Dec19/Jan20 IVF Graduates - Thread 2

[Chooklass]

New thread for us all to keep in touch. Think we're all nearing the end of the first trimester or dipping our toes into the second ... how far we've come since the days of agonising over stims!

Link to old thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/birth_clubs/3812203-Dec19-Jan20-IVF-Graduates

@Chooklass it was so similar for me yesterday going to the office, felt so energised after that, sometimes the most simple acts make the most difference.

@Viletta I can also understand him as it is very difficult to act "normal" outside after all these scary news knowing the virus is still out there as an invisible enemy, it's not easy.

I am meeting my friend tomorrow in the park for some socially distanced picnic and I am so excited, have been missing her so much. Hope the weather will be nice...

Good news is that the annoying pain in the back is gone after 4days, I really thought it would never go away. Hoping we said good bye to each other for good.

As for kicking I am trying to establish the pattern, but not quite obvious yet at 23weeks, can you confidently say you know your little ones' routine? I will have to call the triage after 24weeks "if the pattern changes", but at the moment I am struggling to know what that is exactly. Still getting to know each other with the baby. :)

I'm almost 26w and the only pattern I can see is that he moves in the morning and at night.. moving more and more during the day too. I had some huge kicks a couple of days ago but now it seems more just normal movement. I find kick app confusing and general info on kicks online as well. I reckon I should be worried if he doesn't move at all in the morning and I don't feel him till dinner.. sometimes he's just not that active but usually I do feel him now and again during the day. Definitely more and more movements.

That's good to hear thanks @Viletta, so I am not the only one without a clear pattern, only movements getting more. Also we can now feel hiccups, no idea what that even means haha how would I know the baby's got hiccups? :)

I like when I can feel him in two places at a time I can figure out his size that way 😊 haven't felt hiccups yep, maybe they don't do it as often.

@lily999 hiccups feel like little kicks but are rhythmical and last for a few minutes. DS hiccuped loads and still gets hiccups if you make him laugh! This one has already had hiccups too, you’ll know when they have them!

@Lily999 I'm struggling to identify a pattern too. It's been very quiet over night the past week or so but usually kicking throughout the day. With my anterior placenta I think I don't feel a lot of what's happening though. Last few days I've been feeling kicks pretty high up, at bottom of my ribs!

Thank you @Viletta, @DobbieFreeElf and @Chooklass looking forward to feeling hiccups then! :) and will keep waiting for the time when the pattern finally reveals itself.

Hello everyone, hope you've all had good weeks? I've been off radar and off my game, have been soooo grumpy in the heat. It's been 30 degrees in London three days running. I haven't slept well and my ankles honestly look like elephant feet. Used to love the sun so much but I'm excited about next week's crappy forecast!!

Thank you for the reassurance on the induction, sounds like the consultant's wording was a bit clumsy then...guess there's nothing I can do anyway other than wait and see what happens!

Found the kick conversation interesting. I'm 25 weeks today and aware I'm meant to have been checking by now but also don't really know how to or which apps to use. If anyone gets any good intel from a friend or midwife please say. I don't want to use one that ends up worrying me unnecessarily! Definitely plenty happening for now, I bought an ice cream milkshake early that was sending him/her nuts. Guessing it's because it's so cold landing in there? 😂

@Lily999 so nice that you got to you to your office and feel a bit normal. I'd have to commute into London on the underground so certainly won't be doing that, but I have been to a few places now (the milkshake cafe!) and I think we will also book a few nights away in a self contained and self catered place before the third trimester. Always figured my baby moon would be somewhere slightly more glamorous but hey-ho!

Hi @Wimbledon1 getting away a bit does sound good! I was told by the midwife not to count kicks but watch the pattern, that's all and she said it's only from 28weeks, but it will form from 24.

Got the results back it was so quick, they took my blood yesterday. No antibodies detected so that's it. Was hoping I'd found out to be immune, but that's not the case, at least we know.

