The PESH Deli for updiffed BESHes who love prunes and smell of wee wees

[rollerbaby]

BESH BABYWIN STATS

This isn't a fucking list - right?

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, Bay Amaryllis born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April 12

UPDIFFED
FannyPriceless, her pelvis went menkul, due June 14
CUNextTuesday, takes no shit from the Daily Mail, due June 28
IggyPiggy, The one who loves BUMSEX, due July 20
CurlyCasper, hospital botherer due July 21 (girl)
Skihorse, cradle snatching web geek, due July 22 (boy)
Carrots, organic hippy hunter, due July 25 (boy)
Cosmosis, the one that likes a good ride, due August 22
backinthebox, she bought a racehorse, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September ??
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
Honeymoo, no it's not fucking indigestion, due November 2
silversky, the biggest farter, due 21 October (first baybee)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November
ReginaMonologue, must-get-the-goss-from-ski, due November 20

Sozzer Silver my memory is shot to bits. I can barely remember the day of the week.

Yay for bumps. I did a side on looky today and is definitely v sticky outy but still in a fat way.

I ask Mr C each morning "do I look fat or pregnant" and the answer usually is "depends on the angle" which I take to mean fat but he is trying to be nice.

A risky answer...

Grrr I'd spit in his tea for that... :O

Tis fine moochops

I still fink for those that don't know I am diffed that I just look like the fat bird that had eaten all the pies in a sort of reverse muffin type thing, tho then on closer inspection you can see start of bump.

Girl at work who is also diffed asked how bump was coming along so did quick show and tell to which she said "it's very hard" obv my gladiator style tummy muscles!

woop for the bumps. I'm sure you both look lovely.

well, my lovelies, just call me the girl with an ailment for every orifice - thrush didn't clear properly, UTI taking hold, and bum still blocked. Is it any wonder I'm feeling a lot of pain and pressure down there?!

Main reason they took me in was the massive reduction in BabyCC's movements, but as soon as they got me on the monitor she went mental. MW said that happens with about 99 per cent of reduced fetal movement cases - the babies react to either the bands around the belly or the sound of their own hearts, thumping away. Bump measurement was better, and child was declared fit and well.

But, on dipping the wee, hearing about the pain and discovering my 28-week FBC test results had completely dropped off the face of the Earth, they told me it was a good job I went in. I was even checked to see if I was going into labour because of where/when I winced as the doctor prodded my bump!
Reunited with a speculum. Again.

So, drucks for the bahookie and pee-tubes, painkillers for the pelvis (and, if I want, self-referral back to the physio), plenty of fluids, and rest (not at work) have been prescribed. And despite the discomfort, my mind is at rest.

sorry for the me, me, me. It has been an eventful afternoon. And this will take so long to post on my GPRS internet I might as well get it all in.

Dirty snogs and brie pies all round.

curlykale whinge away dear gal. Boy, you have had tough time and no doubt you have been thru the mill and then some. Rest can cure a thousand ails.

You weren't too far off the mark with the bad hair comment.

Anyone else's dawgz moulting for England? Hands up who has a furminator and do you rate? Answers on a postcard. Ackshully answers on this fred will do.

Oh poor cas. I feel your undercarriage pain.

And I know what you mean about the kid going bananas on that machine - Rastus kicked off big time as soon as the bands went on, which made me think he has a healthy disrespect for authority just like his mother father

I was thinking my 'bee-sting' lips (like the ones slebs crave but at the wrong end...) were a product of the thrush, however now I think it is not so much songbird related as babyweight and position related. Thought I may have made Rastus dead by my use of a pessary last night, but his persistent hiccups this afternoon has convinced me he is thriving . Plus of course the undeniable fact that a mucus plug is purpose designed to stop things going in and out...

Poor curly. You've really got all bases covered there with your ailments. I am so pleased you went though. It sounds like despite it all you got some reassurance.

Today I watched in awe as a foot (I think?) stuck out of my belly and did a huge arc from one side of me to the other. It looked like one of those big lazy stretches you do in bed on a Sunday morning, so I think he must be pretty happy in there!

Poor Curly... here have a toasted brie sandwich and a slug o'gin. Hope your lady bits feel better tomorrow.

Gawd Cas, I think you win on Ailment Bingo! Glad baby CC is doing ok and hope you are on the mend soon.

In other news -

• Russell Crowe's accent was very "ambiguous", which is to say he mumbled a lot and seemed to dart around the country much like I do when I attempt accents.

• I had a really big poo last night and feel much better for it.

