Due June 08: A few eggs have hatched, we wish the rest would GET CRACKING!!!

[systemsaddict]

Let's hope the rest of the eggs get cracking very soon!

Rant coming up.

at (D)H. He went away last night to sort something out in London and missed his train back. He's very disorganised, no surprise there (although he never misses trains when it's work, only when it's to see me.)
But it gets worse... In January, I was asked to give a v. important lecture, one of the most important ever in my career, and it's July 16th. DH encouraged me to do it although I did point out that I'd have a very young baby. I agreed, because I really want to do it.
Turns out he's not going to be available to look after the baby because he's taken a case on the very same day. He's known about this a while, but hadn't bothered to tell me. And his plan is to hire a nursery nurse to look after his son for the afternoon whilst I give a talk!

I am so, so furious because it seems to me that he's just opting out, and it looks like he thinks he can pick and choose when to be a supportive husband/father, and when not. Am I overreacting here? I thought we had an agreement, and this is a one-off (but major important) thing for me, and he's not backing me up at all on it. I mean, when was he going to mention this??

So angry that I've told him to go back to London. He's switched his mobile off now (again, opting out?), so let's hope I go into labour and he misses it all.

Sorry all. But really need to smash stuff, I'm so angry.

Needahand- good luck, thinking of you!

Ernest- photos of Adele would be lovely.

SA- good luck too, it sounds really manageable right now

Amber- a "clear out" often comes before labour, esp after all that goo. Fingers crossed for you.

Nothing to report here, in fact the LO seems to be thriving on pineapple and green curry! I've been walking loads and no pre-labour symptoms at all.
Although I've got a sharp pain in my sacrum when I stand still or get up from sitting. It feels like a trapped nerve and makes me limp. Sniff!

Essie- Big hug! The reality of having a NB can be really difficult for men to imagine. Not that that excuses him! You're right to be angry. A nursery nurse will prob do a great job. The problem is that your DH didn't think of what you wanted first. I'm sure he'll get his act together when he meets his new baby.
FWIW I find that I double check everything that my DH organises and make sure he puts all my dates in his diary too.

Essie - you're not over-reacting. That's pretty poor. He should have consulted you about this before taking on the case. I hope you guys sort it out (before you go into labour!).

allnew I'm a bit the same, I cant believe that I've been off work for over two weeks and I've done so little about the house!!! Clearly, my nesting instinct hasn't kicked in.

Sybil- sounds really good!

Essie you are completely in the right here, I would be furious too. Of course he should have consulted you on this first - he probably got the dates mixed up and now can't admit to having made a mistake. And the reality of actually having a baby may not have kicked in yet for him. Men can be extremely obtuse about such things.

To reassure you, though, a nursery nurse might well do a better job on this one than an inexperienced dad; at 2-4 weeks old the baby won't know the difference and will probably feel more secure with someone who knows what they're doing, so it might work out better for you in terms of being able to focus on the lecture.

Hope you and dh can talk about it all calmly at some point, but the main thing is hope you feel better soon, it's awful being let down like that, and try and relax if you can - don't want your bp going up!

Delivery suite say I should still come in this afternoon for the consultant appt as they can then check me over - bit disappointed as I'd rather just stay here till things kick in properly but I guess that way I'll at least know the state of play - and have a good argument against being induced now!!! Ow ow ow, off to breathe, ow...

Essie, justifiably indignant on your behalf. Hope your anger gives him a bit of a reality check...
Nothing happening here. 38 week check yesterday, 2/5 engaged and all a-ok. Just made a cup of RLT, and looking forward to starting maternity leave at the weekend; off to see the nice NCT bra lady tomorrow for a fitting.
Thanks everyone for taking the time to post - even though I read more than I get the chance to write, it's nice to feel part of the gang Excited for news of those who seem like they're in labour...

'Essie' - major sympathies. Agree with one of the comments above about guys just not getting the whole new born thing until it happens. Difficult enough for a new mum. Hope you manage to get it sorted.

warning - another rant

Well, I haven't been on for a while - trying to get stuff sorted as well as doing everything I can to shake this babe out. I thought that since this was my second, I'd be popping him out by at least 39 weeks compared to his brother who was 42.5 weeks. Now at 40 weeks plus 4 days and feeling really pissed off.

