February 2019 babies... here comes the third trimester

[maxiflump1]

New link ladies...... the final trimester is here!

Also forgot to ask, I feel atm like I am short of breath, had a lot of pain in my stomach yesterday and my sickness has returned! I think baby has moved and everything feels very squashed! I can't remember feeling like this with my others! I'm only 27 weeks I hope this isn't a sign of things to come 😩

@sickmumma I’m feeling short of breath and sick as well, not very sick but just s bit sick on a lot of days for the past 3-4 weeks. The last few days I’ve felt a bit bug and uncomfortable like the third trimester discomfort might be here

@AliceRR and @Sickmumma I also have the breathlessness, but I do have a stinking cold now and also anaemia so either/both could be contributing.

Regarding visitors, I have no PIL so the dad isn’t involved and am living with my parents so they will be there constantly. We discussed visitors more generally at my NCT yesterday and one woman said her sister had always told local people who asked to come and visit they could come for half an hour only. It seems that setting firm boundaries so you didn’t have guests for half the afternoon was a good idea.
My mum also said stay in your pjs for the first few days, as if people visit then they will offer to make tea etc. because they don’t think you’re 100% capable of doing everything, but if you’re up dressed and pristine they expect you to be a normal host. I thought that was a pretty good tip 2bh.

@twiglet that's a tough one because it's not just them that will want to visit if you have friends and other family so if they're there a full week it will be awkward.

Could you say... you can come BUT you can't stay as we will be busy so to only come a day or so?

I'm lucky where we both have separated parents who's wife's don't get on so I can just say the other one is visiting. Instant repellant 😂

Visitors wise as well I was advised to do a 9am-12 'slot' and 4 -7 kind of thing so you have time to rest and have dinner etc.

Also if I don't have a C section and can drive then go to them because you can always leave!

We are being stricter with visitors this time! My close friend's are all very considerate and so I'm not worried about them pushing it, and I'm hoping we'll have less extended family visitors (all DH's family as the majority live close) as it's the second baby so less interesting/exciting. It's my in laws (well, MIL) who are the problem. They were over every single day in DS's first week, not being helpful at all eg bringing food or making cups of tea, just wanting cuddles with the baby, making me feel uncomfortable if I needed to BF.

I distinctly remember New Years' eve, DS was only 5 days old, I was rushing round making their complicated hot drink orders (black coffee with two and a half sugars anyone?!), whilst DH was helping FIL with a job application form! It was ridiculous, and I wouldn't put up with it now.

They (PIL and SIL) can come and visit once as soon as we're up to it to meet the baby, of course (I'm hoping I'll be up to it when we're still in hospital as there won't be any hot drink making plus they have limits on their visiting hours) but after that we're going to say we want at least a week (maybe longer if we can keep them away!) to bond as a family. DS' behaviour when MIL is around is awful anyway as she spoils him to the extreme, so I'd rather a calm environment for him while he gets used to his new little brother.

Hope the scan goes ok.. I did the same went in for monitoring for reduced movements, they referred me for a scan and he hasn’t stopped battering me since!

The breathlessness has got me too, pregnancy is the only time my asthma flares up, I have to carry an inhaler everywhere... I work in an attic office, and need it when I get to the top of the stairs 😂

Thankfully my MIL is lovely, she’s local and has kept some annual leave ready for February. My parents are local too.. but they never really visit, they’ve got their own health issues going on.

I had PND with both my other kids, so I’m fully prepared for that to happen again 😬

We have no local family (excluding my sister who lives with us) so my main worry is that everyone who wants to visit will end up staying longer than an hour or so which I’m not sure I can cope with.

My mum especially oversteps boundaries all the time by doing things like moving our pictures and ornaments around. OH hates it when she visits. She’s also a smoker and an alcoholic so it’s an all round bad environment for a new born.

I think the visitor situation is all very personal. My parents and sister came to see us when dd was less than a day old bringing presents and making cups of tea/food then went home that night. It was lovely! We thought we wanted a few days to ourselves but knew they were on hand if we needed (an hour away). DH ended up phoning my Mum the day after we came home asking her to come and stay. She did and was amazing - cooked, cleaned, took dd for an hour or two when we were about to drop. MIL came to stay for a week after that and had to be asked to make food one night. I just don't think she wanted to be in the way but wasn't very helpful. We're likely to do the same again this time while we settle in to having a toddler and baby but know what we need to do to prepare for MIL's visit a bit better.

Where is the best place to get second hand baby furniture?

@DeliberatelyGinger Facebook marketplace and eBay (if you set it to nearby you only) are both great for second hand baby furniture. I’d give them a look.

