Dec19/Jan20 IVF Graduates - Thread 2

[Chooklass]

New thread for us all to keep in touch. Think we're all nearing the end of the first trimester or dipping our toes into the second ... how far we've come since the days of agonising over stims!

Link to old thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/birth_clubs/3812203-Dec19-Jan20-IVF-Graduates

@justkeeprunning5 I've ordered a couple of bits and bobs with the sale as well. Exciting!

A practicality tip for anyone starting to buy baby grows, make sure they have integrated scratch mitts and the type with poppers up the front like these: www.mamasandpapas.com/en-gb/city-jersey-sleepsuits-3-pack/p/s79ftx7

Separate scratch mitts are a f*ing pain in the bum! And sleeps suits that look clever, with zips or pull over the head are usually just an absolute faff (at 3am & covered in poo!) 😊

Puppies!! 🥰😍 Gorgeous! So do you get this first new arrival in August some time? A few months then to all get used to each other before the next one, I think that works!

I still have so much to learn...does a newborn need to wear scratch bits all the time so they don't cane their own face? I really didn't know that!

Glad everyone's appointments are going well. I had my consultant one yesterday. Wasn't a lot to it - he said they tend to let you go to 41 weeks before inducing at my hospital. Although did also then say "obviously it's unlikely a first time mum would then go into labour spontaneously even at 41 weeks but why not let nature try". I didn't know this either. Knew there was a decent chance a first timer would need induction but not that it was actually likely 😬 Is this true?!

@Wimbledon1, mid August, when I’m 30 weeks... DS is going to be very excited, me too, I forgot what a mess kids make eating without a dog hoover to clear it up!

Scratch mitts for the first few months, they tend to need them less and less as they get more control of their limbs but baby’s nails are sharper than razors! That’s why the ones that are attached and just fold over the hand are so good as you can just flip them over when not in use. Separate ones are the size of ants socks and make up a washing machine’s daily diet!

I’m not sure that’s entirely true, of the 5 in my NCT 3 started naturally but 2 ended up needing a c section. 1 was induced. I was natural but started at 41+3 ish. The other had a c section A week early because baby was breach.

I think that the further over you go the more likely complications are and therefore nowadays they are more likely to intervene sooner rather than later.

Just thinking back to my friends first time babies out of 7 of them three were early, two pretty much on time and two late. I’m not sure the late ones had inductions although they had a sweep. One friend had an induction early with her third but that was due to blood pressure of mum... out of that lot one was an emergency c section.

Great point the scratch mitts as part of their clothes, I haven’t noticed many having these online, maybe I need to look harder!

@DobbieFreeElf thank you for the tips, it's so great having you here! :)

@Wimbledon1 I wasn't aware of first time babies arriving later, if anything I am at risk of going in labour early due to the low papp-a, so to be honest I would be the happiest person to reach 40weeks....

Here it comes a TMI question, anyone else suffering from piles? It appeared last weekend and is putting me in agony :( Have been putting calendula cream on it several times a day, but I have a desk job so not sitting is not possible. I am having a high fibre diet, no constipation, doing daily exercises but it just appeared and is so painful... Sorry I know it's not the most pleasant topic, but was hoping maybe someone has a tip what could help? Will it stay like this for the rest of the pregnancy?

Ouch @lily999 I haven’t got piles but I did break my coccyx once (honestly, the most frigging painful thing ever, don’t recommend it!) and spent 6 months sitting in a donut cushion to take the pressure off that area. When I was pregnant with DS I bought a Sit&Sigh cushion because it was likely that pregnancy could aggravate the old injury which also worked to release the pressure of sitting at a desk all day. Here it is on amazon: Sit & Sigh Original Seat Cushion - Ergonomic Support Cushion For Lower Back Pain Relief and Pressure Relief (Medium) www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07H367PNC/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_lQY8EbHFC2VG1?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Here’s a more snazzy one which has a lightning deal on today: The Winner 2020* Premium Coccyx Cushion with CoolGel® - Orthopedic Seat Cushion for Car/Office/Home - Sciatica, Tailbone & Back Pain Relief - Doctor Designed/CertiPUR Certified www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01MF52K0I/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_FSY8EbR5GT554?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

@justkeeprunning5 I never noticed until we had a baby and I quickly realised the ones without were a pain! All the tesco/ Sainsbury’s ones tended to have them I remember!

