Due November 2009: Second trimester thread!

[turtle23]

New thread for you as it was geting a bit big...

Spotty teenage look for the past few weeks. I have come across Avon clearskin cleansing pads. They smell horrific but seem to do the job of keeping some of the blighters away!

Hello ladies

Can't remember who said what now so will just ramble on!

My ds will be 4 in Nov (we obviously only have one shag a year on valentines!! ) and is constantly asking if it's his birthday yet and is he 4. Have no idea what I'm going to do about his party. Last year we did a joint one with a friend a couple of weeks before, so I might do that again.
Dd was 3.5 weeks early though so there's no real planning these things!
Both my dc's are born on the 11th, and my wedding day was the 11th (coincidence rather than planned) so I am wondering if this one might be born on ds' birthday - not sure how well that would go down

Am flying at 20 weeks and then again at 30 weeks. My travel insurance for the first flight was checked thoroughly and covers me up to 26 weeks (whoever was asking!). My 30 week flight is internal so no insurance worries, but I will have to get a note from the mw/gp to fly as am over 28 weeks. Each airline has it's own policy.

ninja Milk that's the only thing that I find calms my acid reflux, works a treat and is good for you. Skimmed doesn't quite hit the mark, but semi-skimmed is fine.
Funny, my dd's dad was a violent pita too - guess there's quite a few of us who find ourselves in tough situtations when we're young. How good are we though to have made it out the other side with lovely families

Starting to get pain in my legs and buttocks when I walk. Anyone else feel this? It's a familiar feeling and didn't cause me too much worry when I was last pg, but it really did hurt this morning and I was limping when I was at the shops. I feel it more when I'm pushing the buggy, or doing lots of walking. I had back pain in my last pg, which hasn't surfaced yet, I don't do a desk job anymore, and I'm more active so hoping it will keep the pain at bay. The joys!

There seem to be loads of us that already have a DC born in November - how strange. It must be the Valentine's effect as you say scarlotti.

It is starting to thunder here. I hate thunder.

Welcome Contessa!

What ever happened to our resident man on this thread? I wonder how his wife and her twins are doing?

Hi!

I forget (SORRY!) who asked about smells and tastes... I had to change hair products/shower gel/handwash and toothpaste several times until I found ones that I could stomach.
I'd had fruity smelling ones (Aussie hair and Natural Source Lemon shower gel) and I ended up gagging constantly every time I had a shower. Once I swapped to less "offensive" ones, I was ok. Same with the toothpaste. I still don't really like brushing my teeth and put it off if I can (before I was pregnant I'd happily brush 3-4 times a day!) as it does make me feel yuck. ANYWAY - my point was - that with all this I discovered that Simple moisturizer suits my (pregnant?) skin much better than Dermalogica, so at least it'll save me heaps of cash!

Ninja I get acid-reflux and have found sleeping propped up on two pillows so that I'm almost sitting helps. I also drink gallons of milk.

Laugs I'll be flying with Easyjet on the 18.06 (as long as all goes well at the scan!) so will let you know what they say - I'm not planning on taking a Dr's note as I'll only be 20 weeks and it says on their website that you only need it once you're 26 or 27. Another thing - I'm really confused about the whole anti-D thing now. I was bleeding pretty much constantly until I was 14-15 weeks, and they obviously knew I was 0-. Nobody said anything at all about having an injection. I've just called DH and told him to go and get his bloodgroup checked. I tried asking MIL who said "oh, I'm sure he's normal".

Katster oooh, poor you! Hope you can have a couple of days off work and recuperate. I don't want to scaremonger, but please don't over-do it with a chest infection. A few years ago I had a really bad cold but as it was super-busy at work, I didn't take time off and worked over-time instead. It developed into sinusitis and then went into my chest. I STILL didn't take any time off and ended up with Pleurisy. As they say, it takes far longer to get better if you don't give your body time to rest.

Nothing much to report. I keep falling asleep early evening for an hour or two as I seem to be shattered all the time, but last night I was awake til 3AM with the bean bouncing around so much that I couldn't sleep! (I was happy though, s/he was really quiet the day before, so it was nice to "check in".)

