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Dec19/Jan20 IVF Graduates

(962 Posts)
BambiOnIce80 Sun 02-Feb-20 13:19:12

Graduate thread for all the amazing ladies who have endured infertility and are hopefully now starting a new chapter🤞

@Littlelot @Viletta @candycornlover @FlapJackered @Wimbledon1

I got my BFP on Tuesday the 28th and am feeling pretty symptom free today (so obviously panicking that it's all going wrong! 😣). 7 week scan due to be Tuesday the 18th and it feels like a long way away with symptoms going awol! 😥 POAS this morning and it looks spot on for where I should be, so trying to take some comfort from that 🤞🤞🤞

FlapJackered Sun 02-Feb-20 16:06:09

Thanks @BambiOnIce80 🤩
I can't believe we are actually off the conception/infertility boards! Fingers crossed it stays that way for all of us 🤞

That is so exciting seeing the weeks! I did a CB digital today, there is something amazing seeing those words after so long!
I am going to test again with a frer tomorrow just to check the line hasn't got any lighter then we are going to tell my parents. They knew we were doing IVF so are probably waiting for the phone to ring 😂
Have you told your family yet?

Bestofyou1982 Sun 02-Feb-20 16:23:50

Such a good idea to set up this new thread. You ladies have been such a source of reassurance.
Are we all due (assuming pregnancies continued as planned) in October?

BambiOnIce80 Sun 02-Feb-20 16:51:58

I knew I'd flipping miss someone with the tagging!! I'm so sorry @Bestofyou1982! 😰 So glad you found us ❤️ All being well (🤞), I'm guessing we'll all be due in the same week so far (that's crazy to think, isn't it?! 🤯) 🤔 I put my ET date for a 5dt into the flo due date calculator and it says I'd be due 06.10.20... I still feel like I'm jinxing it everytime I dare to think that far ahead though! 😳🔮

Glad to see I'm not the only one who couldn't resist the digital @FlapJackered! 😂 I actually pee'd on an IC OPK yesterday to make sure I still had a nice strong line! 🤣 They cross-react with hCG and I've got loads of them left over from pre-IVF, so I thought they might help keep my 'am I still pregnant?' anxiety at bay 🤪 Very exciting that you're telling your folks soon! 🤩 I've told my 3 BFF's who knew we were going through IVF, but no family yet (because none of them knew we were doing IVF). I live 6.5 hours away from my parents and am hoping to go down Easter weekend to tell them the news in person - we'll also (hopefully 🤞) be past 12 weeks by then. DP's family will be an interesting one though. It'll have to be a WhatsApp video call because they live in Italy, plus they're mega catholics and DP and I aren't married... what could possibly go wrong there?! 🤦‍♀️

Wimbledon1 Sun 02-Feb-20 17:57:27

Thank you so much for setting this up *@BambiOnIce80*, will be great to live this together even through the tough times too. I did an NHS calculator and had 12 Oct given as my due date but it wasn’t an IVF one so maybe would work out a few days earlier?

@Bestofyou1982, I somehow missed your BFP on the previous thread but congratulations!!

Can’t you say to your DH’s parents @BambiOnIce80 that this is both a miracle baby, but was technically also an immaculate conception in that it wasn’t a result of intercourse?! 😂

Littlelot Sun 02-Feb-20 18:31:07

Thank you @BambiOnIce80 for setting this up - I haven’t been brave enough to post anywhere else since getting the bfp. So lovely to be on a group with you guys! I did keep going back to check the other thread to see how people were getting on.

Congratulations to everyone!

My scan is on 13th so 2ww now. Don’t think I’ll relax until I’ve had the scan. It was about this time (5 weeks) that I started spotting last time so the longer I go the more confident I feel.

Anyone having symptoms yet? I had my first really nauseous moment this morn - my husband said I went very pale and bless him went out to get me something gingery to help 😁. Other than that my back has been really achy.

Does everyone’s clinic do an early scan?

Eek - can’t believe I’m even on this thread. Xx

Viletta Sun 02-Feb-20 18:33:39

Hi all!

I’m watching Labyrinth with David Bowie. It looks like a methaphor to an IVF journey. She keeps looking for a baby and he keeps disappearing! Happy ending though! I can’t help but being super optimistic about everything! Finally can start planning my life further! It’s my 4th transfer and I am just over the moon that it implanted!

