35+ TTC #1 Graduates!

[Kescilly]

This thread is for those of us over 35 who are pregnant with our first! It’s a continuation of a great group of people from the TTC thread. Doesn’t matter how far along you are, come on in!

@kescilly thanks for the thread. 29+5 today. Hopefully we will see some others popping in soon it is great to see so many bfp's recently.

Hi Blondcat, glad you found the thread! Was going to message you about it. :)

29+5, that’s wonderful! How are you feeling?

Yay, I was thinking about starting a thread too! I'm 10+6 now and just am having my scan next week at exactly 12 weeks.

Ignore the random "just"

Getting tired again and feel huge. Had to get cream for piles and sachets to help ease the constipation last week which thankfully seem to be helping... So glamorous! Baby has been a bit quieter today which makes me nervous but as I can still feel her moving just lower down and more subtle so think she has moved from earlier in the week where the moves were higher up and more prominent I am not going to worry too much as long as I can still feel her moving. Sigh who knew it could be so stressful...
And just as I type this she is a bit more obvious in her movements 😂

How are you doing kescilly?

Wow @pinkywoo can't believe you are there already congratulations hope the scan goes well.

Ooh hello! Good idea 😁 let the geeks proliferate 🤣.

I felt bad actually about commenting too much on the other one but kept being asked questions 😲

Hi Everyone, thanks @Kescilly for starting the thread. I'm a newbie at 4w4d. Have been following your journeys for the last 7 or 8 months on the pre-grad thread with twinges of envy... but now that I am here, have mixed feelings about the whole thing. Random thoughts from tokophobia, to a dread of morning sickness, to losing one's independence with a kid running around. Then whether I would need to ttc #2 to keep #1 company. I think I'm in panic mode... although today is a bit better than yesterday.

@birdbybird you definitely don't have to think about a #2 at this stage!! 💐 As an only myself I'm pretty clear that this is likely to be an only too!

6+0 here & just booked midwife appointment for Tuesday...

Double confirmed this morning, definitely pregnant on CB PLUS test! I am 3+2 weeks (whatever that means), so shocked. Didn't think it would be so quick, we thought it would take 6 months at least!!! This is the first cycle since getting some progesterone to regulate my period after coming off the pill. I'm 35 and never been pregnant before.

When could I do an early scan, would you guys know?

And also HOW can I hide this from my friends, I have a wedding coming up end of this month?! Any advice? I usually definitely drink so no one would buy 'I'm on antibiotics' or 'I'm on a health kick'! I am healthy but for big events I'd always drink 🤦🏻‍♀️

@birdbybird oh I'm exactly same as you. I really want to change jobs and currently in a final interview, I really want this job. Timing wise could be better but we knew this when we started TTC, I mean timing is NEVER completely right, correct?! 😃 we just thought it would take a tiny bit longer lol.

Haven't told DH yet either, I still can't believe it. I did this test yesterday and was so faint I decided to wait for today to check if true, and today I got a clear pregnant result. He is out tonight so won't see him until tomorrow.. I'll do a digital one tomorrow to really get it black on white.

How did you tell your partners?

God I don't know what to do now!!! I feel crestfallen.

Glad to see so many people make it over! I’m 32+1 today and don’t know how that happened!

To answer a few things mentioned so far, when I found out, I didn’t do anything special to tell my husband. I waited a bit, then got into bed and told him he should probably take a look and handed him the test. He’s not brilliant at waking up so it took him a few minutes!

We did a private early scan sometime around eight weeks. I didn’t want to go too early, not see a heartbeat, and get worried. We were lucky enough to see a heartbeat which meant the chances of miscarriage were reduced. There’s a miscarriage calculator online that I used to check every day, hoping that our little one would make it.

I’m pretty scared of giving birth. My way of dealing with it was to just see if I got pregnant and then I’d have to do it. Not the most brilliant idea, but baby has to come out now somehow! I’ve only just started the online course from the Positive Birth Company. It’s not really my type of thing, but I am hoping it will help with some anxiety. I do think there’s something to be said for surrounding yourself with positivity about childbirth, while still being educated and aware of the risks.

I think I’ve spent most of my pregnancy in some form of denial. First I figured I’d miscarry, then I thought let’s get through the twenty week scan, etc. And now I only have several weeks left and I’m wondering if I can even picture myself as someone’s mom! But at the same time, I feel so lucky and excited.

Those of you with mixed feelings, don’t stress too much. When I first saw our BFP I immediately thought “No way” followed by “What have we done?!”

Should we do brief introductions again? Whatever you’d like us to know about you is fine.

@sunstruck some suggestions for the not drinking I have seen have been hungover from night before, ordering just a soft drink but telling people it is something else such as vodka and coke or g&t etc. Otherwise get a no go drink and secretly switch with your dh. Not sure if any will work with you?

@Kescilly thanks for the post, I feel exactly the same! What the hell have I done, this should have taken longer 😳😳😅 I have a wedding coming up end of this month, a hen do and then another wedding in June 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

I was told I have polycystic ovaries (NOT the syndrome though), and it might take a year to get pregnant due to age and this condition which is why we started now.

It still doesn't feel real! What's your story? Good to get to know you guys as in same boat 😄

@Blondcat thanks for the advice! Yes sounds good. The only concern is that we're all staying over in the same air B n B the night before the wedding, so will be harder to sneakily not drink when friends pouring etc. wedding will be easier. Might say very sick and wanting to take it easy day before to go crazy on wedding 🤣🤪

Can I just say again I am really ... really... glad to have this thread. Other than my partner and this forum, have not told anyone else.