Welcome to contessa! scarlotti - can i ask who your travel insurance is with? I need to get a new policy and have been getting quotes online but there is no mention of pregnancy.
laugs i looked into pregnancy yoga too as really like the sound of it. The one i saw you could do any time from 14 weeks. Unfortunately mine wouldn't take me due to mc history . If your class is more related to birth then probably best to leave it as long as you can. I'm very jealous!!

Thanks for the milk tip. Despite groeing up on a dairy farm I hate drinking milk so have bought a few gallons of strawberry milk from sainsburys and that's helping more than the gavascon. Sainsburys chocolate coated ginger biscuits do NOT help, will put them on the nono list from now on. Toast is a nono also. Will try bananas next and see if they stay down.

I actually had to swig gavascon during a work meeting today

DH is convinced it is stress so he has taken dp to his swimming lesson so I can rest.

(growing)

Welcome Contessa

ninja any type of milk drink helps me - strawberry milk sounds yum! Am sure mine is worse when I'm rushing around and stressed too so your DH might be right.

grace can't remember but I will check when I get home and let you know. I read the fine print of so many online to make sure!

Welcome to Contessa! Grace I know you didn't ask me , but my travel insurance is with the Post Office, it's world wide cover and as long as I'm back by the end of the 31st week I'm covered.

Just called MW to ask about anti-d. She (someone new again, I've seen/spoken to a different person every time!) seemed surprised that I hadn't been told about the injection while I was bleeding. She also said they wouldn't test DH's blood (and added that most people would know their bloodgroup anyway if they'd ever donated blood...) but that he could ask the GP to do it. DH spoke to GP who said they don't test, but might do if referred by a midwife. MW then told me the old chestnut (although she did apologize in advance for sounding rude) that they couldn't always take the mum's word for who the dad is...

I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry.

Thanks for the reassuring bump messages everyone! I feel like I have waited so long for one I should be enjoying it now it's here!

Katster poor you! really hope you are feeling better soon, take it easy and don't worry about work.

Grace/Laugs I really wanted to got to aquanatal, as I love swimming but need a time to go to make me if you see what I mean! Unfortunately, the sessions round here are both at 9.30 am which is tricky with working. Maybe for m/l for a couple of sessions.

I went to an active birth yoga group the other day. It was really good and is just on a week to week basis so can go as and when 'til lo is here. I found the visualisation bits good cos they reminded me I am pregnant and there is a baby in there! Can recommend it.

I started bleeding again yesterday and completely freaked out. I had convinced myself the last episode was related to what forever will be known as "Scarlotti's problem" - sorry Scarlotti!!! , and as that has been treated I knew this was something else. Luckily labour ward told me to go in and they heard hb and had a look and think it is my cervix and unrelated to baby. Has anyone else had this? They said I might bleed on and off but it is likely to be fine. Can't wait for 20 week scan in 2 weeks now.

Fruitpastels I have had a bit of sciatica type pain, but it comes and goes with no warning and doesn't seem to stay long so I hope it goes for you too.

Hope everyone is having a good day

Welcome Contessa67 I am from Finchley so not very far from you!
26.5 weeks
29.5 and 32 weeks. I am making sure I have doctors letter each time as bound to be huge!

Just realised as you lot have been talking about it so much that I have not been drinking any milk at all! I used to have at least 2 cups when pg with ds. Need to start! It?s supposed to be so good for pregnant ladies?

off to face the crowds on the only tube line tthat seem to work properly today! Wish me luck!

oops. I meant to say i will be flying at 26, 29 and 31 weeks!

I am sorry but can anybody explain to me why we need special insurance for pregnancy? My current account came with one of those free europe travel cover but god knows where that is!

Broodzilla poor you having pleurisy. Did it take long to recover? My aunt had it and she was so ill. Will definitely take it easy. The problem is, all our assessment data for SATs needs to be in by Friday so I feel like I should go back Friday, although Head said I am NOT to come in tomorrow so will have a restful day.