Bestofyou1982 Sun 02-Feb-20 18:49:12

So good to see so many of the group have made it to a BFP.
We've told my husband's brother and I've told 2 colleagues at work ( one of which is my manager) as they knew about ivf process due to impact on work.
Find out tomorrow when scan is.
Have been told to increase progynova to 4 tablets a day from 3. And maintain pessaries 2 x a day.
When I checked on IVF due date calculator came out as October 8th. Eek! Hard to think this may be a reality!!

BambiOnIce80 Sun 02-Feb-20 19:40:17

The immaculate conception idea isn't a bad one @Wimbledon1 😂🤣😂🤣 DP is the golden child, so I'm hoping that mamma's baby boy can do no wrong with this news too! 🤞Failing that, they don't speak English and I don't speak Italian, so at least I won't be able to understand the mean things that she might be saying 😏

What a lovely DH you've got yourself there @Littlelot 😊 The mild nausea I had seems to have departed since stopping the pessaries, the gassiness/bloating is a lot better today and I didn't wake up in the middle of the night for the first time since the pessaries... which obviously has had me wondering if things are going wrong 🤦‍♀️ I'm still very tired though and my little lower right-sided aching is still putting in appearances on and off, so I think I just need to chill 🧘‍♀️

I love labyrinth @Viletta! 😍 I can't imagine how thrilled you must be with being fourth time lucky 💖

I'm struggling to wrap my head around that this might be real too @Bestofyou1982! 🤯 Think that's why I'm over-analysing everything 🤦‍♀️ I wasn't going to keep going to acupuncture now that IVF is over, but I've booked weekly sessions up until 9 weeks - partly for relaxing, but mostly so I can offload all my anxiety to a living, breathing person!

Viletta Sun 02-Feb-20 20:39:51

@BambiOnIce80 I've calculated mine due date too.. 4th October! I've already downloaded a pregnancy tracking app. I just want to enjoy it all! Here are some awesome pictures of how the embie is looking! https://embryology.med.unsw.edu.au/embryology/index.php/Embryonic_Development

I booked my 6w scan for the 15th of October. Going private for this.

FlapJackered Mon 03-Feb-20 04:41:26

@BambiOnIce80 immaculate conception! @Wimbledon1 😂😂😂 I love it!
I reckon they will be so over the moon to have a grandchild that they won't worry about the marriage part too much, it is 2020 after all!
I stock piled Frers when they were on special offer so have about 10 to burn through! 😂 🤦‍♀️

@Littlelot that's great you don't have too long to wait until your scan.
I don't have much in the way of symptoms yet, I occasionally feel a bit queasy and boobs are a bit sensitive (particularly when the dog decides to trampoline on them 🙄)

I have just done another test and it is still strong so i will tell my family today!
They all knew about the ivf so I am sure have been waiting to hear the news.

FlapJackered Mon 03-Feb-20 10:13:18

Oh my god, this insomnia malarky has just got dangerous, woke up at 2.30am this morning and went into a Facebook stalking rabbit hole, ended up on a very old colleagues Facebook page (who was fired for fraud) and managed to request to be tagged in one of her pictures by mistake - she's not even a fb friend!! 🤦‍♀️ I have just realised what I did (7 hours later!) and removed the request. I fear it is too late though and she will have had the notification. I am just going to dig a hole and climb into it and stay there for the foreseeable future. 🙈

BambiOnIce80 Mon 03-Feb-20 10:24:34

PMSL @FlapJackered!! 😂🤣😂🤣 What a nightmare! I'm very glad that I picked up my book at 1am this morning (I fell out with FB about a year ago, so barely go on it)! 😜 I think my problem could potentially be amazon impulse buys at 3am though! 😳 My anti-stretch mark bargain bundle should be on it's way as we speak after Friday nights efforts 🙊

Can't wait to hear how your family react to your news today! 😊 Enjoy it.x

BambiOnIce80 Mon 03-Feb-20 10:33:01

Oooh, and quick midwife related question to you all I know I'm probably getting ahead of myself 🤦‍♀️. Is everyone waiting to get their 7 week scan out of the way before contacting the midwife? The blurb on my GP's website says to call their midwife appointment line as soon as you get a BFP so that they can book the 12 week scan in, but I'm wondering if we're supposed to wait for the 7 week scan result first? 🤔 My clinic didn't mention anything about booking with a midwife and I don't want to be ringing them every 5 minutes with daft questions - they're busy enough without that!

