Due October 2007 ~porkers can't keep their snouts out of the feeding troughs!

[j20baby]

part zillion

Im feeling very odd today, just feeling unwell but not sure what or why. Does that make sense? I have drank loads of water and had a sleep but still just feel funny

Im ok though, not being sick and getting used to the SPD now and managing most days. My amby nest arrived and its lovely, and so easy to put together. I did link one on here for you the other day going cheap on ebay but guess you missed it.
One piece of advice if your gonna sit for long, take the belt off, it doesnt do any help and just makes you uncomfertable, use it when walking or standing

Hope everyone is ok today

lisa

I meant to say thanks for the link the other day. I've got a nest that i used for Ds2 so will use that.(saves a few pennies!)
I don't think this weather is helping at the mo. Maybe that is what's making you feel funny, either that is your blood pressure ok?
I meant to ask you if you've already suffered with SPD in a previous pg as i'm really scared about how it will affect the labour and birth?

designerbaby - you sound very normal! My 4th pregnancy ( 2 dd's - 1 mc), and my dh knows that back pain, pelvic pain, general tiredness mean that sex ain't going to happen - but he didn't 1st time around. It just takes adjustment for both of you - and you may well find that your holiday helps. Talk about it with him, and let him know that you know that he doesn't mean to be upsetting you so much. He probably feels terrible too. There are other things you can do to maintain closeness. It doesn't have to be all or nothing for both of you, and I'm sure you still need cuddles and kisses just as much as ever. Don't beat yourself up about it, but if you ever have the slightest interest - seize the moment! Even if it's just a lingering kiss before work, it will reassure your dh that you still feel just the same way about him that you always did - it's just that your body is making it a bit tricky at the moment. It's only for a time, and it will change again post baby. Whatever you do keep talking about it so that it doesn't become an issue of resentment, hurt or frustration between you. Been there, and it's horrible. Hope tonight is a good evening for you.

Hello to everyone else. Someone mentioned going to Italy on holiday - can you tell me who you got travel insurance with? I'm off camping in France in 10 days time - I'll be 31-33 wks when we're there ( seemed like a good idea when we booked it! ) and can't get insurance at the moment. Thanks

DB; it is understandable that you aren't in the mood...its blooming uncomfortable at the moment....
TMI warning from me now, but we have only managed it "fully" twice in the last 2 months and each time it left me freaked out because lo went very still for a long time after and I got aches and cramps in places I was very concerned about..and no I didnt enjoy it much either..It doesnt help that dh has been hitting the Boddingtons more than usual this year and has a tum almost big enough to rival mine...not conducive to larking about! However, I know he is silently concerned that LO is going to usurp him in my affections (no he hasnt said it but I'm pretty good on the mind reading front when it come to him)so I frequently initiate a bit of teenage style petting/fooling around...often "just for him", if you see what I mean...to tell the truth I sometimes wonder if it isnt more fun not "going the whole way" as it were...it certainly lets him know I still find him attractive, that he is still paramount in my affections...I realise that I'm probabaly preaching to the converted but having been pg for the best part of our 3 yr marriage and terrified of m/c in the 1st trimester it is the only way I have managed to keep the physical side of our relationship alive.
Hope the holiday is just as perfect as it sounds and dh isnt too demanding

Hi Kiansmum

I thought it was u that wanted one, must have been someone lese on here

No i didnt have SPD last time at all, a little back pain at the end but nothing like this. I was involved in a major car crash last year so could be that
I have a BP monitor here at home due to PE last time and its fine today, so not too worried. Maybe just need to sleep more LOL.

Lisa

db - can only echo the others - especially katsh (whose name I am sure I spell wrong - apologies if that's the case) ... dh and I were only talking about this last night - he is adamant that he finds my pregnant body very sexy, and wants to show that, but I am usually such a mess by the evening that the last thing I can face is full-on sex ... not to mention the fact that with spd / coccydinia, it's nigh-on impossible!

We've come to the compromise that we're getting a little more creative if you get me ... my hormones are still making me into a very sexual beast ... and we are having fun just having "rubsies" ... which is what we used to call it before we got married!

