The PESH Deli for updiffed BESHes who love prunes and smell of wee wees

[rollerbaby]

BESH BABYWIN STATS

This isn't a fucking list - right?

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, Bay Amaryllis born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April 12

UPDIFFED
FannyPriceless, her pelvis went menkul, due June 14
CUNextTuesday, takes no shit from the Daily Mail, due June 28
IggyPiggy, The one who loves BUMSEX, due July 20
CurlyCasper, hospital botherer due July 21 (girl)
Skihorse, cradle snatching web geek, due July 22 (boy)
Carrots, organic hippy hunter, due July 25 (boy)
Cosmosis, the one that likes a good ride, due August 22
backinthebox, she bought a racehorse, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September ??
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
Honeymoo, no it's not fucking indigestion, due November 2
silversky, the biggest farter, due 21 October (first baybee)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November
ReginaMonologue, must-get-the-goss-from-ski, due November 20

It's more the maison de maître type arrangement - at least potentially. It is a huge old maison de maître, but the division is only partially complete. Yeah, I know it's messy. Well, it's something to think about. You are right to keep telling me to keep my eyes open to the complications, I realise.

T'is so lovely though.

Sorry curly - I added insult to injury by contriving to repeat the offending "seperate" about ten times in three sentences. Bad bad bad.

Looks here you lot. I iz viewing this on my phone and cannot see sfa at top of screen. Will have to get on laptop at the weekend.

iphone + groups = not good. but troo.

OK, here's something sensible. Maison de maitre's are beautiful. Lugging two bags of Delhaize, a baby and a buggy up 3 flights of stairs? Not so beautiful.

I haz idea about how to get silver via iphone... will send you fb mail.

... and parking is frequently a fucker outside town houses. When I lived in St Josse I got enough parking tickets to wallpaper the fecking walls.

The PESH Meet sounds good. I shudder to think what it would have been like had you lot been able to drink!

Have chosen my consultant to have baby at the Portland, lovely down-to-earth Scottish feller. When he left the room during our intro meeting, SkaterBoy and I turned to each other as one and mouthed "I love him."

Carrots I see your gardening smugness and I raise you ultrasmugness, have transfered tons of seedlings into pots and weeded and have baby basil growing in the greenhouse!

So lovely and sunny in Landahn today.

Oh and I will come to London meet!

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for your helpful posts... it's been torture here even researching things as I end up as a bag of jelly. Husband is lucky if he walks through the door without me gushing all over the place and looking like a snot bag.

I know that if I had the right mindset I'd be one of these people that could just shut away the NHS results and get on with it safe in the knowledge that the private results were far more accurate but I'm not sure I can do it. As hubby say's it's really not about the results any more but what is going on in my head, and he doesn't think we can cope with 5.5 months of an emotional train trip down desperation avenue, I'd probably end up losing the baby just because I'm in such a state which would only continue for the rest of the pregnancy.

The other thing I need to remember is that my age related risk alone would be something in the 1:400 range... so the private scan would definitely seem to indicate that I'm in the normal risk group, which is a tiny ray of hope.

The other thing to consider is that I honestly don't know that I could cope with a SN baby, as selfish as that sounds I just don't think I could, so if the baby did turn out to have a problem as sad as it is I'd be looking at the final option in any event, so maybe I am one of those people that is just going to have to know either way and figure it out from that point on.

Realistically too, I need to think about what if I couldn't have got the private scan done (no money, no facilities etc) I'd still be in the 1:10 risk and there would be no dilemma what so ever about what I would do, the amnio would be absolutely the right thing to do for me, the 1:200 risk for miscarrying due to the procedure would not even be something to consider as a reason not to have it.

I think in all realism what I need to do is man up a bit and live with the decision I think in fact I've already made, to get the Amnio, pray that nothing goes wrong and have a happy and healthy outcome. I suppose the one blessing is that our NHS doesn't offer the RAPID testing unless you're very high risk, which we apparently are, so at least we'll have the results back in 3 days. The problem now is waiting for the amnio - 2 weeks today and counting. It's going to be a long fortnight for sure.

