June 2019 babies - part 5!!!!

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2nd trimester for all the lovely June mummies out there! Yippee!!!

@Reastie try to keep your spirits up - it's nothing that you're doing wrong, you've just been hit harder than most! The time will come when you can be more active but you shouldn't push yourself or you'll end up feeling worse xx

Thanks Reastie. My department are being great but the organisation as a whole has been a bit useless. I told my line manager at 5 weeks for various reasons and the higher ups still haven't managed to figure out the details of how my contract will work (it's fixed term but for a certain number of years of actual work which can only be done by me, so my original contract needs to be extended). But I can't fault my immediate colleagues or my line manager who has been a star. I mostly just don't want to ask for too much or put people out! I find it hard adjusting to being pregnant and needing more help from others.

I'm sorry to hear you've been having such a rough time, how many weeks are you? I have also had a few good sobs when my SI pain has peaked. Having to stay home and not do much gets old very quickly. and for you.

Thanks. I’m 16+4. I shouldn’t complain as th past week or so I have generally improved from where I was, maybe I’m expecting too much too soon and just need to be more gentle. I’ve been stuck at home signed off feeling rubbish since 4 weeks so I guess cabin fever frustration was bound to hit eventually. Dm suggested getting a diary and writing in how good/bad I am each day and what activity I can manage so that even if I feel like I can’t achieve anything I can still see progress from where I was. I’m looking for a cheap diary online as I can’t get to the shops but can’t find one. Maybe I should try to get to Poundland next week to get one to get out of the house (and then have the joy of suffering the aftereffects of doing stuff ).

@Reastie please don’t be so hard on yourself! I was just thinking today, I’ve been surprised by how much I’ve enjoyed pregnancy. I have always wanted children but never really looked forward to pregnancy. I’m sure the third trimester will be different, but so far I haven’t had many issues and some of my regular problems have abated.

But every other time in my life I have asked myself the same questions that you are now. I tend to get sick quite often and have a lot of chronic health problems. It’s difficult to stay employed because of them and I often feel like a failure. I wonder why everyone else can get on with life and I’m the one who can’t cope.

But it’s not our fault! We are dealt the hand we’re dealt, and do the best that we can. You won’t feel like this forever. Take care of your health and be kind to yourself.

I feel ya Reastie! There's nothing I want more than to start getting out for good long walks as I've pretty much done nothing for 3 months but I just can't and now I'm worrying when it comes to labour I'll be at my weakest ever because I haven't been able to do much. I'm so glad you're seeing some improvement though. I've read so many people saying they just woke up one morning and the sickness and nausea was gone but mine seems to be A LOT more gradual. You'll get there, we all will!

I called into work yesterday to tell them I'll be coming back when my current sick line ends on Thursday. I'm down to only being sick once or twice in the morning with a bit of nausea morning and evening so I think I'll be able to deal with it. Everyone yesterday was so lovely and I can't wait to get back! The nature of my job is quite physical so I'll have to be on reception duties, which I hate, but yesterday I found out there's another girl who's pregnant so I'm happy about that!

Naps, I really hope you're ok, I can't even imagine what you're going through! I hope you've got good supportive people around you.

Thank you for the sympathy, it really really help more than you know. Kescilly I’m sorry about your health problems you have that must make things really tough.

I know I can’t help it if I’m the same again but I really really want to do more this time. Last time I didn’t see a single friend for the whole 9 months. I was isolated, lonely, depressed and anxious. Because I have emetophobia (phobia of vomiting) and was feeling so sick the whole time I was literally living a nightmare that lasted 9 months. Mentally it broke me. I guess knowing how bad I was last time is helping me this time to be kinder on myself, have low expectations and be aware of how I feel and tell the professionals how bad it gets. It’s just it doesn’t help when I just can’t do anything without feeling terrible. I even try to to ‘fun’ craft things that I’ll never have time for once the baby comes, think sitting down at a table sedentary activities and I can’t manage more than half an hour or even that stimulation over exhausts me.

