March 2019

[BunLovinCriminal]

Hello all! I got my BFP this morning at 10dpo and am apparently due 1st March with my third baby. Now feeling that familiar paranoia about what might go wrong, but hopeful all will be well. Is anyone else due in March yet? 😬

@pushit I don't feel sick either... thankfully! I'm only just 5w today though. I am sure sure a few others in the group were a week ahead of me though so I might have some nausea to come!

By the way ladies:

www.food.gov.uk/news-alerts/alert/fsa-prin-35-2018

Check your frozen veg!

@TheWanderlust That's very sweet. Personally I wouldn't have let my DC have my OH's name unless we were married. I'm selfish. Hence why we got married last Oct 😂 from what I can tell the official name is on the birth certificate. I don't know whether other mums can chip in, but there are hassles involved in having a child that doesn't carry your surname which you'd probably need to think about if you aren't getting married immediately. But of course, you didn't ask for an opinion on it ;) for me I find it a lot easier to manage the DSS now I share the family name as people are less likely to question you.

When I was feeling sick I hardly ate for the week, but @pushit I don't feel sick now and eating as per usual. Don't worry. Everyone will feel different and have different symptoms even at the same point.

RedRobin7 that’s just mean of him get him to share the chocolate

pushit I don’t feel sick just not myself if that makes sense. But to reassure I never had one symptom with dd and trust me she is definitely ok if not a very noisy 3 year old

@frankiefumbles I'm slightly torn, OH has a much nicer name than me, and we always intended to get married,, just I fell pregnant first which has delayed our plans a little. Will be such a hassle to change it again when we do eventually get married.

@TheWanderlust I'm just totally selfish 😂 whatever works for you. We eloped and did a cheapy on a public beach just to get it done, but no one had expectations of us to have a big party. I can totally see why you'd make life easy by prenaming baby ready for when you get married! Have you thought of double barrelling for baby it until you get married? My name wouldn't have double barrelled well with DH so I twisted his arm and convinced him to get married (that's how love stories work right?!). I basically said to him I'd only have a baby with him if we got married and he decided he'd go with it 🤗 otherwise I just didn't think it would ever happen. I sound really difficult now 😂

@TheWanderlust I know that better name feeling... we got married last July (22nd we're going to Paris for our anniversary!) and his name is so much easier to manage, I had to spell my maiden name every time I gave it out! Took me about a week to get used to signing it and had pre-applied for my passport so had it as ID immediately after the ceremony (they pre date them).

TheWanderlust I also wouldn’t give the baby his name without a wedding certificate! I can’t actually remember why, but I’m sure there are some good reasons.
Would you do a quickie legal marriage now and then the big wedding at a later date?

DH has opened a bottle of white tonight. He’s going away tomorrow and I’m not going to drink it so I guess that means he will be drinking the whole bottle

oh gosh, I was wondering today about what surname the baby will have. Our friends with kids have chosen all different options - one couple's baby has mum's name; another dad's; another double-barrelled; another gave their baby a brand new surname. DP is quite keen on the last option, and has suggested a surname from his family that he's always liked. I am iffy.

If we ever marry (we've been together 7 years and it just doesn't seem important), I'll be keeping my name, but I'm totally happy for the kids to have his - my friend made me feel a bit bad feminist about this. The new surname means nothing to me, and it strikes me as a bit lonely for the poor little baby to be the only one who has it, rather than being clearly part of a particular family. I feel v pedestrian for having these opinions!

I've been feeling pretty vom today, but am in a hotel for work and have treated myself to a curry and a bar of chocolate. It's BRILLIANT. Really suprised I have the appetite for it. Me and my knockers are just going to hang out and watch Love Island all evening.

Interesting surname discussion! I didn't change my surname when we got married - didn't see why I should have to! It's my name and I am rather attached to it.
So DS has both surnames - mine first - and we register him for everything with his full name but tend to just use DH's surname for him on a day-to-day basis.

@frankiefumbles I love how you gave him an ultimatum 😂 maybe we could get married next week when we go to Spain? Ha.

@Shampooeeee I've never wanted a big wedding so that's not a major issue. Just know we're likely to upset a few family in the process.

OH has gone out for works drinks as he's changing jobs so I'm sat here with the dogs working out where we are going to fit baby things into our house 🙈

@Shampooeeee I think the key is that if you have a child and you are unmarried, if you want the dad to have "parental responsibility" PR then they must be put down on the birth certificate in order to get PR.