FlapJackered Mon 03-Feb-20 10:53:07

@BambiOnIce80 😂🙈 it's the first time I have been on Facebook for about 6 months. 🙈 nightmare!!
I am with you on the impulse purchases, Amazon prime is so dangerous.

I personally will wait for 7 week scan. I had a miscarriage a year ago and I had to cancel the midwife appointment which was hard enough but then it wasn't noted down properly so they called me angrily when I didn't show up on the day. They must get lots of people who don't know they are pregnant until that point so I am sure it will be fine to wait.

I told my family and they are all really happy! It was lovely telling them actually as it makes it feel more real. Apparently they all had a gut feeling it would work 🤷‍♀️ I definitely didn't!!

BambiOnIce80 Mon 03-Feb-20 11:22:54

I'm really sorry to hear about what you want through last year @FlapJackered 💐 I think it does make the most sense to wait until the 7 week scan is out of the way and take it from there 👍 I'm guessing that non-IVF ladies won't get the 7 week scan as standard, so it makes sense for them to book sooner rather than later. And you're right - loads of people book after 13 weeks, so I don't know why I'm getting so ahead of myself! 🤦‍♀️

That's lovely that your family are delighted with your exciting news 😊 I still find it amazing how the people who aren't going through it are so sure it'll work, especially given the stats! I went back and looked at the HFEA success rate data for my age group yesterday (because I thought it must be much higher than I thought for us to have been so lucky! 🍀), but no - it was actually lower than I thought! 🤯 I thought the success rate was 30% for a fresh transfer for 38-39 year old, but that was actually the figure for a FET... the fresh transfer figure was in fact 15%!!!🤯🤯🤯 How the hell does anyone actually end up pregnant!! 😳 I need to stop reading these things 🙈 I don't think I'll ever make sense of why we've been so lucky so far, so I just need to stop over analysing and just enjoy it day by day for as long as it lasts 💖

FlapJackered Mon 03-Feb-20 11:35:45

@BambiOnIce80 I am so sorry I didn't mean to put you off booking the appointment. You're definitely not getting ahead of yourself. I was very quick to book the appointment first time and it is exciting to have something to look forward to. The stats are in our favour, it is much more likely to succeed than fail. I am just being overly cautious because of what happened.
That is crazy about the success rate! We are very lucky! I watched a webinar from a fertility expert in my tww and he was saying a lot of people with fertility issues will find it as difficult to get pregnant with ivf as naturally. Which is thoroughly depressing!
I think you're totally right with enjoying it day by day, it's so hard to do though! 🙈😂

BambiOnIce80 Mon 03-Feb-20 12:37:52

You've not put me off at all @FlapJackered 😘 I was going to wait until after the 7 week scan result before booking an appointment with the midwife, but the info on my GP's website threw me off a bit - their information is clearly for 'normal' women! 😄 I'm sure my clinic would've said if I was supposed to as well, but they haven't 👍 I've been waiting years to get here, so I just need to find some patience and wait another 2+1 weeks to see what's going on! ⌚

Wimbledon1 Mon 03-Feb-20 13:51:35

@FlapJackered I love that insomnia anecdote. The fact she was fired for fraud makes it. Wonder if she can tell from the notification what time you were looking at it?! 😂

So nice you've been able to tell your family now and I bet that makes it all even more exciting. I've actually lied to my Mum and bought myself some time by saying I was on the long protocol, so she's not expecting anything further for at least another month which is helpful. So sorry to hear you had a miscarriage previously, really not fair at all, any of this. I have a friend who has helped me through all of this who is on her third round and messaged me this morning asking if I'd had my result, and I had to tell her that it seems to have worked first time. She was so nice about it but it must hurt to hear. Why can't everyone that wants a baby and would be a good parent have one? So unfair!!

Anyway, sorry for the rant. @BambiOnIce80 as you say, we're incredibly lucky and although the fear is definitely real, all we can do is enjoy it for now smile

Wimbledon1 Mon 03-Feb-20 13:52:34

Oh and sorry, had concluded the same on the midwife appointment, that the clinic will tell me what to do and when. I'm fine not having a mind of my own and following instructions to the letter here!