Do keep talking to him about it - sex doesn't necessarily have to involve penetration ...

love to all ... I have had a lazy day with ds - we've watched the Thunderbirds movie on tv (in the front room, a big treat for him!), and he has had a den in his bedroom ... he's now gone outside to run off some energy (the thread on raising boys really underlined that I do treat ds a bit like a puppy - regular exercise, food and cuddles, and he's happy as a sandboy!)

Have got choir this evening, so probably won't have chance to post again today - take care all ...

p.s. inzi nice to see you back! Congratulations on starting mat. leave - it sudden;y makes it all the more real that people are starting mat leave!

Ok I am back, had my nap and feel better for it although still grumpy over what happened last night.

Dp asked me to call his ex to say we would be over saturday to give her £50 of the £100 for their ds. She spent an hour and 6 minutes on the phone, some of which was a pleasent conversation and then she began moaning about dp. Saying how he was unreliable, selfish etc as we should be paying her £100 a month for ds. Ds is 13 and apparently grown out of ALL his clothes which are needed for their holiday. I explained to her we had to move as flat is damp etc and not healthy for baby, she told me that her ds should come first. Then she starts up again over dp and for 4th time in as many months she says to me "well when he leaves you..." "oh and watch him on the computer...", this is because after a 22 yr relationship they split up as dp had met someone else online....he says himself huge mistake as he screwed up his life by moving to canada to marry woman he met....2 years before he met me. She then tells me that DP is a liar and can't be trusted....DP goes from home to work and back again, its only time we not together unless I go out which hasn't happened since being pg..we mostly go out together. She tells me how her ds is going to need a new school uniform which on top of £100 a month she expects DP to pay for....She will buy him shoes from clarkes in september and a new pair in october, then a new pair after xmas hols and another pair in feb half term, then easter hols, .....think you get the picture, She never spends less than £50 on a pair of shoes and gets pissed off when dp and I buy ds a cheaper pair, and won't let him wear them. Dp's mum emailed him to say she doesn't know how she feels about the baby as he has 2 children already (22 and 13) and he doesn't pay for them...Dp and ex had agreement if she needed anything for ds2 she only needs to ask. ds1 working full time as accountant and obviously wants for nothing!!!!! Dp's mum also said, he should have thought how baby will feel having a dad older than its friends grandparents...dp 44, 45 in August..!!!! HARDLY ancient. She also moaned how dp doesn't pay ex money towards bills and rent ?????????? he bought the house from his mum and step dads property company, and seems ex has sold it back but rents it....can't understand why he should be paying for it????????? he hasn't lived there for 4 years. Dp's ex also told me on phone that she needs money as she got ds2 involved in raf cadets and it is costing her a lot, and dp should be paying for it....ds2 was away with cadets other week and his band he is in at school had to perform in a show they had got through to...DP wasnt informed as his own mother was there and she doesn;t want to talk to him so DP had to miss out on his ds;s performance and only knew when I told him last night 2 weeks after event!!!!!!!

By time she had finished bad mouthing him and telling me how he will one day leave me I felt like total crap....ended up being really quiet towards dp when he phoned from work. He knew something was wrong even though I kept saying there wasnt and then he got it out of me. After that I kept asking dp repeatedly if he loved me and I was enough for him. He reassured me loadsa times throughout the night and then again when he came home this morning....

Soz if i have gone on too much but did try to warn you I had to vent lol.

DB - don't beat yourself up about it. I don't think you are being unreasonable, I don't feel like it either, too much of an effort, I do feel guilty telling him no all the time though.. perhaps I should show him more affection, I have probably been quite selfish about it all and not realising what his feelings are. He sounds just like your DH btw, always complimenting me etc but I just feel horrid so tend to brush of his comments. God, I can't wait to get my body back

les - what a nightmare! am on your behalf!

You need to tell dp exactly what this witch has said to you! How dare she try to come between you and dp?

Am bl00dy livid actually!

Ej, i did tell him this morning and he is furious... He wants to tell her about it but i don't want her to stop him seeing ds2. She has got him involved in cadets so that weekends when dp is off his ds2 is away. She is a right cow at times with what she does.... Oh forgot to say she knew dp was off work this weekend so has signed form to let ds2 go away with cadets. Also dp has got to phone prior to us taking the money over as his mother will be going over at some point and ex doesn't want confrontation in front of her....I think ex stirring a bit.

