The PESH Deli - where black-humoured diffed BESHes turn to hormonal mush.

[CurlyCasper]

If you don't like the title, tough. I'm still talking

BESH BABYWIN STATS

This isn?t a fucking list ? right?

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, Bay Amaryllis born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April 12

UPDIFFED
Ponymum, the one with the worst hips, due mid June
CUNextTuesday, takes no shit from the Daily Mail, due June 28
IggyPiggy, The one who loves BUMSEX, due July 20
CurlyCasper, the ginger with the dodgy joints due July 21 (girl)
Skihorse, cradle snatching web geek, due July 22 (boy)
Carrots, organic hippy hunter, due July 25 (boy)
Cosmosis, the one that likes a good ride, due August 22
Pandora, She's got wings, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September ??
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
Honeymoo, puppy lover, due November 1
silversky, the biggest farter, due 21 October (first baybee)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November
ReginaMonologue, must-get-the-goss-from-ski, due November 20

rots oh see now you've thrown it all into disarray - I was just eyeing up some girl stuff and now I've emptied the basket again . Don't forget now, it's the Monday that you get as a free holiday, not Friday! You actually raise an interesting question in my head now, in that I thought I didn't want to know the sex, but the more I think about it the more I think that maybe I would like to know, . I shall keep deliberating in my head for now...

switty yeah, I keep reverting back to "Nah, not pregnant" and then feel horribly guilty about dismissing the event! Ppl must think I'm odd as I keep groping my boobs to make sure they're still sore, just in case! As for telling your rents, man that's a toughy. We just casually dropped it into conversation, like "So when are you coming back from China? Oh, the 23rd November... really? That's a shame then because you might miss your grandbaby's arrival... " Fwiw, my parents seemed a bit underwhelmed at first, but they've definitely perked up now with the first scan pics being sent, perhaps they didn't want to get their hopes up in the first place and all of that! OH's rents on the other hand were very emotional about it all, tears and everything! I guess some ppl react differently to others...

all half contemplating a heart rate thingy to listen to babyee's boom boom - any ideas/recommendations?

reg angelsounds jumper. £20 on ebay. But mine's going spare to the first preggo to FB me their address. Battery panel cover cracked and battery dead, but otherwise it works just fine. Worked from about 11 weeks for me, and I managed to hook it up to digital dictaphone thingy to record the HB and send to family.

Okie and Reggie glad to hear scans went well, and good luck Mas for yours, it will be amazing!

Thanks all. Am 7+2 & getting it done at the local hospital. Going in about half an hour, will report back this afternoon

Well, engaged, I guess so, insofar as we will probably get married some time in 2011. Feels very weird, but kind of nice, to be congratulated on it cas . But boyfy would not be up for making a big deal of it (and I don't really care) and a ring is the last thing on my mind TBH, as we are planning to buy a car, hopefully a house and certainly some stuff for the baby (mind boggles), so a big diamond is not a priority right now. T'will also be a small wedding, but I think it will happen alright, so I'm on fairly safe ground there. I am quite happy to get married, but not fixated on an order for things to happen in (that would be just the folks...). So the announcement is more just to reassure them that we are serious so to speak (after 5 years, you'd think they would know that anyway, but I think it will help).

Looking forward to hearing how it goes mas!

rots proper bolters are terrifying... not suitable for riding or driving I reckon! (not same as horse which runs off with it's rider - obv!). Well done on the calm. I too tend to jump in front of loose horses - I stopped one on the road last year - much to blokes horror as I stopped on an A road to try to catch this loose horse! I did know the horse and it was cantering slowly... but still...

wits congrats on engagement!

Congrats switty.

As some of you may recall, last November (early) - jailbait uttered those fateful words "if you can get yourself pregnant, I'll marry you". Well - lo and behold I did get myself pregnant less than 2 weeks later. We had a chat on Sunday about me maybe starting to wear the ring. It's still in the drawer...

mas You will be fine!

rots I don't remember you telling us the new gf had left him already? We need PESH scurrilous gossip & details please!

reggie That's because your mum & dad are not overly emotional people - they'll be fantastic in the flesh though - I just can't imagine your mum gushing on the phone, but I bet she's had a sly wipe of a damp eye!

