Anybody else due in NOVEMBER 2009 :-) PART 2

[Koumak]

Ladies, it seems that we do not know when to stop!
Here is another thread. Let?s hope it?s just not the tread that moves that fast - let the weeks fly!
I jsut have to work out how to link the old one now!

travellinglight I'm so sorry to hear your bad news, take it easy and give yourself time.

travellinglight I'm really sorry for you. Take all the time you need to come to terms with what has happened. Take care.

I am so sorry to hear that travelling light. x

travelinglight that's really sad news, especially after seeing the baby on the scan. Take care of yourself and best of luck for the future x

travellinglight - I wish you and your partner all the best to deal with those sad news. Good luck for the future.

I'm leaving tonight (after hopefully a rather easy day at work) for my weekend with the family (and hopefully a healthy nephew). He hasn't showed any signy yet, a doctor said it is ok and I will stay away from him anyway.
I wish you all a nice and relaxing few days with your families!

travellinglight-so very sorry to hear your news. Take care of yourself. x

travelinglight I'm really sorry to hear your news, take care of yourself.

Thank you all yesterday for your support, my friend spent the day yesterday at her parent's house with her Dad so I decided to send her a text, I said how sorry I was and told her that I was here if she needed me for anything at all and if she needed a break from the children I was happy help there too, she replied thanking me and saying she was struggling to accept it, I sent a couple more text and thought I would just check on her again today via text, dose that sound ok to you guys?
Also should I buy her some flowers or that best avoided for a while?

sorry to go on but I don't want to do the wrong thing and upset her anymore than she already is!

tigger32 - I think sending a small posy of flowers are a nice idea (not a spray or anything too big). You're a lovely friend and very caring of her feelingsYou'll not what to do for the best.

Sorry to hear all the sad news recently

I've not been able to keep up with the posts and all the news. The weeks are feeling like they are passing by (for me anyway) a bit quicker. I can see the 12 week milestone just around the corner.

tabbykat - I'm a cm as well. I work part-time. I'm thankful that the MS and tiredness are easing off as I have ds at home this week and I'm working as well. Looking forward to a nice long weekend off

travellinglight and iggypiggy I'm so sorry to hear of your news. I hope you're able to take it easy for a while and that you are getting plenty of RL support.

tigger32 you sound very caring. I think you were right to text yesterday and give her some space, but I'd try and ring rather than text today, if you can. If you call her mobile then she can choose not to answer it if she isn't ready, but texting feels a bit casual somehow. If you don't feel you can call you could write her a letter (this might actually be the best option as she can read that when she feels ready).

flumpity how exciting you are expecting twins! I can see you are worried about it, but the chances are still good. Excuse my ignorance, but what does moma mean?

Ideanna did you manage to talk to DP last night? Has he come round?

momo twins are MOnoamniotic-MOnochorionic or sharing the same sac and fluid.

Hi thanks again for writing back, spoke to him last night. He said it will be fine and we will turn the stock room (part of it-its gross) in a baby changing/sleeping area etc. Im still furious-listen to this-i've been with him 3 years and just found his biggest flaw-selfishness. He says its not necessary to have over a month off and its just laziness-I think I give up! What about bonding? At the end of the day-this business is what HE has always wanted-not me and I said I would just help kick start it. I decided im not prepared to work untill I feel ready. Ive always wanted to be an at home mum like my mum did for me. I haven't told him yet but if he doesn't like it I will go and stay at my mum&dads!!Im so so so cross-I didn't expect him to be this bad! Im so sorry for the rant but as I haven't told anyone else yet i'm ranting here!

Oh Travellinglight i've just read i'm so sorry xx

ldeeanna sorry your DP is not being very understanding. Hopefully when you start going to antenatal classes he will see that there is a lot more to it than getting the labour out of the way. Do you have a friend's baby you could borrow for the day?

It would also be worth trying to work out what benefits you are entitled to? eg for the first 6 weeks you should get 90% of your current salary. After that I think it is around £120 a week. I don't think that's to be sniffed at, especially as the shop will still be bringing in money, whether or not you are in it. Child benefit is around £80 a month and you may also be entitled to other benefits. If you put the baby in nursery, you can get up to 80% of fees paid, depending on your income.

The other thing is, you could take the baby into work for a while (once you've recovered, established breastfeeding and a routine etc), but after a few months it will really need to have space to play, learn to crawl etc.

I'm guessing he doesn't really have much experience of babies, so doesn't know how much work is involved. I'm sure once he meets his own, beautiful child, all his selfishness will fly out the window, but I can see it's not really what you need at the moment.