Oh my god, leg cramp!! I've had this a fair few times already, been woken in the morning with one or other of them seizing up for a few seconds. This morning it was the worst cramp ever. I was literally rolling on the bed crying pathetically for help!! Jeez. Has anyone else had this? I really hope it was the heat and my swelling feet bringing it on not something that will progress through pregnancy as I can't cope with that getting worse 😬😭

@Wimbledon1 I heard magnesium helps, it only happened to me once, horrible feeling! There is a Magnesium lotion from Better you that has good reviews for cramps.. I don't think it'll help in the moment but might help preventing them 🤔 I have it and put it on my legs before bed

@Wimbledon1 me too, twice last nights and a few other times this week. Woke up screaming on one occasion when it happened in the middle of the night.

It didn’t occur to me as being a pregnancy thing as I’ve had it on the odd occasion in the past too, but sounds like it is

We finally went to the beach and it was amazing!! Had 2h walk and fish and chips after. Bliss!

Ooh that's a good idea @Viletta - I read this page about them and actually swallowing magnesium seemed to be a question mark so a lotion one is a great option, will have a look

www.nct.org.uk/pregnancy/worries-and-discomforts/common-discomforts/leg-cramps-during-pregnancy-how-avoid-them
(As you can see @justkeeprunning5 it's definitely a common pregnancy thing don't worry!

So nice you made it to the beach @Viletta. Glad you enjoyed. Living where we do we are 90 mins away but also from the beaches millions would go to on w nice day (!) so not sure we'll ever get there 🙄

How's everyone sleeping? I normally sleep 8-9h and noticed if I don't get my 9h I'll be napping during the day too. Feels like I'm more asleep than awake. Belly had another growth surge, feeling properly huge. Less so in the morning. Hope you all had great weekends!

@Viletta I've just woken up from an afternoon nap! 🤣 Think I'm on a growth spurt too as my ligaments and lower back are really sore again (slept terribly last night) and feel like everything is stretched to bursting in my stomach and chest. Had this a few weeks ago and it eased off after bump popped out so I'm thinking that's happening again.

I’m sleeping really badly I’d say every other night, on Friday I had an awful night and had the most awful hangover feeling all day Saturday and was even sick in the evening because of it! I also find exercise, even a moderate walk, will wipe me out! And just like you @Chooklass it’s all aching!

I need to ask you all for some advice. I’m so confused about what we should and shouldn’t be doing regarding corona virus! It seems like the whole world has just gone back to normal behaviour and I can’t decide! So as a background, we’ve been really “good” about lockdown and contact with other people. Over the last 3 weeks or so I have seen some people but I’ve been very selective. I started with my mum who I know has seen no one since lockdown, my dad who lives alone and last week we extended him into our bubble so he could stay the night, my parents-in-law over 70 and semi cautious although they have now extended their bubble to include my SIL and 2 kids who I was avoiding and my best friend, also pregnant and has a 3yo too. Mostly it’s difficult because obviously my 3yo does not understand staying at a distance, however many times you remind him which is why I’ve been selective seeing only these people and mostly outdoors. Then yesterday DS wanted to go to my PIL to have a swim and stupidly my DH called them in front of him. They said that my SIL and 2 kids would be there, we have been making excuses not to see them as 1 of the kids is now back at school and SIL works in an office in a hospital, obviously DS overheard the conversation and that was it, we were going... I decided well if we’ve been seeing my PIL and they’ve been seeing and hugging SIL + kids we have indirectly seen them anyway. Hung out outside had a bbq, DH & I kept a distance but DS not so much...

Long story short I’ve been selective about who we see...

Cut to this afternoon DH says he’s invited his best friend who lives in Norwich down to play golf and stay the night. I said I don’t feel happy with him staying the night. DH has copped a strop.

Then my cousin text me saying we miss you can we see you or are we still too high risk.