Big kudos to curly - isn't she lovely?

popple Are you early scanning it?

and the doppler goes to... reginamonologue!
Thanks for the message - will package it up asap and send it on. One less thing to transport to new house! You'll need some gel to use with it. Aloe vera worked fine for me - saved buying any of the fancy ultrasound stuff. Also need a 9 volt battery. (like these)

Sorry witts, I didn't mean to be non-congratulatory! I read it as meaning you were just telling them that you were going to get engaged when you didn't want to. If you do, fantastic! I loves a good wedding, me, and I'll wear a hat on the day in honour of the event . So I'm really chuffed for you - congrats! (sorry...)

Sorry ski didn't I mention it? It came up in the last court hearing when he referred to her as his "ex partner" and when I asked him later, she was leaving him and it's all my fault because of the protracted court case, and because the court's asked for details of her assets. This is a standard, if unfair question, which YOB's had to answer and is nothing to do with me but is part of the standard form thing and I've already promised both her and him that I would never allow my solicitor to attempt to claim any of her assets. And of course the reason it's protracted is because he's been not answering questions and has had 2 penal notices to force him to (this means if he doesn't he could go to prison).

Basically he's an arrogant SOB who would never, ever accept that he makes mistakes so therefore her leaving him must be my fault .

reg cheapo baby oil works too.

switty my baby brain has neglected your congratulations, so many many many happy ones of those to you! I remember my engagement being a bit weird... I'd already spied out a ring that I loved in an antiques shop, so when I dragged him there and he got it for me, it was that moment which felt like we got engaged... not really on Christmas day, a couple of months after buying the ring, when he popped the question (though that was of course a moment I'll never forget!).

curly yay! for your super generosity - I will make sure I get some of those there batteries for when it arrives

ski yep, you're right out my rents... I'm pretty sure when they come over after the birth it'll all be lots of motherly advice and all of that - you know how overbearing she can be!

Muffins, mojitos & batteries? That's a veritable PESH party!

reggie I don't think your mum is overbearing at all, I think she's just a very pragmatic person and it's obvious she loves you to bits - it's just that she's not the type to sprinkle 1000 saccharine words in to conversation. Her actions will (I believe) speak much louder. Can you tell I've always been a massive fan of your mum?

mmmm muffins

Mine was quite funny. One of us had broken a glass on the floor and he was cleaning it up while I sat on a chair next to him. He then stopped, nipped upstairs, came back down, carried on cleaning, then looked up at me, got onto one knee and said, "while I'm down here, will you marry me, in a church, and if we have kids we'll get them christened?" Yes, he put the provisos into the proposal .

He then presented me with a lurvely diamond ring which is a family one - originally his great-grandfather's - and much more than I'd normally wear but he didn't actually buy it and it's "on loan" as it were for the duration!

It came absolutely out of the blue but he said afterwards that he'd been trying to ask me for a fortnight, and had never quite "got the moment". Why cleaning up a broken glass was the moment I'll never know but apparently it was!

I was completely silent for 5 minutes, at which point I realised he was looking a bit concerned, and shaking, bless him, and I realised I'd not actually said yes! So I did.

Oooh good points carrots - re: christening - jailbait's grandmother is coming overr in August and apparently she's a bit ott catholic and there will be much "when will you be getting him Christened? he'll be in limb you know" - I'm thinking of counteracting this with a gentle "well we've got to get his foreskin wopped off first".

My diamond is also family - there's no way I could afford it and also, I'm not sure I'd want to. No doubt it's a genuine "blood diamond" being as it's old - not that I believe those certificates for one minute. Spent too much time with people from Antwerp who know the score...

I'm not being very gracious to jailbait - I know he's not a fan of marriage and so I feel in a way I'm "forcing" him to do it. I don't want to feel I'm forcing a man to marry me.

PMSL @ foreskin!

