Dec19/Jan20 IVF Graduates - Thread 2

[Chooklass]

New thread for us all to keep in touch. Think we're all nearing the end of the first trimester or dipping our toes into the second ... how far we've come since the days of agonising over stims!

Link to old thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/birth_clubs/3812203-Dec19-Jan20-IVF-Graduates

@justkeeprunning5 congrats!! So glad your scan went well. That's great news x

@justkeeprunning5 that's fantastic news, you can relax now.

@October2020 your diagnosis just fits me perfectly! I know I am hormonal, but this one is PMS, I know it way too well. Just need next week to go well now, that will help me. I can't see anything else working other than knowing that 16weeks passed without bleeding then I can move on. Why do we always find something to worry about? I am super mad at myself now :)

Why do you have consultation? Is that for a birth plan or something?

Consultant is to discuss the uterine abnormality and what they can do. I've spent the week googling which is a really bad idea. The 'best' statistic I can find is a 13% chance of miscarriage/stillbirth from here. The worst is 78% . Plus loads of risks of abnormalities with the baby etc. Feeling so awful about it all. Hoping that by some miracle the consultant will be able to reassure me that all is okay but I think that's unlikely. Just focusing on getting through one day at a time at the moment. Every day is a day closer to that 24 week viability date.

Oh, I see yes, it is a bad idea, I learnt it the hard way myself when I had the low papp-a results back. whenever I started googling the word stillbirth kept coming back and it freaked me out as you can imagine. However after a while I realised we can go dig out these percentages all day long, but at the end it doesn't mean much as you can be in the 78%, or can be in the other 22%, these chances are all based on random groups of people there is no way to predict which way our cases will go.

I was surprised when I found out how uncommon late miscarriage is (1%) as the forums are full of them. So I don't remember who said it before, but it's very true that women having pregnancies without any issues will not post, but you will find the stories that end badly because those women do feel they need to share their cases, that I can completely understand. Forums, chats will never give us the correct impression for this reason.

All we can do is what the whole IVF process thought us so annoyingly well: is to wait. xx

@Wimbledon1 @Lily999 @October2020 @Chooklass @DobbieFreeElf @Viletta @justkeeprunning5
Thank you so much for all your wise and calming words, I can't tell you how much it helped. You ladies are amazing ❤️
Had the scan and feel much better, baby has none of the markers of Down syndrome and as you mentioned @Lily999 the nose bridge was fully formed. (Thank you so much for telling me that as I had no idea and it definitely took the edge off the worry!)
We are not out of the woods with it yet though and will have to wait to see what the blood test comes back with next week.
Urgh the worries just don't stop do they!

@October2020 I am sorry you're in limbo. I know you already know this (and I definitely was guilty of this last night!) but try not to google, it's always worst case scenario on google and there isn't an answer for your situation. I will keep everything crossed all is well and you get some reassurance at the consultation. X

@justkeeprunning5 that's great your scan went well, it is such a relief seeing the little wriggler in black and white. 😍

@justkeeprunning5 congratulations on your scan! Also on stopping the meds, it does feel fantastic finally not taking anything but your vitamin!

Hi everyone - it made me smile reading back on today's thread as everyone is doing a brilliant job at reassuring each other with sensible thoughts and advice, while simultaneously being worried!! Think we would actually all go mad if we didn't have each other's worries to share. As someone said, it's the the bloody IVF factor, just means it's been extra hard for everyone to even get here. But we have!

(And @October2020, whatever the odds, if it's 13% or 78%, bet you have already totally defied them by getting to 14 weeks. The consultant will talk you through everything you can control to make best sure as you can that continues :)

Sorry @Lily999 - I totally misunderstood where you said you were worried the pregnancy wasn't real or was gone, and that you'd been there before just before 12 weeks. I thought you meant in the past you'd had a MC just before 12 weeks. But I now see you mean you had the anxiety then this pregnancy. Sorry 🙈

Congratulations @justkeeprunning5 on your good scan, it's so cute to see the baby move isn't it! So happy for you.... relax and enjoy. Did you get a pic?

