Due Jan 2010 - the final countdown and singing Auld Lang Syne to our bumps

[CantThinkofFunnyName]

Last thread nearly full - so here goes - our last hurdle....

Quick one on swine fllu jab: it is not useless to have it near the due date because if you breastfeed (even a little, even only the first 2/3 days) the baby will receive the antibodies you have built, including, if you have had the jab, antibodies for swine flu. Given children cannot be vaccinated until 6 months and that our babies will be around 6 months by summer, that also means a much reduced risk of the newborn getting swine flu.
I say "you", but personally have had swine flu vaccine 3 weeks ago (the one shot version, so it would be active faster), as well as the normal flu vaccine in October. As it happens I am in one of the high risk categories, so have been vaccinated for the past 20 years or so, but would have gone for both even if I had been healthy.

shiney sorry to hear about your boiler. I guess MN makes you realise there is always someone in a worse situation. I feel bad for moaning really.

Lottie can you say someone has been hassling you on FB and you've had to cancel your account, then just delete your MIL & up your privacy settings so she can't see you? Sounds like a bit of a 'mare. FB is great for so many things, but situations like this make it a bit of a double edged sword.

oh no sockmonkey we will survive, moan away, thankgod it's only the hot water not the heating. Anyway life is really good a bit more money and it would be perfect .

londonlottie your MIL appears to be a very controlling woman, my exdp was like this always demanding to know who so and so were. personally i would remove her from FB to limit what she has access to though i hear there are new settings on it so you could limit her to what she can see on yur facebook! if you block her completely you can tell her you are no longer on FB as she will no longer be able to find you at all. she will be none the wiser.
my own mum when i was preggers at 29 with my first told me i was high risk for Downs! she is very competitive and likes to do everything better than me. i had no stretchmarks after the first (still dont) and she responded with ''well i had three kids'' so you can imagine alot of tongue biting at my end!
but wiht the MIL front it is best you lay some ground rules otherwise she is going to be like this for the rest of your life!! let her know you will not take her crap even if it means upsetting her a little! it is easier said than done i know. >

oh i was high risk for Downs according to my mum as i was ''middleaged'' just becasue she had me at 18 and resented me for it my whole life! i was also damaged good and a slut throughout my while teenage life, yes i had a loving mother! of course it was all while my family were not within earshot so i appear to be some looney making up stories about my wicked mum! she is quite the actress my mother as well as a strong minded manipulator! but i could write a book on her!

lottie your MIL is beyond belief !!! OK I want to murder DP's mother for being a consistently evil vile and selfish bitch and I hae pretty much lost contact with my whole family except for my very cool aunt. So much so that even my mother doesn't know I am pregnant yet... However, I get the feeling of obligation that comes with impending arrivals and trying to do what is right. With DP's mother I wrote her cards sent her photos took DD to visit so many times even though she lives about 8 hours away.. and tbh it made her worse. Every time she would shout orders at me, criticise, and it was beyond horrendous when DD got ill and afterwards. So I am definitely excluding her this time, she has had plenty of chances

Sorry, bit of an off-topic rant there, I have to say if I were in your position I would try and keep her at arms length for a while after the girls are born as you settle into a routine etc. It would be awful to have someone like that flying in when you've just had twins. I would continue to reply to her, politely, if just for future world peace, but I would do as was suggested and only reply in general terms and only answer the questions you want to answer. She should get the hint, but it may take a few replies from you for her to realise.

As for facebook..... scary....!!! Can you hack in and shut down her account?!

alibobins sorry to hear about your DD poor little thing, must be a very scary and unsettling time for her and for you. I hope they can treat it effectively.
Well done for keeping that baby in!!!

The race is on... CTOFN v Lottie v Alibobins...

can you imagine if not any of the three are next??? could be a surprise!!! i doubt it will be me though, sods law i will be late!

It's weird being an internet forum/cyberspace and all that but we're becoming like a lovely little family aren't we? Aaaahhhhhhh....

OK, CTOFN has now finally lost the plot. Wish we all lived closer together so we could meet up post bubs (boo hoo)....

