Yammer Grads

[SoozC]

Calling all up-duffed Yammers! Come and continue the swearing and the love on our pregnancy thread, and let us never forget how lucky we are!

I’d go ahead, the amount of dye that will reach your blood stream is minimal and with highlights it’s even less as generally they don’t go down to the scalp.

I agree with others that the Baby Box is the best freebie. If you get the Emma's Diary packs collect all 3 packs at once; there's not enough in there to justify 3 trips! I've also just signed up for the Boots parenting club and got some vouchers through for free pregnancy vitamins and extra points.

Another one here for reusable nappies. I'm hoping to get some from Aldi on Thursday. They've got the Bambino Mio all-in-ones for £8.99 each.

June, I haven't chosen any resuables yet! My cousin (who realised through motherhood that she's a hippy at heart and a big advocate of reusable nappies!) gave me one each of three different ones so I could try them out. But I have no idea which are best, I really need to start thinking about it more seriously! Plus, if I'm to get DH on board, I need a foolproof system for the liners etc. The changing table isn't in the bathroom so I'll have to figure out how to empty contents down the toilet easily whilst holding baby!

I have Cheeky Wipes too! Got to get the boxes set up but I'm looking forward to it. I don't like using the wipes we have. Putting them and the nappies in the bin each time makes me feel so sad for the environment, even if I am using eco nappies.

No advice re. hair dye. I didn't dye mine while pregnant but then I was a big worrier about anything even remotely iffy! I must get my hair done now though - too many grey hairs are showing!

Hi everyone, how are you all doing? I'm 20 weeks now and still nauseous....boo!

Does anyone work in HR etc or just know the answer to this? So my manager and I wrote out a maternity risk assessment together about what I will/won't do and how I can assess situations as they arise. Basically if there are any risks of violence etc I will ask someone else to attend or provide telephone support only. This week a manager of another team asked my manager (without asking me) for a copy of my risk assessment because I "might have attended an appointment that I shouldn't have"

My manager replied saying that they could ask me themselves but that she's confident in my ability to assess risks and copied me in.

I've replied declining to share the risk assessment (if I shared with one team I'd have to share with hundreds more!). I explained how I've been deciding whether to attend or not and asking for more details about their specific concern (as I have no idea what I've done!)

I don't have any sort of obligation to share the assessment with other managers or colleagues do I?

@Rubberduckies Your risk assessment is confidential and should only be accessed by those who need it (ie you and your manager). If you were doing work for another department then they should be doing their own risk assessment. Are you in health/social care? That's how it is in my trust - I've got a risk assessment for every area I work in (main contract and two areas for bank)

I had my 12 week scan today, everything looked great, very wriggly little baby! Due 25th July Yay!

@maddiie3 your not that far behind me! Im due 15th July. 😁

@Pinkemi Ah how exciting!!! How are you finding everything so far?? I'm so excited to start enjoying it. I've been a nervous wreck since I found it just waiting for it to go wrong

@maddiie3 that's great news!

Thanks @mynameisjune, @si1ver and @Sooz, opinions appreciated 😊 I’m veering towards just going ahead as I can’t see a huge amount of actual evidence against it. My hairdresser is pregnant herself, so I can hopefully suss our how recently she dyed hers and discreetly follow her lead that way! 🤣 it’ll be nice to have a chat with her too to hopefully pick up tips! This whole process is such a blooming minefield of do’s and donts!
Congrats @maddiie3, that’s great news! It must be nice to have someone die so close @Pinkemi

Oh my Lord, not die😳 That should be ‘who’s’
Blooming autocorrect! So sorry ladies! x

@WonkyDonk87 That makes sense. Yes it is. I work in a specialist team which provides support and advice to other teams across the county. So I'm always working in the same job, doing the same role and have the same manager if you see what I mean. I did a separate one for my bank contract because it's a different role, in a different department with a different manager...

@Rubberduckies IMO then the only person who needs to see your risk assessment is you and your manager. Quite frankly if you're at that level of experience, I'd be a bit offended if someone questioned my risk assessment skills .
It's my last day at work today. Going to feel very weird come Monday. My job is a big part of my role and identity so giving it up for a year is like losing a bit of myself IYSWIM. Going to miss my colleagues loads too.

@Wonkydonk87 Yep I was pretty angry (still am really) but just wanted to check I wasn't being unreasonable! Glad my manager stuck up for me.

Wow last day. I can imagine that's very weird. It will be absolutely worth it though and might change how you think about your job too (or so people keep telling me!) How much time do you plan to take off?

