The PESH Deli - where black-humoured diffed BESHes turn to hormonal mush.

[CurlyCasper]

If you don't like the title, tough. I'm still talking

BESH BABYWIN STATS

This isn?t a fucking list ? right?

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, Bay Amaryllis born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April 12

UPDIFFED
Ponymum, the one with the worst hips, due mid June
CUNextTuesday, takes no shit from the Daily Mail, due June 28
IggyPiggy, The one who loves BUMSEX, due July 20
CurlyCasper, the ginger with the dodgy joints due July 21 (girl)
Skihorse, cradle snatching web geek, due July 22 (boy)
Carrots, organic hippy hunter, due July 25 (boy)
Cosmosis, the one that likes a good ride, due August 22
Pandora, She's got wings, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September ??
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
Honeymoo, puppy lover, due November 1
silversky, the biggest farter, due 21 October (first baybee)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November
ReginaMonologue, must-get-the-goss-from-ski, due November 20

maswera Are you the lady of the wee? Congratulations - fantastic news, and in the great scheme of things excellent timing wrt your return this summer. What are you planning on orderling online? Not sure you'll actually need a terrific amount just yet. I did however get a couple of books on pregnancy just so I'd feel more involved. I don't think any of us (curly excepted?) got stuck in to the buying "stuff" until after the 12 week scan - you've got bags of time.

I've not (yet) got any stretch marks - but am the not-so-proud owner of a botched tummytuck so had "room to spare" as it were. I've been rubbing in body shop butter anyway but the testers I've tried from palmers/boots both smelled gorgeous.

Thanks millions rotty Have fun!

Maswera. I think if you're going to get stretch marks, you're going to get them. Nonetheless I have been using Biooil on my belly, which is still mark free and rather smoothe (for now). My breasts, hips and bum, however... Biooil smells nice though, which I find therapeutic in an aromatherapy kind of way.

Also: comfy trousers (with over bump jersey panels). long bolster pillow thing. Bigger bras/bra extenders. Books! Preggo yoga classes and DVD (with lessons in massage for the daddy). (and, erm, , tena lady minis.... )

And between 10 and 18 weeks I adored my angelsounds fetal heart monitor, which I used with aloe vera gel. I managed to kill the battery (and the battery cover thingy) due to over use. I would now be happy to donate this to a needy PESH.

Morning all! Just had a FB frenzy so I've added everyone that requested/recommended - hello!

Piece of advice required... facial hair means I'm beginning to look like Hercule Poirot - used to be a bleach girl but I hear I could come out in pustules since my skin chemistry is all outta whack - I am still flaking! Don't want to look like a lepper, esp. this close to the weekend - who's tried at home waxing on the mush? Or, threading - anyone done that and come out safely on the other side... anyone got any specific products/treatments they'd recommend?

Well chuffed I'm on the "not list" - though looking at the list of laydees in front of me I've got a long way to go... I hope some more late developers join soon enough! Anyone know what happened to Laurie?

Oh, I've tried to let ppl know who I am on FB - but if I've been a bit dumb, my initials are AH...

I'm just a teenage dirtbox (I know it's bag ) baby! I quite liked that advert, although some of my workmates said they found it patronising.

Ski to get off hoss, here's how. Stand beastie beside something tall. I like a picnic table. Train horsey to stand there for some time. It helps to have done this earlier in pregnancy, or even before being pregnant - I had already done this so as not to spill my drink when hunting! When horsey is standing still by tall thing, wiggle and rock to and fro till you have enough momentum to swing leg over the pommel, so you are sitting sideways. This could take some time if your hips are very loose, and will require much patience (and rolling of eyes and huffing) from horse. Sit there for a bit to rest for the next stage. When you have your breathe back, lower yourself GENTLY(Remember you can't see your feet!) onto the tall thing. Try not to fall over forward when your feet touch down. Ta da! Bow to your inevitable audience. Try not to notice the cats bum looks. I was still riding at your stage last time although it was only 20 minute trundles. Couldn't manage any more or my hips would have permanently fused open and I would have had to walk like John Wayne forever.

