July 2018 babies - part 2 :)

[Skyechasemarshalontheway]

Made a new group

@DirtyThirties I told my employers quite early on because I was hiding & working from home a lot due to being so drained. They've been great but I do work for the NHS so they can't exactly be awkward about things!

What is it that makes you nervous? I have 2 managers - my day to day manager I just told him I'd be having 9 months off come July and he was fine, my other manager I've seen once in the last year so I let her know by email.

Yeah I get what you mean about the heartbeat - I suppose it doesn't tell them much but it at least tells us that baby is still tucked up in there!

@Heregoeseverything midwife seems to think I'm anemic because of the headaches and that I'm quite short of breath a lot / palpitations. Leeds haven't sent her my full blood count though rolls eyes so she's had to chase them up to know for certain.

That's interesting @lifechanges, I had assumed they were just one of those things. Actually haven't been as bad since the weekend. I'm glad you're getting proper care and attention.

I had my 16 week appointment yesterday. The midwife (not my usual, assigned midwife) didn't ask me anything about symptoms or how I am. It was a nightmare appointment to be honest. He was incredibly patronising from the start and spoke to me like I was a child, I just wanted to get out of there. But I agree that the heartbeat is reassuring @DirtyThirties , so I asked him if he would use a Doppler on me. He told me he might not find it, I said I understood that it was difficult but I'd rather he tried because I felt I needed reassurance one way or the other - if he tried and found it, I'd have the reassurance to carry me through over the next 4 weeks, if he tried and didn't find it I wouldn't have the reassurance so would need a private scan, if he didn't try I would be in he same position as if he tried and didn't find it as I wouldn't have the reassurance so would need a private scan.

He eventually agreed but told me it was actually a pointless exercise. He said I needed to accept that I had no control over the pregnancy or the fate of the baby, that if he found a heartbeat today that didn't mean the baby wouldn't die tomorrow (super-reassuring...).

He then laughed at my naivety in needing reassurance and told me that when I had more than one child, like he does, I'd be too busy running around after my other children to give what was going on in my womb a second thought in any future pregnancy.

He tried for about 45 seconds, in two positions, before giving up with a condescending smile.

Morning!

I’m not liking these not reassuring stories of midwives not wanting to try and find the heartbeat 😕, I agree @heregoeseverything that’s not nice. Does sound like a good appointment at all.

I sorted our private NIPT blood test, which my friend is getting a colleague to do herself (she’s a nurse) and then she sent it off for the Downs, Edwards, Patau and more results next week. We also find out the sex that way too, which is a bit impersonal finding out over the phone but we didn’t want to do another scan (& pay for another) just the week after the NHS one. The blood test has cost £330!! Just for her to do the blood & them to do the testing!! 🙈🙈

But we’ve started to tell a few more ppl, close friends (we are now 13.5 weeks) so it’s gettibg exciting! And I’ve started researching prams & car seats after being with SIL & asking about her prams & friends with babies & ive been asking what they like & don’t like about them...is that bad??!!

@lifechanges I'm nervous because I haven't worked at the company for long, and it's a very male dominated, and numbers orientated place. They will judge but I'm more nervous of being cornered into committing to something I don't want like coming back too early.

@heregoes that sounds awful, what a horrible patronising man. I haven't particularly "clicked" with my midwife either, she seems very reluctant to give information out. When I called to get the results from my booking in blood tests she just said no you don't need them and I said well I would prefer to have them, she said no we would call you if there was a problem, went back and for for ages until she eventually handed over the results in tiny bite sized pieces as I pushed, very tedious. Must admit, I don't feel in any way "looked after" and quite alone from a medical point of view. It makes me very nervous.

@minster looking at prams is a real guilty pleasure, luckily DP has caught the bug too! Obviously I wouldn't buy anything yet, but we just love pushing them around (then gasping at the price tags ) good luck with your results, should be back quite soon

Hi everyone, can I join? I know I'm very late to the party but I wanted to wait until after the 12 week scan as I didn't quite believe it was real!
I'm 13+5 and due on the 27th July, this is my first baby so it's all very new to me. I've told my line manager who was great but I'm still waiting for a meeting with the head (I'm a teacher). Telling my line manager was a big relief though, i feel like I'm letting the team down a bit so I was very nervous.

I know exactly what you all mean by the need for reassurance, and I think your midwife sounded incredibly rude @heregoes ... patronising and dismissive are not good traits in an HCP. I would love to hear a heart beat because I currently have no bump and have had no real symptoms since finding out I was pregnant other than the tiredness! I mean, my hunger has ramped up hard this week and my Resting HR was measured at 104 yesterday (a uni lesson not appt).. but is that the same as hearing a heartbeat/seeing the screen? I think not !

