July 2010: We’re ready to drop; Not long to go until we pop!

[DesperateHousewife21]

Possibly our last ante-natal thread ladies!

Morning all

happy birthday Viksam! hope you have a lovely day!

Seen the mw again this morning - blood pressure a bit low but she says baby actually can't go any lower without dropping out now so have been told to rest up and eat and drink plenty this week. That's easily done as dd isn't sleeping very well so we're having disturbed nights - I feel like I could sleep all afternoon at the moment! Hoping my mum might have dd for a couple of hours this afternoon, but I do feel like I'm taking the piss a bit and don't want to over use her now.

Right, need to think up something for us to eat for lunch (not crisps and chocolate but that's all I can think of right now!)and hope dd is suitably tired to just want to bobble around the garden this afternoon

im so mad at dp.he came home on hid break there and announced that he's getting his operation on his knee on 23rd july! its ann overnight stay up in dublin and he's gonna be out of acton for about a week after it.its something that can be put off as its not something that needs to be done asap.i asked him when he was going on about the op was it an overnight thing and he said no and then i seen it on the letter today that it was and when i said that its too soon after the baby he gets this attitude and starts speakin to me like shit.im fed up of him and im shakin inside with anger and cant stop crying . i might sound a bit precious but i know if im by myself that soon im going to get into a panic over something in the middle of the night because if i go overdue the baby will only be a week old at that stage and i've never done this before. and then he says he'l get his mother to come down and stay.i barely know the woman. so fed up of being spoke to like this and im so close to just going to my mums and staying there
sorry for that rant just had to get it out of my system and i hate that he speaks to me like that when people can hear (our housemate could hear him) and it makes me feel like people think im a soft touch letting him away with it but i dont i just wouldn't put him in a position where he might feel the way i do if i spoke to him like that in front of people.
ther i go again! right rant over now i promise.d

How reasonable is it to have a live in nanny?

Basically, DH got a letter from the school we are moving to outlining extra duties for next year. We have known this was coming since our house fell through, because it's kind of an exchange for not paying any rent or bills.

Thing is, they are asking for quite a lot, including DofE and rugby tours, which will mean DH is out most evenings and away on expeditions/tours several times a term.

It took me so long to settle in here as I won't allow anyone I don't know to babysit (eg no random 6th form that haven't known for at least a year!) so I end up missing out on all the staff socials as being new to an area doesn't give me any babysitters.

I thought about asking my cousin to move in with us. We have plenty of space, she could live rent and bill free, get a job and save up some money for a year, in exchange for free babysitting a couple of times a week and some company when DH is away.

Do you think this is a reasonable deal? Would we have to pay her as well (can't really afford to) or do you reckon the fact that she has a job and no living costs would be enough?

Kk that's terrible! If my DH were going away and going to be out of action for a week I'd go stay at my mums! No way I'd have MiL come and look after me.

DH isn't a fan of me going to stay back at 'rents (has happened a few times) but when I point out that he is not around and I need help (not his fault by the way - usually work) he has to accept that I'm not going to sit helpless at home awaiting his return.

If you DP doesn't want you to go to your mums he can reschedule. Otherwise I'd go. If baby goes two weeks overdue you'll be having it withou him anyway!!

Happy birthday

38 weeks tomorrow and 1 week to go to my c-section!!! Had a dentist check up today and coud hardly breathe in the waiting room. I was so hot. People said I don't look like I will last a week.
Seriously freaking out about everything being ready and clean. I got the car washed today and have to put the pram in the back as I intend to keep it in there...
Everything seems to be ready. Hospital bag is ready, I just need to put my coming back clothes and pillow... Weather is supposed to get hotter this week

Just saw your post KK that's very unreasonable of you DH. I'd write him a letter or email explaining how it makes you feel and that you need him at that time. If he still intends to have his op I'd go to your mums.... Sorry honey

thanks *gracie8 hes just texted to say he's changed it til august 10th. stil very early but the fight has just gone out of me at this stage. he really doesnt see things the way i see them. not a lot i can do now but if he speaks to me like that again im gone. im supposed to be the hormonal one here!
re the cousin moving in i think free rent and bills sounds good cos that in itself would add up to alot. just have a chat with her and see cos it could get lonely!
jojo im so jealous that you've only a week left! lovely to know when its coming too!
vik im not sure what the pains were.could have been anything really.was hoping it was early labour but sure that can go on for weeks anyway!

