Due Nov 2008 - PMA - our tums & bums are growing but we get an excuse to wear big knickers - now that's a stroke of luck!!! x x x

[ChocOrange05]

Hope you like the thread - minds not working so well at the moment!

Hi everyone.

Coolkat i have SPD too and am in agony a lot of the time, having physio helps but sitting at desk all day at work is . Looking forward to finishing. Someone told me they are being induced 2 weeks early because of chronic back pain - have you heard of this - not sure about being induced but cutting down on the "pain" time would be a bonus.

Have been worrying lots about the birth, mostly because of having a DS already and he will be 5, I don't want him to be pushed out by lots of visitors etc, I really want the first few days after delivery to be just me, DH and DS so that we can all bond together - if that doesn't sound too bad. I know that my inlaws were a complete pain in the **se when I had DS, they visited constantly at the hospital (was no visiting hours in patient hotel above maternity) so they stayed in between my other visitors iyswim. They are completely not my cup of tea, not like my mum who knows me well and wouldn't dream of "intruding" that much, or my mum would help with the ironing or washing, meals etc, the in laws expect glasses of wine and waiting on!!!! , I really don't want them anywhere near me most of the time. At the weekend, because we were with them and they had invited their other son over with his family it got a bit hectic, I know I am being sensitive, but after having 4 mcs, her saying to me, are you sure you want another just made me want to spit. I really do not want them around me, but obviously DH will want them to visit, I don't want to hurt his feelings but feel that the birth will only be traumatic because of my feelings towards them.

Sorry for ranting - I feel horrible now.

x

Smiles

dozy - Can the grobags be used in buggies?

smiles - you need to tell DH the stress you are going through and explain that you want that first few days just you, DH, DS and baby so you can all adjust because you have all been through a lot. Then insist HE tell his mum and dad. Unfortunately though if you say that to his parents you would need to do the same with yours.

My parents and in laws both visited at hospital but at least gave us breathing space once we got home.

Smiles - I completely sympathise with you as just being in the same room as my MIL tends to set my teeth on edge - it really is something your DH will have to tackle but no advice as to how.

Vbab - I avoided the cheaper supermarket/high street grobags - mainly because, as Dozy said, they don't tell you what tog they are. I have a mix of Grobags and Slumbersacs as both of these do come in different togs. here is the link to the Slumbersac website for you (check out the ITNG ones ) but TKMaxx often sell Slumbersacs for about £10 each - obviously they are not the latest styles but perfectly acceptable and definitely a lot cheaper. Also, as Dozy said, they are so easy as you only need to put a bottom sheet on the cot and then that is it - no need to tuck sheets/blankets in - just put the baby in the grobag and dump in the cot

You can buy a grobag that can be used in buggies and carseats - how cool is that?! Should be on the website, but I never had one I have to say.....

Smiles you have my sympathy you really do. i think as for you should explain to your DH how you are feeling as for DS1 we had the World and his wifwe around to visit during DH's paterntiy...it was horrible as I was breast feeding constantly, felt like shite and was soooo tired..DS2 we asked to be left alone jsut the 4 of us (apart from my parents, who like yours wouldn't dream of interfering and being waited on hand and foot) and we asked people when we felt up to it. Was magical....

Same will happen this time around...In fact I insist that all first time parents take the time out to chill and bond as a family!!!

Thanks VBAB. I have spoken to my mum about it and she says it is OK with her to visit after a few days, but I am close to my mum and I know I can't do one thing for one and another for my mum. DH will understand I am sure, he does know what they are like, but actually saying it seems a bit of a cheapshot at them, I don't really want to cause any bad feeling.

Dozy - I had forgotten about those grobags - I actually bought one for DS by accident as didn't realise it was a travel one - it has 2 zip pulls on the front and a hole in the bag which is velcroed over for you to thread the seatbelt/buggy restraint through - very clever but have never used it for that purpose.

Thanks Dozymare - I don't want to lose the fabulousness of having another baby that I had only been dreaming of for years. Having two DC and my DH just makes my world complete and I don't want it to be spoilt - will defo have a heart to heart with DH, I had thought maybe I was losing it and being too unreasonable.

X

Smiles

Thanks for the advice about baby monitors. I knew I'd get a good response The advice about grobags was good too.
Pinkyminky I know you're on holiday but just wanted to say that the blanket arrived today and it's gorgeous!
Smiles What a tricky situation for you Hopefully DH can speak to his parents tactfully and explain that you want a few days on your own. Any sensitive person would understand that.
I've got a similar situation - my gran and aunt want to come over from France to see the baby and I was already wondering how soon after the birth they should come but having seen Dozy's comment I think DH and I need to have a think... They'll be staying with my Mum so it's not as if we'd have them with us but it might be difficult to keep my gran away... Families eh!