Sorry I am tactless and stomped on your pantomime btw. We'll say no more about it.

Ooh, and was was absent, so a belated congrats to Cheggers and Pol!

Hooray! A new thread!

Hooray! BabygirlCas is all good!

Hooray! Masawee is here!

Hooray! to newbies!

Cheers Ski & Curly (ski - yes, tis I!) I know I don't need much just yet (and don't want to tempt fate by getting things too early), but the post to here is shite so we get stuff brought over when someone is coming... Might not get someone else coming for months after this visit, so thought would take the opportunity to get some necessaries in...

at the tena ladies! I am really not prepared for this... Good idea about preggo DVD Curly, ta.

Got docs appt at 11.30 - gonna do another test before then in case he says 'no you're NOT you CRAZY LADY'. That will make six to date - do I win menkul?

reg due to being monstrously hairy I have my tach waxed regularly by a pro. I've tried the little veet strips but prefer someone else to do it for me (am a wimp). Not sure if it would affect any sensitive skin though.

reggie When my skin went to pot my beautician refused to wax it because she didn't want to irritate the skin further. Have you tried a balaclava?

mas Following on from curly's sensible list. Giant pants. Pants which come up to your nipples and are filled with lycra so as not to aggravate your bump. I couldn't tolerate ANY pressure on it at all.

reggie I think laurie is somewhere on the banks of De Nile waiting for polly to get off the boat. Boat kindly donated by VAG.

Btw, am a total eejit and forgot to say THANK GOD to curly last night for her safe return from the maternity ward.

mas If it's any consolation I've only pissed my pants when I've been puking my little guts up and that's been well after everyone else stopped puking and so the baby was big enough to stamp on my bladder with every heave.

Bras from www.nursingbra-shop.co.uk/ (PESHes like Hot Milk) - I know it says free postage worldwide but in your situation might be better getting them posted to your friend. I guess bra-extenders would also be a good idea for you right now to just tide you over until you're back in the EU.

Btw, six piss-sticks? Not even close.

lozza is woofling I think.

Fanks ski re yesterday. Funnily enough, I have done the opposite on the pants front. They MUST sit under my bump and i'm still very happy in my Primark cheeky monkeys (and other comedy pants at

Ok now I'm feel outlandishly freakish - I only pissed on 1 stick - how many have you all done then? Does my monostick allegiance mean I'm wandering down the path of bad motherhood already, or that I'm in fact just a bit tight... .

reggie I only pissed on one too. The line came up as thick as if I'd ran a marker pen down it - there was no denial, no holding it up to the light. I believed it. Then cried because I was pregnant and I wasn't ready.

ski I hear ya... congrats on the not puking btw, has the nausea gone as well?

Any thoughts on how you'll spend the time that you'll regain now your head isn't down the lavvy?

3 different ones on the first day, then a few more cause the drawer was full of them...

oh yes, and hurray for puke free ski.

Must actually do some work now...

'lo all. I am lurking but as Ski quite rightly says, in de nile. Really really pleased for Casp that all is ok.

I do not have any symptoms so I'm wondering if a) I imagined it all or b) body has absorbed BooTwo. I do not even have sore norks. I haz slightly sore nips but that is due to the nipple clamps*.

I am in a grump today as twatboy woke me up at 5am to tell me he has a migraine (I knew that when he went to bed) and Boo woke me up at 6 because she was hungry (refused to eat dinner last night, so I refused to give her any pudding). Bah!

WeeWee I got one pregnancy book called the rough guide to pg and birth by Kaz Cooke. It is a week by week diary of her pregnancy, filled with lots of info; factual but not too scary and I found it vey funny. Good to have some humour amongst all the menkulling. And I second Casp on the BioOil - I started to get horrible purple marks on norks before I was even 3 months gone with Boo, but I started using that everyday and they went (before I even had Boo) and I had no stretch marks at all. Er what else... If you want a book for post-baybee I'd recommend the Baby Whisperer, I found it so useful.