kk that's horrendous...you're not overreacting at all. Stupid man needs to get the appointment changed grrr. Plus I can't think of anything worse than having the mil "help". Make it clear that you'll be staying at your mum's if he's not going to be there! Oh and ditto Gracie, if the baby is overdue then he'll miss it. Might even be worth getting your mw to talk some sense into him.

gracie doesn't sound a bad deal to me at all! I'd pitch it to her and see what she says. Obviously you'll need a written contract so there's no bad feeling when you ask her to babysit etc, but sounds like a great idea to me.

jojo I think I need to put my hossie bag in the car now. Tank is down to 130 miles which I know is loads but I want to keep it topped up!!

dh is getting twitchy about me sitting on the sofa now. We're selling it and he really doesn't want my waters to go on it! Will have to shift to the leather chair and cover it in pampers bed mats same goes for the car I think, had better be prepared.

kk well at least he's changed it a little! He might feel differently once baby actually arrives...

Re early labour, I was in latent stages for 12 days with dd. It's best to just rest alot and conserve your energy. Luckily for me my second stage was incredibly quick so hopefully it will go the same for you too!

hey girls,
it's been a while again! - not stopped much and loving every bit of being off work but i am paying for it! really need to slow down and rest now. I've not noticed any dirty looks regarding my bump- maybe just me being oblivious as I love my bump just now- feel proud of it!

Was up last night with some bad pains accross bump and back (?contractions) coming in waves but no real pattern. All gone after a serious trip to the loo- not plesant!!! do contractions make this happen or did i just have an upset tummy?

Got some great news today- my brother called from australia to say he and his girlfriend are getting married!!! they were planning to come home for a few weeks in april so want to organise it for then! i'm so happy for them and can't wait to see them will also be a huge incentive to lose the baby weight as likely to be a big fancy do!

gracie got no idea hun! sorry, sounds like a great idea but don't know about money

viksam happy birthday- hope your having a lovely day

stac did you get your insulin levels sorted yet? are you having to inject yourself? hope its all sorted out

oh jojo what an exciting time! so close- i agree tho that the weather is making it harder!

What is everyone packing for coming home clothes? wondering if i should pack normal or maternity clothes?

KK Poor you, you need to have a serious word with him! Sounds like he is trying to meet you halfway with postponing the date so you can acknowledge that but discuss the way he talks to you. He needs to behave in a respectful way, you are carrying his baby and deserve to be treated well and it may be good for him to know that you feel so strongly about it that you have thoughts about whether the relationship would continue if this does not change. Then you have to behave respectfully towards him and model the communication style that you want. Maybe I am overstating it but I do think these things need to be worked on in relationships to keep them strong and healthy.

Viks Had some deliveries and waiting for some garden gates to be fitted to make the garden baby/dog proof and more secure but no sign of the workmen yet . Hate waiting around all day! And feel like I have to keep an ear out for the door all the time so cant get on with anything else.

Gracie Sounds like a great idea! I do not think that you should pay her as sounds like she will be getting a great deal. If anything, be specific about the childcare hours so that she knows what your expectations are up front. Then if you go over this you could offer her some payment as well on an ad hoc basis. Try and work out what renting a room would cost near you so that you have some benchmark eg £400 pm and she would do 10 hours childcare a week = 40 hours per month at £10 an hour. That looks pretty generous actually!! More Childcare I reckon!

Wow grumpypumkin just reading your replies- you have a logical mind! gracie that sounds like great advice!

kk sorry to hear your DP, glad he has rearranged a bit, you might be more confident with LO by then. its usually the other way round in our relationship- DH hates how i speak to him infront of other people sometimes- i'm usually unaware of it so we now have a "look" he gives me and i stop- never intend to do it so it helps my self awareness to be told! maybe your DP is unaware? talk to him

When you put it like that it does sound generous! Tbh I'm not looking for much childcare (I'm a very hands on mummy and I don't want to hand my kids over to anyone else!) just someone to be in when they are in bed so that I can have the flexibility to go to the gym for an hour or so now and then, or so DH and I can attend a staff function together a couple of times a term.

