June 2019 - Part 8

[coastergirl]

I couldn't see a new thread so started one, hope that's OK.

Massive congratulations @swiftfox. So exciting to have our first baby!

I did @napssavelives it was mega annoying! You think why is my body not taking advantage of every minute of sleep available.

Up now for a feed :)

@PaulHollywoodsSexGut I had that after my first DD. The pain was unreal so you have my sympathy! 10 days after having a c section I had to have a tooth extraction and I was breastfeeding so couldn't take any decent painkilling meds. It was hell but you will get through it just be gentle with yourself take all the help you can get and it will all be a distant memory soon

I haven't posted for a couple of threads but hoping now i've started mat leave I can be a bit more active on here @MadeInCornwallx3 I've pm'd you about joining the facebook group too

Congratulations on the new babies, can't quite believe it's June already

@PaulHollywoodsSexGut

Shit, how awful for you. I have zero experience of that so can't offer any advice. All I can say is it sounds awful and the last thing you need right now. Hope the pain is eased somehow sometime soon.

@stellarfox, congrats! Hope your recovery is smooth and you have lots of cuddles in the meantime.

I haven’t kept up at all because I’m exhausted and emotional. We’ve been struggling with her feeding. Everyone tells me I’m doing the right things but she’s lost a lot of weight and I have so much guilt.

@Kescilly sorry to hear that - i’ve been there (we got readmitted on day 5 with my son due to weight lost) it was worse with him but we’re still having some issues this time but at least we knew what to expect/do. Let me know if you want to message about it. Don’t feel guilty! You are doing an amazing job.

Oh @Kescilly please be kind to yourself and try not to feel guilty. With my daughter my milk took over 2 weeks to come in. We combination fed and I weened her onto abreast off the bottle over the first month and went on to BF for over a year. You need to just do what you need to do. If you are in the UK there are breast feeding support teams at children centres who are simply amazing you can also be partnered with a breast feeding text buddy (someone experienced) who can talk you off the edge when your having a difficult feed.
My one word of advice - never settle for a bad latch even if you have to take baby off 20 times and relatch. The damage to the nipple is not worth it! Just get the latch right - the bfing advice team can help with that xxx big hugs it is not easy.

Thanks ladies, I think I’ve cried over this every day since coming home. I’ve had the midwives look, I even had a private consultant out. I have been waking her for feeds but she’s just so sleepy and lazy about them. I’ve tried all the tricks to wake her up more.

Everyone tells me I’m doing everything right, but she lost so much weight and it’s been static since then.

Now they want me to wait half an hour and express both breasts every time I feed, which is up to twelve times a day. This isn’t sustainable for me, I don’t do anything other than try to feed her.

@kescilly I’m in the process of semi purposefully winding down breast feeding as i am transitioning her onto HIPP Organic.

For me, the mental stress of breastfeeding and all it entails both physical and emotional is just too much for me right now.

Struggles with feeding with DD1 led to me getting PND, there is trying and then there’s driving yourself potty.

Do what is right for you but please within reason. You’ve got a lot on your mind with far away family etc and you have to stay strong and together for baby x

I'm having an impossible time with breastfeeding too. For some reason, is insanely painful on my left breast but ok on the right?? I've had the breast-feeding team doing a home visit, and I've been to a drop-in centre too. They just said I'm doing it right. But it's like needles in me, feeding on the left boob. It also says hot and painful for ages after I finish. But apparently it's not mastitis. I'm very close to giving up. It's been three weeks now and i dread feeding him.

*stays hot and painful, not says!

@kescilly we have had the same issues great latch but falls asleep. What with being stuck in hospital lack of sleep for the constant disruption to check me and her I have given in and have been giving her both breasts and if she is not satisfied after that then I have been giving an odd bottle of formula to stop her getting stressed and for my own sanity this is not every feed probably once or twice a day. I was planning to express and give bottles for a feed a day possibly more along side breastfeeding

All I’m going to say is this (and this was my experience with DD1 and bear in mind I’m on antibiotics for mastitis that was nipped in the bud on Thursday last week)

Sure baby latching on will hurt; it’s like having a tiny terrapin on you but your nips apparently toughen after about 3 weeks.

Internal breast pain, swelling, heat, “crackle” and soreness at rest or gentle touch indicates either

a) infection and/or
b) blockage

I’m not an expert but learned from bitter, bitter experience back in 2016 when a heap of bfing “supporters” would not listen to the pain I was in.

If you are in pain @swiftfox and you’ve tried your GP, HV, midwife etc the last point of call I’d suggest is La Leche League. Apparently they send folk out to help folks in distress and are no wallflowers when it comes to telling folk what’s wrong, whether it’s a maternal issue (mastitis) or infant (posterior tongue tie, bad latch etc).

Once again, BFing can mentally break some folk and IMVHO it is not worth it but knowing the emotions around it I’d encourage anyone to exhaust all support possible.

Good luck and I’ll shut up for now xx

Thanks for your honesty Paul
I breastfed DS for only 2 weeks despite reaching out to as many organisations that I knew about. It was painful and I dreaded every feed, so when he started cluster feeding it broke me. He did have oral thrush for a bit which passed back and forth as I fed him. I would say the pain and then the guilt of stopping b/feeding massively contributed to my PND.
I've met so many parents since who said it shouldn't have hurt as bad as it did so there was clearly a problem. If you want to carry on then I agree with Paul's advice to reach out to any support you can and keep pestering if you need to.