Oh just a quick thing, I’m just doing our business’ accounts and had a thought that we’re all now at (maybe some are over) the last point to tell our employers that we’re pregnant 😊 (obviously my “employer” knows as he was there depositing into a cup on the day of conception 🤣🤣)

Thank you @dobbieFreeElf, I have shaped up a blanket in a way that pillow is shaped and it already is making a huge difference! My next midwife appointment is in a month time, really hoping this will go away by then...

Yes, I have told my work thanks for the reminder, got the MAT B1 form from the midwife last week, it is good to let them know, one less problem to think about. We are also doing shared parental leave next summer, so had to make arrangements for that.

@Lily999 which midwife appointment did you get yours at? I had hoped to get it it at my scan next week but may have misunderstood the process. As far as I’m aware we need to tell them by 15 weeks before the estimated birth or as soon as practical after that. Great that you are doing the shared leave, the more people that take that up the better .

I haven’t told many at work yet but plan to make it ‘official’ as soon as I can so they can start planning maternity cover.

@justkeeprunning5 it was the 22weeks appointment last Friday, I had to officially report my pregnancy latest 15weeks before my due date (so by the end of next week) that is fast approaching so wanted to take care of it. Maybe you don't need the actual form to do this, but if I were you I would send them a note just to cover yourself as in the manual it said if I don't report the pregnancy I will not be eligible for maternity pay. I am sure it's not that strict, but why take any risks.

Yes, HR said actually nobody at my company has ever requested to do shared parental leave, we are not doing it in the classic way, meaning we will both be at home for the last 4months of the year. DH has a pretty generous paternity leave policy at his work so we are taking advantage of that. (he gets 100% of his wages for 19weeks) All I have to do is give up my statutory pay that actually runs out and I will be on unpaid leave for the last 3months anyway, so whether he is working or not we will get the exact same income. :)

@Lily999. Ah my midwife appt is at 25 weeks so I will write to my HR team following the scan and forward the MAT B1 when I have it.

That’s a really generous scheme that your husband has! I get the impression my husbands is not at all generous so we will probably just have me off for the year. He will have a fair amount of holiday to take in the first 5 months of baby being here due to accruing due to this CV situation so he will have a few sets of fortnights off which is better than nothing. The more people that do it the better, it’s the only way to make it more ‘normal’. We do little news stories at my work with the chaps that have taken it up as a way of publicising it. Brilliant idea for you to share the leave.

We are planning on splitting leave too. I'm going to do 9 months then DH 3 months. I hardly know anyone who has taken advantage of the scheme - agree the more the better, though it's not so simple for some couples xx

🙋🏻‍♀️ Our company currently has no maternity policy, because I haven’t written it 🤣 and if we don’t work we don’t have an income so DH will probably try to plan a couple of quiet weeks at the end of October/ beginning of November but who knows it that will work out!

I was given my matB1 at my booking, you don’t actually need it to notify work, you just need to write them a short letter stating your due date and brief plan for maternity leave (not sure if that is a must but from an employers perspective it’s helpful!)

Dear [name of employer],
I am writing to notify you of my pregnancy. My expected week of childbirth is [insert date].
I would like to start my maternity leave on [insert date you would like to start your maternity leave].
I will forward my MATB1 maternity certificate when I have received it. Please could you confirm that I will receive Statutory Maternity Pay.
Yours sincerely,
[your name]

Or something to that effect.

I remember mine being so formal before and feeling like it was a bit OTT!

Those of you who bought Mumba bras - are you pleased with them? I am pleased with my jojo maman bebe bra but I need another one now and thought I might try that?

Or I thought I'd go for the seraphine two pack....

My email said basically the same thing as above! They've known I was pregnant since 5 weeks but legally you have to tell your employer officially so I thought I should!