Smile, Ok here is what i would do... You are the woman who their son loves and who will have produced 2 gorgeous grandchildren for them. Tell DH to inform them that you don't want any visitors and that is ANY visitors for the first few days. DH should understand. Your mum as is mine is totally different. She is your mother and after all lets not forget, it is you who will have just been through the labour so I think you are in your right to say what you want. DH should udnerstand and support you. You will of course be more than happy (grit teeth) to see them in a few days... xxxx keep xxxx Don't forget this is about your immediate family, YOU, DH, DS and new baby!!!

Hello ladies.

Sometime lurker, first time poster. EDD Nov 7th.

I think I just want a few virtual hugs and a bit of encouragement. At my last MW visit (c28 weeks) I got told that I was "small for dates". Now, since I am 5'10" and have never been small for anything in my life, I was rather put out. More seriously, at both the scans the baby was a good, bordering on large, size. (Femur length at 20 weeks was off the scale!) I go back and see the MW next week (so with a 2 week rather than 3 week gap) and if the bump is still undersize they will send me for a scan. (Although, I'll be lucky to be seen for another few weeks after that on prior experience).

So, what, if anything, has happened from 20 to 28 weeks? And what, if anything, can I do?

I'm eating properly. Not running round (too much) and as from last night, sleeping only on my lefthand side!

Hi Tablefor3 welcome

Your story sounds like what happened to my sister. She looked very small all through her pregnancy and according to her mw with both her sons she was told she was 'measuring small' and was sent for two additional scans in which baby was absotutely fine and found to be laying in a transverse position. She went on to have a 8 pound six baby!

I know it is easier said than done but try not to worry it could be the way the baby is laying not anything you are doing wrong.

Do you know what you are having?

My mw appointment went ok today, got my note to fly but i'm borderline iron deficient so got to stock up on iron rich foods now. At least that might explain why i have been so tired.

Hi there all

Welcome Tablefor3, the sizing thing is notoriously inaccurate and I have seen people's accounts on other threads where they were induced early/worried sick about 'small for dates' babies that turned out to be very healthy weights when born! Would echo Lola's comments and urge you not to stress about it too much...

Ceebs so at that stupid woman for bashing your noo car! I was nearly in accident myself at weekend - I pulled out (nothing in middle/fast lane) and some arsehole taxi driver came speeding up behind me beeping his horn? Er excuse me that part of motorway is a 40 mph (for good reason) and he was doing at least 80 mph. No joke, I soo wanted to swear at him but kept my cool as DS was in back.

Suiledonn, it sounds like you are in very difficult position there re: induction, can only hope you find some positive experiences that will keep your spirits up . Re your DH it has taken me close to 10 years to teach mine about whites and darks in washing machine duh!!!!

Has taken me ages to type this prob be loads more messages since I started and this post will look totally irrelevant!!

table3, my friend was TINY until about 34 weeks and then suddenly started popping. Baby was over 8lbs. She was worried too, but the advantage is she has gone right back to her original size (8) within a month!

Grobags are fab...I used very quickly, but ds was 8lb3 so not sure what advice is on smaller babies.

Thanks for encouraging bump comments. Can feel very self conscious, but beginning to feel more positive with all your niceness . Thanks.

I had a bog standard Tomy (no room temp) and used it about 3x!

As for visitors. Everyone is different. I really resented people who DIDN'T visit me quickly. Now I wonder if they were giving me space, but I wanted to show off my baby, and expected people to come and 'look after' me a bit, make me a cup of tea, ah and oooh over baby etc. Had complete attitude with people who didn't (including ALL of my in laws).

pinkali; sounds like sciatica or problems with your sacro-iliac joint. Mine has gone today and my leg gave way earlier

I'm having a horrible time of it too. After pulling a muscle on the left at the top on Saturday, I spent all of last night in horrendous pain from a sharp burning pain just above my right hip bone. I was getting shooting pains whenever I tried to move and very nearly called 999 it was so sore. Couldn't get through to anyone mid wifey this morning, no doc appointment till Wednesday. anyway, it had eased a bit and was a dull burn rather than a sharp one, so I did a bit of shopping and then cracked on getting the house tidied and dusted as I was expecting 6 people plus kids around for an usbourne book party. Two o'clock came and went and not one fecker turned up or even called to say they couldn't make it . So I sat on the sofa watching TV fir a bit, feeling more and more uncomfortable and when I stood up after an hour, my leg just gave way.

