**August 2010** Part 6!! Starting to show with gusto now ladies.

[CherryPie3]

Thread 6.

You lot talk too much.....

Happy chatting

9.30pm - Finally strolls in.
Me: Nice of you to join us! Him: Haha, I'm off out again in a bit mind!
Me: Where? Him: Newport clubbing. (Ok thats nothing I didn't do at 17!)
9.32pm - In the bath.
9.45pm - Dressed ready for the night out.
9.50pm - Spends 15 mins on facebook.
10.05pm - Lift has arrived for a night in Newport clubbing. So off he goes!!!!

Well - at least I know where he is tonight and he says he is going to come home to sleep.

If fear I may become the strictest mother in the world if my anxiety over him this weekend is anything to go by!! and he's only my brother in law, not my child!

Caz, I do think it was a bit rude of him not to ring this morn to let you know he was still alive! But I suppose if it was 3am last night and he decided to crash somewhere I don't suppose he thought you'd appreciate a phone call .

Babyducky, sounds like you got apalling care and advice re BFing. Hopefully things will go better from the start this time - do you feel you have the confidence this time? Is there anything anyone can do to help you prepare?

Cherry, glad everything was ok.

I am off to hunt for the fb group - is there any chance we can take 'MN' out of the title? I don't really like anyone knowing I use MN really - don't want people snooping around after me!

Caz I also have my BIL staying at the moment, but he's now 23 and so much more mature than he was a few years back! He texts if he's going to be out all night, and he's just done all the washing up. hooray!

sparkle I am also having my 4th scan next week

It's a growth scan as dd2 weighed 9lb and arrived 11 days early so they are checking to see what size this one will be.

At 28 wks though I can't see it being very accurate??

Also have to have a blood test to check glucose levels for gestational diabetes which can be a reason for big babies.

Dd1 was 8.5lb on her due date so big enough and they only get bigger!

Weather here not great again cold and grey and both the dds have coughs and sore throats.

Morning

Struggled to get up this morning

Got quite dizzy yesterday evening. Kind of like that feeling when you are out drinking and it is only when you sit on the loo you realise quite how drunk you are with your head spinning. Had a couple of faint spells last pg, but thought it was mainly due to my broken leg I generally have quite low BP, so perhaps it just dipped a bit. Anyway, feel ok again now.

Thinking of making the baby's bird mobile out of bright felt instead of fabric, so might get on with that shortly....

Morning all

Hope you are all well.

Thanks for the chicken pox advice.

I agree it was a bit rude of him not to let you know but I'm ashamed to say I was just the same at that age! Probably worse, my poor mum!!

Neenz- I do feel slightly more confident this time but at the same time I'm sort of expecting it to go wrong, I stupidly thought it'd be so easy last time & I think that's why I got so stressed & upset about it. I can see it's going to be a lot harder this time having a 3 year old to deal with aswell!
If you have ANY advice for me I'd be grateful

ds has felt the baby kick now, he was really excited! He keeps coming & putting his hand on my tummy to try & feel it again!

I also think it'd be good to take mnet out of title if poss
x

That is really sweet! DD is completely uninterested and looks at me wit slight disgust if i mention the baby to her

I started a thread last week on presents for older siblings on the birth of a baby, and we are thinking about a camera for DD. She is always taking pics on my phone, so an indestructable kids one could be a good idea...

Morning,

The easiest way to stop us all being followed on the fb group is to change it to a secret group. That way it doesn't show up on your profile when you write on the boards or that you are even in the group - I too have nosey friends and family! It just means that anyone who wants to join would have to be invited rather than request, but I'm sure we could make any requests on here.

We are thinking of getting ds a camera too alice, he loves taking pics! I was thinking of that & maybe a colouring book, new DVD or 2! & he has said he wants some sweets from the baby! As long as he gets the sweets he will be happy

Someone mentioned having little treats hidden away for those moments when you need to do something with the baby, but toddler is being demanding. DVD's, colouring books, magazines, jigsaw puzzle etc.

I didn't think of sweets! DD will be very happy with a pack of buttons!

I am starting to get excited about it all now. So far names are Frederick (Fred) Henry or Edward (Ted, Teddy) DH likes Frederick Charles atm, so considering that.

That's a good idea,

We are also going shopping in a few weeks for ds to choose a present for baby, he has said he'd like to get it a brown teddy!

Love Edward with nickname ted/teddy! So cute!

Funnily enough, DH doesn't like the nickname Ted/Teddy.

I have 14weeks left exactly, but going to break it down a bit to make it a bit more bearable and so that i get things done.