Also really pleased to hear no markers for DS for your little one @FlapJackered. Great tip that about the nasal bone, I went back and checked mine after reading that too. Do keep us posted when you hear but I have confidence you'll be all good 😊

Morning Ladies! As of today I am officially in week 15, baby is the size of an avocado, so gave one to DH this morning pointing out that's how big your boy or girl is, he was shocked saying, that's so huge! :)

@FlapJackered I am glad you are feeling better and that pointing out the nasal bone helped, it did also help me when I had the scan as I had it right before Easter and was told the results might get delayed due to the break. How was the NIPT? I am so curious and don't really know what to expect, is it a scan and a blood test? I heard we might need to post the blood sample ourselves?

@Wimbledon1 I just realised you are right, over the last couple of days we all were trying to support each other with their worries whilst we were doing the exact opposite of our own advices :D

Anyone started the prevention of stretch marks yet?

Laughing at posting off vials of your own blood - I did that for one of my IVF blood tests and I felt like a criminal!!!! It was so weird! I'm interested in what the NIPT is too as I've never looked into it.

Congrats on 15 weeks @Lily999. I'm definitely not even bothering trying to prevent stretch marks, I've got so many scars from surgery before IVF I just can't be arsed. Ive been using vitamin e liquid on my tummy when my skin feels a bit tight like when I was super bloated before egg collection. It was recommended to me by a dermatologist for some other scarring and I would say it's quite good. Cheap from holland and barratt too.

@Lily999 I've been using Palmer's cream for stretch marks, it's inexpensive and really nice.

Also doing some pregnancy yoga, did this one yesterday. No downward facing dog or anything tricky!

@Viletta thanks for the yoga link, will give that a go!

Finally got my 20 week scan appointment through... I'll actually be 19+2. Glad it is early instead of late, less waiting!

Forced myself to pay for NCT classes and order a pregnancy pillow today. A small victory over the voice telling me it has all gone wrong....

@October2020 well done! Let me know which pillow you got and if you like it when it arrives!

Is anyone else noticing how much their eating is effecting their looking pregnant (or not). In the evenings now after my dinner I look pretty big and in a clingy jumper I'm undeniably pregnant. But when I wake up in the morning, if I look in the mirror and suck my belly in it almost entirely goes away to flat. How can this be? Am I in fact just binging bloat 😬😂

@Wimbledon1 definitely the same here. By the evening I'm definitely obviously pregnant but I'm lying in bed at the moment sucking my tummy in and poking it and I'm sure there is no noticeable difference from before......... which is why I'm so worried.

Midwife tomorrow. Praying there is a heartbeat.

@Wimbledon1 and @October2020 same here! Its normal, there is less room inside so all the food bloat goes outside. The uterus is moving in and out depending on whether you stand or lie on your spine. As they said best not to at some point for prolonged periods of time as when it's going down it's pressing on the artery. Also I notice big difference depending if I let my muscles relax. I read if you have good muscle tone your belly will be flat for longer

@October2020 @Lily999
NIPT was a really detailed scan where she measured and checked everything from heart valves to blood flow, leg and arms bones sizes and bladder and stomach. Much clearer and more precise than any scan I have had so far.
Then she just asked some questions took my blood and that was it! I will get a call on Tuesday probably where she will run through the results then I will get an email with it in black and white...and the sex!

@Wimbledon1 @October2020 @Viletta
I am definitely bigger in the evening, my dad even commented on how I was almost the same size as my sister (who is 37 weeks) 🤦‍♀️
I am worried the other way as my bump I think is too big for 17 weeks? Pic is me this morning (excuse unmade bed!)
I have just found out I have an anterior placenta so wonder if that effects it, or I just have rubbish stomach muscles.🙈 I know it's normal to not show until even 20 weeks though as one of my best friends was only just showing at her 20 week scan and all was well.

