The PESH Deli - where black-humoured diffed BESHes turn to hormonal mush.

[CurlyCasper]

If you don't like the title, tough. I'm still talking

BESH BABYWIN STATS

This isn?t a fucking list ? right?

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, Bay Amaryllis born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April 12

UPDIFFED
Ponymum, the one with the worst hips, due mid June
CUNextTuesday, takes no shit from the Daily Mail, due June 28
IggyPiggy, The one who loves BUMSEX, due July 20
CurlyCasper, the ginger with the dodgy joints due July 21 (girl)
Skihorse, cradle snatching web geek, due July 22 (boy)
Carrots, organic hippy hunter, due July 25 (boy)
Cosmosis, the one that likes a good ride, due August 22
Pandora, She's got wings, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September ??
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
Honeymoo, puppy lover, due November 1
silversky, the biggest farter, due 21 October (first baybee)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November
ReginaMonologue, must-get-the-goss-from-ski, due November 20

pony I'm sure SFF would love a couple of sheep. Not sure Mutt would agree. Or the landlord. And I'd be a wuss when SFF inevitably decides it's time to eat them...

Anyway, a paddock was a bit of an exaggeration. I think. I have no idea how to describe pieces of land.

Perineal massage - I will defo be getting him onto that in a few weeks. I will do anything to keep myself intact. Leg cramps started today - any tips?

I'm quite excited about the prospect of trying gas and air. There was a woman next door when I was on the labour ward last week who was going through the stuff at a hell of a rate. You could hear all the tubes wheezing through the wall. Knowing my luck it will make me puke or something.

reggie Congrats again for yesterday. Did you well up in to a big ball of tears and wail? Well done for not getting dildo'd - although of course hubby might've liked watching a lady do this to you. I have an old wive's tale up my sleeve wrt sex of your baybee if you'd like to hear it?

pony I'm very sorry to hear you won't be able to make it to Newcastle but I do understand completely. If memory serves me right it's quite cobbly which would be a bloody nightmare on wobbly feet, never mind a chair.

cunty I don't know, but right now Julian is most definitely all over the place. I'm not worried - he's either going to go head down nearer the time or I'm getting a sunroof. No worries.

curly i) find someone with an 'orse and ask them if they want the hay? If yes, tell them if they can get it cut it's theirs for free. ii) pay your local farmer/handyman to cut it on an industrial machine. It really is the only way. Anything bigger than quarter of an acre really is a sit-on job and even then you're looking at a couple of hours a time. Beautiful houses in the country are beautiful - it's the maintenance which is a bind.

PS cokie Looks like you're going to have to grab all the London ladies - a day out at Chessington world of adventures perhaps?

Bah. message swallowed by MN. I'll come back later.

I haz just watched John Lewis ad. Eyes are completely dry.

ski old wif's tale - spill the beans then! I was quite refrained in the scan room wrt to tears, I was more fascinated by what I was seeing and paying attention to what was what...it was only when I was driving back home I burst into floods of the watery stuff...

rots bloomin' heck lady, you know how the party eh? Glad everything came out in the wash, but hell, that's not the sorta crap you need right now is it... I hope you have a very bland and unexciting bank holiday!

@ reggie Roight... well said tale goes that a hb > 160 so early on = girl, < 160 = boy. However, as the PESH girls are currently running at about 70% boys (or chicks with dicks in the case of the 2nd timers)...

I cried at the time, in the car, driving home, at home, etc., etc. Couldn't believe there was a little alien person inside me - you'd have thought positive piss-stick and absence of period and head down the toilet would've been clues. In fact with everything I think I only really believed it when I could feel him kicking.

ski so a gurl then? Ohh, that'd be cool, but for some reason I keep referring to miniMono as a boy, don't know why... subconscious talking maybe? Researching this, apparently another indicator is that your right boob is smaller than you left one, which in my case is true... could it be I am going to have to raise a tomboy?! You know I'm no pink princess!

reggie I was convinced Julian was a boy, despite real-life people telling me it was "definitely" a girl. I just felt it was a boy. Boobage same as yours.