As for an intro:
I'm 38. My partner is 44. This was cycle #6 (cycle #5 of using opks). I'm London-based. I think my due date (if nothing happens to prevent it) is either the 6th or 7th of December.

Sorry I can’t help with the drinking! I drink, but so infrequently that no one would ever suspect anything.

@birdbybird that’s how I felt about the 35+ TTC thread. I wasn’t sure about TTC as I had wanted children much earlier in life, and it really helped to be around people who were the same age and just starting families now.

Hi I’m Kescilly, originally from the US but moved to England a few years ago when I married my husband who is British. We wanted a bit of time together before TTC and were back and forth on things a bit.

Then I turned 35 and we thought we should at least give it a go. I was feeling bleak about being childless the rest of my life. A few months later we were shocked to have a BFP and it’s stuck! I thought it would take a long time or never happen as I’ve got a lot of health issues and also had TTC’d with an ex unsuccessfully.

I’m due May 29th and we are having a little girl. 🥰

@Kescilly congratulations on your future little girl :)
I agree... I've not left the 35+ TTC thread (I want to keep up with how they're doing). Just don't want to fill the thread with pregnancy related updates/questions particularly after knowing what it feels like (and feelings of envy at others' BFP's). Its only when you see a positive result yourself that you realise the first reaction is not necessarily one of over-the-moon-happiness.
I hope we can keep this thread going. If so I'm sure lots of those from the 35+ TTC thread will be joining us soon.

Well we seem to be doing better at updates than the other threads given how near the top of the list we are!

I completely agree, the 35+ thread was really helpful for me too. I guess the simple fact that we're all older means that we have a slightly different outlook compared to a lot of the younger women TTC. And I'm actually not that surprised to find that several people on that thread also have tokophobia - which is in itself reassuring to me that I'm not alone and a complete freak!

I'm 39 and my DH is 38. He's more keen on having a child than I am, but we decided to see what happened - I really felt like if we didn't before 40 then it was too late (for us) and we had a few external stresses to get past before we did - the last of those were finally sorted at the start of the year.

I've been on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster since the beginning of the year. When it didn't happen cycle 1 I started to panic a bit that we had problems, even though the other half of my brain was relieved! And then my competitive side kicked in and was just wanting to get a BFP so that we knew everything worked. I'm now still wrestling with the 'what have we done?' especially as I've had spotting and have been feeling pretty ropey since Saturday.

We had to tell my parents as the stress of trying to keep a secret when I was already a bit of an emotional wreck wasn't helping. It was the most embarrassing phonecall I think I've ever had to make 😭. We're not telling anyone else until after we've had Harmony results and we know everything is okay as I don't want to open us up to judgement if there's a problem.

One thing I think I have realised about this process though is that I was actually totally relaxed about what my body was doing as I've been cycle tracking about 3 years (as contraception). I really felt for everyone who was trying to learn what their bodies were doing after stopping hormonal contraception and TTC at the same time.

Thanks for everyone's stories, I agree that a lot of people don't get the stress when you're above 35! I am the kind of person whom will never be 'ready, I love that we're able to travel, go for nice dinners, focusing on career etc... I guess a bit selfish!

But I also knew that I didn't want to grow old and for it to just be the 2 of us, so we had to start somewhere as we got married in Sept last year 😄

Great thread of support!

Today may be stressful, I'm going for lunch with my sister (get on really well and see each other every couple of weeks) and my mum, far more complicated! Basically I'm NC with my dad and LC with her and they don't know I'm pregnant, yet. Wish me luck!

Goodluck and try not to get too stressed. It is actually sometimes quite surprising the reaction of people when you tell them so you may be plesently surprised. Fil has been rubbish at keeping in touch but since he found out we hear from him much more regularly and he is over the moon.

Good luck @Pinkywoo . Let us know how it goes.

I'm yesterday/today about 5 weeks and no significant symptoms yet and no idea when to expect any. I contemplated doing another test this morning but didn't end up doing one. BBT has dropped a bit since the highs a few days ago and this morning was just my average post-ovulation temperature. I keep telling myself I should probably stop temping.

@babybird I didn't get any significant symptoms (few cramps, sore boobs and a bit more ahem windy than normal only) until just over 6 weeks when I suddenly was very tired and felt a bit of nausea this gradually ramped up with worst at around 10/11 weeks before it calmed down again and went around 14/15 weeks. Everyone is different so don't take what I say as what will happen with you. Enjoy little or no symptoms while you can...

Thanks @Blondcat . That's useful to know.

@Pinkywoo I hope everything went well!

@birdbybird I didn’t have strong symptoms and I was mildly surprised when we did an early scan and there was actually something there. If the temping is stressing and not helping, I’d definitely stop. It’s difficult when all you want is more information!

Well tomorrow the builder is coming to rip out the bathroom. We’ve gotten a cottage nearby for the next couple nights so I’m hoping to miss the worst of the dust, but I’m still worried. The cottage is adorable though. We were initially just going to stick me in a hotel room somewhere, but I didn’t want to leave the cat. And now my husband is looking forward to the cottage as well, so it’s like a mini babymoon! Since our trip to Bath never worked out.