Weebean I’m so excited for you to be up to going back to work. Take it easy initially if you can so you don’t get a relapse. I know what you mean about labour and being in weakest physical state. Last time I got to the point from 20 weeks that so long as I did next to nothing I felt ok but when I tried to do stuff I felt awful again, so I did minimal as it was the only thing I could do to cope to get through, but by the end I literally struggled to walk short distances, I was in a rubbish physical condition. I guess your body is designed to do this and that baby is going to have to come out!!

Thanks Reastie, I'm so excited to go back! My work are actually pretty good about staff welfare especially when it comes to pregnancy and will let you go home an hour earlier if they can. My post is busy in the mornings then it quietens down but they know I'll have my sick bowl with me. I guess so, our bodies are pretty amazing! I think I might mention it to my midwife at the next appointment just so they're aware I have concerns.

I'm encouraged by the fact you'd do this all again to have another one! Mentally I think this whole thing might be even more taxing than physically! I really hope you continue to see an improvement ☺️

Weebean it has taken 7 years of ‘I am absolutely never ever ever ever going to pg ever again ever’ to get to this point! I’m keeping my eyes firmly on the prize and the fact it will be over! If I can do it again then you can. I was so scared of getting pg again that after dtd with dh when ttc I’d keep bursting into tears saying ‘I can’t do pg, what if it’s a mistake and I can’t get through it again’. But yet I’m 16 weeks and surviving so far!

I’m sad. Went to a kids party to day. Husband came too to act normal for the kids. It really hurt seeing him coo over a friends baby. Guess it’s the polite thing to do but still hurts. Oh and we had sex thus morning. I clearly have no self respect.

I went to the midwife yesterday, they were great. Referred me to an anti natal support group, checked baby’s heart beat and my bp. They are going to check in with me next week.

I’m sad, I want by normal back, by future as a family and not this. This isn’t what I wanted

@Reastie @WeeBean I feel your pain. I'm 20+2 today and I'm still being sick, literally threw up just a few hours ago. It's really starting to piss me off now. I'm keeping food and water down majority of the time though so no real cause for concern, just irritating more than anything!

@Napssavelives I'm sorry to hear you're still struggling. Have you spoken to him about what's going on or about the future/long term since he initially said it? Is he still at home or has he moved out? Sorry if you've said already this thread moves so fast! Sending you massive hugs xx

He doesn’t know what he wants. He’s depressed, off to the drs next week to get signed off work and meds hopefully. He doesn’t know what he wants and I feel like I need to give him that space for the kids :( one of us has to try give us a chance . Fairly sure he’s going to walk out again soon

We have just purchased our family car 😱..
I'm almost a bit scared of it but I loooove it :)

@Reastie I’m mostly feeling human again, after a pretty horrible first trimester (felt very nauseated a lot of the time, and had many days when I couldn’t do anything, although clearly not as bad as you’ve had it).

I still find that I very often can’t do much. Today I’m having another “stabbing pains to the uterus” kind of day. I was going to pop in to Liverpool and do some “shopping” (no money!), but have instead mostly sat around and been pathetic. The stabbing pains are hardly happening at all now, though!

(I had errands to complete, and ought to help my sisters to prepare dinner, but that’s just clearly not going to happen.) (And I’m hungry, but the food is all Not Right, so I’m going to be staying hungry for a bit, by the look of things.)

So yeah. My situation is easier than yours, and is still frustrating. It will all be worth it in the end, though.

Tried my pregnancy pillow last night. I live it. I got a full nights sleep! Added bonus of hubby deciding to sleep in the spare room as he didn't think he'd fit in the bed too. It was like snuggling in to a still, I'm complaining, non snoring, non farting husband all night!

I didn't really like the pillow last time round but there seems to be loads different with this pregnancy to the last one.