Too bleeding right, she's stirring ...

Glad you already talked to dp about it - how dare somebody try to undermine your relationship with your dp?

The food porn dirty talk really isnt helping with the missing of the food! LOL! MrsF - anaemia is most common towards the end of pregnancy - is to to with blooding volume increasing and becoming more dilute i believe, but dont quote me on that! Think thats why bloods at 30 weeks check haemoglobin levels.
Don't think diet alone is the best way to take in your iron, did your MW prescribe any supplements? My understanding is that you want iron levels to be ok otherwise post delivery energy levels etc really suffer.

DB - i really do not think you are being unreasonable. TBH - we have not had intercourse since I fell pregnant. First trimester - felt too nervous-i know they say there are no risks but then at the first sign of bleeding, they recommend abstaining completely, it just didnt add up for me. Then the mojo never returned. Fortunately DH has been very understanding and we have remained very tactile physically and talked about it throughout so we both understand that it isnt about not fancying each other etc.

If I were you - I would talk to DH fairly openly and try and see how he is feeling. It is not remotely fair on you to go away on holiday with this pressure looming on you. And the problem is the more you tie yourself up in knots about it, the less you will want to do it. The only fair thing is if you go on holiday with no pressure and DH with no expectation - if things happen, then fine. But if they dont, that should be fine too.

Unfortunately; all these changes are happening to your body - and the men in our lives should really respect that!

Thats my war and peace epic over! hope it helps.

Dal - the only things she mentioned to eat were green and blacks chocolate and steak!

Well then it must work for the ladies she works with. I personally couldnt face either right now. If you cant either - I would get some spatone and take it twice a day in a little OJ.

hmmm steak
I love korma right now hmmm, that and ben and jerryes ice cream.

L

HI all - thanks SO much for your supportive copmments... it realy helps to know that it's not just me... was feeling really crap about it all. I think I will try and talk to DH BEFORE he starts asking again, and yes, try and focus on doing other intimate stuff - it's difficult as he's stuck in the study with his books and laptop until so late... but I think the holiday will be the ideal time for that kind fo stuff - he won't be studying and I won't be so knackered...

Lady Evenstar... your DPs ex sounds like a nightmare - and so does his mum, and it's not fair that you're caught in the middle - I think YOU should have no more contact with the ex - she's not YOUR ex after all - let your DP handle that side of things. She's obviously very bitter and you're an easy target - she probably just hates that fact that you two are clearly happy together...

It's not really her fault that she's bahving like this, as she's clearly been hurt in the past and hasn't moved on and can't really help it, but it shouldn't be something YOU, personally, have to deal with, IMHO.

And as for the 'Old' father thing - well that's just TOTAL crap first 45 isn't very old at all, and secondly my darling Dad was 60 when was born, and it was never an issue. In fact I think he was the best Dad ever - he retired when I was 5, so he was always around when I was growing up, and was much more calm and patient than a younger dad might have been. In fact, catching people out with the 'that's my Dad, no my Grandad (he was actually several years older than both my mum's parents) was a source of great amusement for me growing up... .

So you can tell them where to stick that load of old cobblers...

DB
xx

Hi all

This thread moves so fast!

Designerbaby, I'm echoing the others, really... I just don't want sex at all either. Initially I was irrationally scared of it and now I just want to collapse when I get into bed. I think your husband'll realize eventually... I wonder if it's hard for men not being so physically involved in the actual pregnancy as us. My DH has signed up for email updates from babycentre.co.uk and he wants to know more than me about pregnancy and all; says he needs to feel involved.

LadyEStar - nightmare! Poor you. I think you should minimize/cut off personal contact with this woman, who's clearly madly jealous.

Lisa, hope you feel better! And Mrs F, dont eat steak if you dont feel like it - there must be other sources of iron.

I'm starting to feel a bit heavier now - until recently I'd felt a bit of a fraud cos my bump's been small and I've felt fairly normal, just a tad more tired. I am starting to feel the weight of the bump a bit today.