I should have also said that once you go back to work, your maternity benefits end - even if you only go back part time. So you could try and convince him that it makes better business sense to be in receipt of your maternity benefits for as long as possible - after all that is all money in your communal pot, and just because you're not in the shop, doesn't mean it takes any less money. Could he run the business on his own for a while, or with part-time help a couple of mornings?

Hi Ideeanna- I'm sorry that your husband is being so unsupportive. Unfortunately his expectations of only having one month off are completely ridiculous! You won't even have finished fending off the visitors by then, let alone anything else!

Plus, the MW visits your home for 10 days after leaving hospital (which, if you end up with a CS could be 5 days after the birth) so that is over a fortnight straight off- I'm sure the MW will NOT be very endeared to your husband and his ideas when she gets wind of them.

I think he needs a wake up call- as others have suggested, do you have any pregnant friends or friends with babies, just so he can get an idea of what is 'normal' with a newborn? Good luck!

Thanks! Ive calmed down a bit now!! No, none of my friends have babies yet!! If any of you live in Truro and have a baby then plese feel free to let me babysit!!But I thought maybe when we go to the midwife appt on the 15th week I could bring it up and hopefully she'll put him straight!
I think I will be entitled to MA which is around 400 a month-and I didn't think about child benefit!! S it will cover a part timer! And I haven't even warned him about visitors-he's probably going to be more ill and stresses than me! You are right about him having no experience-dont think he's even held a baby! My mum will put him straight when she finds out! Thanks again xx

ldeeanna I'm sure everything will sort itself out. Plenty of time for you and dh to get your heads around things. Let the dust settle and those antenatal classes will put things into perspective for dh!

tigger I agree with laugs that you should perhaps ring your friend rather than text, I'm sure she would appreciate hearing your voice although I understand it will be a difficult call to make.

Ideanna sorry your husband is being a bit unsupportive but am sure he will change his tune once the pregnancy progresses and if not definately once the baby is born. I think its hard for the men as their lives aren't really affected until the baby is here whereas we can feel them growing inside of us and it feels real straight away. Anyway, just take a deep breath and ignore him when he next goes on about it, don't let it stress you out!

I've had a lovely morning at my friends. She has a little girl the same age as my ds and it was so cute seeing them play together. I told her about this baby and she was so pleased for me, and broody, I've told her to hurry up and come join me

Ds is asleep now and then his grandparents are taking him out so I've got a nice lazy afternoon planned, might even go back to bed for a little snooze!

Hope everyone is feeling ok...

I was so ill this morning my dp had to ring work and swap his shifts around so he could look after dd, meaning he has to work for seven and a half hours without a break tonight! I'll take him a sandwich into his shop at about seven to try and cheer him up.

This sickness is making me miserable

Hello all
sorry to hear the bad news, and pleased to hear the good news! Its lovely that everyone shares
Flumpity - WOW good grief - congratulations and oh my goodness you must be a bag of nerves! How lucky we are to live in a country where we get such good medical care - 80% is still high odds - just take it easy; no swinging from the chandiliers (oohh - is that how this whole thing started?! - just joking).

MIL arrived last night, and will have both sets of mothers around all weekend now - great - just what is needed told DH that we are going to have to tell them, as I have my head down the loo for most of the day, and developed the customary strange eating habbits.

Have a lovely weekend everyone - and remember the rules about chocolate - once you have opened the packet you have to eat it all, otherwise it will die.

will catch up when I'm back at work on Tuesday.

Hi all,

Just had my booking in appointment with the midwife and she was lovely (I wasn't really sure about the one I had last time round). She said the only thing that is proven to help MS is ginger. But she knows people als swear by rich tea biscuits by the bed.

Also, cupofteaplease I am pleased to report that the book she gaves me says a mug of tea contains 50mg caffeine, so we can have 4 a day. That is so much better than 2 cups and I am actually overjoyed! (that's quite sad)

LissyGlitter sorry you're feeling miserable, but at least you got some rest today. Does your DP have the 4-day weekend off to help out?

I'm going to change my EDD on the list below.