Have had reflexology, done long walks, had acupuncture yesterday and trying Sex in the City film as a last resort tomorrow. And ... nothing. aaaaaaaaaagggggghhhhhh .

To really irritate, had pressures from work as well in the form of an email rant from the girl I have handed work over to who claims I have just dumped on her and she was expecting me to do client work tomorrow if I hadn't popped. Almost had to restrain DH from going over there and poking her in the eye (my hero!).

So mega pissed off - sympathies to everyone else who's overdue and getting bored.

Essie - I am so with you! It's the kind of thing my DP would do without realising he'd done wrong (like telling me he was going to Las Vegas in August for a friend's birthday for a week when the baby would be just 6 weeks old ish and I have no experience or family to help me!!!). Once I had my initial rage, I calmly explained what a penis he had been and he is now not going. Perhaps your un-DH didn't realise he'd made a mistake at the time. Very childish to turn off his phone though - you should leave him a message on the phone telling him your waters have broken (tee hee!!) and then turn your phone off - actually no don't do that!

Essie - got to agree with everyone else, you are totally in the right here, bit childish of him to switch his mobile off when you could go into labour, hope you sort this out before you do.

SA - good luck for this afternoon!

Puddock - good to hear from you, are you still at work this week then? (Work is seeming like a distant memory to me!)

Mellymell - Hope things start to get moving for you, am shocked at the girl from work emailing you, last thing you want to be thinking about now.

Little baby bird is still stuck in the yard, am I being overly optomistic expecting him to learn to fly today and fly away to a long and fruitful sparrow life?

ktpie - after watching a lot of wildlife SOS I think the baby bird might be better off in the great forest in the sky. They don't do so good unless they are in an incubator being fed worms every 2 hours and I guess you don't have this capacity?

Essie - I'm not surprised you're so angry. I don't expect it's any comfort, but it's exactly the sort of thing my DH would do, too. Is his hearing likely to settle or otherwise come out of his diary?

Mellymel - hello! Deb, DM and I all share your pain (same due date).

I had reflexology today and told the therapist how pissed off I am. It really helped and was lovely and relaxing. She is amazed that I haven't delivered yet - she said the baby can't get any lower without seeing the outside world. Hopefully it will work - the baby is certainly very active and I'm feeling lots of pressure down below.

Afterwards, just as I was getting into my "zone" and feeling relaxed, DH phoned up from work to rant about builders, money, tax bills blah blah blah and give me a list of hideous jobs to do that involve being Very Firm with builders. And he always finishes off these rants by saying "I'm trying to support us all here while you're drinking coffee" which I HATE. It's the biggest bone of contention between us. At the moment I just don't want to hear about real-world worries but he just doesn't get it.

Will have some rlt and chocolate and try to get relaxed again

Rolf - oh man I am with you too!!! My DP also says things like can you do XYZ seeing as you're sitting on your arse all day and I'm out earning a crust - like I have a choice!!

MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Essie and Melly - Think you are both completely justified to be p'd off.

Essie - I would feel hurt in your shoes too, esp as this will be such a big work thing for you, you don't want to be worrying about your little one as well. However, as others have said perhaps a professional will be the best person to look after him/her - they won't be constantly contacting you when you need to concentrate.

Re: DH turning his phone off, I would be going flipping mad! In fact, where in London is he? I will track him down right now and show him just how unreasonable someone that is due tomorrow can really be! (I seem to recall from my hazy law degree that we can be exempt from murder on grounds of hormones/insanity or something....I keep telling my DH that anyway and the threat seems to work ).

Melly - Sounds like your cover can't cope and is trying to make you the scapegoat! Try and take pride in the fact that she simply isn't good enough to do your job, rather than focussing on what a cow she is being. NB: I seem to recall that contacting a woman on mat leave is a very sensitive HR issue re: harassment, etc. My HR background is chiefly systems and pension based, but I know we couldn't exclude mat leavers from taking part in appraisals if they wanted to, but equally should not be contacting them to do it either based on some sexual discrim ruling. I'm sure someone with more HR Employment Relations issues will be able to tell you more...DramaQueen?

Puddock, I know what you mean about feeling part of a gang. I'm genuinely aggrieved for Essie and Melly, yet I've never met them and don't even know their real names! And I am so happy whenever one of this thread pops, as well as being insanely jealous as well obviously.

