caz you might not remember me, I was on the thread right at the beginning, our little bean didn't make it past 11 wks.
I am So so very sorry for the loss of precious little Belle, What a beautiful name.
I know it's a lot to take in, but when the time comes, try and make as many memories as possible for your little family. Take lots and lots of photos, read to her, spend the night with her if you can, take the time to count her little toes and fingers and tell her about your family and how much she was wanted and loved.
Perhaps buy a special blanket for her and a teddy or something, ( i can't remember if you have other dc's, if so perhaps they would like to choose something). You could write her a letter and choose some family photos to take with her in her casket.
Grandparents might like to meet her, that's entirely up to you of course, you will be able to have her blessed by a chaplain if that is your wish. The staff will be so sensitive to your labour and you will be offered plenty of pain relief if you want it, you should be able to have whoever you like with you during labour too, (ie they should be a little more relaxed about numbers if you wanted more than one person).
As far as a post mortem is concerned, it ay be obvious how little Belle passed when she is born, she may have the cord around her somewhere or it may be a concealed abruption, which isn't obvious now. On the other hand it may not be, please discuss with your caregivers about your choices, finding out what happened is not always guaranteed sadly.
I wish you every every strength throughout the next few weeks, take it slowly, litterally hour by hour and work up to day by day. Take comfort from those around you and if people ask how you are, then tell them, don't bottle it up, and share with your partner, men are rubbish at grieving and your dh will feel the need to be strong for you, allow him to cry too.
With prayers and love. x