September 2019 #12

[Florencenotflo]

Aaahhhh... thread number 12! Hold on tight ladies... here come the babies!

@Horehound they're seriously good, and seriously simple!! 🤤 baby stuff washing for me next week, I'm sill catching up with being a lazy bum for the last few weeks 😂

Oh no @DustyDoorframes - do you think your bp has been low?

@kyles101 dunno, it's high BP I'm at risk of! But I definitely feel more low-ish than high-ish.

@happydays00 congratulations he is beautiful

@Hsunshine no I've never bothered but friends have. I'd rather wait til baby looks more like a wee person (and I'm thin again) and have some family ones done I think!

Good luck @stroan @Karigan195 and anyone else that needs it today!

Crap night here, I actually started to wonder if things were starting off at one point but appeared to just be random pains for hours and very little sleep. Bucketing down rain as well so not planning on moving far from sofa if I can help it!

@Moraxella realised I hadn't replied to your tag sorry! Feel slightly better I'm not alone in such stresses. I'd honestly thought there would be a proposal before baby arrives but I've realised it's definitely not going to happen. It's hard trying to be cool about something when it does really matter to you.

We got engaged 5/6 years ago. Not a single wedding plan has been made.

@easterbuns1 much the same situation here. I have an older DD, this is DPs first. I told him when we got together that I wanted to get married, he didn't, he wanted kids, I didn't want more. I told him the only way I would be considering more kids if I was married, and had that reassurance that he was with me for me, not a baby. 4.5 years later, still no proposal or wedding, and a baby on the way. I got to the point where I do believe that we will get married, having talked loosely about whether to just do it while in America last year (but it would cause a few family ructions), and I do believe that a proposal would have happened this year if it wasn't for so many external expenses (house renovation, house purchase, paying off debt). Whereas the age window which I would consider another baby was closing very quickly! So I gave in first. Can't quite believe I did to be honest. But I understand completely how you're feeling- It's important, but you feel like you are just caving on our principals to not push it.

Many congratulations @happydays00! He's lovely!!
@Karigan195 i hope you're ok. Poor you! Sounds horrendous.

Oooh karigan should have had her baby by now!! Fingers crossed it's all gone/going smoothly!

@happydays00 how are you and baby this morning??

Non-marrieds, have you taken any other measures to protect yourselves where you are taking on more career hit/loss of earnings/pension? We are not married and happy that way, but have structured our finances and home ownership quite carefully (and we both work part time and look after the kids part time). But we don't have wills which is not good! Need to sort that out...

Been bumped by an emergency

Argh @Karigan195 !! Hopefully the emergency will go super smoothly and it will be your turn shortly...

Ah, @easterbuns1 try not to worry, I bet he felt like it would be too cliched to do it with bubs on the way, or that it would look like that's the reason rather than his undying love ! It'll come, it's hard though when something means so much.

@IVEgottheDECAF best way - far cheaper that way!!

D'oh to the bumping @Karigan195

Oh Karigan I’m sorry. Time must be crawling for you, fingers crossed that they’ll be ready for you next.

Best of luck for this afternoon stroan, your pregnancy ordeal is finally over! You’ve been a complete superwoman to deal with everything that your body’s thrown at you this year.

Thinking of you today @stroan - good luck. You've been through so much, the end is here!

Hope it happens soon for you @Karigan195 - get thee on the carbs asap!

@Karigan195 hopefully you're not waiting too long!

@KnobJockey it's a strange one, we have spoken about it and he's said it will happen at some point so I guess I have to trust him and @kyles101 there's probably a hint of that too. The silly thing is I wouldn't even be in a massive rush for an actual wedding it's more the fact he hasn't even asked. So we would likely be like you @IVEgottheDECAF and not actually get married for ages. I just feel a bit second best because I've not been asked. I'm sure it's partly down to the fact he wants to do it "properly" and we've had a lot of expense with moving and baby etc. He's also been burnt before with a very short lived engagement so I'm sure that's a factor, although obviously I'm divorced and I've not let that put me off doing things for the second time round. Sorry that was a bit of a long winded rabble and I probably sound quite sad!

Getting married has never been that important to me. Maybe as i am from a family full of divorce! Since we got engaged we have bought a house together and had one (almost two) more babies

Another person here thinking it would be bloody nice to be asked!!!

I am a complete hypocrite when it comes to being married- before DH I couldn’t see the point, wouldn’t change my name etc.
Then he proposed and it all went out the window. I am somehow just more content now, so I totally get how some of you feel. It makes no sense whatsoever but somehow it matters to me be married and we’d not have TTC otherwise. But it is irrational (especially as I am the main earner so all I’ve done is risk my financial security by getting hitched!!)

Yes it’s not the wedding it’s the fact I’m not worthy of being asked and yet it’s ok to Go through childbirth with all its attendant risks. Financially I have my own house (rented out don’t kill me AIBU Mumsnetters 😬) and would like to go back to work ASAP and split childcare as in a career that won’t do well with large gaps. I was on babies after marriage strike too but we are where we are! I have 100% trust in him being decent but I think it’s really hard when you are in the vulnerable position of being the one who biologically has to give birth, it feels like you’re in the back foot no matter how well your other half treats you (very well in case he finds this!!)

Guys you need to watch stand up comedian Ali Wong "baby cora". It's pretty funny through but she touches on proposals and honestly it's EXACTLY how it happened with me and my husband. Mybhusband laughed alot. :D

@Stroan and @Karigan195 best wishes to you both for today, can’t wait to see pics of your little ones!

Had a weird dream last night where I wanted to check the baby was ok so somehow I pulled her out and had a cuddle but then I couldn’t get her back in and was freaking out - bizarre!

Hah decaf my family is about 50-50 horrific divorces and love forever with teen sweetheart. I'm in the latter camp so far, but not at all romantic re marriage. It's a contract, right? We might at some point take ourselves off to a registry office if it makes sense (if house prices carry on inflating it will prob be inheritance tax that does it), but we are happy that we are sharing things fairly now, and in ways that will stand up to the future. I'd be very unimpressed with some kind of proposal on one knee at this point!
Where one person is taking most of the baby related financial risks it does seem worth getting that piece of paper though. You all own your houses jointly, right??? (Or are both on the tenancy)

Just back from my csection pre op. Met the lovely midwife who will take care of me on Monday morning. Feeling very relaxed about it all and I'm so glad I made the decision to do ELCS. I'm really glad they do delayed cord clamping and will lower the curtain to let me watch them be born too, wasn't sure they would allow it.
Only annoying thing is today was too early to take my bloods so I have to go again tomorrow, means I've been 5 out of the last 6 days! Got home and think I've lost some of my plug too! Me and DH are having a date night tonight before all chaos begins!

Oh @Karigan195 you poor thing! I really hope you're in now and about to meet baby!

@Stroan - I hope the same for you too. You have both had such a slog.

@boodles101 - amazing news they have agreed to the delayed cord clamping and lowering the curtain.

I've just been to see the baby (still no name 🤦🏼‍♀️). He's doing well but I found it incredibly hard to see him in the incubator with his little lungs working so hard to breathe. The doctors were doing their rounds and assured us that's he's doing well and although some respiratory distress still - often day 2 sees them get worse, before they get better. So fingers crossed tomorrow sees an improvement.

Omg boodles you are having bloody twins