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Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

Dec19/Jan20 IVF Graduates - Thread 2

993 replies

Chooklass · 31/03/2020 14:35

New thread for us all to keep in touch. Think we're all nearing the end of the first trimester or dipping our toes into the second ... how far we've come since the days of agonising over stims!

Link to old thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/birth_clubs/3812203-Dec19-Jan20-IVF-Graduates

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33
justkeeprunning5 · 27/04/2020 14:23

Those asking about telling work, totally personal preference and if it had not been for CV I would probably have put it off for as long as was feasible but I ended up telling mine when pregnant women were advised to stay home as I was still needed in the office, so 7 weeks. Certainly not something I would have done under normal circumstances but they have been great so I’m glad I told them.

Scan tomorrow, so nervous. I’ve read far too much into MMC... my symptoms come and go over the last week (sometimes more tired, headaches) which I guess is normal for nearing the end of the first trimester. I just need to get in there and know for sure now, the last few days before a scan are always the worst aren’t they. And I have too much time to think!

October2020 · 27/04/2020 14:26

Good luck for your scan @justkeeprunning5 . Easy to say but try not to worry about the fluctuating symptoms. Mine have been all over the place- and are arguably much worse now than they were in the first trimester!! Body obviously not reading the rulebook...

The last days before a scan are horrendous. Thinking of you xx

justkeeprunning5 · 27/04/2020 14:35

Thank you @October2020, I’m sure all will be ok. Will let you know how I get on tomorrow.

Chooklass · 27/04/2020 15:36

@October2020 and @Lily999 - I think the hardness depends on how your uterus sits? Mine is angled forward (they told me during an ivf scan once) which must be why I've felt it since 10 weeks, as it pokes out! Think this might be why I haven't had the needing a wee all the time feeling that everyone else seems to get? (Not complaining!). Yours are maybe just sat further in but could pop out suddenly! Difficult not to compare everything though 😂

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Chooklass · 27/04/2020 15:36

Good luck tomorrow @justkeeprunning5 !

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Lily999 · 27/04/2020 15:41

@October2020 I am the master of getting into the state... DH is so mad at me btw as he caught me poking my belly, he completely freaked out asking what am I doing why would anyone do that knowing there is a little growing life trying to survive? So I stopped.

Yes, next week will be busy with the midwife and Harmony scan, @justkeeprunning5 I totally get that, as soon as I can say "scan is next week" I go crazy and start counting the days, hours. I think it probably started with IVF and now we just can't help it, as this is the way for us to cope.

I wouldn't worry about the symptoms and I also was going on and on about MMC as I think that is the absolute worst kind, but try and think of how rare it is and that you really have no reason to think it is happening to you. x

Viletta · 27/04/2020 17:24

@justkeeprunning5 good luck for your scan! Let us know how the little one is doing!

I ordered some cotton knickers from amazing and some pregnancy ones for later. Looking forward to getting them. My lacy ones that I normally wear no problem are just so uncomfortable right now. I used to be comfy in pretty much everything I wear but now I truly appreciate soft stretchy not tight materials and feels so increasingly nice wearing these!

To everyone who is worried about their bump being too soft or too tight, I wouldn't worry. It's perfect as it is as long as you mama are feeling well! Try to find a way to calm your worries now as there will be so much more potential for worry in the future. I know easier said than done but don't worry unless you have to.

FlapJackered · 27/04/2020 22:08

We had some bad news this morning turns out the baby is high risk for Downs syndrome. Risk is 1/130 so could be worse but considering normal risk is in the 1000s it's not good 😢
We have booked an NIPT test for tomorrow and get the results in a week so it's going to be a very anxious wait. I just wish I had done more research into the quad test and we had booked the NIPT straight away when they couldn't get the NT measurement, as apparently the quad test is the least accurate of the tests.
I just feel like all the security and happiness I was feeling has just come crashing down. 😭

Wimbledon1 · 27/04/2020 22:16

Ooh, tomorrow @justkeeprunning5?! Good luck! 🍀 As others have said I know what you mean about the build up to a scan, you feel for weeks like you want it and then when it's on you it's so scary you'd almost rather not. You have no reason to think there is any problem though. I had almost no symptoms in first trimester. You will be fine. Send us an update!