Called the CMWs who told me to call the assessment unit who said nothing they could do, doesn't sound like anything wrong with the baby but call if it gets worse (which is what I was doing as I was told the same thing on Saturday) and neither the CMWs or the assessment unit were prepared to refer me to the perinatal physios. So, I am reduced to hobbling round the house and trying to marshall the DCs into doing what I want. DH is away for the weeks as well and not sure he'll be back before Friday . I'm going to try and see the doctor tomorrow but not sure what, if anything, he can do.

sorry for the me me me post but am feeling utterly miserable as I am definately going to miss my june PN meet up now

oh and welcome to table for 3. we are usually a lot cheerier, honest

the small for dates thing can be a bit hit and miss. I'm only 5'2" and look huge, but my reasoning is that I have less space between hips and boobs for baby and bump to spread into so of course I'm going to stick out at the front more than someone taller who has a bit more room.

one of my june 07 ladies was terrified by her MW about being small for dates and had to wait for a scan. The scan said the baby was measuring above average and then got her all scared about birthing a monster. She eventually gave birth to a 7lb baby at 39 weeks, so go figure.

Try not to worry about it too much until you have had the scan. Sizing babies in utero isn;t an exact science.

Sorry Pinkali and Lacks feeling so sore, back pain is awful. Many get well hugs all round...

Re: baby monitors, we were given a BT one as present for DS and I think it is excellent, really clear sound and easy to use. New model out now but it seems just as good.

Oh yeah meant to say Smiles I don't think you are being sensitive at all, perfectly normal to want some time alone as a family. My MIL went a bit arsey before DS was born and it really got my back up. Together with the helpful comments about child raising and how perfect her kids were (no terrible 2s!!). Didn't make for a perfect in law relationship. All sorted now (I think) but it was really stressful so completely understand. Hope your DH is able to sort things out, it is his call to sort this out I feel...

Smiles - I really sympathise with you. I'm sure your DH will totally understand how you feel and can make sure your PIL don't muscle in. Sorry about your back pain too .
LackaDaisical - ooh ouch - poor you. What a nightmare.
Thanks all for your help on the subject of grobags. I guess I'm not sure (as a first-timer) whether to buy all the sheets and blankets etc, or just go straight to grobags, or buy a mixture of both.

MonkeyM, I would buy a couple of blankets but don't bother with sheets (except those which cover mattress). Blankets are always useful for throwing over them in car seat, pushchair, putting on the floor so they can have a roll around (when older) etc. But only a couple. They don't need to be used with sheets as babies will be all covered in babygro or a nightgown thing.

Lacka, poor, poor you. It must be really hard without dh around as well. You are usually so up beat and capable sounding that I can tell it is really bad if you even considered calling 999. How annoying that no-one turned up when you made all that effort to tidy. Can't believe how stingy they are with the physios. I asked for some help, I wanted a belt to help support my large belly, but the doctor said there is no way they would see me and I need to buy a tight Tshirt!

Smiles, I sympathise too. But imagine how you would feel if they couldn't be bothered to come and see you and new baby (my in-laws) because we live a 45 min drive away (across London). I guess somewhere in the middle is the best. It's great they are so keen to see the baby, but also need to be kept under control.

just saw this and thought someone might be interested.

thanks guys; I'm just feeling sorry for myself

but, I'm having a medicinal glass of red wine and some nice belgian chocolate.

MM, you should pressurise you MW for a physio referral. I would've thought physio would be offered to anyone having more than one as a matter of course!

pmsl at tight t-shirt......men have no bloody idea do they, GPs or not!

HELLLOOOOOOOOOOO everyone - have just had a quick scan through the thread to see what you're all up to. Sorry I haven't been on for ages - do you remember me?!

I can't believe how we are now talking about having babies in 3 months time not just being 3 months pg.

Lacks - your pain sounds a nightmare - I really ended up hobbling with my 2 from 30 wks and am getting that way now.

I feel like I need support under my belly and under my fanjo too, especially come evening time.

Does anyone else feel like hormones have really kicked in - I seem to be so much less tolerant and get the hump very easily or teary. Doesn't help that DH is stressed at work and needs to chill a bit when I want him to be showering affection my way!

I too am shi*ng it about the birth. 1st baby was elective C section and then tried for VBAC but ended with 2nd section so think will be section this time - it is an amazing experience but still cacking it, especially as I know that feeling like they are 'drawing' a line across your tummy and you know what's really happening.

Can't wait for baby though.

well you have good reason to feel sorry for yourself! the wine and choc sounds good.