I think I had a blockage at one point,I think I was told to massage in the shower to help clear a blocked duct but it feels like so long ago that my memory is rubbish! I also wish someone had told me about nipple shields which might have given my nipples chance to heal.

I hope all of you struggling get some help and things improve. And if you do switch to formula please don't give yourself a hard time over it. Your baby and your choice entirely.

You've all had some great advice but I will add here what worked for me.
Le leche league definitely.
Nipple milk collection shields (allowed collected let down milk to continually cover sore nipples as breast milk is healing - when you finish / start a feed rub milk over your nipples) - I actually slept in mine so during the night any let down would not be absorbed by a pad but would bathe my sore nipples).
Lanolin - but watch the latch as it makes nipples slippery so try to keep latch area dry otherwise you get a bad latch and do more harm than good
Green Cabbage leaves from the fridge in my bra for blocked ducts - miracle cure
We kept one bottle feed a day - DH took responsibility for bottle feeds (including preparing and looking after the bottles) which gave me some respite and allowed nipples some time off and my sanity. Also DH loved having 1:1 time.
Fresh air on your nipples as much as possible.
Hot baths for blocked ducts/ hot flannels oh and also I was told best way to unblock a duct is to have the baby feed from that side but try different positions so baby can target the block.
Support support support - don't do it alone and don't do it without professional help! Reach out to BFing support sooner than later - go to drop in centres.

I'm not going to lie she was such a lazy latcher and I cried through many many feeds because of the pain but after a few weeks it did turn around.

Hi all, early breastfeeding can be so hard. I hope you all get through it and feed your babies however works best for you. When I was struggling in the early days with my first baby, I used to constantly look at this chart, and it was true for me, and really helped me to keep going. I absolutely understand the choice to keep going or not is personal and different for all - there isn’t a wrong choice, especially when it comes to your mental health, I’m sharing this for people who may find it as useful as I did.

Ooh I forgot about cabbage leaves. Great tip, they were amazing for me too! Will never forget DH's face when I suddenly whipped half a salad out of my bra

Haha @KoalasAteMyHomework I banned my husband from cooking with them 😂 dedicated boobie cabbage!

I had so many issues with getting BF off the ground with my son. Ludicrously sore nipples despite working so hard on a good latch. We hadn’t even left the hospital and they were pouring blood. Then he had a plus 10% weight loss and we were readmitted and then static weight. He crashed through the centiles and I went everywhere for help but didn’t get to the bottom of it until I saw an IBCLC who picked up he had a posterior tongue tie. This meant he wasn’t feeding effectively hence soreness and low supply (milk also came in late due to EMCS). We had to top him up with formula and I worked really hard to get my supply up - Fenugreek, rented a hospital grade pump, breast compressions while feeding. Once he had the TT division done it made so much difference literally didn’t hurt at all.

This little miss also seems to have a posterior TT. Like yours @Kescilly she is a sleepy sausage and we’re doing all the tricks to wake her up and feed as much as possible to get her weight back up and ensure I get a better supply earlier on this time. Have you been doing breast compressions when she’s feeding? It’s really not easy, a bit of pumping will help if you can (if you want to I would suggest rent a hospital grade one so you can double pump as this will give you the best results for the effort) but don’t feel pressured into an unrealistic schedule because it’ll knock everything out of you. Has she been checked for TT?

Lots of good BF tips here - I found the Kelly Mom website good as well.

rented a hospital grade pump

Yes @dinomamasaurus gonna just shout from the rooftops about the Ardo Carum, it’s a nice gentle and really effective pump, not like some of the scary milking machines I’ve had before [shudders at the memory]

I'm currently finding the whole motherhood thing so hard. Apart from painful feeding I think in the last few days the baby's developed colic. He just screams and screams and today it's been five hours of unsettled, red-faced screaming. Five hours and counting. I feed him, he falls asleep, but few minutes after I put him down he wakes up, hysterical. I have been holding him all evening, but he did this last night too which meant I didn't sleep, so I'd love to be able to put him down so I could sleep even a few hours.

Please please tell me it'll get easier!

It'll definitely get easier @swiftfox I had similar sort of issues with DS and couldn't put him down, but eventually you will be able to and you will get more sleep. You'll get through this and it'll all be a distant memory

It does get easier @swiftfox it’s the fourth trimester, hang in there and go with the flow (and draft in baby cuddler family/friends so you can sneak the odd power nap). Before you know it you’ll be in the swing of things and he’ll start smiling at you and reward you for all the hard work!

And here's me bouncing on this ball trying to get this baby out!!! 😂 maybe I should just lie down and try to drag this out for another 2 weeks lol

Oh @swiftfox we have a screaming baby here too. She goes from sleeping to screaming in the space of a second and I felt like the midwife today was judging us for it.

We have to keep going to the hospital for jaundice checks and it’s exhausting. There’s no parking and I can’t push the baby so my husband can’t even drop us off. I thought at least the next midwife visit would be at home tomorrow but they want us in yet again.

I have a newborn, I’m recovering from surgery, and they don’t have adequate facilities. I think tomorrow if they ask us to come in again I’ll say that I just want a referral for a blood test.

They told me to feed her more for jaundice which makes me so frustrated given that’s all I do around the clock. I’m worried she will have lost weight tomorrow at the re-weigh.

Dino, I’ve been doing compressions. They’ve also asked me to pump both breasts after every feed so that’s my whole life now. And today she was cluster feeding and because I had pumped, I was totally dry and she screamed and screamed at me.