Fairly sure he’s going to walk out again soon

This is an absolutely awful predicament to be in @napssavelives

Good he’s off to see the GP but who is looking after you? Have you flagged this to your MW?

Sorry @napssavelives I’d missed your post re the midwife

Yep. They were great. I’m so tired and drained and so desperate for him to stay. I love him so much and I’m not sure I can do this alone

@Napssavelives I'm so sorry you are going through this. I had wondered about his mental health. I don't want to seem like I'm defending him, but I'll try and explain something. I struggle with anxiety, and it can tip over into depression at times. I had horrendous antenatal depression with my little boy. I was suicidal. It had a huge impact on all my personal relationships, particularly with my husband. I felt like the relationships were wrong, but it was the depression. I knew that the people around me were going through hell because of how I was being, but I just couldn't do anything about it. I did care, but in a way I didn't. (I can't explain this at all). I think how awful I felt was just so all-consuming that it took over everything. It really is absolutely horrendous for all involved. If this is how he's feeling, I really think he might not be thinking clearly. You can't see things clearly until it starts to lift. Meds really can help. The antenatal depression started to kick in again with me this time, but between pregnancies I've been much more honest with my doctors about last time, resulting in them keeping a close eye on me this time. My meds have been quickly adjusted and I feel much better. A big part of this is that my relationship really suffered again and I felt that it was totally wrong.

I'm not sure I'm making sense, and I'm really not trying to stick up for him. It's awful for you to go through. I really hope something positive comes from him seeing the GP.

Obviously if I'm way off the mark here, please feel free to ignore! I'm really thinking of you regardless.

I agree, that’s how I feel and he agrees he’s depressed but seems to think even if that changes he may not stay. I told him he shouldn’t make decisions when unwell (I’ve struggled with my mental health for a long time so kbow this). It’s heart breaking tocthink he may walk. I want my husband back

Hi all! 19 weeks today, and I finally bought things for the baby. We went to Aldi today and got some right bargains... vests, Muslin cloths, changing mat, socks and a hooded towel for £16! I played it safe with the grey stars on white theme as we don't find out the gender until Wednesday. I'm excited, scared and nervous all at the same time for that. Feels like I've been waiting forever for the day.

Sorry to hear what some of you are going through. Sending lots of love. Xx

Baby has been quieter the last 24grs. I don’t we don’t monitor movement until 24 weeks but with everything going on I’m worried. I’m still got a week and a half until my 20 week scan. I beed this baby to be ok .

@Napssavelives please try not to worry about movements. I'm 20+3 today and I'm still not sure if I'm feeling movements! But we had our scan and saw the baby wriggling away, so I know it's okay.

You're going through so much right now, try not to add to your worries.

@Napssavelives I'm not feeling any movements and I'm 19 weeks with my second baby.. they told me I'd feel movements earlier!
I hope everything is okay but try not to worry too much as like everyone's said, you have so much going on right now. Xx

I'm not feeling real movements at 18+6. Sometimes I think I felt something, but tbh it could just be wind or something... it's my first so I don't really know how to tell the difference.

Dh and I have been buying lots of bits for the baby lately. Aldi has great offers and found some great second hand deals for cot etc.
Now I found the pram travel system we really want as a January deal for £200 less, but I'm not sure whether to get it or not before our 20-week Scan in 1.5 weeks. What are your opinions on that?
If I wait the deal will be over, but before the scan we don't even know of everything's ok with our little one even though previous scans and tests have been fine. Am I overthinking it? 🙈

@annihall is there a return policy that you could use if you had some bad news? Personally I'd say go for it, but that's easy for me to say as we just had our twenty week scan. I didn't buy anything beforehand though I don't think there's anything wrong in doing so. And there have been some good sales on!

My mother is visiting and we went out shopping for baby items yesterday. It's been nice being able to do this with her as I haven't seen her since I was 4 weeks pregnant. We've now ordered our nursery furniture and travel system so it's all feeling a lot more real! I've been blown away by my parents' generosity and wish that we could do more for them.