I agree with bethoo it would be very interesting if it was someone else to go next .

londonlottie

Learn from my mistake ...

I have a Mil & 3 Sil's from hell. They are like the Mafia and come in a group (or pack )!
For 16 years I have tried not to offend, did what pleases, bit my tounge and where did that get me? Every special occasion in my life has been tarnished with their demands or just generally spoiling it by being them. (they are a bit on the rough side).
One of many examples - when DS was born the WHOLE family would decend, 11 of them, take him out the moses basket and pass him round and round and round again like a toy. Never asked.
I let them!! .

Christmas day is the same, all 11 of them demand to come round in the morning/afternoon so they are 'all together'. Ive never been forgiven by my Mil for having xmas dinner with my mum and stepdad every year (they'd be on their own otherwise) and god help me if I argued Id like a quiet family xmas.

DON'T let this vile woman think she can do these things to you.
Treat her like she treats you, say exactly how you feel, question her....ie -
"why did you think it necessary to question my male friend on FB"?
Is that not what she would have done?

Everytime you think she is being rude or inappropriate - tell her.

What have you to loose? Always remember that. Wish I had/could!

Also, she needs to know you are strong and she cant get away with it from the start.
She has to think twice about dealing with you and not feel free to say/do as she pleases.

Life's too short to care about the people who don't care about our feelings.

Oh how I wish I could take my own advice!

can't Ive decided to change my sweepstake from Londonlottie to you, then ali then Lottie!

Let's not forget Shinybaubles everyone - she actually has her c/s booked for 1 week and 6 days time!!!! If anything happens with her, that c/s will be brought forward

On another note - I cannot stop vomitting (tmi) - don't feel ill, it's just a movement thing, ie bending over, heartburn etc ... urgh.

Lotte - if makes you feel any better, when was discussing with my mum the other week about how long I'd stay in hospital post baby, she was surprised i was expecting it to only be a couple of nights at most as "Won't they want to keep an eye on you, being an older mother?" - I'm 30.

FPCT that is something my mum would come out with, i have also had ''wont you stop bf dd now you are pregnant?'' but then i was middled aged at 29, far too late to start a family!

I'm sorry to hear about all of you with PIL's and families from hell, I have to say I'm spoilt with mine. Unfortunately DH has just called to say that his dad has most probably got bone cancer. He still has to get an mri scan but it's pretty conclusive - he recovered from throat cancer several years ago. I have managed not to 'be hormonal' all pg and am now a soggy mess. Sorry to be depressing, but it doesn't look good and I have no-one else to talk to about it as he doesn't want anyone here to know.
Ali I'm sorry to hear about your dd, but I hope something is able to be done to save the sight in her eye. It must be a terrible worry.
Shiny, why so expensive for the boiler? That is horrendous!

lottie re Mil I've had this recently with my MiL, me and DH think she has jealousy issues with pregnancy as she's been really nasty to both her daughters and other DiL when they were pregnant too. Me and DH have talked about how to deal with it and have decided that he will answer all communication with her until she learns to behave. Whatever happens between DH and MiL has to be DH's decision and as such I've officially butted out. I've already disowned my Dad this year, so can't be arsed dealing with DH's family issues too.

CTOFN I agree it is a shame we all don't live locally to each other, we seem to have a great support system going on, still at least we have MN.

I think I might have to start checking MN in the evening too, looks like things are going to start moving with some of you soon.

hi all

just jumped on quick, and there are 3 pages from yesterday. wow you lot can chat.

cant what are you playing at my money was on ali now i'm not sure. enjoy dds nativity.

With regards the eating, I am off to an all you can eat chinese as a works lunch, don't be jealous I will stuff my self silly and then proceed to the couch all evening.

If I can roll off the couch later I'll check in then

ttfn

ali I hope they can manage to save your daughter's eyesight - I'll be thinking of you.

*londonlottie - oh my god - maybe you should have another FB account - keep one for friends and one for family.

Fraochsmum sorry to hear your news - hope he makes a full recovery.