@Lily999 I didn't realise you'd had a miscarriage just before a 12 week scan before. So sorry. By next week though the risk is down to under 1% though so keep positive. It is hard isn't it, after all the IVF treatment I think we all worry more than normal.

Speaking of which, had my 16 week MW appointment today, over the phone. Basically consisted of me running through a risk of niggles (lightening crotch, anyone been unfortunate enough to have that yet?!) and her telling me not to worry and all of them were normal. Apparently even including my weight loss. I presume they would have more tests/Doppler, etc in-person but it was over very quickly on the phone. Not necessarily the most fulfilling if I'm honest! 😂 Brave yourselves if you also are having phone ones.

@Viletta one thing she did push hard one was discomfort I'd described in the bladder. Apparently UTIs are super common in pregnancy, and one of the best things you can do (other than massively hydrate) is wear cotton underwear only. Is that why you orders yours? If not, good side benefit!

Wimbledon1 · 27/04/2020 22:27

Oh no @FlapJackered - I hadn't seen your message when I started typing mine. I'm so sorry to hear you've had worrying news. 😢 So this is in the basis of the quad blood tests? Which as you say are not the most accurate, and your sonographer had said from what she could see of the NT it looked fine? So it should all still be ok? But I absolutely understand you being worried. At least with the NIPT you will know for total sure, that is very accurate. It takes a week to get the result does it? Ugh....

Sending hugs 💕

October2020 · 28/04/2020 07:48

@FlapJackered I'm so sorry you've had worrying news today. It's hard enough to hear the news and then even worse to have to wait so long to find out the next results. I hope the NIPT goes okay today. Keep talking to us here through the waiting it it helps, and apparent the ARC website is amazing for support and information too. I find those statistics so weird because normally 1 in 130 would be such a low number - imagine trying to pick one blue skittle out of 129 other red ones! But when it's these tests it is so so so worrying. Will be thinking of you today and this week x

Lily999 · 28/04/2020 10:17

@FlapJackered sorry to hear you got scary news yesterday, we are also going for a NIPT scan not for the same reason, but I would also like to see it in black and white. When I called them they explained how the 2procedures / checks are entirely different from each other and the accuracy of the NIPT is incredibly high compared to the NHS that is understandable as the NIPT is a rather advanced and expensive procedure. Try to think about this part as it did give me comfort. The cut off is 1:150, people have 1:30 and even 1:7 then the NIPT still comes back over 1:10000.

Also I hope it helps that apart from the NT measurement if a baby has Down syndrome you wouldn't be able to see the nasal bone at 12weeks and I looked back, your baby definitely had it. If the nasal bone is there already it reduces the chances significantly for Down syndrome. xxx

@Wimbledon1 luckily I didn't have a miscarriage, what made you think that? xxx

DobbieFreeElf · 28/04/2020 11:23

@FlapJackered Sorry to hear that you’ve got this result, try not to worry too much, fingers crossed for your NIPT xx

Viletta · 28/04/2020 11:45

@FlapJackered hi there lovely, arch I am sorry to hear about the results. It's definitely not massively accurate and it's great that you booked the harmony test to double check and put your mind at ease. If this comes back high risk there is always amniocentesis that gives a yes or no. Don't think about this yet or what happens next. Take one step at a time and prepare for the harmony test and what can you do next. When will you get the results?

@Wimbledon1 I had my phone 16w call too. Don't have problems with the bladder and luckily my thrush cleared out on its own when I stopped progesterone. Looking forward to getting my cotton panties. The midwife mentioned safe sleeping position in the book and that indeed it's time to start thinking about not sleeping on your back. She said it's fine for me to sleep on my stomach up until it gets uncomfortable.

Lily999 · 28/04/2020 13:09

Yesterday I had definite PMS symptoms, so a bit concerned now as I know miscarriage is most likely when you would normally get your period (8th, 12th and 16th weeks) and I would have my PMS now. I was incredibly annoyed, emotional and started crying because my maternity jeans arrived and they were too big.