@October2020 mine’s nearly 4 years old and still the most comfy nursing bra I’ve ever owned. I find the elastic on the jojo one really tight. I did just buy a cheap 4 pack of nursing bras from amazon which I’ve found really good and they come with back extenders too. I really struggle with anything around my ribs and they’re soft and comfy.

Ah thanks Dobbie. I'm not good with tight things either (although after a week or so the jojo one has given in enough to be comfortable!!). Think I will order one :)

I know many people who took shared leave, great thing to do! I feel like as I'm planning to breastfeed I don't want to return to work earlier than in a year though..will ask DH to check his conditions for paternity pay. I get 22 weeks full pay.
The lockdown is easing and we are still not going out much, I miss the sea and long walks so much. We could go it's only 30 min drive but DH wants me to be safe.. I think for my mental health I need to convince him I need to be out more. I even want to go back to the office at this point which I won't do as it's closed anyway. Erch..

I'm not wearing bra most days and living the freedom. Wearing amazon cheapy when I'm out, it's okay.

@Viletta I am the same when it comes to bras.

Just came back from the office, after 3months I went in as the company provides antibody testing for everyone, so I saw my colleagues for a short period keeping the distance etc., it was so good, seriously felt like a breath of fresh air, didn't realise how much I missed them until I saw them today. The atmosphere, people, the chitchat, everything. They loved my bump and asked so many questions, it was super sweet. :) Results are coming back on Monday.

22weeks of full pay is pretty generous, I get 12weeks of full pay, then 27weeks of statutory pay. Once that runs out the remaining 12weeks are unpaid that's when DH will use his parental leave as he gets full pay so financially it will not make any difference and at least he will be home with us. I will not go back before I absolutely have to, at least that's the plan. I heard people change their plans once they run out of money haha, hopefully we will be able to manage as have been saving up for this for over a year (one of the good sides of the long TTC I guess that it doesn't come as a surprise) plus as our holiday got cancelled due to Covid this year we re-allocated that sum as "mat cover" too.

@Viletta as you live so close could you head out really early on a warm day and take a flask and some nice breakfast with you and spend some time on the beach for a ‘breakfast picnic’ of sorts before many others turn up? I follow a lady on Instagram who tends to get there by 730 and it’s always quiet and it will just give you that feeling of a little bit of freedom? We have taken to going places at strange times - parks after 8pm / outdoor places in the rain so hardly anyone else is around.

@Lily999 I am so envious of you having been into the office! I miss the people and the atmosphere of an office so much. So lovely hat you got to see some colleagues and got made a fuss of. Are you able to travel in avoiding public transport?

@justkeeprunning5 yes, I am driving as my office is next to the motorway, can't get there without a car, so public transport wasn't luckily an issue.

Yes, it was difficult to leave actually, I was thinking on my way home if I in fact don't go back before the baby comes it means I will be away from the office for almost 2years as the lock down started just after I found out I am pregnant... wow.

Going to the beach in the early hours is a good idea, I saw a few pictures from the shores in England, it is so crowded, scary.

I second what @justkeeprunning5 suggests @Viletta - head out early! Depends if you are a morning person though? I am! I went for a walk to the beach at 6am this morning - not too hot yet and had it to myself 😃. Puts me in a good frame of mind for the day.

@Chooklass lovely picture! We are both not morning people so hope we'll go in the evening at some point. Problem is DH is a bit nervous outside due to the covid worries and not enjoying being out. He hasn't been out properly since the lockdown. We're taking it easy and going for small walks first. I might go with a friend instead at some point. Funny how lockdown finally got into my head, I feel really down if I don't go out with someone or talk to different people on the phone. I was fine before but I guess the extrovert inside me just had enough. So glad I've got you guys to talk to as well! How's everyone's little ones kicking?

@Viletta currently practicing karate @ 4.30am... 🤣

@Viletta it's difficult to get back to 'normal' when we've been told for months that normal is dangerous, so I think it's understandable people are anxious. I made myself go to the post office a few days ago instead of DH and it was really scary - not been in a shop since before lockdown! It was fine though and I felt good having done something for myself again. I was worried my bank card might not work since I hadn't used it so long!