@winterfell I have a place on an NCT course reserved, just need to pay for it to confirm.. starts in May ends in June.

I haven’t yet told my employer as I am on a long term secondment and need to sort out my ML with them first ha! Layers of complication but sure all will be fine

Anybody else having circular arguments about names with OHs? We have quite different tastes in names so thus far coming up with more than about 5 names for each sex has been protracted, and even then none of them are definite winners!! It’s amazing how many names exist, and how many someone else can dislike to your like

Oh god I’ve not looked at NCT classes, ought to do that, is it all about the birth or stuff for afterwards as well (cos I’m not going to give birth) but would like to meet ppl in my area and get info to help afterwards!

We’ve not physically looked at prams yet other than me spying everyone else’s as my DH will NOT entertain that until we have the blood results back for the Downs/Edwards/Patau thing but I have asked my friends/SIL who know who have babies (which is basically everyone as we are the last ones) which confirms what kind I thought would be good for me/is as very outdoorsy & me walking 2 dogs over fields & a pram!!

Don’t even start me on the name game, it was fun, now not so much, as we know about a million babies, DH is one of 4, all traditional names, with a million dogs /animals & all friends have 1 or 2 babies it’s pretty hard let alone the fact I like slightly more “edgy” names & he likes names like ‘William’ of which there are 3 already in his family 🙈 there’s no hope. There is a girls name we both like so let’s hope it’s a girl!!

I've booked NCT classes. @Minster I'm not sure, this is entirely based on my anecdotal understanding, but I think quite a bit/most is about birth and breastfeeding, there is some on immediately after birth but I gather not a great deal. They do do an "early days" course about newborn care also but this is not as renowned - I think because most people just do the prenatal one and then the people they meet form a support group postnatally.

I'm not looking at prams or anything until after 20 week scan...

I've made a complaint about that midwife. My DH was there and horrified, he said it was as if the midwife was actively trying to unnerve me and/or make me feel small from the outset. I actually think he might be a bit sexist, and thought that the silly pregnant lady needed a man to tell her how to feel. I was going to just ask not to have him again but actually I think I owe a duty to other pregnant women to report him. I'm having a private scan next week for reassurance.

Re names, my DH and I had totally different lists and I was so worried, but then we hit on a residue of names we both like and have negotiated a final name! He's not sure about the middle name (he likes the name, but thinks it's weird as one of my friends has the same name but we wouldn't be naming child after her) but surprisingly caved on the basis that I've suffered enough through this pregnancy to be allowed to choose it!!

Hmmmm, I think I will talk to the NCT ppl as loads of my friends are really good mates with their NCT ppl, like now on second babies they are still close to 2 or 3 of them and I’ve moved House so it would be good to get to know some ppl. Thanks!

I think you did right complaining about that midwife. It’s really scary not knowing about the baby & he was not only rude he was condescending & made u worry more.

Lots of husbands cave on parts of the name & bloody right so! Don’t feel guilty, accept it!! Unfortunately things will get worse for u in the pregnancy so it’s the least he can do! I don’t have that excuse but I will still put my foot down (cos I’m mean!) 😁😁

That midwife sounds like a nightmare @Heregoeseverything I think I'd be tempted to complain! I actually really like my midwife now after some initial reservations.

We have names picked out - we always had a boys name so that hasn't required any thought but a girls name - oh my, it was hard work! We can actually start calling them their name next weekend!

What is everyone hoping for? DH wants a boy and I'm edged towards a boy too but as long as they're healthy then that's all that matters

I haven't looked at NCT groups yet but I definitely should, I've heard they're brilliant for getting to know people who are going through the same things you are at the same time.

I'm still close friends with a couple of the ladies in my NCT group from when I had DD. Would recommend as it gives you someone to chat to at 2am during night feeds who is in the same stage as you. I did meet people through baby groups etc but during those first few weeks it can be hard to make yourself go out. For those who were asking up thread, I can't remember doing anything at all about the bit after the birth although was a lot of holding dolls, which I remember as one of the ladies in the class had a phobia about them!

Another one here who is not making any progress on names. DH has lots of ideas and we have middle names but no agreement on anything else. We probably won't find out if it's a boy or a girl so it doesn't feel too urgent yet, although does sound nice to start calling them by their name.

Lifechanges did your midwife confirm if you were anaemic? I've also noticed a lot of breathlessness so am wondering if this might be me too. I don't have my 16 week check until 17 weeks as my midwife clinic is only fortnightly.

@RaspberryBlonde yes she did, I'm not anaemic but I have come down with the absolute monster of all colds this week so maybe it was a precursor to that?