I just hope the needle is long enough to get through the belly flab . That'll be the next problem I'm sure.. sorry Reggie you're just too fat for this procedure... seriously, I'd not be surprised.

ski I'm on it.

skater I think I have seen him on TV. Very nice man.

Hey reggie - awful to hear you so down. It sounds like you have made your decision - one that I completely understand - and the best thing now is to try and put away that stress for the next while. It's clear from your tests that the overwhelming likelihood is that the amnio will be fine. The only thing you can do is try and get into the best possible mindset for it and know that you will cross the bridge of what to do about results once you get there. Probably you'll never have to. As regards the risk attached to the test, it is very small and further "skewed" (so to speak) by the fact that in many cases, people are undergoing the test due to suspected problems - some of which might also play a role in the 1% miscarriage rate (source on this is once again my pregnancy book). So try to keep your spirits up my dear. Will be thinking of you in the coming days and weeks.

Just had a nosebleed. My first one ever. Strange.

reggie Please stop saying/thinking things like, "selfish as it sounds, I couldn't/don't want to cope with that child/that life". I have no personal experience of DS and I do know that many, many DS people have brilliant lives, as do their families. I'm in awe, but I don't want that life. The arguement that it's selfish to abort a DS baby is perhaps one that it's not possible to argue against, in the sense that it is clearly a selfish choice - ie - choice for yourself. But ultimately you have the absolute right to make that choice and you have the right to make choices for yourself and for your life. You only have one life yourself and you have the choice of how to live it. Anyone who disagrees isn't going through your life.

I am so sorry to hear about what you're going through. We're all here supporting you. I have been told by someone what knows to ignore the general statistics on the miscarriage rates of amnio and look at the SPECIFIC rates of the obst who does YOUR procedure. Choose one with a good rate, even if it takes a bit longer to find or you may need to consider going private. Tis the only advice I can give you. Hugs and tissues.

skater what seeds are you growing, you smug laydee you?

ski I am , I tell you. I spotted not one but TWO erroneous apostrophes in your last posts. What's going on, girl? Is having your baby last night distracting you?????

No I'm not eating blue cheese. Yuck. It's fungus and wrong. We've had this conversation. Ewwwww. But they are weird dreams, wot?

switty is very common. Not saying YOU are common

Switty I had nosebleeds a lot when duffed with Boo. I had to keep a box of tissues by the bed as every morning, literally as soon as I sat up, I'd get a nosebleed. I'm hoping not to repeat that experience this time round.

Reggie I am glad you have made a decision. You can only do what is right for you, and tbh, I think I'd probably feel the same. You are being v brave I think.

To join the smugness. I came home and did some salad leaf,tomato, and flower planting. SFF has finished digging the veg patch - so I guess transplanting starts tomorrow!

reggie I don't think you're being selfish at all - if the "worst" happens you will not be the first. This thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_tests_choices/899148-Talk-Antenatal-support-thread-for-women-who-have -chosen-to is very supportive - they're nearly up to 1000 posts and it's part five of their series. I like carrots advice though about finding an obstetrician who knows his way around a needle and also if you're paying they can fuck off with any sizist comments! Actually, maybe worth asking on the ante-natal choices page if anyone can recommend a private clinic near you? I am sure though that you will be fine, you are young and healthy (as is your husband) and the 1:434 really isn't so bad - AND the nasal bone was present AND the neck fold wasn't overly thick - isn't it over 3mm that is a danger sign?

Hello Peshes!

Dunno if you remember me, I used to post on the BESH thread, then disappeared after i got a new job (site is blocked at work - grrrr)

Anyhow, I've been stalking reading how you've all been doing, but haven't posted because being in a different time zone makes the conversation a bit one-sided

Reggie I wanted to post as I had a 1:30 and then a 1:200 (after nuchal scan) risk for DS and opted to have an amnio (cut off here is 1:300). People often compare the potential miscarriage rate to their risk factor when deciding whether to have the amnio, but really the two scenarios are both so completely different, that comparing probabilities wasn't helpful to me.