• though to celebrate I then ate loads of chocolate which kept me awake through caffeine overdose.

• it's a beautiful morning. Hot croissants and coffee all round!

Found the new thread! Seems like everyone has passed the 'blooming' stage now, although I don't know when that phase is supposed to be - I only ever have bloomin' 'orrible phases! (Although best friend is telling me I am moaning less this time than last time. Resigned to my fate, more like!)

This week my tummy has been most moving around of it's own accord. Only not when anyone else is looking. Still - I have nearly 4 whole months of miracle-moving tummy to look forward to, so I'm not too worried OH and DD haven't seen it yet - there's plenty of time. I have put my guesstimate for new baby arriving to be the first ever baby in our family to arrive early - on the last day of the school year, just to be awkward. Probably by that stage I won't care though - I much prefer the baby to be on the outside of me once we are past the 'full term' point.

Yet more people have been to tell me big horse is very big. He is still not sold. I keep on having my 'last ever ride' on him, but am down to only 15-20 mins at a go now.

Anyway - keep plodding on, everyone. Some of you have enviably less time left being pregnant than I have!

Tell me boxster. Less than two weeks left at work, and the start of full-termness is but 3 weeks away. 3 WEEKS!!! I'm not ready, I don't want a baby any more. It's not mine, someone else can have it. I'll put an ad in the paper.

Pram just arrived from Bentalls. It's in 3 giant boxes. Am covered in gloom at the reality.

And even gloomier at the reality that they've delivered the wrong one

cunty Tell me, have you packed your hospital bag? Please tell me you're disorganised as me - I have made no progress since my half-hearted efforts last week. This morning over breakfast I said to our angel-help 'I really MUST pack my hospital bag'. She dropped what she was holding and screamed 'Have you really not packed it yet?'. Oh dear.

Have they really delivered the wrong pram?

No, but I've made a list which I believe is a Very Positive first step. We only live a 5 min drive from the hospital though so it's not too tragic if I forget something - will get one of the kids to pop it up if necessary.

Yes they've delivered the wrong frame. Paid for a black frame, got a silver frame. The rest of it is ok, but now we have to fag over to Bentalls to swap it for the correct one. Apparently they don't collect if it's the wrong one so the customer has to do all the faffing. Is there such a thing as pre-natal depression? Because I think I may be succumbing...

Bloody hell can't they deliver the right pram! Div's!

My boasting about sleeping all night has bit me on the arse. Awake at 3am. Too much on mind. Worrying about nag and shiz, then needed the loo. Was awake for about an hour. Husband then started talking in his sleep something about meat and wood. Clearly erotic dream on his part.

Fell back to sleep eventually then slept thru to my alarm and now I feel shagged.

Lovely day today shame I am held hostage working.

Morning PESH's, how you all doing?

No, don't get excited, I don't really belong here, just gatecrashing again.

Pliz to slap me about the face with a wet fish if this is old news, but I've been reading MN classics & there's a fred about the funny things that have happened during labour. I didn't think there could possibly be anything funny about it, but apparently there is!! Just thought in case of any nerves / pissed off-edness you may fancy a look-see.

Laters!

Oh, I have a list. An exquisitely detailed list in a beautifully formatted spreadsheet, no less. It will be a great comfort to me as I clutch it to my chest while being wheeled to the emergency delivery suite with no bag.

sliver I had a very complex dream about U2 last night. WTF? Then that dream morphed into one where my friends were trying to set me up with a guy who liked raw onion sandwiches. Can anyone interpret?

You are having an onion that looks like The Edge. It may even be born with a woolly hat on if you are lucky.

Hi laurie!

Can we have a link please?

So I am very proud of myself, having last night planted:

3 rows of carrots (organic, obviously)
2 rows of beetroot
6 lots of sweetcorn
3 rows of onions
2 rows of peas

And watered the whole flipping garden.

It was just lovely to be outside in the evening sunshine and lifted my mood immensely.

Happy days!

Hope this works!!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/263007-funniest-bit-of-childbirth

Hello laurie. Everyone here is actually in denial about this 'labour' thing other people keep mentioning. The current thinking is that you feel a couple of vague twinges 'down there' and 5 minutes later do a polite cough whereupon a sweet-smelling baybee lands on a pristine white pillow, already dressed in an organic cotton designer babygrow.

Except me of course, as according to cunty I am having a woolly onion.

Love the way you and cosmo pick 'difficult' shaped vegetables to give birth to. Me, see, I would have a parsnip or a leek by preference. Weirdos