For scientific PESH-research purposes, did anyone else have a feeling about sex before it was confirmed/denied?

Helllllllllpp... I have a scan this afternoon and I am pooping myself. Am still feeling Utterly Unconvinced that it's real - but even scarier is the prospect of knowing it ain't. FUCK.

FUCKFUCKFUCK

good luck mas! It will be just fine.

ski. I had both the gut feeling and the boobage to indicate a girl. And both were right (unless we get a big surprise come July). In fact, we both had an inkling it was a girl.

Lower half of my belly, where she is, keeps going hard for short periods of time. I am only just aware of it happening, and have to have a feel to make sure. There is a vast difference between tight tum and relaxed. It doesn't hurt (yet). Are these Braxton Hicks?

mas how many weeks are you? Do you have to travel far for the scan?

mas I was pooping myself as well, and as ski said the other day, the first scan is scary, but that'll all melt away 30 seconds after you've dropped your kecks and the belly jelly is slapped on... I'm still awestruck from my scan yesterday, and very proud!

Btw, I'm currently addicted to twinnings Ginger and Lemon tea, it's lovely, esp. with some honey dumped in it .

mas enjoy it!

reg My son was absolutely a girl for all those reasons (boobs, heartbeat, hanging my wedding ring on a string and seeing which way it pendulumed across my belly), shape of bump and so on. So much a girl was he that we'd no boys names at all.

Obviously she was born with a willy (of which she's now VERY aware and likes to play with - typical) and has lots of other boy-like tendencies, like wanting to get muddy all the time and ride around on bikes a lot. So eventually I decided that somewhere down the birth canal s/he changed sex.

Obviously though if I ever had a girl I would be pretty disappointed if she didn't also love to get muddy and ride around on bikes. But I would be a bit irritated if she spent as much time with her hand down her trousers as my son does. Although I'm not keen on him doing it, either.

I wonder if "poo", "wee", "bottom" and "pants" are as funny to 5 year old girls as they are to 5 year old boys???

cos wow. Extreme sports are one thing but extreme sports where you miss a night's sleep? I think that's a step too far for me

cun yet yer 'and oop there lovely. Or his. Either way. LOL

Oh and reg thanks for reminding me it's a bank holiday! I'd actually forgotten and you've earnt me a lie-in as I otherwise would undoubtedly have gone to work .

mas good luck for scan. is nervwracking isn't it.

Rots as far as DD is concerned farts are the funniest thing ever! And she loves her pink bike and wearing her pink all-in-one to make mud pies with. Her Thomas the Tank Engine tshirt (from the boys' section of Mothercare) in her opinion goes very well with her pink skirt and navy blue Thomas socks. She is either all-comfortable with her girliness and tomboyishness all at the same time, or confused

Cunty I did perineal massage religiously last time (along with my Kegels) and what good did it do me? Still, you might just like it and then it's not wasted time!

Mas noone believes there is anything in there first time round. But there probably is, just waiting to wave at you. Good luck!

mas good luck my lover - I was similar wreck before my scan, so much sympathy here.

Congrats on scans cokie and reggie and anyone else that has had one

skates I was there at about 11.30am? I would put money on the fact that you were in my tour group tho - cos one girl was due in a month - and I don't think the other was you - not sure why... I did like the Portland Hosp - all calm and quiet and the rooms were pleasing with the birthing balls and yoga mats and I like the big water bath thing. The only thing that freaked me out was that they have no visiting times - so people can come whenever

rots v. scary story! Nothing more scary that a horse bolting - and with carriages... that is the one thing that frightens me about driving (although we do have a little driving pony at the stables, so I do go out occasionally).. so glad you all ok - well... apart fromt he landie..

Hello hello! Sorry I have drifted out for a while. It was a very busy weekend, where I arrived at the delightful conclusion that my fatigue phase was over. Hurrah for staying out 'til two on Friday, eleven on Saturday and then collapsing in a heap on the sofa on Sunday evening and only vaguely getting back to normal now. Yes, I think I may have overdone it a bit. Even the nausea resurfaced and left me feeling like crap. Still, I think I've turned a corner.