Eg: 4 weeks til i am 30weeks

*By then i want to have completely cleared out my car (lots of horse rugs etc that need to be sorted but i keep putting off)
*Made the downstairs blinds
*Organised our bedroom to be painted

• Have gone to ikea

From 30 - 34weeks

*Think about DD present - get it
*Start stocking up on mini treats for DD
*Make Bird mobile (if not done by then) and bibs/dribble cloths

Etc....

I may have an electric breast pump though as a friend said i could have hers. Is it sad to be excited about that?

Alice that's really organised breaking up the weeks to come into separate to do lists, I might copy you if you don't mind.

On the fb front, I would like the page to be secret too if possible. I've already had two nosey "friendly" enquiries and I only joined the group yesterday.

I have all my groups hidden as I am a member of a couple of other forum-related groups and I didn't want my mum or anyone else tracking me down! But I would also be in favour of it being a secret group.

I am another one getting 4 scans in total - I had 2 nuchal scans, one which was too early and the second too late, so I never did get a nuchal measurement! Then there was the 20-week scan, and at that the sonographer said it was measuring small so booked me in for a 36-week growth scan. No idea why as in fact when we looked at the charts, and my midwife agrees, the baby was measuring big, not small! Never mind. It will be nice to have a scan at that stage to check position etc.

Yeah a secret group would be great. I don't mind posting my name on here (with gaps so it is unGoogleable!) and then Star can invite me to join .

Babyducky, any La Leche League book on BFing would be invaluable I think. I had one that was specifically for twins but they do lots of others. Perhaps research slings that you can feed baby in while still having your hands free for your toddler? That is what I am going to do. I don't know anything about slings cos couldn't use one with the twins so if anyone knows a good sling for feeding I would be very grateful for any recommendations!

Morning all!

Moved a very hungover BIL off the sofa and into bed at 8.am this morning - he'd crashed there when he got in at 5! I never had that much stamina, nights out ended at around 2 for me! and these days I struggle to get past midnight (and that was before I was pregnant, now its more like 10!!) I have a feeling full on nights out are a thing of the past now, luckily enough I don't think I will miss them at all!!

Alice - hope your feeling much better now! I'm also having thoughts about what I'd like to get done between now and 30 weeks! etc. My main priority is getting the attic done so we can start the nursery, its starting to drive me nuts. I bought the boards and ladder etc to do the attick back in February. You can see why I'm starting to get impatient! I want her room on the move! and I can't do that until I've cleared out all the stuff that should be in the attick! Weeks are literally flying by and there is loads left to do/buy/organise! Ahhh!

Have spent lots of the weekend lying on the sofa watching my tummy move - literally "crawling" as she moves around as well as the full on jumps when she kicks. Its so weird but great! DH also thinks its great but keeps referring to the film Alien! Haha!

Waiting impaitently for FIL and S-MIL to get home now so we can go home! I ready to relax on my own sofa now and get away from teenage boys! Plus it would've been nice to maybe pop into Mothercare and buy a treat today! Haha!

Right then girls, advice needed - I'm supposed to be a bridesmaid for a friend from uni in April 2011. My friend is having a bit of a bitch today saying that she will need me to come and be measured so the dress can start being made (because she's "not buying them off the shelf" - definate dig at me as that's what I did) in September because she can't leave it any later than that. Now a) Belle will be a only a few weeks old and I've no idea how well I'm going to be so soon after post bith. b) my body shape for measuring is hardly going to be accurate come the April afterwards.... What do I do? My gut instinct is to gently pull out of being a bridesmaid, I don't want to cause problems for her by being awkward, but I also don't want pressure put on me and made to feel awful being fitted at elephant shape for a dress when I expect I will be feeling exhausted and hormonal already.... This particular friend has been a bit of a cow since we announced our pregnancy (about 6 weeks after her engagement) - making it perfectly clear baby not welcome at wedding and to make sure my Mum was available that weekend (wedding an hour away from here), that id made it all awkward for timing of her bridesmaids preperations, and just in general that when we have getogethers and go and stay at their house that baby wouldn't be welcome there either. Now my opinion is that I come as a family now and I wont be leaving my baby at home every time I visit someone, and that baby will need to be put first. Especially as regards this dress measuring/fitting in September, she will be so tiny. Do I just say I won't be a bridesmaid? Ahhhhh! I hate falling out with people.....

Realistically, she doesn't sound very supportive so i would gently pull out. Use your mum as an excuse if you feel happier doing that. But anyone who is human is not going to be the same size a few weeks after the birth of their child as they will 6months later. It sounds like a lot of pressure on you, a lot of hassle on her so my gut feeling would be to step out of it.