YOB is C of E and it's important to him. I'm really against it, in the sense that I strongly object to promising things I've no wish to keep (I don't ever break a promise). I would teach him about all aspects of religion though so I guess it's ok. But I won't bring him up a Christian - that's definately his choice.

This was the discussion we had. I'd said that I'd be happy for him to have him Christened but I wouldn't go. He said no deal. In the end I decided to compromise and we go to church every now and then for "special" stuff, so that will have to be enough.

Getting married in church was luuurvely though. I loved getting the church bells on the way out! And the vicar's a friend so that was nice.

I don't know why JB's not keen on marriage but I have been through that myself. I felt it was so objectionable to have to persuade a judge in his big judgey pants decide whether or not ex and I had a bad enough relationship to be allowed to separate. I mean, WTF is that about. It cost a bloody fortune (and still goes on) and it's Just Horrible. 'Course it was my fault for marrying the tosser int he first place when I didn't even like him that much!

Phew - I'm back.... Was all a bit scary - saw a tiny blob on the screen, fella fiddled around to get a decent angle then measured it & said it was 6+3. As I'm supposed to be 7+3 that wasn't good news - especially as my symptoms dipped suddenly a few days ago... So he wiped the belly jelly up and said to come back at 12 weeks when you would be able to see more - didn't say anything at all about the viability or otherwise so I assumed it wasn't possible to tell. So as I was getting up I asked if the machine could measure the heart rate, he said it did, and I said well is it possible to have a look at that then, as HR is a indication of viability isn't it? So trousers down again, belly jelly on, zoomed around... nothing... another angle, zoomed in - and suddenly dum-dum-dum-dum! Fuck me! Also had to ask him to measure the rate - which was 133bpm, which is a good sign I believe! Obviously pleased, but still stunned, and a little bit worried about the 6+3 rather than 7+3, but I think overall it seems to be looking good. Fuck! I really should be getting myself out of De Nile sometime soon.....

I fink that sounds like good news massie and chance of dates wrong on your part - making it measure smaller? Heartbeat is deffo good sign!!

Hi all - havin' a mare of a week, so apols for not being up on the goss, just wanted to say to maswee that mine measured a week smaller at my 7(ish) week scan, but if there's a heartbeat you have a 95% survival rate right there.

Love to everyone else (blame it on hormones). Normal service to be resumed later this week hopefully.

Rots you had an eventful weekend non? Well done for holding it all together.

Mas a heartbeat is a great sign! Was it a private scan or EPU? Strange he did not try and find heartbeat first time round? Oh well you got there in the end and you heard it so great news. If you are worried about dates then you could always go back again for another sometime between now and 12 weeks for reassurance.

okie, mas is somewhere exotic. Apparently, Kenya is very good for maternity healthcare (our Kenyan relatives found it better than the UK) but I'm not sure how good it is where you are mas? Incidentally why the name change given that you'll now be weeing a lot? .

All sounds good. As vag said, excellent chance as you've seen the heartbeat.

Brilliant news mas! HB is a very, very good sign.

I haz new white filling. For free! And sans injection! toothy

I have been reliably informed our full plot, including house, is just over a quarter of an acres. So garden falls just below ski's ride on limit! My delusions of garden grandeur have been shattered. BUt it's still a decent size compared to what we have now.

wee good news on the scan! I too was a bit worried about the HB, cos the first time she measured it, it sounded a bit "meh". Then she told me to go have a piss, and when I had emptied said bladder she measured it again, and it was pounding out loud and clear!

ski you have a very astute view of my mother, not many people get to see the full truth of Mrs T, but you've figured it.

WRT religion and general related stuff, OH and me have decided not to get miniMono baptised/christened... we didn't get married in a church so I think it'd be a bit hypocritical of us to suddenly decide that we've gone all religious. Same with God parents really - we're gonna go with guardians and a baby blessing or some such (AKA excuse to have champers and picnic somewhere with people we consider safe to leave a baby with..)

That's not to say I won't expose the miniMono to what other people think, every one has an opinion right?