We're getting there though! August, October isn't so far away (I'm not due till 31st, but it isn't that long!).

Thanks to all those who replied to me. I did explain to DP exactly how I feel and ended up exploding at him....now he feels like crap not my intention ooppss.

On another note I been to docs, First for ds who has eczema from his shoulders to top of his bottom, it is red raw and looks so sore. Have prescription for him.

Then for me....LO is laying trans errrrr what was it.... transverse??? and putting too much pressure on my pelvis naughty boy that he is!!!!! I have a lot of blood vessels which seem to have burst and spread like spiders...docs making me appt for hosp as he wants it checked out. Also have to get urgent appt (according to docs) for midwife and have bloods done, also ask for pregnancy support belt. Which i shall do tomorrow. Luckily I have just replied to an ad on freecycle a lovely woman was offering the just needed belt and i am collecting it on Saturday. Docs worried about SPD....not sure what it is..soz having a blonde moment!!!! ok maybe I should dye my hair a diff colour and stop being blonde lol but it is natural soooooo lmao.

Other than that have made DS go to bed cos he being a sod and I want PEACEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE lmao

Hi LES

SPD is the thing me and J20 are always moaning about its when the pelvis starts to seperate too far and you get too much loosening and so all the muscles and ligaments try to pull them all back inot place. It is very painful. Well done on the belt, they do work especially for standing and walking , but dont sit in it for too long, it just gets uncomfdetable.

I hope the tests all go well and its not too hard for you. hugs
lisa

Lisa,
Thanks for that. I didn't have a clue what it was.... as gorgeous as my gp is he didn't explain or maybe he did and I was too busy swooning lol. But will see Midwife and gp wants me to have another scan to see exactly where LO is laying....why are boys awkward??? and then grow into awkward men??????? lol

Im surprised he is so worried i didnt think they were concerned about position on bumpies till later on, atleast till 36-7 weeks
I wish i had a hot doc rather than the old blokes i get. I had a hot doc when i went to a&e early in my pregnancy, he was lovely too. wish i could have him again.

Theres loads of posts on SPD, and loads of stuff online.

Hope they dont drain too much blood. I have to confess I am a complete baby when it comes to blood tests and am needle phobic, so normally end up in tears and shaking, but am better than i used to be.

Good luck

Lisa, am pretty much a baby where needles are concerned....but have had 4 tattoos, 9 earrings (4 holes in one ear 5 in other) belly button and nipple pierced...which i have had to take out HUMPH!!!!! lol But if i have to have a bllod test i pass out lmao

I had my belly button pieced too you didnt need to take it out, you can buy special pregnancy bely bars which bend as your bump grows. How long ago did you take it out?
Lisa

Lisa, only took belly out last week, have had it done 9 yrs now... so it won't close. Was more upset about having to take nipple piercing out early in pregnancy as my body spat it out lol

OMG! you lot have chatted a lot, there's no way i can catch up properly tonight, it took me half an hour to skim through.

sorry if i've come across as a bit down lately, there's so many little things what have been getting to me a bit lately, mainly not sleeping(too hot) and the tiredness from lack of iron i think, mrsfish-11.3(i think thats what you are) isn't too bad is it?( don't mean to sound patronising btw )i've verged around the 9.3 all the way through and i think i was was about 10.7 early on in the pg, the thing is i'm taking 600mg iron a day, its making me very constipated(not been to the loo properly for weeks) and giving me stomach cramps and stil not working!

Db-i really feel for you, i don't have the problem atm, as i don't have a dp, so i'm the opposite-absolutly gagging for it stupid erotic dreams! but my dd1's dad was like that and it really made me hate him sometimes when he just wouldn't shut up about it!

who said about belly buttons? i've got a maternity one in that i got off ebay, i think i got 3 for about £2.

well, dd has gone away with her dad for the weekend, so i am going to try and get wallpapering done, i've done some tonight thats why i haven't been on, and i did ask my mum to help tommorrow but she's busy with her boyfriend, (i don't know why i bother asking) but before you all tell me off, as soon as i get this done and the laminate flooring i won't be doing anymore decorating and will be able to relax.

sorry i've not mentioned everyone, will be back in morning