Pavlov thanks for the info - we are going to cite the Data Protection Act - really helpful. I really feel they have tried to screw us over on this, especially as if they had told us the T and Cs when we initially rang up, we could have brought the flights forward and travelled earlier in the pregnancy....

BeckyBL yes - it was a bit of a drama!! Felt like a complete tool lying on the foyer floor surrounded by adults, and then someone else escorting the children past saying 'Don't look, children, straight outside, nothing to look at here!'

DH came home and has been watching the tennis. Not sure he gets all this pregnancy/illness drama really!

Pootle how scary for you. But I think I read that most 2nd trimester bleeding is caused by cervix things rather than baby things? And sounds like you were thoroughly checked over. Is just so terrifying, isn't it. Hope you are resting too.

Hi Koumak

Is this your first? Do you know what it is yet?

On the subject of insurance, I flew to the US at 15 weeks and ny travel insurerers (insure and go) said you don't need special cover until 32 weeks or so...

PTF I have an ectropian (internal cells growing externally) on my cervix which causes bleeding. It is hormonal and may go away on its own accord or can be removed with laser surgery after birth if it's causing any problems. Don't know if that's any thing like you have? TMI alert it also causes a lot of very yellow mucus discharge.

Would any one mind if I asked some advice? I should probably put it on the parenting board but I trust you lot. Tell me to go else where if it's really inappropriate.

DS is 12. He is having problems with his dads new family (step dp with 3sdc's)
Ex moved to Welshpool at christmas (6hr round trip) and I supported ds in visiting and drove him there and back two of the three times he has been to visit. DS has complained of bullying from eldest boy but ex says he has asked eldest boy and that there is no problem (he downloaded £40 of porn on to ds's phone on ds's first visit and all gone south since then).
Ds is refusing to take even a phone call from his dad because he feels unsupported and that he is being made out to be a liar.
Ex thinks ds should be made to talk to him and is calling at 8 tonight. Ds is adamant he will not talk. Dp and I think we should support ds but assure him the door is always open for him to talk to/see his dad whenever he wants.
Are we doing the right thing? I know I'm going to get a lot of verbal tonight if ds won't talk and ex won't talk to dp so feel really alone and dp is upset because he cant sort it out for me.

Ninja sounds like you are doing exactly the right thing. You can't make DS speak to his Dad, especially at 12 and when he obviously feels v strongly about how he is being treated. Poor DS I hope he is OK. Think you will have to explain calmly to Ex that you can't make DS speak to him and maybe he should come round to yours alone, to speak face to face? I know it's a 6 hr round trip, but it is ex that moved... Sorry, hope that doesn't sound blunt. Hope it works out and doesn't end up being too stressful for you.

Koumak I guess because if we end up birthing the beans abroad it might get veeeeery expensive (US springs to mind...) and the insurance companies like to get away with not paying for things, so some don't cover pregnancies or related illnesses. I guess also, should the airline refuse to admit us onto the plane back - how would we cover living expenses until due date abroad?

Shuddering at whoever had to sign a waiver to take financial responsibility if anything happened on the flight! I wonder what it would cost if they had to make an emergency landing or something?

Ninja may I offer my opinion?
The way I see it, even if your DS is NOT telling the truth (arguably, he could've made it all up and downloaded the stuff himself) if that's the case, he must have very good reasons for not wanting to go see his dad.
Or, he is telling the truth, in which case it sounds like a horrid situation for him to be in and he should not under any circumstances be made to put up with it against his will.

Either way, as far as I'm concerned, what ACTUALLY happened is neither here nor there. It sounds like he doesn't want to see/speak to his dad, and your ex sounds like a twerp for insisting his son should be "made to speak to him". If he is genuinely concerned and wanting to spend time with his son, surely he could make the trip (albeit a long one) and come over to spend a day with him so that they could talk in peace (away from the new family) and do something nice?
I don't envy your ex, must be awful to be in his position too, between his new family and his son where he must be seen to be "taking sides" whatever he does...

Having said that, your son is only 12. His dad is the adult and should act like one. Even if you somehow managed to "make" your DS speak to his dad, I doubt very much that it would make the situation/their relationship any better!

