Due April 2009 - Episode 10 - Fanjo Warriors demand Padded Purple rooms......Great Expectations!

[KittyCatIsGettingFat]

New thread for us all! How many days this time?? {grin}

Anyone for a homemade choc-chip cookie?

Happy birthday Nutty!

Ooh, frekkles, the boat idea's lovely - although I'm not sure how I'd be with the sea sickness (I know that it'd barely move, but I'm really sensitive to it at the best of times & being pregnant...), but I'm definitely going to bookmark that as a future idea! You lot are all so helpful (& well done on the links )

Boffin, I bet that's the first time you've ever seen one of your sons choose to be locked in the bathroom near all that soap & water

Why were you doing housework? Naughty. Are you still feeling sick?

Puzzle, thank you for crossing out the word 'horrifyingly' I'm still intending to be perfectly dignified & finish up with a baby in my arms & not a hair out of place

KittyCat, I suddenly have faith restored in men after hearing that your DH was the same - he's managed to pick up a lot very quickly, good for him! & please tell me you actually phoned to ask about bulk orders of frosty shrugs

BB, I knew you'd be outraged I have a relevant (but separate) moan about it, actually, but I'll save that for the end of my catch up. & yes, I'm intending to go shoe shopping - but it's snowing, so I'll see how heavy it is by the time DP's out at uni. We're also meant to be having a chat with the head chef at that restaurant about menus after 4ish - I'm really hoping that it'll be easy enough to get there in this weather, because I want it sorted.

As for Boffin's increasing absence, I know it's not what I was signing up for when bitching about the NHS! I also blame her daughter with her accusations of MN addiction! She's a disgrace to womankind, robbing us of our Boff in our months of need

Oh Bleu, that sounds like it was awful How strange, too - did it just come on out of pretty much nowhere, or has it been building for a while?

I had some sharpish pains the end of last week, but I figure it was the baby really. I had rib pain the night before last actually too (about a 7 on the pain scale), but it was not as bad by far. Which is why gp wanted me horizontal today, to see if it's somehow caused by the baby pushing up against the ribs, or the ever expanding belly pushing the ribs up and out while I'm sitting.
Nutty might well be right about it happening because I've been compensating for the sciatica though too.
Dh noticed the pain seemed to come in waves, as I was quiet for a while then I'd start getting more and more agitated as the pain around the ribs would increase. He suggested it might be muscle spasms of some sort.

Hi Bleur - I have had painful ribs but nothing like that. I hope it gets better over the day.

Springy - your DP is very young, so there is lots and lots of hope for him. When I think back to the prehistoric days when my friends and I used to go out with early-20s-year olds I can remember all the girls explaining that going out for dinner wasn't just fuel, going to a hotel wasn't just a bed, yes it is different if it is a surprise, yes it is different if you wrap it up and don't give it to me in the bag from the shop... etc.

(My grandfather never got it - I can remember my dad patiently trying to explain to him about wrapping presents up when he must have been about 70 and my dad about 40.)

My 'relevant, but separate, moan' is this - I'm fairly sure that DP was lurking on this thread last night. If he was, I am seriously unimpressed. I suppose I'll never know, although I wish he'd just be honest about it - if he was, he's now told an awful lot of lies to cover his tracks & promised me that he wasn't doing anything but what he said that he was.

He knows that I've been talking about wedding things a lot here, but I thought that he knew that this was my private space where we all come to talk about boobs & fanjos & stuff without giving away any of our feminine mystique in front of the menfolk (haha at the idea of having any feminine mystique ).

Last night, I turned my laptop off after we'd agreed that it was bedtime, & flopped over to his side of the sofa to lean on him. This sudden movement made him very quickly rotate his laptop screen away from me, seeming a bit flustered. I wasn't looking properly because I wasn't expecting to need to know what was on the screen, but it looked an awful lot like MN. He then immediately turned his computer off, claiming that he was just on another forum thing which he frequents. & here's where the lack of male subtlety makes it even more suspicious - I immediately get asked 'are you okay with going to the Premier Inn...' (I'm sorry, but that still sounds so ridiculous I have to laugh ) '...or do you want to go somewhere else?'. I said 'I don't know, whatever', because I wanted to see how sure of himself he was - & therefore how likely it was that he'd been reading my moans. & he was all 'no, not whatever...' & so on.