Oooh yes, and I heartily recommend a DVD called Dunstan Baby Language - it basically teaches you how to interpret the different cries your baybee will make, it's amazing. I was completely clueless about babies and was entirely unprepared for anything beyond labour, so found this absolutely invaluable. Google it!

*They are not really nipple clamps - they are 'Avent Nipplettes'. I persevered with BF for 4 weeks with Boo but it was torture as (TMI) my nips are too flat and she couldn't latch on properly. Poor love was starving so despite being bullied by midwife I gave up and put her on the bottle (no, not the gin) and she put on 12oz in a week and turned into happy angel baybee. I am determined to BF for longer this time and without all the stress and upset, so the nipplettes are training my nips to stand out. Ouch.

Thanks for remembering to add me to the list! awww, so touched. For reference my EDD is actually 14 November, according to doc and his wildly differing guessestimates. Anyway, that's the working date, so I'm sticking to it.

Curls so glad to heard everything was fine! Glad you were also able to give that student doc a few tips on the length of the gestation period. I have also had a student sitting in on my last few appointments. Actually, she is quite sweet and takes my BP with extraordinary diffidence and gentleness.

mas hige congrats on diffment! I bought a book a few weeks ago called "Your pregnancy week by week" by Dr Lesley Regan. It is satisfyingly sciency and detailed and not patronising at all. I am very happy with it and recommend it thoroughly. Not much other advice really. Erm, try to avoid accidentally taking a double dose of folic acid every day for a month: it is a source of needless worry. Hope you are feeling well!

reg - you only peed on one stick? Well , that's probably the same for everyone. After all, why would one wildly and extravagantly buy another ten just to keep seeing the same result? Tchah, beats me.

Baybee??!! You mean I'm gonna have BAYBEE???

fuck me - far too much to catch up on!! might have to do it in stages...

casp am massively pleased all ok - was v. happy to see your FB status yesterday! And I guess was good chance to check out the facilities in advance!

silver am 100% with you on evil Cesar! Learning about dogs is fab - I know one of the trainers there. (Is wag more place innit?)

I has new FB frens...

EDD = 1 September

I am having (d) a surprise (a baby, hopefully and not a hedgehog as per last week's dream)

I plan to take the hardest drugs going, have a nice long "trip" and find a baybee in a pot of gold at the end of it

I haz no hoss but 2 cats and yearn for a dawg.

I heart dogs but SkaterBoy wont let me have one while we both work full time.

Weirdest preggo dream: I was in labour and telling the midwife it hurt, she clearly thought I was overreacting. Then I gave birth to a hedgehog.

Thanks kermitlover. Hoped the FB would work without drawing too many questions from non-PESH people. Am envious of your bump/breast proportions. You haz lovely curves. My boobs are overshadowed into nothingness and I think I look like a pregnant teenage boy Probably doesn't help that I am wearing a t-shirt from Topman.
How did your AN class go? We start next week...

Cosmosis I dream about SkaterBaby all the time. Convinced I'm brewing a ginger too. Also, I got up at 6 am and started mucking out the spare room. 22 weeks is way too early for the nesting hormone, no?

"Any good preggo books that are heavy on FACT and light on opinion and teethgrinding patronisation....?"
maswera, Ive got Your Pregnancy Week by Week by Lesley Regan. She's a Professor of Obs & Gynae. Book is very factual and non-judgey.

Plans for weekend:
Tonight: Dinner at awesome restaurant with sister & her bf and SkaterBoy
Tomorrow: scan and garden centre and gardening*.
Sunday: brunch with other sister and Portland tour
*Lazing in garden while DH gardens.

Have y'all seen the thread
things you took for granted before having children that seem like unimaginable luxuries now?

Sweet holy Jesus.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1268124/Harry-heavywight-Newborn-tips-scales-STONE.html

oh. too late for that now... tsk.