Beckyandbump # 2 EDD 28 Oct,Cumbria
Julietbat #2 EDD 28 Oct,
Pinkfizzle #1 EDD 28 Oct, SE London
Koumak #2 EDD 28 Oct (TBC), 12w scan 16 Apr, North London, UCHL
FattipuffsandThinnifers #2 EDD 31 Oct,
Mrsladybug #? EDD 1 Nov,
Mangolassi #2 EDD 1 Nov,
ursigurke #1 EDD 2 Nov, West London
Lillee #? EDD 3 Nov,
Supercherry #2 EDD 4 Nov,
Chocotastic #2 EDD 4 Nov, SE London
Fruitpastels #2 EDD 4 Nov, SE London
Stokey #1 EDD 4 Nov, North London
Homeinthesun #2 EDD 4 Nov,
Amyboo #1 EDD 4 Nov,
becks130 #2 EDD 4 Nov,
Browntrout #? EDD 5 Nov,
Lemontop #1 EDD 5 Nov,
Ronniemummy #2 EDD 5 Nov (to be confirmed!!)
Piper #1 EDD 6 Nov,
BonyM #? EDD 6Nov,
Leannabanana #3 EDD 6 Nov,
BlackLetterDay #3 EDD 6 Nov
Tabbykat #2 EDD 7 Nov, Kent
Mrsdisorganised #5 EDD 7 Nov (to be confirmed!!)
Scarlotti #3 EDD 7 Nov,
WizzyWoo #2 EDD 7 Nov,
AileenF1 # EDD 8 Nov,
Barnowl #4 EDD 8 Nov,
Munchies37 #1 EDD 8 Nov,
Buttercup EDD 9 Nov,
Catitainahatita #2 EDD 9 Nov,
Helips #2 EDD 9 Nov,
CakeForBreakfast #2 EDD 9 Nov,
Hobnob57 #2 EDD 9 Nov,
Cies #1 EDD 10 Nov, Vigo, NW Spain.
QueenNeurosis #? EDD 10 Nov,
eeyore2 #1 EDD11 Nov,
Grendle EDD 11 Nov,
Tigger32 # 3 EDD 11 Nov,
lynniep #2 EDD 11 Nov, Cambridgeshire
iggypiggy #1 EDD 12 Nov, South London
Weston #2 EDD 12 Nov,
LadyGooGoo #3 EDD 13 Nov, North Wales
Thandeka EDD 14 Nov,
MiniLlace #? 14 Nov,
Southernbelle77 #2 EDD 14 Nov, West Sussex
Pavlovthecat #2 EDD 15 Nov,
pinkmich1972 #3 EDD 15 Nov, kent
alexdrake #2 EDD 15 Nov, Essex
PootleTheFlump #1 EDD 15 Nov,
Kyte #2 EDD 16 Nov, Hampshire Surrey border
LaraT #2 EDD 16 Nov,
EasyEggs #5, EDD17 Nov, Kent, (Sussex/Surrey border)
BeckyBendyLegs #3, EDD 18 Nov, Shorpshire
Brightonbaby #1 EDD 18 Nov Brighton&Hove
roomac #3 EDD 19 Nov, NW London
Ninjacat no2 EDD 19 Nov, Bristol
belgianbun #2 EDD 20 Nov, S London
katster37 #1 EDD 21(or24) Nov, S London
Laugs #2 EDD 23 Nov, Newcastle
Hamandegger #? EDD 23 Nov, West Sussex
Turtle23 #2 EDD 25 Nov, London/Surrey border
Claired21 #1 EDD 25 Nov, Glasgow
Flumpity #2 EDD 26 Nov,
Pedalmonster #2 EDD 27 Nov, New Malden, Surrey
Joycey29 #3 EDD 27 Nov,
Naetha #2 EDD 27 Nov,
raggie #1 EDD 28 Nov, North London

ideanna I'm sure your husband will see sense once (if not before) the baby arrives Maybe have a look at some books together about the first few weeks of looking after a baby. I remember my friends reading something called 'the first six weeks' just before they had their first baby and it gave them a very honest picture of what to expect. I'm going to ask to borrow it myself when I feel ready!

I've just had a scan which showed a v. healthy baby. It was dancing for us on the scan! It was such a relief after having quite a bit of spotting. They can't see any reason for it. Just got to keep an eye on it. Hoping to see midwife to get booked in tomorrow.

Laugs- no, he works in a bargain booze shop, so he's busier than normal this weekend.

Still feeling awful. And I've just noticed the time, so it's too late to ring the gps and make an appointment to talk about anti-sickness drugs, I'll have to wait till tuesday

Luckily dd has been having a nap since 3 (I really should go and wake her up so she'll sleep properly tonight, but I'm relishing being able to sit still)

Poor you. Wake your DD up though! I let mine sleep for two and a half hours yesterday (but she doesn't normally have a nap any more) and she didn't go to bed til 10.30 last night! It was awful, and DH had gone out so I was all on my own.
Then again, she did sleep late this morning, so I got quite a nice lie in.