I've planned for a year, so we'll be utterly skint ha ha! But I figure there's a very real chance that the pension age will keep rising and/or state pension will be scrapped for those with decent work ones so I'll be going until I'm 70 - I'm taking the extra few months whilst I can

Ha!! I had the same thought! I earn more than Dh too so it's slightly concerning but we're just going to try and save up a bit now to tide us over. I'm sure it will all be fiiiiine!

Hey guys! Sorry I havent checked in for a while!

I finally told my work colleagues today at 14 weeks! Told them to keep it off social media but i feel so much better for telling them. It was stressing me out trying to keep the secret and pretend that i was doing ok, instead of being honest when I don't feel well!

Other than that things are progressing okay here.. Just looking forward to having an actual bump!

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

I am being exhausted. DS isn't sleeping well at night, has colic and won't sleep in the day unless he's on me.

I had no idea it would be this hard and sometimes, in the middle of the night, I do wonder if we made a mistake. How awful is that, after all the years of heartache? I know it'll pass but I do hate nighttime now.

@sooz it will absolutely get better but you have my sympathy. And it’s perfectly normal to feel that way as well.

In terms of naps he is still really little, I’d just go with it. Forget the housework for a while. He will start sleeping on his own. Google the fourth trimester and it will explain a lot.

Hugs, Sooz. Colic is evil, DD suffered terribly and I can still remember the anguish. I can remember rocking and sobbing in panic that I'd made the biggest mistake of my life. June has it. Forget jobs, grab what sleep you can, eat for energy and make sure your DH is giving you a few hours rest.

I'm often up for couple of hours in the middle of the night. My DS does 2 long chunks with a wakeful feeding frenzy period in the middle most nights, so I'm in bed as soon as both kids are asleep and DH fends for himself I'm afraid. I also get him up an hour before his alarm if it's been a tough night so I can have that hour before he leaves.

So.. im really struggling. I feel terrible for feeling this way because we fought and fought to get here.. and now that im finally pregnant im freaking out.

DH and I have quite a few external problems going on at the moment which means hes away quite a bit. Im spending a lot of time alone in the week.. going to bed on my own and waking up whilst hes still asleep. In short.. we are getting to spend maybe a couple of hours together here and there where we end up watching tv. Im basically fending for myself most of the time.. cooking, cleaning etc on my own. Weekends are pretty much the same pattern, but i might get a bit more time with him.

Thats just a general idea.. coz i dont want to say too much..

But anyway im struggling. I feel anxious and severly insecure a lot of the time. i spend most nights crying myself to sleep.. or waking up from a nightmare crying and hes not here. (The nights he is here its fine coz i can just hug him and go back to sleep.) Im either sleeping far too much or tossing and turning.. i generally feel helpless.. but im frightened to talk to anyone about it (like medical) incase its depression.

I can't see any way this pattern will change unless DH changes something..

I dunno why im telling you guys all this.. just.. fed up.

Pink lovely that sounds shit. Ante natal depression is a real thing and it really sounds like you could do with talking about it. There's no stigma only help. I didn't have it, that said I took citalopram for 3 years which was on my notes and my midwife was very vigilant with me in a helpful, kind way.

It sounds like you're quite emotionally reliant on your DH; have you talked to see if he can cut down on the time he's away? Do you have any other support? Keep talking here too if it helps. I'm alone with DS a fair amount while everyone does school / work and happy to chat.

Pink that sounds like a really lonely place to be at the moment. Have you got anyone else you can spend time with? Do mention this to your midwife, and maybe your DH too? Don't waste time putting it off, when with some extra support around you then your pregnancy can be better

@limpLettice ive come to realise im very emotionally needy.. without saying to much he feels like he cant cut down on the time he is away because its looking after a sick relative.

@wonkydonk87 i have mentioned it to DH.. but like i said above we just dont know how to change it. Its a really hard situation.. and i feel guilty that i am demanding time from him.

I have a few friends nearby who i could see.. but im struggling to create the effort to actually go.. you know? Its too easy to just stay at home and mope.

Im looking into going back for Reflexology sessions.. because i used to love them and they really helped me to relax.

And perhaps look into some counselling sessions or something.. i dunno...

Do you have something locally that you can self refer to? Our primary care do CBT for low mood and anxiety either face to face or over the phone and you can self refer. I'd hope it's pretty standard nationwide (if you're in the U.K.?). Definitely worth asking your midwife. Don't just let it go on xxx