DUE SEPTEMBER 2010: SECOND TRIMESTER ALREADY!

[Love2Dance]

Hellooooo? Anyone there? Night ZZZzzz.

Hi everyone!

Such an interesting thread and I am glad someone brought up the topic about going back to work. I am expecting my first, have been working for 15 years so this will be a big (and much wanted) change for me. Very interesting to see how other people felt going back after their first.

I told my boss yesterday and my coworkers today and am so relieved the cat is out of the bag. At least I can focus on what needs to happen in the next 6 months and I don't have to keep making excuses for yawning and feeling poorly! Am still waiting for the second trimester bloom to kick in

13 weeks today!

Hi

Welcome to all the new ones , glad alls going well elsewhere.

Haven´´t been on for ages as Ive had some relatives over to stay so been busy with that.

A neighbour stopped me in the street to congratulate me yesterday, and I hadn´´t even mentioned it. So I take it Im definatly showing now.

Hi everyone, have been following the thread but not posted for ages. Great to hear everyone's good news and progress.

Just a few thoughts about returning to work - well my experience anyway. There really is no right or wrong thing to do and realising that and not beating yourself up about whatever you decide to do (or have to do) is half the battle.

I went back to work after 5 months with my first son as it fitted best and easiest with my job at the time. I went full time and did the whole juggle of expressing breast milk and mad dashes home at lunch time for feeds.

My DH took 6 months off to look after our son following my mat leave and took that time to change jobs so that he no longer needed to work away. After a few months I was very unhappy with working full time and eventually was allowed to work 3 days a week.

My experience was that my DH and son made a really strong bond during their time together. There were times though when DH struggled with the mundane aspects of staying at home and doing childcare which sometimes led to tensions when a huge part of me would love to have been there to do the very things that he occasionally would struggle with.

My main learning point would be to ignore what's best for your job/career/easiest for your employer if that's not you truly want. Their childhood goes by so quickly that it's a precious fleeting moment to savour. Having said that my DS is now 3 and in some ways I need/would love to be on maternity leave now more than ever I as he's so much fun!

With this baby I want 2 years off despite the financial implications this has and the change in lifestyle that brings. I hope that's going to be achievable but you never know.

Sorry for such a long post - I guess the whole topic is pretty emotive and looming large for many of us.

15+0 Perth WA

hi all, not ignoring the topic of conversation, but i haven't been back to work since five months into my first pregnancy...in 2005... thankfully i dont have to , and i love staying at home and being a Full time Mum..sorry i cant contribute more, but am enjoying reading the problems ideas and possible solutions!!

Cant wait for the time LadyRabbit can tell us what she does

Hello Lovely Ladies, oh going back to work, it's such a tricky thing. I was meant to go back when my first was 10months old, I went back for about 3 days and hated it, I was still breastfeeding alot and just wasn't emotionally ready, I was waiting for an operation that was affecting my hearing so I was lucky in that I ended up getting signed off sick until after the operation which meant by the time I went back she was 16 months, which felt a lot easier , she was much more independant and I wasn't bf-ing anymore.
I still begrudge it most of the time though, I love being with my daughter so much. It has got easier and I've learnt to get on with it, but I struggle trying to do a full time job in two days and then juggle the rest of my life in it all.

I'm really hoping not to go back after this one but it will depend on if my partner can get a decent payrise as my wage pays our mortgage and we couldn't currently manage without it.

13+5

It does sound like such a dilemma to be in, and i think someone already said, its hard to 'plan' for it totally because you just dont know how you will feel, how things will work out, etc etc...maybe the best way is to have a few contingency plans that you can try and work into what your wants and needs are? - did that make sense?!

17wks

Jaysfourth my veil of secrecy is protecting a really mundane reality!! Just being careful that's all, and I already feel naughty telling everyone on here about the impending arrival when only DH and I know at the moment.

Sounds weird, but I've never felt like I have a career, IYSWIM, being self-employed you don't have bosses, raises to compete for etc., so I don't feel that kind of immediate workplace pressure. On the other hand, it's feast or famine and can make any long term planning difficult. I'll let you know how it's going in 9 months' time....

Oh look, I'm remembering to add up:

13+2

"It's feast or famine". Made me smile. I often describe my job like that. Either break neck speed, late night working and full on stress, or twiddling thumbs waiting for somethng to turn up!

On another note, did anyone watch "Women" last night? See the thread on MN too for some interesting (and heated) discussion. Looking forward to seeing "One Born every Minute" tonight too.

13+6

me too Love2dance! i can never get enough of labour and birth....strange isnt it!

Oh ye, "One Brn Every Minute" is my absolute tv highlight! saw last half of the Women prog last night - v interesting I thought though hardly dealt with the emotional side of it all.

Thanks for your advice Love2dance - probably have been doing a bit much! also cant sleep on my tummy as i used to any more as feels uncomfortable, so it couold be down to that too

really interesting about returning to work - i think i will have to go back after xmas so 3.5 months off but hope to see how i feel once twinkle is with us. hadny really considered the emotional side of things - have always thought that i am career minded but guess this may all change!

i have been avoidng "One born every minute" like the plague - bit terrified of the whole labour thing.... is the programme scary or does it ortray labour in a managable and realistic way?

will sky+ it tonight and brace myself for it!

Please can you take me off the list.
Wishing you all lots of luck.

Popsy1 I'm so sorry. Please take time to be kind to yourself. Best wishes for the future.

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dreamingaboutsleep I too got an early scan! My cycle when trying for ds was around 270 days!!!!!

Popsy1 So sorry. hope you're alright.

Work dilemma, I took 9 months with ds, going back to work when he was 8 months. No regrets but then I only work 3 days and he is minded by a very close friend. I am planning on taking a the full year with this one tho as we're not planning on having anymore so want to make the most of the time I can have with my babies!