During our decision-making process, we weighed up the possible outcomes of each decision and what we felt we would/could rather live with - in other words, could we live with the risk of losing a much-wanted chromosomally "normal" child more then the possibility of having a child with DS. Much of this depends on your own personal feelings about having a child with special needs.

I have to say that even though we decided to have the amnio, we still to this day (am 36 weeks PG now) haven't told anybody else about the amnio as we both feel ashamed of our feelings about this and is also (if I'm being completely honest) another reason why I've avoided posting on here. It is a selfish decision at the end of the day, but being selfish isn't always bad and only you will have to live with the outcome.

My results came back all clear, for which I shall be forever grateful, and if there are other issues along the way (many people often decide not to have an amnio as there are lots of other special needs that cannot be tested for), then we will deal with them if and when they arrive. But I know that for us, as this moment in time, having the amnio was the right decision for us.

The ante-natal tests and choices thread is very helpful and informative if you haven't visited there yet, and if I can help to answer any other questions, please give me a shout.

I know it's a confusing and shitty time, but you will find a way through it all, and remember, you still have plenty time to think about it and get your head straight.

Aero!!! Welcome back!

Aero I don't remember you sorry, but that is very good and sage advice... You shouldn't feel you have to hide the fact you had the test, although I understand it is a very personal decision.

If the nasal bone was present that is a very good sign from what I understand, so please try and keep positive. Have you got lots of stuff to keep you busy over the weekend?

I've just cleaned ANOTHER pooey crate. Yay!

Aerie W00t! I thought you'd abandoned us for sexier, more north-American girls! I'm so glad you're doing well and I'd not realised you and cunty are nearly due at the same time - so it's a race then girls? Congratulations on your little boy.

reggie Please check in with us today and let us know you're surviving.

honey Our girls are still in kennels. It's bliss. Given your sexy outfit of yesterday are you planning to um... dress down today?

Hi All,

I am surviving... thanks to all of your super advice, some validation on what I'm thinking is what I needed and has certainly clarified my mind further today as to what I'm doing is the right decision for me and hubby and we do need to put ourselves first.

ski you old trooper you, I haven't seen you in years but I know I can rely on you to put a smile on my face and slap some sense into me . Your question on the nuchal fold measurement, I'm not sure what the thickness is that triggers serious alarm bells, though I've read of some people who have had 6mm as their reading... How is the morning sickness btw? Please tell me you've not puked in at least 24 hours!

poo the second coming eh? I'll be thinking of you on Christmas day whilst stuffing turkey and brandy sauce and brie (yes, all together.. why not!) I am having the Amnio on the 4th June in the morning, so a little under a fortnight to go. Trying to fill the weeks with things to do to make it go faster, unfortunately I'm not sure the bank balance will appreciate my need to keep busy at the moment...

cos nope it hasn't been easy to make the decision about the amnio, but I'm not even going to think about other possibilities until I need to. I woke up this morning still concerned and broken but with a small hope of just getting on with it for now and trying to think like none of this has happened, and in fact the amnio is just another test which is part and parcel of this pregnancy... that is helping a bit to get my head around it all...

swits I think that's what this is all about, now the seed of doubt has been planted in my head I just need to spray some weed killer on it otherwise it'll grow into a forest of confusion and frustration and misery. The amnio is like the weed killer, it'll end the doubt one way or the other. I think I'm a fairly black and white kinda person, gray isn't really in my rainbow which is why uncertainty is just something I can't cope with, and the amnio will provide a definitive answer for my main concern right now. I know it won't tell me everything is going to be fine because it doesn't test for everything, but to know what has been flagged as a potential issue will be addressed.

moo you're right, I should start looking at the risk in a positive way, 1:10 is still 90% chance all ok, and if I look at the private result the odds are even better. I will keep my Captain Positive hat on, and staple it in place!

curls thanks for the cheese of contentment, here have a slice and some water biccies to go with it... mmm cheese. I am still eating a huge amount of cheese, I should have shares in cathedral city right now...

