August 2021 - Scans and booking in!

[BertieBotts]

Continuation of August 2021 thread :)

And for those who would like to read up more on NIPT testing, there's useful information here: www.arc-uk.org/tests-explained/non-invasive-prenatal-testing-nipt. Different tests have different sensitivities and test for different conditions so if you're interested, you'd need to read up on the particular test, there's plenty if information available online and the NHS can also advise you. In fact if there are concerns about NT at the booking scan, NIPT is usually offered as the next step on the NHS anyway.

Thank you you lot. I’m having a hard time with believing I’m up to the challenge at the moment. I think it’s hormones alongside my adhd and I’m seriously wallowing in the self-doubt. Thank you

@LBunz Please don't 💐 I can imagine it's easier said than done but a lot of the extras stem from medical history affecting previous/current pregnancies. In most pregnancies these are rarely considered. You are doing just fine, remember that 😊 xx

@LBunz although I was chilled out in my first pregnancy I knew next to nothing. In many ways, that's the best way to be. I wish I could go back to that. Enjoy your pregnancy because it truly is a wonderful thing. Please don't compare to others who have had complicated histories. It's true that comparison is the thief of joy.
My advice is when offered, do the antenatal courses. Even do NCT if it's viable for you. Be aware of your birth choices.
Other than that, enjoy and don't stress over the "stuff" you're told you need (babies need very little). The minute your baby is in your arms, you'll know what to do. For everything else, there's help available xx

@LBunz honestly as well please speak to your MW about your concerns. They're not just there to take bloods. If you need any support around your ADHD and mental health, they can facilitate that. The earlier the better as NHS referrals can take a while xx

@Alittlexmasmagic “Comparison is the thief of joy” I love that! So true!

Thank you @PurplePansy05, I did wonder if there’s a hormone surge around now but couldn’t find much about it? 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Alittlexmasmagic I totally agree. My first pregnancy I read up nor researched anything and I'm so glad because I think that contributed to my easy straight forward birth. I aim to do the same this time otherwise I'll stress myself out. Sometimes naive is the way to be !

Well I really wish I could have stayed happy and naive in pregnancy, alas for some of us this was not a choice we could make following multiple losses. I really feel judged by some of the comments on here and I don't think that's fair.

@MrsB2019x It's more of a drop, not a surge, I believe, they're levelling down now xx

@PurplePansy05 everyone has a different experience and you are doing wonderfully. It makes sense to want more testing with what you've been through. Just enjoy the happiness of this day and the news about your little boy!

I am now 12 weeks, have had a healthy scan and know about risks for chromosonal disorders... so I'm thinking it's ok to tell more friends and family? My close family and plenty of friends already know, but it seems safe now to spread it a bit more widely, right?

@WolfMother326 Thank you 🌺 I appreciate your words. I just think there's no need for certain comments, if some people don't want to engage in certain discussions, there really is nothing and no one forcing them to. If they don't want to know more or research then fine, just scroll down instead of picking and rubbing things in, it's really unnecessary.

@PurplePansy05 trust me I didn't wish for it to come across that way and I wholeheartedly apologise if it did. I've experienced loss, as I said I wish I could go back to the mindset of my first pregnancy. The stuff I've learnt since that loss... terrifies me and I wouldn't wish that on any mum to be. All we can do is manage our feelings as best as we are able. There's no right way or wrong way, just the best way for us with the cards we've been dealt.xx

@PurplePansy05 I don't really know what you mean. I have also suffered losses ... I had a MMC back in may last year and had a termination at 16 weeks due to medical reasons. People with anxiety have their own coping mechanisms and mine is making sure that I don't research anything. I'm not saying it's wrong for anyone else to do it I'm just saying I can't do it for my own mental health. Also not picking up things and running in just saying to other users that they shouldn't feel they have to research and are useless if they don't want to ?

@lucyrp Your posts were picky and I'm surprised with your tone if this is your history. Empathy works both ways, I am not forcing you to engage with me and what I do in this pregnancy and I would appreciate if you weren't querying mosts of my posts and approach which you've been doing regularly. I wish you all the best, can we just be respectful please. If you are not interested and don't want to know because it makes you feel better, then just leave me to it as my coping mechanism is opposite to yours.

@PurplePansy05 I thought the whole idea of threads is to reply to each other ... I don't know what other threads you've been on if you don't know common mumsnet ways .. I just asked you what tests you were talking about and you didn't even answer me

I did answer you @lucyrp, I posted a full post with the links, I did not tag anyone specifically. Your tone has been off, every topic brought up or developed by me has been picked on and brushed off by you. Can you just please leave me be, thank you.

@PurplePansy05 well frankly I felt like you were mocking me a few days ago when I was getting worried about my scan date .. I didn't complain about you did I

I can't believe this @lucyrp, I took time to advise you to call the hospital and that your other half is legally entitled to be with you at antenatal appointments, if that is "mocking" then I really give up. You're just being nasty now and that's that. Best of luck, please can we finish the conversation now as clearly there us no need for engagement between the two of us.

@PurplePansy05 and @lucyrp not to jump in here and I will stay out of it - but I definitely think this is a case of things reading very differently in writing/text than they would in a conversation. also, as we are all pregnant ladies, emotions running high and things being interpreted in a different way than they were probably meant

@LBunz I have ADHD as well :) Happy to talk ADHD and pregnancy/parenting any time. There is also a lovely ADHD/autism support thread here on MN in a section called MNers with special needs, you need to navigate to it manually on the talk topics page or go into Customise and un-hide it for it to show up in Active.

@PurplePansy05 I hope you didn't think my comment about tests being stressful/unnecessary was aimed at you. For those of us with medical history they are so helpful and reassuring and it's brilliant that you can get the info so early with little risk.

@PurplePansy05 I must have read it wrong then. I'm sorry but it basically sounded like you were saying to stop being so silly and just wait for the letter. Which is easier said than done. I'm not being nasty at all it's obviously the way you're reading my tone of voice and vice versa. As @WolfMother326 were obviously interpreting each other's words the wrong way x

@BertieBotts @Alittlexmasmagic Absolutely not, you have nothing to apologise for at all - I find your posts are always both informative and supportive and am very grateful for you sharing your wisdom and experience.

@lucyrp You misunderstood, fine. I stand by what I asked for, if you don't want to engage in certain discussions because you feel this is best for your MH then I respect that and that's entirely your choice. I really am not forcing anyone to engage, but equally do not wish to feel uncomfortable discussing and sharing which is how your posts made me feel, after all this forum is made for sharing and I wouldn't know half of the things I do now if I didn't learn from other ladies, and chose to engage on certain topics with them.

Hi folks,

I think I read about a little
Hormonal surge as the placenta takes over?
Although maybe some of you have already passed that stage. I’ve felt more nauseous today too.

I completely agree with @WolfMother326, writing short messages it is very hard to get across intent, and easy for this to be misunderstood - and almost certainly easier on a board of hormonal, slightly anxious women (apologies to those who don’t
Identify with the descriptor and are just lurking to help!)

Also even when we have similar histories each will have brought different life experience to the situation, and different coping strategies, so important to be careful not to assume one’s experience of loss is the same as another (and I call myself out on that one, it’s easier said than done).

I’ve really appreciated scrolling through people having similar experiences and anxieties, so hope the thread can continue in a supportive way.

@PurplePansy05 I have scan tmrw too. RMC- still no date for dating scan, hopefully will find out date of formal scan on Thurs when I have bloods with MW.