Oh my goodness Popsy1 so very sorry to hear about your sad news. Wishing you well for the future x

So sorry Popsy1 Take care

Mmm work - the bane of my life! Part of me would love to stay at home. A very big part of me. I find it very difficult to balance the pressure of work with raising the boys. The thing is I live in a very rural area. I took a year out with DS2 and nearly lost my mind with the monotony by the end of it. More where I live than the full time mother bit. Just got so sick of our village and being so remote. I went back to work when DS1 was only 5 months (had to financially) I felt awful - cried for a few days. But he was grand. Funnily enough because I was going back to work I put a bit more effort into getting him into a suitable routine and keeping his sleeping pattern even etc. And to this day he is unbelievble! 7 t0 7 without a bother. I was more relaxed with DS2 and he didnt sleep regularly thru the night until he was 51 weeks old! He is still very easily put out of kilter.
Ideally i would love to work part time. Unfortunately this is not an option for me so instead I think I will spend my mat leave in counselling getting Cognitive behaviour therapy see if I can change how I feel about the whole work thing!!! Different perspective and all that! AT this stage will try anything!
My DS2 has def devloped an instinct that something is going on. Hes 2 and for about a week now he has reverted back to baby. Asks to be carried etc says that he is my baby and doesnt want to be a big boy! Arent they amazing how they pick things up?

Popsy1 - just saw your other thread on exampholos. My heart aches for you. You have had a difficult time of it. Just coccon for a while and take care of yourselves. I wish you courage and comfort, you must be weary at this stage. Every blessing for the future. x

Hi everybody! I'm not quite 2nd trimester yet but will get there soon!! I had my first scan today it was amazing!!! Like nothing I have ever experienced, both DH and I cried pretty much as soon as our little plum came up on screen! Definitely only one in there and it has everything it should have and nothing it shouldn't!!! It moved about so much, like a little ballerina! No idea if it's a boy or a girl yet though and my new due date is 30th September so clinging to Due In September by my finger nails!!! Hope everybody is well, much love Fifi and Plum! xx

Hi girls I'm new to Mumsnet, due 19th September and am just starting to let myself get excited after previous disappointments (been trying 4 years to get this far!)

Has anyone got a good pregnancy and birth book that they can recommend? My mum gave me a great one she used when having me, but it is over 30 years old and although I realise the basic process hasn't changed much, there's a lot in there about 'confinement' that just sounds so old-fashioned!

I'm also finding the NHS one that was in the Bounty pack a little condescending as well, and would prefer something that had a bit more information and a little less advice in there.

Thanks for any help you can give me!

Congratulations and welcome LucyLG!!! I am due on the 10th September!

i have got the Mirian Stoppard bookg (can't beat a bit or Miriam!) and 'Your Pregnancy Bible'. Both different, but both informative.

I had a MMC last year and when I was preg then I read ANYTHING I could get my hands on which was great, but found the list's of what not to eat so confusing! I am sure that if I put them all together I'd have lived on bread and water!! LOL! This time round I have just followed the NHS website advice. On on the Bounty packs, I just found that they were full of rubbish and didn't get one this time round.

MummyFiFi, I know how you feel, I had mine 2 weeks ago and it totally blew me away! Still never sank straight in that that little bubba was in my tummy though!!!! LOL! xxx

MammyG - my 3 year old has been exactly the same! Talking and acting like a baby, talking about her being a baby etc. She's been quite naughty since we broke the news to her, I try not to talk about it much in front of her, but other people are always mentioning it to her (do you want a baby brother or sister etc etc).
I don't really know what to do about it, people tell me about middle child syndrome???? I really hope she doesn't stay like this because she was such a good little girl & at the moment I'm struggling to cope with her behaviour!!

Any tips???

16+3

Popsy so sorry to hear your sad news.

Lucy I like the Sheila Kitzinger book. It's a little bit earth mother but it's good. Annoyingly I lent it to my friend and she's lost it, will have to get another.

MammyG my dd (who is also 2) is being the same, wanting lots of cuddles and to be carried a lot. She has also got obsessed with my 'boobies' and keeps asking to cuddle them. She has finally stopped asking to bf (we stopped that about 10 months ago) but she now either asks me to bf her doll or she bfs her doll instead. Very strange but I think it's normal for toddlers to get obsessed with boobs, isn't it?

I'm so sorry Popsy - hope you are okay.

Welcome LucyLG. I have quite a few books but the ones I always refer back to are Miriam Stoppard and Sheila Kitzinger (as others have already said). They both have a series of images showing the size of the baby/your belly every 4 weeks or so. I also have a huge (worthy-looking) book called 'Birth and Beyond' by Dr Yehudi Gordon, and 'pregnancy and birth' by Janet Balaskas and Yehudi Gordon.

I guess what books you read depend on what sort of birth you want and what your expectations are. The ones I have are all very 'earth-mothery' and promoting natural childbirth as far as possible (though all are sensible and have plenty of advice for when things aren't going to plan and what your options are etc). I've been lucky enough to have two straightforward drug-free births, one at home and one nearly at home, and I definitely think a lot of my ways of coping with labour were from things I'd picked up in those books.

The Mumsnet Pregnancy book has lots of useful info too!

I hate Emma's Diary with a passion

Swordfishtrombones have you seen 'the gentle birth method'? If you like earth mother-y, you might like this. I found it needed a bit too much commitment (you can't eat deadly nightshades, bananas or cake - yes cake, who's going to give up cake when they're pregnant??) and you had to have a complimentary therapy every week. But I think I probably would have tried it if I were richer, more organised and less greedy.