@FlapJackered you have a super cute bump! Everyone is different and unique in their bodies. Mine is I'd say as big! Good news that the scan went well and no concerns there!

Thanks for the cream tips girls!

@Wimbledon1 I can no longer suck my belly in, if I try the top (above my belly button) goes back in, but the below part doesn't change at all when I stand. If I lie on my back that's a different story, but trying not to do that, however if we watch something before falling asleep from bed I realised I am lying on my back, not sure whether that's an issue. Also it doesn't really change during the day, maybe more tight when I have to pee.? But it's still soft :(

@FlapJackered thanks for letting me know what to expect, I wish DH could come in to see the detailed scan since it is £400, but as usual: safety comes first. He is very understanding, but I know he feels left out. Wish we could get a recording or something like that from the private clinic. Did you get pictures?
I don't think it's possible to be too big, but maybe it's just me thinking out loud. :) We really do worry about everything! Belly is still soft at 15weeks btw, drives me crazy. My uterus must be somewhere deep inside...

@October2020 will be thinking of you tomorrow! Glad you got the 20week scan appointment, mine is 19+5, also happy it's sooner rather than later.

@Viletta thank you for the yoga video, will give it a go tonight!

Sorry @FlapJackered also wanted to add I can see on the picture the pregnancy glow ;) :) (sorry it was supposed to be a bad joke about the flash)

Thanks everyone for the reassurance that this isn't just me. What you said @Viletta about there being less stomach space so it expands around it makes sense. Although makes me look at bump and think "ugh, that's mostly pasta!" 😂

@FlapJackered I really don't think you look 37 weeks, haha. Your sister must be mini! I also don't think you can have too big a bump don't worry. Mine is probably as big as that picture, but in the evening. But in the mornings by breathing in I can almost make it vanish, it's so odd. Examples of both below. (Excuse washing in background)

I know everyone's body is different but I almost have two bodies right now, haha!!

@Viletta and @Littlelot - you are the furthest ahead and both coming up to week 18 I think? Just wondered if you'd felt any movement yet? Seems it could be anywhere from around 17 but many women don't feel it this side of their anomaly scan? I keep trying to sit still and see if I notice anything but the odd twinge is very hard to decipher and put down to a tiny foot!

@Wimbledon1 I'm 16wks and am sure I can feel it moving now! Usually when I'm curled up on sofa and like a flutter or swoosh right where I can feel the hard part of my 'bump', probably only once or twice a day but always in exact same place. I know it's early but I asked a couple of friends who've had kids and they said it sounded right! 😍 It makes me grin from ear to ear 😃!

@Wimbledon1 you have a definite bump there. I can suck my belly in the morning to an almost pre-pregnancy look. But if relaxed it's out there. I am quite perplexed about feeling the movements. I read description of what it may feel like at this age and it seems quite subtle. I feel so many different sensations down there: ligaments stretching, uterus expanding, flatulence, my own heart beating right there, it's really hard to feel any other subtle things and also distinguish them from the orchestra of sensations down there.

@Lily999 I am sorry your DH isn't allowed to join for the NiPT. It is really hard when they can't be involved.
Luckily my DH was actually allowed in at our scan. He was also allowed to take pictures with his phone and we got some print outs. It was a small private clinic though rather than a hospital so maybe that was why? Hopefully they will let you take some photos. 🤞

Thanks @Viletta that is good to know we are at a similar size. I do like the bump, it's definitely reassuring, but there is always a worry whatever the situation 🤦‍♀️😂

@Wimbledon1 lovely bump! 😍 I can suck mine in a bit in the morning but it probably means you have much better ab muscles than me! 😂 it's good to know we are all fairly similar though!
I have been told I probably won't feel movement until quite a bit later as I have an anterior placenta ( at the front). I am glad I know about it or I would probably start panicking about that! 🙄

@Chooklass that is so lovely you are beginning to feel the wriggler. It must be an amazing feeling. 😍

@October2020 good luck with the midwife today, keeping everything crossed for you for a nice strong heartbeat 💗 x