Scan fine, baby is perfect! She's been moving a lot overnight and this morning and has done a 180 flip from her previous positioning so I think she was just in a weird position.

Have to say, I am so impressed with the care we got. We called at 4.30pm yesterday, were seen at 5.30pm and instantly strapped up to the CTG. Offered tea and dinner even though we were only there for an hour.

Back in for our scan this morning and seen on time by an absolutely lovely lady who talked us through everything and gave us some pics of baby's face!

I feel really happy about giving birth there now!

We're really lucky on the family front. All my immediate family live close (max 20 min drive) and my mum and Mil are great (especially my mum). My mum usually goes on holiday around the time we are due but has pushed it back so she doesn't miss out and can be around for us. (I didn't ask her to, she insisted).

My sisters are Brill too and both have kids so know what is OK etc.

@Celebelly - I'm so pleased everything is OK, I bet you're relieved x

@Celebelly really glad to hear all is well and it’s also great to hear it’s given you extra reassurance about the care you will get.

Random, but those of you who have had sections (or are having them) - what's the difference in whether you get spinal block or epidural?

Just been reading up a bit and a bit concerned that when I had my epidural with my VB I could still feel everything? (Although not as painful) xx

@celebelly ahh thats lovely news.
My mum said to me yesterday what will the baby sleep in at my house I said he wont be sleeping at your house! She seems too think because I lived there when i had DD and because she has her own room now the baby will be having weekly sleepovers. Im so funny about being apart from my child especially when they are that young. I have a friend her daughter goes to her mums every weekend friday evening until sunday afternoon and I just think its wrong! Whats the point in having a child if they are at school all week and then shipped off for the weekend!

@Lulabell1 - I get where you're coming from. My first night away from my son will be when I am in hospital having this baby (he is 3 in March). I totally get why people need a break etc but I'd hate to be without him x

Anyone who has had a growth scan recently....

Did they tell you babies weight now?

They did at mine last week. She was estimated at being 3.5lbs or so on the day judging by the various measurements.

@babyp160 yes is in my scan reports 2lb14 at 28w4d my last scan so she is a big one. Bit of a shock!

The midwife consultant also talked me through my scan report. Explaining all the measurements etc. And my actual midwife said when she sees me next week we will go through the report together also.

You can also work it out from your growth chart.

@celebelly so pleased everything is ok, it is so worrying!

I haven’t really thought about visitors yet except my Mum told DH that she wants to known immediately when baby is born so she can come and see her, which I don’t mind and think it’s nice although not sure how that would work if it’s the middle of the night. I have aunts and cousins etc also local who will probably come to the see the baby and I think my friends will probably wait a couple of weeks so I don’t expect to be inundated. I have family abroad who want to visit baby but I expect they’ll stay with my parents and then visit us from time to time. DH family are in the midlands so they can’t exactly just pop in repateadly and so shouldn’t be a problem.

I do worry about DH’s son as I wonder what would happen if I go into labour on a day he’s supposed to have him. Obviously I’d like to think he won’t leave me when I’m in labour or immediately after I’ve had the baby to do a two hour trip to pick up his son but realistically I don’t want a teenage boy in the house in the days following the birth as I will be getting to grips with breastfeeding etc. I haven’t mentioned this but I have been thinking about it.

I am not someone who would BF openly BTW. It’s each to their own bit my upbringing is such that i currently feel I wouldn’t BF in front of anyone other than DH comfortably but maybe mother and female relations / friends. I would feel I had to go upstairs if my Dad and brother were there too.

Had a v anxious night worrying about movements but thankfully has picked up and seems all fine today.

Family wise - PIL and all DHs family are imp SA so no visit from them till next sept earliest. Mine are local - an absolute god send last time. I’m much more relaxed this time, I’m comfortable saying no to people but likewise I’m expecting to be up and about fairly quickly as I understand recovery with an ELCS to be far easier than am EMCS!

Re epidural - I don’t know. I had one obviously last time but I don’t think I could feel anything - they had done it pre-emptively as they knew it was a possibility for a c section anyway. Couldn’t feel a thing - needle in back - no issue.

@Since2016 - thanks. I just worry that I could feel everything (although less painful) and move my legs and everything?? I expect to feel pressure but worried I'll feel more! 🤢

And a bit random (as I don’t know if anyone else has mentioned this) but my bottom hurts. Particularly when I get up. I’ve had pelvic pain around my upp inner thighs and sort of pubic bone but the buttocks aching seems to have come on the last few sags!

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