I was very hormonal in the first trimester, however it stopped and I got back to being totally fine. So now not sure what to make out of this. I know the exact feeling of PMS emotional break down and it was that for sure.... :/

October2020 · 28/04/2020 13:24

Don't panic @Lily999. I'm very hormonal this week too and my periods definitely were never ever 4 weeks apart so this would not be a normal cycle time for me. My boobs are also very sore too so my hormones are obviously doing something but it would be the wrong time for me to have a period. Which hopefully reassures you that this might be a 15 week thing and not a period thing!

Lily999 · 28/04/2020 13:40

Thank you @October2020 I honestly didn't know what to think especially since I was not emotional/hormonal at all over the last couple of weeks. xx

October2020 · 28/04/2020 13:47

@Lily999 - look at me sounding all calm about it, I'm a mess this week! Anxiety through the roof. But hopefully that reassures you that someone else is experiencing it too.

If you're worried though I would definitely ring your midwife - mine has been brilliant with my multiple anxiety meltdowns Confused

When's your next scan or appointment? I don't think my anxiety is helped this week by having my midwife appointment, consultant appointment and scan all NEXT week - this week feels like a whole week of waiting for bad news.

October2020 · 28/04/2020 13:53

Just saw this on Instagram. Helped me!

Dec19/Jan20 IVF Graduates - Thread 2
Chooklass · 28/04/2020 14:03

Thinking of you @FlapJackered . Glad you're getting the test and I'm sure all will be fine - even with those odds it's a very slim chance xx

@Lily999 I've been hormonal too, up and down all over the place. Lockdown is having effects on lots of people's mental health now too, and IVF altered our normal cycles so we're dealing with a lot - not sure bygone menstrual cycles can be untangled from it all really! (And your jeans will probably fit before you know it!) x

OP posts:
Chooklass · 28/04/2020 14:05

@October2020 Thanks! 'Control the controllables, ignore the rest' is one of my mantras when I'm feeling stressed out! Xx

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Lily999 · 28/04/2020 14:31

Ah thank you girls, I have no idea what I would do without your support!
@October2020 I am the same as my midwife appointment is NEXT Wednesday when they will listen to the heartbeat plus measure my belly, then the NIPT scan is on Saturday NEXT week as well, I feel now the same way as I felt before the 12week scan when I was doubting the baby is still there / still growing.

Thanks @Chooklass I am sending them back as if I ever fit in these jeans it means I am having triplets at least! :) It literally didn't stay on my body and what I needed is to have something for Wednesday to wear for my appt as right now all I have is joggings and my yoga pants plus PJ's, so my sister saved the day as she sent over her maternity jeans so today is a happy day. The annoying bit is that it wasn't free shipping or free return so now I am down a tenner and have bought nothing. Grr... Stupid pandemic! Buying clothes was never my thing, and now I don't even know my body so it's even worse.

Anyhow thank you for assuring me I am not alone with the PMS emotional breakdowns, it means a lot. xxx

October2020 · 28/04/2020 14:46

@Lily999 I think you and I have got a bad case of scanxiety!! I think particularly because I can't feel a bump, I'm totally panicked about seeing the midwife on Monday. Spent more time than I should have done yesterday reading threads where the midwife can't find the heartbeat.... 99.99999% turn out fine after a scan but of course the one I've focused on turned out to be a missed miscarriage Sad and now I'm convinced that's going to be what happens to me. Then I've got the consultant which is not going to be a good conversation because I'm at quite high risk. Aaaaaargh.

Okay. Back to not worrying about things I cannot control!!!!

justkeeprunning5 · 28/04/2020 16:16

Thinking of you @FlapJackered . Good to hear you have the extra test booked and as others have said the chance of there being a problem is slim. Sending good thoughts your way.

justkeeprunning5 · 28/04/2020 16:19

Thank you all for the support, had the scan and baby is doing very well and was moving all over the place on the screen. Blood tests etc back same day and they all look good too combined with the scan. Get to finally stop the medication tonight too which is nice after being on them since early January. Xx