I’m so confused and conflicted. If I wasnt pregnant I really would be so much more relaxed about it all but I don’t now know where to draw the line. I feel like I’ve opened up our bubble too much already but I’m also feeling pressure from people to open it further. And now we aren’t considered vulnerable until 28 weeks so what happens then, do we stop seeing everyone again?

It was so much easier when we were actually on lockdown!

Anyway, what do you guys think, what are you doing and who are you seeing? Should I let DH’s friend come and stay (don’t get me started on this being against current guidelines because I just explained this to DH and he walked away saying “I don’t want to talk about this anymore” should I see people for the next 4 weeks then stop all together?! I’m so confused!!

Sorry, that was fucking long! A mars bar to anyone who bothers reading it all!

@DobbieFreeElf I feel exactly the same - it's so confusing and was much simpler during full lockdown as the decision wasn't on our shoulders. It's still a bit stricter in Scotland and cases are now really low so I feel pretty safe at the moment, though I've only seen a few friends for socially distanced walks so far. I feel like I should see everyone in the next three weeks while cases are low and before 28 weeks! But yeh - then what?! Do we isolate? It's really unclear.

I'm seeing family and friends and I am going to the shops etc. Not loads - I had a wander round Waterstones for 5mins today, that's it except tesco! I am antibaccing literally every time I touch something. Whenever we meet people we are staying well apart and we've had a few bbqs where I've taken our own plates, tongs etc. I even took loo roll and a hand towel plus our own cleaning stuff to use the loo!

I am not planning to make a huge change past 28 weeks to be honest... I'm definitely not going to shield completely. It's also fairly pointless when I will be spending a lot of time in hospital for scans etc! They're probably the highest risk places.

I think you need to make a decision that's right for you. For me, going into work wasn't okay (I'm a teacher). I definitely won't be going to pubs, cinemas etc. We get food deliveries as much as possible and I'm immensely careful about handwashing. But if I don't leave the house at all until this baby gets here then I know I'm going to be in no fit position mentally to be a good mum, either.

I'm actually more worried about what happens when she is here and people all want to see her, have a cuddle etc. I think our very close family will come over with masks but the days of taking them into work to show them off are long gone. Unless there is a huge huge shift in the infection rates.

ONS data last week was that 1 in 1,700 have an active infection. If you're only leaving the house once a week to wander round tesco you are extremely unlikely to pick it up. And then even if you do, your risk of dying of it is very very low. Even when pregnant.

I've had to try to weigh it up against other risks that we ignore or try not to think about. We have less than a 0.15% chance of dying of coronavirus (I accept the risk of complications is higher - about a 4.5% chance of needing hospitalisation). But when you consider there was approximately a 23% average chance of our ivf cycles working.... 1 in 5 pregnancies end in miscarriage... 1 in 230 people will die in a car crash as their cause of death.... 1 in 2 of us will get cancer in our lifetime... approx 450 people a DAY die of cancer in the UK.... it's morbid but it actually helps me put the risks into perspective a bit more.

That's not to say go out and lick strangers or stop using soap and water..... but I have decided that if I want to get a milkshake and a bun from a takeaway shack and sit in a park 2m away from a friend, I will do.

Famous last words and I'll probably die of covid now...! I promise I am being really safe. But that's just my thoughts on it, anyway.

I feel the same @DobbieFreeElf
We have seen friends at 2m distance on a walk but I felt slightly uneasy that at times we were probably too close.
I have also seen my sister and stayed at my parent's house but they both live quite remote and don't see a lot of people so I took the risk but definitely didn't feel ok about it. I think once I get to the third trimester I will be more careful. Though at the moment we are planning a trip to Devon end of August where we will be staying with my sister, bro in law and their new baby. I think I will play it by ear though and if cases are right down then I will feel more confident about it.
It is really hard to judge though.

@Viletta I am generally sleeping quite well too, but definitely with you on needing the extra 💤s!

I have been feeling quite nauseous the last few days and the little maniac is kicking me in the stomach constantly! 🤢

Has anyone bought anything else yet? We bought our pram, car seat etc today as it was in a sale ending tomorrow. It feels a bit soon but I didn't want to miss out on the deal.