Mostly it's because I am a very anxious person and end up staying at my mums every time DH has to go away for a week (looks like it will be more regular!) as I don't like being in the house alone at night

I know, I am a complete wuss! But especially in a new town, where I don't know anyone to call if there was a problem.

Kk- I'm glad he has compromised, but you should talk to him about the way he speaks to you. Make it clear that you will not tolerate him speaking to you like that in front of DCs, and that you both need to learn how to communicate more civilly now, to ensure that your LO doesn't grow up feeling insecure about your relationship. Hopefully if you put it like that he will be willing to work on it.

happy birthday viksam
Heading off to pick up dd in a mo - I'm so shattered today - went back to bed for a couple of hours this morning. Have managed to peg out washing and do yesterdays washing up and that is it - had all these grand plans for getting the house sorted this week. I am soo glad I brought forward my maternity leave.

Sounds silly but it really dawned on me that I am actually having a baby today - haven't really taken time to focus on it to much before - is such a yummy thought. Really thought I was having contractions earlier, went into the village (5 min walk) and kept getting tightenings followed by baby kicking me really hard - at one point was doubled up with pain - got some worried looks from passers by - going back to bed seems to have sorted me out.

Hi all
Haven't been on here for ages. Hope everyone is ok and getting excited about meeting lo's.

Becky - yes labour can do all that! Thinking of you and hope you get to meet your lo soon. Maternity clothes definitely for coming home (unless you has something nice which is a size or so bigger than you normally wear). I only know one person who managed to leave hospital in her normal clothes, and she is just freakishly thin anyway.

Happy birthday Vik

KK were the pains like electric shocks? if so its probably the head engaging. Or BH can get quite uncomfortable now. Sorry DP's being unreasonable, but glad he has moved his appointment now. If my DH was going to be away that soon after LO born, I would go to my mum's if not so far (5 hr drive), or ask her to come to me.

Gracie - I think that sounds like a reasonable arrangement

Gosh im gone for a few hours and had to spend ages catching up again!!
KK what I cant understand is that he thought it would be ok in the first place to book it for then.........why put u in the position of having to pull a face and why put you under that sort of stress?? I really dont mean to add fuel to ur anger and Im sure u have got over it now as he has changed it anyhow but why do they do these sort of things? I really think men are inherently selfish and simply cant help but to think about them selves first, its a genetic thing, thats why they dont have the babies, can u imagine if they did, not sure the we would not be over populated more like the opposite i recon!!

Graciei recon ur cousin would jump at the chance, its so hard to save any money so a helping hand would be amazing. Do you trust her? Does she have nice friends? have u met her partner if she has one? Its all to be considered i think.

wonder I know exactly what u mean about things just dawning on u. This is my first week off and i had grand plans but i can see me just chillin to be honest and getting over the rush that has been the last few months!Didnt any of the passers by ask u if u were ok, im sure i would have done. How u feeling now?

wicked so what did the latent stage feel like, i had no idea you could be like that for 12 days!

grumpy workmen never come when they say they will and they always make a mess......thats my experience over the last few months anyhow!

My carpet and sofa look ace, just letting it dry off now. Im sooo tired but feel guilty if i sleep in the day. Might just close my eyes though!!

happy birthday viksam
gracie sounds like a good arrangment i would just make sure that she knows you social engagments need to be met so that she doesnt move in and get a good social life then when you need a sitter she cant do it as shes busy!
stac saw an old school friend today her sis gave birth yesterday after being induced at 37 weeks due to gestational diabetes, at her hospital they wont let you go over 38 if you have diabetes, thought it was interesting how hospitals are so diferent in other areas!
well last night i was in so much pain i was in floods of tears and had a huge amount of bearing down pain to the point i couldnt even sit on sofa or bear weight on legs! i had to lean over my ball, it eased off and i slept went to mums this morning and it all started again, eased off and i walked to town with her ended up doubled over swings in park! went to reflexology and she says all my reflexes have totally changed since friday! not in pain at the minute, but mum thinks im starting all be it slowly, dh also thinks it is he can feel it in his gut apparently!! i dont think it is personally but i can handle this sort of pain for another 2 and a half weeks!! sorry for self indulgence have no one to talk to about it as if i call anyone they will think its call to get me to hospital!