Saying that, a teenage friend of mine is going to be bridesmaid 3 weeks - yes weeks!! after her baby is due but she is tiny, young and with only 10 weeks to go has only put on 12lbs which is just her bump

Well that didn't got very well - unfortunately this has all been done on MSN. I broached the subject as she said that she was really pushing it leaving it till Sept before starting to think about dresses. So I thought fair enough, here is a solution. and I wasn't being stroppy and tried to get that across to her.

Apparently I'm being selfish and so focussed on the baby that nothing else matters. She doesn't get at all that I'm trying to be kind by taking the pressure off her so she can plan her wedding without it having to be around my birth.

So anyway, its gotten quite wound up now and a little harsh (me included cuz she got really bitter and nasty towards me..) and she's signed off in a huff. Wish that hadn't happened on MSN. Like I said I hate falling out with people. Give it a few hours and then I will email her.

What is it about wedding and babies that get everyone so frazzled?!

Caz she sounds like a really nice friend . It sounds like its her wedding thats taking over life not your baby. Of course when baby is young she will have to go everywhere with you (most of the time anyway) esp if you are BFing. She is totally out of order saying your baby is not welcome at her house! At the dress fitting, yes, it probably would be good if you could leave the baby with your mum for a couple of hours, but if that is not possible it should be ok with her. You are right you are a package now, if she doesn't like that then she is not a good friend.

As for the dress fitting (altho I think it is irrelevant as the issue really is whether you want to be friends with this person at all), you would be fine being fitted in Sept because of course your shape will change massively but any talented dressmaker will be able to accommodate that. I bought my dresses 'off the shelf' , one was a size 14 but the bridesmaid in question was a size 10 by the wedding day! Her mum took it in no problem from 14 to 10 and it looked great. The dressmaker will probably not even need to measure you in Sept, she could make a start on the other dresses, it is just your friend being a cow. Is she a friend from the old days and you have drifted apart a bit? Like I said previously my best friend from sixth form fell out with me last year because of my FB statuses, but actually of course it wasn't anything to do with FB, she just felt we had drifted apart (er, yeah, she moved to Australia) and wanted to 'end things' so used that as an excuse I think. Sounds like your friend is being so obnoxious that maybe there is something going on under the surface...?

caz I was a bridesmaid 5 wks after dd2 was born and didn't look too horrific in the photos!

Even though it was a 'no kids' wedding we had the option to bring her though left her with my mum in the end. Other people had babies with them- one because her baby refused to drink from a bottle so she had to bf it.

If your friend is being so unreasonable that she won't have a small baby at the wedding she doesn't sound worth bothering about.

I had to go for dress measuring at about 4 months pg - even though I felt it was a bit pointless but the shop said they would adjust the dress the week before the wedding. In the end the shop went bankrupt so my friend bought me a dress from coast in a size 18 I think- am normally a 14 and another friend adjusted it.

neenz your more than likely right, we have definately drifted over the last couple of years and there are definately many issues under the surface.

I can pinpoint it back to my own engagement to be honest - where after the initial congratulations I was often made to feel like I had "taken her turn" with lots of comments such as her and her bf having been together longer and she wasn't engaged and it wasn't fair etc. I ignored it and didn't openly pay attention but I definately felt the atmosphere change between us from then onwards. It was a simular thing after we announced baby, intial congratulations and then all those sorts of baby will be in the way type comments. Tbh we've gone from speaking almost every day to hardly at all since our wedding (she was bridesmaid for me)and then announcing baby.

The last couple of years of drifting I have put down to jealousy on her part and me ignoring the issues and burying my head in the sand. I'm sure a lot of it is to do with insecurities with her bf (now fiance) - he's cheated a number of times and she keeps staying with him. From the day we got engaged she went on and on at him to buy a her ring. So anyway, he finally did in October and when DH asked him what finally made him 'do it' the answer was "I better had, we've been together so long now and everyone else is getting married". So yeh her own relationship insecurities play a huge part I reckon.

It also hasn't helped that DH doesn't like her (and she doesn't like him!) and thinks she treats me (and him) like crap. She is horrible to him (again only since he proposed, everything was fine before that!) and often makes snide remarks directed at him which DH ignores for my sake cuz I don't handle confrontation very well. So anyway, get togethers had become awkward because of this cuz I'm always smarting that she can't respect that he is my husband but trying to keep the peace. I'm sure there is a lot of bitterness on her part and a lot of hurt on mine. Although I'm sure her opinion on the whole matter would be a completely different side to the story.