Today is a good day again today - I seem to have finally learnt how to do nothing much without feeling too guilty about it. Ironically it has taken me 30 years to get to this stage and once I pop I will probably never get the chance to do nothing again!

Essie - You have every right to be furious with your dh, but like the others have said a Nursery Nurse at this stage won't be a problem for the baby.

SA - good luck with the appointment

Sybil - how exciting for you, fingers crossed that your baby is here shortly after a relaxing water birth.

Ernest Congratulations!!!

Harvey's temp has gone down which is a relief! I really worry when babies are ill.

Hi all, been to see the mw now and not in labour (although, it has crossed my mind to tell DH that I actually am...on his answerphone because his phone is still off. GRRRRR).

Rolf - it is very much a lawyer thing, I think, because changing plans/cancelling things etc is something that happens all the time. I just flipped today, though, because the talk is such an important thing. (It's the Selden Soc! Beware - I might get your DH to babysit!!)

Thanks for all the support and good noises, though - I'm not joking, I was kicking and screaming earlier on. Builders outside probably thought I was having the baby. Shame anger can't bring on labour, I'd be a mother by now!

I agree with Puddock and Penguin - it's lovely being here, and a real support network! I'm always telling my mum and DH (when I'm speaking to him...) about so-and-so on Mumsnet etc. Quite funny when I'm talking about Penguins and Bigpants!

Will now go and cut the grass - mw suggested walking, and mowing the lawn might bring things on! Will imagine I'm slicing off little penises.

Sorry about the last comment, I really am irrationally !!

Amber - You are right about the bird, no incubator or worms here and in reality I think it's unlikely to last the day. Think I will save for DH the job of fishing out it's remains when he gets home for work.

Yep, still at work this week - from home today, then back in the office tomorrow and Friday (the 13th!) - then a couple of weeks of sitting about knitting bootees and watching DVDs I guess. My PGP (the condition formerly known as SPD!) has got worse lately so I'm keen to stop now.
IKWM about a zone Rolf - my DP has decided that we will need to halve our mortgage (sell flat in W London, move somewhere cheaper but still commutable) so he's doing all sorts of research into that. I know he's right but there's a bit of my brain going 'la la la' because I just can't get into thinking about all that when I'm in about-to-have-a-baby mode. I even think that the baby might not want to emerge if I feel somehow insecure where I am, so not engaging with the topic is some sort of self-preservation, and not just, you know, me being really flaky and annoying

Essie - I wouldn't have said you were irrational given the circumstances. Enjoy the lawn mowing!

G43 - glad to hear Harvey's temperature has gone down.

ok, put 3 pictures on, my favourite, with the 3 boys all cuddling her, wouldn't work, will fiddle later.

For those who have popped - wha are you wearing? I feel hideous in everyting. I felt great in my mat. gear, now I feel fat, wobbly and HATE the breast pad outline showing through my tops. I am hideous .

Midwife just been, and I was proud to be doing so well, but she reckoned my scar looks bad and ordered me to lie down more. I find this very difficlut and feel really lazy, and wouldn't ask for anyone to fetch me anything, which is very inconvenient. GF - what have you been told about c-section recovery? I remember after ds1, my scar healed really badly and took ages, and I need to avoid this at all costs.

g43, congrats on Harvey - still trying to get up to speed. Glad his temp has gone down, it worries me massively too - even my 8 year old baby

Aw lovely pics Ernest.

essie - sympathies to you over DH, can't believe he still has his phone switched off. Amazing how men can 'switch off' while we'll be fuming and unable to think about anything else. I hope everthing sorts itself out

melly - how insensitive for that girl to call you! people just don't have a clue. I got a call from HR yesterday saying that I couldn't start my official mat leave on 24 june because that's a tuesday and it has to start on a sunday. Well given that I informed them in Feb and have been struggling to get them to talk to me about it since, it's a bit late now that I'm on hol until mat leave and I really don't want to hear about these problems now. Grrr!

rolf - I know what you mean about not wanting to know about 'real life' problems! Anything like that is stressing me out at the min - had some stuff to sort out last week and my bp went sky high

systemsaddict - hope all went well in the hospital this afternoon?