Apologies for the long "opinion" but things like this really get my goat. (I grew up with two lots of step parents and families, it that gives me any sort of qualifications to speak on the subject.)

Um, and also wanted to say good on you for being there for your son! (And your DP sounds lovely!)

Hi all, still haven't caught up with you, can everybody please just stop talking?

I must ask this as I read about cats earlier: two cats belonging to our neighbours have made my tiny garden into their toilet. It stinks. I've tried about four different sprays and powders, I have a few plants that are supposed to scare them off - they just take the piss (literally and metaphorically). They've actually put me off cats for good and I hate them (sorry cat-lovers). Any ideas how I can get rid of the stinkers without buying a gun? Thanks.

Back to reading.

ninja you are doing totally the right thing and you have the right attitude I agree. Let your ds have control of the situatioon. My parents split up when I was 8 and I went through phases of not wanting to see my dad at his new home with his new family for various reasons. I think the best thing to do is let your DS take the lead in this; forcing him to talk to or see his father, as your ex suggests, will only make him feel misunderstood by you as well as his dad and I think if he is saying the eldest boy is treating him badly then there could well be some substance in it. Of course the older boy is likely to deny it. I agree with Broodzilla that if your ex is concerned about seeing his son he should make the effort to come to see him or take him away for a weekend just the two of them. My dad used to do that; we had a few weekends away and I really enjoyed it as I could build a relationship with him separate from the step mother and step brothers and all that baggage.

skorpion - water pistol! You might have to sit on watch though with it, behind a bush but cat's hate, hate, hate being squirted with a water pistol.

sleepless & Laugs I am full of something .

Talking of tea parties. I might know law a little (not much) but I do not know how to organise myself when my DH is involved. I tried to do so much today and all he has done has got in the way! I am trying to sort out stuff for his birthday and he is always there [grrrr]. He says its because he does not want me to be worn out and he does not mind no surprises, but not just about the surprises, I would actually have got more done if he was not there . AND there are no surprises. He won't let me bake a cake. We will buy one from a deli and cover in strawberries that we are going to pick tomorrow. But I wanted to make cake . He was really patronising in the shop, put his arm round me and said 'sweetheart, you got to know your limits' and walked me away from the bakery section like I was a loon .

But on the good side, I got DHs present, I got my hair done (had lights put in, and a bloody great haircut if I don't mind saying myself) without being sick and my Dr gave me another week off work. YEY.

Sorry, long as usual. Will respond to the other posts when I finished reading.

Evening all.

Ninja - my parents split when i was 13, went to see my Dad a few times but he never madeany effort to spend time with us, my mum always encouraged the relationship but i made the deision after a while that i didn't want to go, she supported me in this but never said anything against my Dad (tho he's a complete prick!!) until I was old enough to properly understand the way i thought of him, then she would agree with me!

Skorpion - water pistol sounds good, if not just use the gun!!

I've been sgned off work for a week, went to docs bout my continuous headaches, dizziness and nosebleeds and she checked everything (bloodpressure etc) and all ok so reckoned i was tired - who isn't with 2 DCs under 3 and pregnant?! so she signed me off to get some 'proper rest' - she obviously hasn't got children, it's more of a rest going to work, also DH is work fri-tues, then i'm back to work on wed - it'll be a real break!!

Saw MW today and told her bout headaches, she said is probably hormonal, which i agree with and that they'll sort themselves out.

Start pre-natal yoga aain next wee, have done it through all my pregnancies and foundit good to focus on myself and baby for a while, i remember being there when pregnant with #2 and being quite shocked that it was the first time i'd actually given this baby much thought as had been running round and thinking about DD ll the time, poor thing, this one will be even worse! Also found the yoga helped alot with my SPD, as long as careful with some of the moves, poss due to some of the streches.

Fruitpastels - sound like it's your ligaments stretching, though it could also be some early SPD, I got it quite early all in 3 pregnancies, have had it snce bout 13 weeks with this one, but think that's prob cause my body prob hadn't had much rest since last preg. let your MW know if you're concerned, she could refer you to physio, tho i didn't findthey helped much just told me the obvious about moving legs, lifting stuff etc.