Your right - remembering all of this, I don't know how or why we are still 'friends'... keeping university memories I suppose. Anyway, since my last post we've sorta 'resolved' I'm no longer a bridesmaid and she 'understands why I cannot commit' I'm relieved to be honest, like a weight has been lifted - I won't have the guilt either way now of letting people down, or worse letting my baby down and Belle will have my full attention like she needs/deserves in the Autumn. I'm sure she'll understand in time when she is about to become a mother for the first time.

Sorry to go on ladies - I feel a lot better for getting all that off my chest!

I agree caz, she is being completely out of order & doesn't sound like a very nice person tbh, think you have def done the right thing.

Thankyou neenz, I will have a look at the books & start researching slings, 2 friends have offered to lend me theirs but haven't got a clue which kind they are!

Hi ladies - well I finally caught up on everyone's news from last week. It was quite an eventful week wasn't it!

I'd also quite favour the FB group being private if at all possible. Most of my friends aren't on it and most people on there who I do know are not my confidants exactly.

Caz - I am glad you've managed to reach some kind of equilibrium with your friend. Weddings don't bring out the best in people! All I wanted at mine was for people to have a great day and enjoy it and therefore allowing them to do whatever was best for them re childcare (ie bring children don't bring them as they fancied) was the best way to achieve that! But then I didn't have any bridesmaids, wasn't "given away", refused to even walk down an aisle or any of that stuff and our aim was to make it as realaxing and fun for everyone (including ourselves) as possible.

What is it with friends being awkward at the moment> Coffeelady you have my sympathies - my friend and I are also falling out over a mixing business with friendship scenario. We thought we would be the exception to the "never mix" rule but can't agree on anything at the moment. To be fair we are both just at different point in our lives and have different agendas right now but she is not one to compromise and I am not one to take kindly to someone trying to bully me which is what I feel she is doing right now. We own an investment property together and she is obsessed with profit profit profit as she wants to retire in 10 years time (much longer off for me alas!) to the point where I think she is not being a good landlord and she thinks I am overly soft with the tenants. We got into it by phone on Friday and then she followed up by email too insisting that we meet up this coming week to discuss options as she is not prepared to wait "weeks" to discuss it fully (I had said that I wanted to wait until next week as DH is going away with work for 3 weeks and I want to spend this week with him and also there is quite a lot to get ready for a 3 week trip away - is that unreasonable> I have often had to wait 2-3 weeks for her to be available due to after schoool clubs taking up her time with her kids etc etc).

I had to stop myself from reminding her that if she annoys me too much I could make life very difficult for her with regard to this business (withholding my signature etc) because I don't want to be like that but she sure pushed my butttons! She has also been different since I met my DH. We have had a lot of trust in each other over this business and her trust in me just seems to have disappeared since I met DH. There is no good reason for this other than that it was all a bit of a whirlwind romance and marriage but we have been together a while now and you just need to look on MN to see that being married to someone for 15 years (like she has) is no guarantee that the OH will behave honourably in the event of a realationship breakdown.

Alice & others you are freaking me out with you lists of things to achiver by 30 weeks etc. I will be 30 weeks NEXT WEEK! And I have done none of that. Still have the antique bed in the nursery although we have chosen the paint! We are going to the baby show at the NEC in mid may so hoping to finally make a decision on nursery furniture there. There are 3 sets that I like but Tutti Bambini is my favourite but I have only seen pictures. Luckily they are exhibiting at the baby show so I can check the build quality and then either go with them or revert to my second choice (either mamas and papas or Kub depending on which has the best deal).

So far have got

co-sleeper cot
tons of onsies, baby-grows, vests and a few cute outfits, scratch mits and sockies
pram (mamas and papas) - donated by family
Car seat (mamas and papas) - donated by family
changing mat,
newborn nappies
breast pads
maternity pads
lansinoh
tea tree oil
baby wipes
about 12 second hand reusable nappies of varying brands to experiment with (going to buy new bambinex half set)
play mat
grobag
ergo sling (ordered)

Aussi i have only got lists, you have loads of stuff!!!

Although DH and i went into Cambridge this afternoon (it was madness!) and picked up some more bits.

I know lots of people hate Primark (i love it!) but they have got some very nice baby stuff in at the moment. We got the baby a pack of 3 sleeveless vests for £2, and they had some sweet pyjamas and babygrows there too. We found their stuff lasted quite well when DD had it. I also got myself a sports bra as i am finding all mine have got uncomfortable recently and want to give it a couple more weeks before i buy feeding bras.

We picked up some nappies in Boots, as they had the size 1 (up to 11lb) 2 packs of 24 for £3, so that is nappies sorted.

Also spoilt DD we got her a box of Duplo and a paddling pool.

I am exhausted and still have the horses to do