Reggie! It was was really nice to hear about your scan. Datewise, I think I had mine on the exact same (10+2) and it was amazing what you could see! Legs, arms, hands, heart, brain, movement. Funny enough, the doc didn't tell us the heartrate, which is annoying as I am keen to test the old wives tale (which really can't be that old, when you think about it, as presumably these old wives would not have had dopplers or ultrasounds. Anyway, I digress). I didn't actually cry I must admit (so hardboiled), but it all felt amazingly real for those few moments. It has now receded into crazy unreality again. Pregnant, moi? I can't believe it.

Mas good luck with your scan! Tell us all the details. You'll see, it's even worth enduring the insertion of that humiliating internal ultrasound scanner. Not to make your nervous or anything.

carrots I am in awe of your calm in the face of not one, but two, bolting horses. This story will not help a lot as regards the Besh fatwah on camping methinks. So glad that you all escaped unscathed and with your equipment more or less intact.

Ski I told you my "feeling" (actually logical theory based on deduction) is that the babyje will be a boy, because there are no girls in boyfy's family for three generations. SIL's second baby (2 weeks ahead) has just been confirmed as another boy. But it's all good. I am happy with a future filled with football boots, just want a happy healthy child. I am currently knitting a blue blanket. I know, I know, But in my defense, it is a beautful dark blue and I would happily use it for a baby of either gender.

Well: in other news, I go home to tell the parents this weekend. Friday evening I guess. I am oddly apprehensive about this. Firstly: they will fall out of the sky with shock and secondly, I know they would have wanted us to be married and preferably set up in a house beforehand. Anyway, we have agreed to preface the annoucement by telling them we are engaged (talk of dates to be waved away with an airy hand) before getting down to the main business on the agenda. They do have a great ability to get things in perspective, so I hope they will react well. My imagination just blanks when I try to imagine it... eeeek Anyone have any tips on nice ways to do it?

I know iggs. Poor horse was sooo scared, which is the problem with carriages as they are trying to get away from that, too, as although they can't see it they feel it bouncing behind them when it tips. It's really rare for that to happen though, with driving trials carriages, as they're mostly 4 wheelers. Was a bad job. But, it's much, much, much rarer to see a loose carriage horse than a riding horse. Partly because it's sooo much harder to be thrown from the carriage than a horse's back, and partly because a carriage horse who has bolted once should NEVER be put back to a carriage, and therefore a "known" bolter is seldom, if ever, in front of a carriage. That doesn't make them plodders - I wouldn't ride some of my mother's horses as they're NUTS!

swit being calm in the face of a bolting horse is easy (having ridden since I was 4, I'm just indoctrinated in how to handle those situations) but believe me, 20 minutes later I was a MESS. Seriously messy. Not pretty at all.

What was interesting was the difference in instinct. Pre-LC I would have run in front of it (sort of, but to the side, hard to describe) to try to re-route it (virtually impossible but sometimes works as usually they run blind and just don't see what they're running into, hence not getting in front!). But I would have tried to stop it running into our stuff. But this time, instinct made me grab the little fella and protect him completely. I wonder what I would have done on my own, whether I would have tried to protect the baby or whether I'd not have thought about that. We had a loose goat in the village the other day and I did try to jump in front of that - much to YOB's very crossness!

Good look with telling the folks! Do you want to get married though? If not, I'm not sure it's a good idea to suggest you're getting engaged as otherwise you'll never hear the rest of it. But what do I know. I don't have children out of wedlock. I just have two different kids by two different men .

wits so you've got engaged then? Congrats! Hope you get a nice ring before Friday.. Got to do it properly and all that...

Sure your family will be delighted for you.

Speaking of which, I told my ex yesterday that to have two different children by two different mothers and have both mothers leave them was not a good thing from his point of view (he's blaming me for his GF, mother of his new baby, leaving him). He said, "OH so I suppose it's all MY fault then?". I pointed out it was hardly MINE that GF had gone..!!!

what a twat rots