Viletta Mon 03-Feb-20 14:35:54

I actually booked my midwife appointment already. I am enjoying all of it! I didn't allow to during IVF thinking what if we never had children. But now I am thinking about names, clothes, knitting a blanket and enjoying every day. My motto is that at the moment everything is really good and we should allow ourselves to be happy. We all know the risks alright, best not to obsess. It doesn't make any sense being upset about them especially as we all have a better chance of these risks not materializing. At the moment all goes well, the embryo has implanted, pregnancy tests look amazing, we can celebrate!

Littlelot Mon 03-Feb-20 19:15:14

@FlapJackered love the anecdote - this is why I avoid my phone in the middle of the night! So sorry though to hear about your miscarriage, it feels so unfair! My EPU at least contacted the docs and cancelled all appointments for me so that was one less thing to worry about.

@Viletta I’m trying to channel your positivity.
I liked it on the previous thread when someone wise wrote that each day you just think to yourself I’m pregnant today and enjoy it.

@Wimbledon1 its so hard isn’t it when you’ve been waiting so OMG for good news but you know it’s going to cause someone else pain.

@BambiOnIce80 I really hope your family are excited! Have you asked dp to try the immaculate conception idea?

I’ve told my parents so far as they paid for this transfer and so we’re waiting to hear. Although I did chicken out a bit and tell them via text and said I didn’t really want to talk about it until I’d had my scan and they are being really good about that. However, I’m now feeling terrible because my sister a couple of day’s ago has just found out that her husbands sperm count is pretty much zero with no mobility so they’ve said there is pretty much no chance of them having a second child. So she is devastated. She’s only told me as she knows that I know how she feels. And now I feel awful that I’m going to have to tell her that I’m pregnant as I know how painful that will be to here. I think I’ll wait til my scan and then tell her. But equally, I’m scared she’ll tell my mum and my mum will tell her I’m pregnant. Argggg not my position to tell my mum but equally don’t want my mum to think she’s protecting my sister and tell her I’m pregnant 🤯 I can’t believe the timing! She didn’t know we were going to have another FET after last time I didn’t want to tell anyone. This is what I’m pondering in the middle of the night!

Viletta Mon 03-Feb-20 19:31:23

@Littlelot it was my mum in law who told me DH sister was pregnant and she was very mindful not to hurt me. I though this was great news. I never had a baby bomb feeling, I am always happy to hear about people's pregnancies. I have a group of friends my age 30+ none of them have kids yet. Now I hope they will soon! I am sure your sister would be happy for you and would appreciate the though of trying not to hurt her feelings. She will have to find out sooner or later. Don't stress out about it, I am sure she'll understand. It might be best if someone else tells her? We had MFI too and had to do icsi.

Littlelot Mon 03-Feb-20 20:15:02

@Viletta thank you and sounds like your mil is a wonderful person - my mum is known for being well meaning but not always as tactful/sensitive as she could be. I know my sister will be happy for me and she knows what we’ve been through to get here but I think it’ll be such a shock. We’re pretty close and it will all be okay - I just wish the timing was all different so she’d had a bit more time to get her head around her own situation first or that I’d told her we were trying again so that it wasn’t a shock. I just don’t want to cause her more pain at the moment. But your right it’s not something I should stress about and she will ultimately be happy for me. It’s something completely out of my control and we just muddle our way through.
X

FlapJackered Tue 04-Feb-20 04:13:53

@Viletta that is a great attitude to have! I will definitely try and be more positive once I get past the first scan. It is tough as DH keeps telling me off a bit when I mention anything past the 7 week scan. It was quite a traumatic time for both of us so I do understand his reasoning, but it is hard as part of me wants to celebrate it come what may. Not long until the scans though!!

@Wimbledon1 🙈 I don't want to even think about it 😂 I was wondering if I should have done a status update saying I had been hacked 😂 but then I don't really ever use Facebook so it would be a bit odd! Ah well I will probably never see her again. 🤦‍♀️

@Littlelot sorry to hear you have been through a mc too. That is good they cancelled the appointments, I wish they had done the same for me. I literally had zero after care at all.
Can you ask your Mum to keep it quiet for now? It is hard but I am sure your sister will be happy for you. I am in a similar position with my sister-in-law as she has recently had an ectopic and lost a tube. She has been trying for her second for a year and a half too. I felt guilty but didn't think she would want me treading on egg shells around her so I just texted her to let her know. She was very happy for us, but I am sure it does hurt too.

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