My DH is missing this for his DS because (ahem) DS mother was a bit sly and despite being in a relationship with DH at the time, didn't put him on the birth cert. we know find out that there are a few key issues - if DS mother were to die, DA would automatically go to her next of kin which is NOT DH and also he has no official say on medical/academic stuff etc. He can apply for PR if he wanted to but unless the mother agrees it becomes a legal issue.

So, I know that all sounds negative...but basically if you like your partner his name should go on the birth certificate so that they can have the child in the unlikely and horrible event that you are no longer. Wahey - that got fun fast...sorry guys.

@TheWanderlust You are more on the button than you think. We were headed to Hawaii for an all important triathlon event and I said hey, why not do it there. He said, yes as long as he doesn't have to organise it....

Surnames are a hugely personal thing and there is no right and wrong answer for either your baby surname or your married surname. I love having DHs name but miss my old name. I primarily took his name so our children could have the same surname. I wouldnt want the hassle of being asked about the origin of your child (oh is he yours?) and I think the next best option (for me!!) would have been to double barrel. If you feel chilled about baby having DH-time-be's surname then...yknow...your prerogative. I'd have kind have felt left out, but I'm a bit of a sap!

Know=now
DA=DH
Baby brain?

I don’t feel sick. But I didn’t with DS so not bothered about the lack of queasiness. My mother has 4 children and only had morning sickness with one of her pregnancies.
I discovered another early pregnancy “symptom” this evening: elevated resting heart rate. I was scrolling through my Fitbit data (my husband has a new heart rate monitor and keeps sharing his data so I thought I’d look at mine) and my resting heart rate has gone up slightly from 62bpm to 66bpm. It suddenly went up 2 weeks ago. I googled it and it is A Thing.

@TheWanderlust @ladycarlotta my DP and I have been together 9 years and we aren't married, and even if we did I wouldn't change my name as it's my name! However I do prefer his surname so gave our DS that name rather than mine. To me it was just about what matched better with our choice of first name rather than any particular significance. Most mums I know at school use their own name rather than their DHs even if they are married, and the kids have either one or both of their names. But this is also an area where kids call parents by their first names and we don't have school uniform so it's not exactly conventional!

@mostimproved where is this unconventional place. Sounds great!

@frankiefumbles oh god yes, he's going on the birth certificate. Potential nightmares there otherwise, as you rightly point out. I'd love for us all to have the same name; I am a bit of a one for faaaaaaaamly and being able to trace your roots back, feel part of something etc. I know this can be done without sharing a name but it's nice. Anyway, I am highly resistant to taking his name - just a personal preference - and it feels a bit contrived for him to either take mine or for us to choose a whole new one for our family. Kids having his surname and me keeping mine seems the most conventional solution - an outsider could still read us as a family.

@mostimproved, my mum kept her maiden name and it was always mildly annoying while I was a kid, in terms of taking us abroad, booking hotels, teachers calling her 'Mrs [my surname]'. But it sounds like it's much more of an expected thing nowadays than it was 20 years ago - I'd certainly never assume that a parent must have the same surname as their children.

@ladycarlotta tbh makes sense - if it's good enough for MumCarlotta then it's good enough for ladycarlotta 😊 we are all so influenced by our family.

Will I turn into my mother when I am a mother?

@#%& !!!!

@TheWanderlust just North London!

@frankiefumbles Christ I hope I don't become mine!! (I totally will)

@mostimproved secretly you actually live in Totnes and knit your own yoghurt ;)

@peonylover22 yep, happened in my last pregnancy and it's happened in the last 2 days. Seems to happen about 13dpo for me. Mine went up 10bpm!

@frankiefumbles I totally did that, sometimes I open my mouth to speak to my ds and I swear my mother's voice comes out of it! My parents are pretty good on the whole though so I don't mind too much.

On the name debate I took dh's name when we married because it's DSS's name, otherwise we wouldn't wanted the same name but probably have amalgamated ours or come up with something new. It's hard to know what to do for the best!

Can someone please return my ability to sleep...? 🤣

Good morrning RachaelT I was debating if 4:30am was to early to post something and here you are . It's Saturday and I am wide awake and contemplating if I should start cleaning. Oh dear haha