rots thanks for the pointers on the specific rates. Oddly enough when I went for the private scan I asked the clinician if there was anyone she'd recommend. She mentioned a couple of names at our local hospital (one of which I'm currently booked in with) and I think Professor Kypros Nicolaides of the Fetal Medicine Centre as another. His name has come up time and time again when I've been researching amino practitioners so I might see how much it is to pay privately and go with him. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to request him on the NHS!

aerie thanks for your post it's reassuring to hear from someone who was in a very similar position to me and followed the same route as what we are going to do. I'm sure I'll have plenty of questions as the date for the procedure approaches so I will definitely take you up on your offer of Q&A - thank you for offering up your advice as you have, it means a lot to be able to speak to someone who has been there and done that and seen light at the end of the tunnel.

I shall sign off now (as I have in fact written an entire novel), but again thanks all for your posts of advice. I owe you all a hamper of banned foods, muffins and champers .

reggie I'm glad you are feeling better about having made the decision. I have a friend due in 2 weeks who went through the same thing. She took the amnio test and was told all was clear which really settled her mind. I think the hardest thing you are dealing with is the burden of responsibility of actually having a choice to make. For what it's worth I think you are doing the right thing, and I have my fingers crossed for you.

Hello aerie!

poo I like your due date. Daughter was born days before my 40th birthday, which obviously became a complete non-event. One of these days I am going to have a huge glamorous party and wear a slinky black cocktail dress...
[hopeful but feeling slightly cheated enoticon]

I am a bit relieved / stunned / exhausted today as I have finally come to the end of a horrible drawn-out work/legal ordeal. We spent the whole day yesterday in front of a judge trying to mediate a settlement between the parties, and thank god we finally got there at just after 5pm. I feel absolutely shattered but so relieved this is finally behind me.

I don't know how I got through it. I was in the wheelchair, hospital bag in the car (yes I've finally packed it) and the rooms were horribly hot. At one point I had to lie down across a row of chairs with the tribunal staff bringing cold wet tea towels to cool me down. I like to think that when the judge relayed this information to the other party they freaked out over the ill pregnant woman and caved in!*

*Disclaimer: obviously I am far too professional to have attempted to deliberately use this as a negotiating tool, it just happened that way, honest guv.

I think they have removed that bizarre Amy thread! Seems a bit weird as people said she wasn't a troll as she had apparently posted real posts elsewhere on MN. I was going to have another read to see if any more gems of wisdom had come to light, but alas this entertainment has been denied me.

Ski I thought leggings and a crop top today perhaps??

By the way on another point of vanity - I seem to have developed lovely blotchy cheeks, reminscent of cirrhosis or other alcoholic diseases. Nice.

Tummy is REALLY sticky out now, but not perfectly round so sometimes can look fat when sitting down. Just in case you were interested.

So... PESHNIC. Do we have a date? I can't remember what I keep saying. Where is Okie??????

Summer is here! I should be lying in a hammock, but instead I have been for lovely but very steady ride on big horse along with friend on new racehorse, and both neddies were fabuloso. Bizarrely we were bombarded by caterpillars the whole way round, some of which ended up in my pregnancy-enhanced cleavage. Then I started work on the duck pen, as they are stinky little buggers and I want them out of my tack room asap. Just having a bit of a sit down now - I am ginger and do not do midday sun very well.

Reg everyone else has given such good advice. I just want to add some words of support for you, however you go about things. The risks really are very small, but I know they must be looming large in your head. If you had the private tests done at Beard Mill I reckon they will be fairly good. The NHS scan I had, in contrast, was a bit rubbish and I would be much more inclined to go with what the lovely beardy lady said.

Poo I've started saving up for a bit of gold, frankincense and myrrh for you baybee

Silver I like your action shot! What a very nice big black one you have

Fanny milk it while you can! Sounds horrible, bet you're glad it's over now.

Whovere is planting seed - I planted loads, and discovered yesterday DD had tip many of them onto the floor of the greenhouse. Should be interesting in a couple of months!