Hello Nutty, from the Boffin gildey chair.
yeah, feel free to ignore me, am in a funny place right now.
It's very hard being this incapacitated for this long, especially for women that have been as active as we have in the past. But I am hanging onto the fact that at least our legs haven't dropped off (yet), so there is scope for recovery.
Had a major go at dh last night, was a major biaaatch, for not doing enough (he has done quite a bit to be fair and on the whole been pretty good, but he didn't do dd's homework with her and i went off on one). He didnt really deserve it tbh. I'm just in a lot of pain, feel very depressed and frustrated so took it out on him. Now feel worse. I apologised but i still did it and feel really guilty.
I think it is compuslory to do this, so they are grateful we are bearing them children and they buy us better presents afterwards. From the sound of it you have a lovely DH who can more than take it from you.
Can I point out that tantrums might be useful - my oven is probably cleaner than it was when it was new now.
I just want to sleep all the time to hide from reality and to try and get away from it all.
I know what you mean but there is daytime TV, MN and chocolate to fit in around that, and your new sofa will be coming soon. At least stay awake long enough to admire the sofa!!
I'm frustrated that i contribute nothing to the house.
I feel like that too, which is why I have painfully unpacked all the baby stuff from the delivery boxes, made up the cot with the new mattress and then collapsed back on the glidey chair in agony.
I'm fed up with myself and my four walls.
DH and I found that if we went out for an hour together every day we could, especially at the weekend, it helped a lot. He is getting better with the wheelchair and I don't get propelled into the gutter so often now.
i'm tired cos i'm in pain. I feel like a junkie cos i spend my days now waiting (gagging) for 8 o clock to roll round so i can dose myself up on morphine and slip into oblivion (i hate that).
This is indeed a problem and I know what you mean about the morphine because I hate it. I also skipped two doses of codeine and paracetemol yesterday to see what it would be like and it wasn't good, so I am not looking forward to after week 38, but I will
have to cross that bridge when I come to it. But like the leg thing, I am hanging onto the fact that the odds are in our favour that by September we won't need this stuff ever again.
I want to be a mum to my daughter not just some figure that resides on the sofa.
I am missing my kids too but I have been really surprised how resilient they have been over all this. I am looking forward to catching up a bit after I get better. I am sure you will be able to more than compensate in a few weeks' time.
I want to be the happy bonkers wife that i was.
I think we are all agreed you are still sufficiently bonkers to amuse us all! I am sure your DH understands.
I want my mobility back. I'm sick of being a snappy useless cow. i'm sick of the pain.
We are nearly there, and we never have to be pg again after this!!! Yippeee!!!!
i seem to go through these patches but come out the other side when i have kicked myself up the bum enough to be positive. it will pass.
My consultant said this was an absolutely normal reaction to SPD/PGP and they see it all the time. She also said the cloud lifts after delivery. There is hope.
sorry, i will get back to being mildly happy. just a bad day. not long now. gosh i sound like a mental case
But the mental case award is MINE! With my headnoise posts!! It's OK to feel a little mental sometimes, tbh. It's life, especially when pg and struggling.
We are all here for you Nutty xx