Am feeling uncomfortable now. Keep telling myself 'only 5 weeks to go' but actually, that's bloody ages!!

How quickly does this thread move?????

Ali - keep us updated re. your DD, am hoping it all works out ok. It must be very stressful for you all, but you manage to sound very positive on here!

CTFN - Ohhhh, how exciting! Hope the nativity is lots of fun and baby stays put.

MrsMB - you and Thomas sounds as though you are doing great. Well done him for alreadt feeding for 20 mins!

Shiny - on the boiler cost!

Lottie - Goodness me, your MIL sounds certifiable! I would second what others are saying on here - you need to clearly tell her everytime she acts inappropriately. She has a clear problem with boundaries, but unless people tell her where she is overstepping the mark, how will she ever learn?
And definitely keep her away until you and the twins are settled. You do not want her around in the early weeks/ few months.

Fraoch - I am so very sorry for you and your family, what really tough news to receive. Please dont think you are alone though - a lot of the charities out there are superb, Macmillan in particular are amazing. I think the hardest thing about a situation like this is the waiting..and even when the docs do talk to you, you realise that they dont even know that much. All I will say is that every person is different and the treatments do work for some people out there. Maybe your FIL is one of them...
If you want to talk to me about this, then let me know...I have been through this rollercoaster with someone very close to me.

Everyone - re the virtual family/ meet ups. It is possible, I met up with a bunch of my sept 07 mnet antenatal thread. And I am really good friends with one or two of them. I basically set up a new email account which I was happy to post online. Everyone then emailed real life details through (as much as they wanted) - real life names, location (i.e. surrey/ nw London), mobiles and email addresses. This then got sent out to everyone on the thread. We also picked text buddies so that there was someone to post on our behalf once LO's arrived.

Am on maternity leave, totally sorted on Xmas/ new baby front, so am happy to coordinate again if people are up for it??? DH will be ever so grateful, anything to keep me away from the shops.

I enjoy coming on here and it keeps me sane not everyone wants to hear about shows piles and other moans

froachsmum sorry your having to go through this and remember we are here for you x

Fraochsmum sorry to hear about your fil. You can come here and talk about it whenever you like. T
The boiler cost is partially because it's a special one that attaches to it's own meter a night one on a very cheap rate that is only for boilers - not a normal night tariff. And secondly because this is Belgium and even paint here is 3x the cost of paint in the UK - it's certainly not cheaper living on the continent.
ctofn lol I would love to go earlier - but I think it is not going to happen. Although I would really love to have a small labour so I know what it feels like.

I met some idiot today who said oh well you have the easy way out having a csection, hmm not really a choice and being sliced open is major surgery . Feel a bit like a failure with a body that can't even get the baby head down - a wonky uterus and small pelvis that they don't even think this small baby would get out - bloody amazing considering I am very hippy.

Well it will prob be me next my waters broke about 10 mins ago

wow, goodluck alibobins let us know how it goes, I hope you have a bouncing baby soon.

Mistletoe - I'd be really happy to go down the route you suggested for RL details/meet ups etc. If you want to coordinate, again v happy! Will be nice for Lottie, Shiny and I in particular to have someone to text to announce the arrivals of LOs as none of us, presumably, will have access to internet for a little while.

Ali - so sorry, I have not mentioned your DD earlier - cross posts etc. Like everyone else here, sending lots of cyber hugs, healing powers etc and just hope that everything gets sorted asap for you.

Fraoch - oh my dear, what a horrid thing to be going through at any time, let alone at this stage of your pregnancy. As others have said, we are all here to support you in any way we can.

SixMincePies - hope your work lunch was fab and you are now well and truly stuffed!!

And for all those of you with parent or PIL issues - ... so sorry for you. Like Fraoch, I'm really lucky with my MIL, although this is my 3rd marriage and I have had my fair share of monsters!! My current MIL is just wonderful and I really love and admire her as a person and feel privileged to be a part of her family.

Have I missed anyone? Apologies if I have. Going to order Chinese takeaway this evening as feel a lazy mare after late night maternity episode yesterday!