So I asked him what he was doing again, & said that it didn't look like he was doing what he claimed to be doing, but he still insists - & promises - that he was.

As I say, I suppose I'll never know for sure. But I've been talking about my dress (which I don't want him to see before!) & all sorts of things, & I don't know what he's read & what he hasn't. I feel a bit violated at the thought that he was potentially just sitting next to me, reading things that I'd never have said if I'd have known that he'd have read them. & really sad at the thought that he may have been promising things that weren't true. I wish he'd just be honest - I really am about 95% sure that he was.

Anyway I've spoken to my mum this morning & my family are coming up the night before the wedding & staying in a hotel, so I can stay with them & get ready there, before going to the registry office with them.

She also apparently knows someone who makes wedding cakes & has since retired from their full-time job, so she is going to phone her to ask about the possibility of making us one last minute. So that's potentially a couple of things sorted today already

Me and an ex once stayed in a travelodge for our new year (we were 15 & 16) and it was awful! Seemed like a good idea at the time but actually was just bad with the tea and coffee making machine and 4 channels on TV - hardly the height of romance!!!

Springy you can't go in to town until we have finished this thread!! Come on kids....

We also need to start thinking about thread titles!!!

Bleu - what are you going to do all day while you are horizontal? I have 2 invitations to Spotify, which is free legal streaming music... you can search for ANYTHING and EVERYTHING, it is like having radio-your-brain. If you want one, I can email it to you.

Nutty, do you want the other as a birthday present?

If you two sign up you get to invite people on, so everyone will have one in the end if we keep them moving around.

But it's subsided a bit now, Bleu? The pain coming in waves thing always rings alarm bells at this point in pregnancy is all... Sounds awful You are horizontal, aren't you?

& Sarah, you're right. It's really not that he's even being tight-fisted about the money or anything, he just doesn't see the point. He thinks it's all the same & can't see how one bed is different from another, etc.

The image of your dad trying to explain to your grandfather about wrapping up is really cute, by the way

ha ha Springy, it's not that cute. There were times when I was really reminded of my dad and his dad by the relationship between Father Ted and Father Jack.

Apparently I also can't go into town until I've done an online grocery shop, so it looks like I'm stuck here a bit - it takes me ages because looking at all the food makes me feel really sick & usually results in me throwing up, even now, so I try to do it bit by bit. So yeah, I'll be here to see the thread out, I think. It doesn't look like it'll take long, especially if Nutty can tear herself away from her DH to spread some birthday cheer around

& yes, BB - my ex took me to a travelodge for my 18th birthday. As my only present. & then made me feel really shallow & guilty for saying that it seemed a bit naff when all he was really doing was buying himself chance to have some sex (although I think I did phrase it a bit more diplomatically than that!). He was earning a rather good wage at the time, too - £9/hr in a full-time job really isn't bad for an 18 year old.

Okay, maybe not so cute in that case - but still raises a smile

OMW Springy I would go mad if DH read MN without permission - mainly because like you said - this is our space where we can just be honest and get everything off our chest without sounding crazy or having to feel bad for saying these things to them!

You have to believe him if he says he didn't do it OR go in to his history on his computer and see what he was really doing if it is still there! that's what I would do but I am sneaky and spent the last year of uni with my best friend reading her ex's diary - sorry journal (knob) - after he cheated on her with someone else (should point out we were all living together as a group of friends) and then lied to her about it for months. Luckily Dh is such a bad liar (As am I) and he can't keep a secret AND if he read about me being horrible to him or complaining about something he would have a sulk about it and then eventually tell me!

Boys are not allowed unless given specific permission my the Fanjo Warriors!!!

bleu, um, I am rubbish at being told to do nothing so I can't help you as I have the LOWEST possible boredom threshold (hence my planning!) CONSTANTLY!