definately sounds like something could be starting memphis! just take it easy and relax and get a bit of shut eye if possible just in case as you'll need all the energy you can get.
thanks for all the advise and understanding ladies. feel a bit calmer now that i've had time to get over it.i've said absolutely everything to him and stressed how much i mean it that he cant talk to me like that. grumpy i do speak to him the way id like to be spoken to i just think they can get too comfortable in their ways and think they dont have to work on these things anymore. and vik that was exactly my thoughts why did he book it that close in the first place. he really just doesnt think logically about these things and im sure he wouldnt like to be left to his own devises with a newborn baby that soon. i think aswell with the way he can speak to me sometimes he has his worries about things too and maybe doesnt express things the way i do and maybe everything is penting up inside. stil not a good enough excuse though as he should just talk about things.
vik dont feel guilty about getting sleep! we'l be wishing we had slept in a few weeks!
lol about your dh wwsw. be very funny if they did go on the sofa though!
i've spent the day painting so nackered again now! have dp's brother down painting all the decking outside for me too. love seeing things get done!

I know (knew) my cousin very well until about three years ago when I moved halfway across the country and she went to France!

I'm not worried about her friends as she is a fairly sensible farm type girl. TBH I thought of her because she has broken up with her boyf of nearly a year, moved back to England with her parents and doesn't really know what to do. She has some work on the farm with her parents until September, but there's not really much for her to do after that, which is ideal, because that's when DH goes back to work

with it being a new area, I'm hoping we'll make friends together, (not much age gap) so we'll be able to socialise at the house too.

Tbh, I don't mind her bringing friends from work etc home as long as they don't keep the kids awake! Might be a nice way to help me make some contacts in a broader social circle than just the school!!

Happy birthday viksam!

Only four more days at work, yay...

My DH is taking an exam in earlyish August, when if the baby comes on time it will be about 2-3 weeks old. He's planning to take slightly extended paternity leave (he's self employed anyway) and cram for it at home. I keep saying that I think he might find it a bit hard to concentrate and the timing might not be great, but he seems to think newborns sleep 18 hours a day and it will all be fine.

Oh well, can't say I haven't warned him...

Emster don't let him do it! The first weeks are really really difficult! Yes they do sleep a lot, but the also wake up every coupe of hours in the middle of the night and need holding all the time and soil nappies at least 8 times a day, up to 16... And vomit and need changing clothes etc...etc.. He should not put any extra pressure on this time.
Memp it does sound like the start of labour? Did you speak to your MW?

Hi all,

Memphis sounds like something...think I might be in a similar place. Have been sorting things all day in bedroom so baby has a space to sleep in our bedroom, fairly constant pressure down below and tightenings. Have just dissolved into tears while giving dd a cuddle as suddenly gripped by emotion about how she won't be my baby anymore. I'm stupidly crying more and more as I write this.... Is this a normal anxiety?!?

Gracie sounds like a great plan tbh.

kk Hope you two are able to talk some more about this....well, as much as you feel you need to....

Emster my DH tried this and decided to postpone the exam in the end. I think he always felt torn between revising and being with us. He ended up spending most of dd first year revising for exams and think he found it very hard.

Hope all well, feeling slightly less hormonal now.....

Hi all,

I didnt actually do anything I said I would today! My friend and her 1 year old came over for a while instead and once they had left I felt too tired to go out so stuck a film on lol (so lazy).

I bought a couple of nighties in a bigger size from tesco for hospital bag and am wearing one now, well Im glad I decided to try it out first, even though its in a bigger size its pretty much skin tight! So will keep these for home and buy another pack in an even bigger size. I couldnt imagine trying to give birth in this its too constricting.
Ill prob end up naked anyway...