, or I have knowledge on x but didn’t give it as it’s a black section.

Especially when I’ve seen white posters (who are welcome) post in context on the boards.

And hey @Quaagars haven’t seen you for a while!

Especially when I’ve seen white posters (who are welcome) post in context on the boards

Exactly - context, that's the word I was looking for lol

Hello

Hoping all will respond, black and non-black.

As you've specifically said that you want responses from everyone, I will post here to share my thoughts, but usually, I would not post on this board, or at least not intentionally. It's entirely possible that I might not always notice if something popped up on active threads and caught my attention - I usually check, but not always.

I wouldn't generally post on this board as a white woman, because it is my understanding that it was created as a space in which black MNers could discuss topics of interest or importance to them with other black MNers. There are plenty of other boards where everyone can post, so I would assume that an OP posting on this board had chosen to do so because they're were primarily seeking the views of other black people. Consequently, my input is not required.

I think some people struggle with this concept because they are still influenced by the idea that we should not "see" race at all, and therefore everything should be open to everyone. I don't agree, I totally understand why black MNers might want a space to discuss particular topics amongst themselves, and with the caveat that I might inadvertently post on this board by mistake, I would generally try to respect that.

I wouldn’t go there intentionally, but if a thread about blonde hair came up in Active I may well click on it without noticing what board it was on. Since I’m blond.

The best solution would be Tomas MNHQ to remove that board from Active.

Tomas is an autocorrect for to ask

I posted a while back asking for help with my step daughters hair, but nobody answered. If I'd have known that there was a black women board then I might have been inclined to post there for a more helpful response from a whole board full of people with experience. Would that be unacceptable too, because I am white? Or would I be allowed to join a conversation in that case?

@FrazzledFTM I think there have been such posts previously. But feel free to post your own.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/black_mumsnetters/4086081-help-with-my-daughter-s-hair

And - assuming you originally posted on one of the main boards or hair sub-topics to no answer, you’ve just illustrated why black folk felt they needed a black sun-topic.

I hope you get what you need!

@FrazzledFTM

I posted a while back asking for help with my step daughters hair, but nobody answered. If I'd have known that there was a black women board then I might have been inclined to post there for a more helpful response from a whole board full of people with experience. Would that be unacceptable too, because I am white? Or would I be allowed to join a conversation in that case?

Good point. Let's wait for the OP to come back on this

Is it only white women that are not welcome? What about Asian or mixed race women that have very light skin?

This is an open forum. You can post where you like. Unless MNHQ specifically create a locked part of the website for sub groups, it's all open. As long as you don't barge in and try and minimise an experience, or be racist, why not, but I would say not routinely, it's about context and relevancy of the discussion as others have said. Some of the posts as others said come up in active like this one and catch the eye, which is what they are meant to do.

[quote Phoenix21]@FrazzledFTM I think there have been such posts previously. But feel free to post your own.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/black_mumsnetters/4086081-help-with-my-daughter-s-hair[/quote]
This thread was actually helpful, thank you. And I agree why people felt they needed their own board, never disputed that, I just wanted to give an example of why a white person might want to approach the black Mumsnet thread that's not to give unwarranted opinions.

@FrazzledFTM oh I agree, my point is that context is everything.

Black people are not homogenous, there are questions I might ask myself - I've been invited to a traditional Ghanaian wedding, what should I expect.

Pre BM board a lady mentioned she posted about her Afro hair and was told to go google...

@cactusisblooming

Is it only white women that are not welcome? What about Asian or mixed race women that have very light skin?

Why do you think non-black people are not welcome? Where have you seen that posted and I’ll report it.

As I've said before, i wouldn't post as I kind of assumed having a seperate board meant that their were unspoken rules.

However, it's a bit naive to think that everyone is who they say they are on an anonymous forum.

I don't think I've replied to a post on this forum but usually I post on Active topics and don't pay attention to the forum that it was originally posted in.
Non-black women may have a valid reply to a question like whether a place is multicultural enough for a family to feel like they belong.

Why are some people quick to report on threads? We are not asking to be policed....geez.. We're simply having a discussion

Well, as I identify as bla... just kidding.

I'm the same as a few others, I generally just read the active posts and sometimes contribute. I might be mindful because I'm white , so Black Mumsnet isn't aimed at me. I would read though, if a topic sparked my interest.

This popped up near the top of Active Discussions, so here I am now posting on it.
I had no idea until just now that there existed a topic specifically for black women. I haven't knowingly posted in that topic previously but, like others have said, I might have done so without noticing.

The truth is that I clicked on this post without noticing what topic it was in!

I think you have to accept that Mumsnet is a free-for-all and anyone can post on any topic. The feminist topic is often "invaded" by non-feminists, male chauvinists etc for example. Mumsnet itself states that it's "for parents" but there are plenty of non-parents here (and why not, as so many topics these days are nothing to do with babies or children).

@TellItToTheStars

Why are some people quick to report on threads? We are not asking to be policed....geez.. We're simply having a discussion

If that’s directed at me my answer is that if anyone is telling people that they cannot post (in context) because they are not black, then I’ll report as that’s not the intention of the board.

A few people have said that they feel they cannot post because they are not black but no one has actually directed to a post that states that.

Tbh this was done to death when the board was first proposed.