I am horizontal, though it makes it tough to type really, and it's really boring... I think I may do a lot of sleeping today, that and messing around on facebook, though I really ought to do some reading or writing.

The pain is lessened rather a lot when I'm horizontal actually, and is probably only a 2 right now with only occational spikes to 3, which is nice.

Dh was really worried (as were the NHS direct people) that the pain was coming in waves...but it was all in the ribs, along the bottom of the rib cage and had nothing really to do with the baby or low down. I could feel all that equal and separate when the baby moved/kicked. They were a little afraid I was also having a heart attack. But it wasn't in my chest per se...really it was the ribs and upper back when things got really bad.

Bleu that doesn't sound good but hopefully was just pressure up there and now you just need to let all the bruising go down! Fingers crossed!!!

The thing is, I'm only letting it go because it's him - because I find it hard to believe that he would lie so much about it, so think that maybe I am just mistaken. If it was anyone else, I'd be completely sure. Even if I wanted to check his history I can't - his laptop's password protected. I wouldn't anyway, on principle - we've had another incident on this theme before where he read my MSN chat logs when I went back to Brum & left my (unpassworded) laptop here. He owned up to that as soon as I got back, without me asking, because he wanted to quiz me about various things he'd read. It was great So I wouldn't read his things without his permission because it would completely void my point, apart from the actual moral issues.

That's also why I'm a bit twitchy about this - I made it really clear that it wasn't okay to do that & it'd really upset me if he thought that it was okay to read here to check up on me instead. I know that it'd probably have been done with the best of intentions - knowing that I was a bit about things & that I'd been talking about it here, he probably knew that he'd find a clue as to what was up so that he could fix it, or whatever. But it's such an invasion of privacy! This is the only place in the world that I feel that I can say absolutely anything at all & for it to be okay!

Well there are a couple of ways to look at DP's possible MN reading.

1. he was snooping, but because he wanted to know how you were really feeling and felt embarrassed to ask
2. he was snooping, because he wanted to read your intimate details and invade your privacy
3. he was on a different forum and maybe talking about things he didn't want you to know about just like you write about here on MN.

I personally find snooping not so nice, though I have to say the temptation is often there. I think try to have a reasonable conversation with him about it...not blaming, but saying something like you've said to us...that you want him to be surprised about the dress and want to keep that a secret and the here on MN sometimes you're relieved you can rant with out always having to rant to him, thus putting a lot of pressure on him... Even offhanded scommens like that will chide him gently if hes done something he shouldn't, but remind him also that you need your space too

Sleeping sounds like a good idea, Bleu. You've been putting so much pressure on yourself recently - it's almost a good thing that you have to just lie there for a little while because it'll force you to have a rest. As BB says, hopefully it's just bruising that'll recover very quickly & stop causing the pain.

Springy...you know he did, don't you. At least, you are pretty sure that he probably did.

Bleu, it's not 3 - I'm also a member of that forum & could easily (& legitimately, without trying to check up on him) read what he was saying.

But you & Nutty have just pretty much said what I was saying as we crossed posts - I'm sure, if he was, that he had the best of intentions. I just don't like it. & I especially don't like the lying about it.

Ooh, Nutty, you'll have everyone there this afternoon - your DH & DD with their bonus time off! & 6 inches of snow, too! As far as birthdays go, that can't be bad. How are you feeling today?

Ginger, I really am pretty sure. If I didn't trust him so much I'd have out & out accused him of lying & demanded to know how much he'd read, etc. As it is he promised me multiple times that he wasn't doing anything untoward, so I suppose I have to just ignore the conclusions I reached on my own & take his word for it. Still knowing, of course, that he may be playing me for a fool & that I may well never know.

Ooh, what kind of cake, Nutty?

Thanks for the thought Ginger but in all honesty it's probably wasted on me... I so don't know music or what I'd do with such a thing as streaming music (I'm a bit rubbish when it somes to music technology)