Had to come home from work early yesterday and called in sick today - absolutely floored and not being able to take anything beside paracetamol is rubbish. We go to Rome in Sunday so I'm just trying to rest as much as possible.

Oh no life changes, hope you are feeling better in time for your trip.

Hope this does not mean the same for me, although DH has woken up complaining of a cold this morning...

Get well soon @lifechanges !! Rome is fantastic.. have you been before? I am jealous!!

Had the most vivid dream last night that I gave birth (brain glossed over those details) and i was breastfeeding my baby. I woke up this morning feeling really odd from the feelings of my dream against actual reality of not having a baby and having no idea what breastfeeding feels like !!

And so on we go with yet another weird bodily reaction to being pregnant

@Heregoeseverything that midwife sounds dreadful, sorry you had that experience I agree that complaining is a good idea - you shouldn't be treated like that.

I spoke far too soon about not throwing up any more - I managed four times before 7:00 on Monday morning... Then had the utter indignity during the week of having to locate the conductor on the train to warn and apologise to him for having puked quite violently, luckily in the loo, but it wouldn't flush! And I chucked up in work the other afternoon too. All in all, pretty vile...

I wasn't showing at all, but over the past 3 days or so I suddenly seem to have a tiny bump. Nothing much - I just feel fat rather than actually pregnant - but it's beginning. I went out this weekend and spent a fortune on a maternity wardrobe, particularly for work. And treated myself to some new Dr Martens which I'm going to have to start wearing around the house constantly so they're broken in I'm wondering how much longer I can keep this baby a secret from the general population - I want to wait out at least one more week, once I (finally!!) see my brothers and am able to tell them, but somehow a week seems like a really long time at the moment...

We've got absolutely nowhere with names. Bought a book, have been flicking through it, found nothing we like enough to actually pick. The one girl's name I've liked since I was a teenager, which is a 'relatively unusual, but common enough that people easily recognise it' kind of name, is the name of my brother's girlfriend, so it looks like that's forever off the table

Hi everyone,

Can i join ? I had my scan last week & they've given me a due date of 31st July. I've currently been on the August thread as I thought I was due beginning of Aug - still could be be i guess but thought I'd better join the July thread.
This will be DC2, i have a DD who is 2.5 will be 3, 2 weeks before new arrival is due.

Anyway hope all you ladies are ok & starting to enjoy the second trimester. I'm finally starting to feel a little more human again. Horaay!

We’ve found quite a few names for both boy and girl we both agree on, but we’re now pretty desperate to find out the sex to stop calling the baby ‘it’ and settle on a name (well, until we meet ‘it’ and decide the chosen name doesn’t suit him/her at all!) Def going to ask at 20 wk scan, just hope everything is ok with the anomoly scan. Been watching some re-runs of One Born Every Minute (why????? ) and there seem to have been a few babies diagnosed with conditions during the scan so worrying more now. REALLY need to stop watching it, it’s terrifying!

Currently 17+4 and I’ve told my boss and his boss but no-one else at work yet. The more senior one asked me not to tell my team yet as we’ve got a lot of change going on at the mo and he thinks it’s too much to take. Told him I’m not going to be able to keep it under wraps for much longer as I’m looking more pregnant by the day, and think I’m going to be away for a work thing week after next (without my team) so if they still don’t want me to say anything in the next couple of days, I’ll be 20 wks and no doubt very obvious before I can actually tell them. Only got a few tops that cover it entirely and really struggling to get things washed in time to rewear. Really need to go shopping but can’t find the time.

Is anyone adding to the facebook group? If so, can someone message me and add me on there please :) Due date is 4th July.

EDD 25/07/18
Also my nephews birthday and he's not too happy about maybe sharing his birthday, oops haha.

Is there a Facebook group as I find I get lost easily on MN. Took me almost a month to realise there was this group as I thought the first thread was very quiet 😂

Oh no karate, sorry to hear sickness is still treating you badly. Fingers crossed it is nearly finished . I can't recall your due date from earlier in the thread but you must be into second trimester now?

DebieS DH is hoping for the baby to share his birthday which is not long after my due date. There's not a bad chance as I went overdue on my first pregnancy but agree with your nephew it's nicer to have your own special day. I also have MIL's birthday in early July to dodge!

My least favourite pregnancy symptom has shown up - leg cramps.

@RaspberryBlonde leg cramps and restless legs over here plus morning sickness. Last pregnancy they started in last trimester but this time it's been since 10weeks.

Hello! May I join? My due date is officially the 1st of August but as I’m expecting twins they’ll arrive no later than mid July! Any other ladies expecting multiples in here?

I’d like to join too! Expecting number 2 15/07/18! Very excited 😆

Hows everyone feeling? My sickness has returned at 18 weeks