Haha, I did read it all and looking forward to my Mars Bar 😆 Plus replies, interesting discussion.

I think as @October2020 says it's all about weighing up what you are comfortable with and other wellbeing and family considerations. I think I'm probably on the more relaxed end of the scale from what people have said before. I've met a few friends at a distance, we've been to (many, sigh!) car show rooms and we are even looking at an Airbnb in the Cotswolds for a few nights in July - self catered and contained of course. Think I've said before I reckon this is getting worse again before it ends and with the extra caution required in the third trimester I echo what someone said about wanting to make the most of the next few weeks. But I know others are being more cautious and totally get that too, why add any risk at all you might think? Has to be a personal choice. Also; even for me, someone coming to stay in the house that isn't even a family remember is a bridge too far and I'd be saying no to this golf plan too! (Although as of this Saturday if it is one household staying with one other and you still distance, it will technically allowed I'm afraid!)

I'm actually starting to get shorter nights sleep. I keep waking up 1.5 hours before I need to and things. No idea why, it's a new development and not always/rarely because I'm uncomfortable 🤷🏻‍♀️ Seems good practice though, shorter nights!!

I'm getting round ligament/stretch pain again too so this is reassuring to hear from others!! And @FlapJackered yes the kicking is ramping up. I can also now feel the difference touching my belly between general uterus swelling and bits where the baby is. He/she is harder and lumpier. DH and I could see an actual raise on it the other day. Not long before I'm identifying limbs laying-into me 😂

It's a hard question isn't it.. we are selective about whom we see, my family is all abroad, so only DH immediate family and some friends but always outside. My mother-in-law came to see us but as she was entering the house she gave me a kiss on the cheek.. DH is now paranoid as she's back to work and back to seeing more people and he says we are taking unnecessary risk. We haven't seen his dad and it looks like he's not even planning to see us.. I wonder if he thinks we are shielding. All in all, I'm totally fine with seeing people outside for walks, no touching etc.. but a bit more conscious about seeing people indoors even family member that we bubbled up with. However it's great to see people and feel more normal for my mental health.

I have hand down travel system and bounce chair from a friend, next2me tutti bambini crib as a gift, a bag of old baby clothes, ergo baby, lots of knitted cardigans, some new baby grows, I've ordered a changing mat from mamas and papas with the recent sale. I've got all I need to make a felt mobile. Also have a baby shower that my friends organized for me so expecting some cute outfits.

I need wrap sling, chest of drawers, bath and more newborn clothes. Otherwise I think we're pretty much ready.

Hi ladies. Had my scan yesterday and pleased to say all looked good! Baby was active do it took a while to get everything. Was lovely to see baby again! Now the fun stuff can start.

Great that you made it to the beach and had a lovely time @Viletta .

@October2020 I like the logic with the Covid stats v other things!

Like others I am trying to ease myself out more now, taking small steps. Need to see some friends as thinking back I’ve hardly seen anyone this year as the IVF meant January & February were out for socialising and once the baby arrives I know life will change massively so have decided to meet people outside when I can. I won’t be rushing back to pubs / restaurants but will probably go shopping for baby stuff soon. As others have said it’s all personal preference and we all have to do what we are comfortable with.

@FlapJackered we bought our pram in the sale, seemed too good a deal not to. And will start ordering some essential clothes now they’ve started to come into stock online.

Aww lovely to hear @justkeeprunning5. Sorry I forgot you still had yours to come (that really was the end of June!!) Great to hear all was well, and take it you have stuck with team yellow? 💛 Congratulations!

Who is furthest along now again? Think @Littlelot and @Viletta are already over 26 weeks now?

I've been added to my NCT WhatsApp group for when it starts later this month. As expected we will be last in the group to have our baby, latest due date by two whole weeks. Never mind, better that then to be first by that much! Obviously I'm now looking at people's WhatsApp pics to try and suss everyone out 😂