Due in June - am I unreasonable to expect the nanny to give birth for me?

[hollyandalice]

Chicks???

bumper...((((hugs)))) to you too this morning. Men just don't get it....get the books out and shove them under nose open at the chapter about nesting and how its an animal instinct that you have no control over. Could he help you clear out the room and then the stuff could at least be stored...he can then out up the crib etc when you are actually in the hospital... Is he a bit supersticious (sp?) about things....I know some people think its bad karma to have it all organised!! but, men being men, they don't often like to talk about how they feel, do they?

Try not to upset yourself too much sweetie (((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))

Thanks Daisy, I think it is superstition, although it's weird because we are both usually v pragmatic people. I just think it is irrational and making life more difficult for me! But we made a pact that he would sort out the spare room in PLENTY of time if I stop giving him a hard time over the cot etc. Everything just seems so much harder to cope with when you haven't slept!

Poor you anyway daisy with DS frightening you last night, no wonder you didn't sleep either! Hoep you have a nice restful day.

Oh bumper, you poor thing. I'd be pissed off as well about not feeling ready, you could have the baby in a month, not likely, but it could happen. Some people are funny about having new baby stuff in the house though, they think it's bad luck. Maybe you could compromise and only have the moses basket at home for now and move the rest in later, maybe when you get to 37 weeks or so. Hope you get it sorted!

I'm feeling downright pissed off and miserable. I haven't spoken to dp at all, last night or this morning and he doesn't seem to care. I went to bed without speaking to him and I'm still upstairs now and he hasn't come up to see me. I ended up sleeping on dd's floor, so I've had a pretty shit night! Maybe I'll just stay in bed all day!

Thanks for the message this morning foxy, you are great, and thanks for listening to me last night! Have a great time away, hope you come back refreshed and relaxed!

Have a great day in the sun everyone x

Sorry x posted there. Am typing with one hand as am lying on my side in bed, so it's pretty slow!!

Daisy mystic red ranger is a very naughty boy! You must have been so worried you poor thing!

Big hugs to everyone who's stressing today!! I'm unusually calm for once so I'll see if I can share out good vibes with those who are having a crappy time.

Saying that, MIL and FIL are 'popping in' later on so I may be in need of some ranting this evening - They're really, really lovely but I'm not taking kindly to unsolicited baby advice at the minute and I worry that they may want to give me some!! (That sounds ridiculous now i've said it out loud!! )

Anyway, off to tidy up..... Enjoy your day ladies!

Just a bit Holly.....I haven't moved so quickly since before I was PG, if ever....DH now thinks all my "oofing" is just for effect...he's seen me move like lightning once, I can do it again .

But, I think DS got the message that maybe it wasn't the best practical joke in the world...he was really upset, blesss him. Had to convince him that I wasn't angry, just very scared and that I was crying cos I was relieved....and hopefully he'll stay off the window cill from now on...been telling him all week that it's dangerous...

How is the 'zoo' this morning....peaceful?

Hi everyone and comfirtng hugs to all those who need them.

No doubt foxy is now wrapped in a fluffy white bathrobe being pampered .

Holly, I'm sorry I wasn't around to sympathise last night - I hope you have a better day today. For the summer could you make them sleep in a tent in the garden in their own sleeping bags?
I can't give any advice (wanted or not) because we are lucky in that we never really see any of DH family as none of them (not even the outlaws) can be arsed to visit us more than once a year when they fancy a trip to the beach and then they only call in for 10 minutes out of guilt. Plus the kids are older so have more of a rough idea of respect (but it was a lot harder when I and they were younger and the ex is and always will be a cow). As you can tell all communication between the kids and DH seems to have stopped again[sad for him but relief for me as don't have to clean up for them and find somewhere for them to sleep smiley]. What a load of sanctamonious rubbish (sp?) - what I'm trying to say is hang on in there and keep smiling.

We had a five hour power cut last night - hence long post. You would think that DH would be unable to work in the dark wouldn't you? Wrong!

Hey catkin, thanks for the ear last night!! Hope your day with the il's goes ok.

Bless him daisy, he must have been frightened too! At least you know he won't do it again!

Hi ria! The tent idea sounds like an extremely cunning one!

There was a post earlier about TENS (sorry, can't remember who). I used one with DS1 and didn't get any relief at all.
We have since bought one for DH shoulder injury and I used it almost constantly for my sciatica last year so will probably try it again this time (I want a water birth but am not limiting myself to gas&air after DS2 - bring on the drugs trolley!) But don't midwives and/or hospitals lend you them? I think you can hire them from physio departments too.

Names are a nightmare, we haven't consulted a book this time. I've looked on a site on the net a couple of times because I'm quite into meanings as well as the niceness of the name. I like Silas for a boy but am scared as it's a bit unusual. I was really into Nina (it means little girl) but then that silly programme started on cbeebies and
that put me off. DH has chosen his girls name but I think he might be wrong. I think we need to strike a deal..., but then DS1 was to be Wesley until he was born, and I had it in my mind that DS2 would be Declan, so much so that I was really confused by the baby in the bed opposite being called Declan and DS2 was not IYSWIM.

A tent will be the only place we have for DHs son to sleep from this year. Plus the added bonus for you re sleeping bags is that if they have their own they can take them home and their mum can deal with the washing. (Think of it as an investment for sanity if you have to buy them). You could get a BBQ and they could cook their meat in the garden too, or am I going too far now?

Why do boys insist on calling each other gay? That really bugs me. DS1 has had issues with it since being about 6 (he does now know what it means and I would like to think he wouldn't say it to anyone, but you just don't know what they do at school do you?) I worry about children who can't be bothered to think up original insults!

catkin - that doesn't sound stupid at all. If one more person refers to my lack of sleep as my body's way of preparing me for when the baby comes they are going to need to be prepared for a smack in the mouth! And why does everyone feel the need to piss on your firework when you talk about all the lovely baby stuff like going to the park in the sun etc.- "you'll be too tired" "you won't have time to be reading magazines" "we'll see what you are like in a couple of months time..." Doesn't help make you feel better does it!

Btw I think a tent is a great idea! Also, if they are on blow up beds like you said last night they aren't going to be able to wet are they? I can't believe these boys are bloody teenagers. Step families or families where people are separated are so hard, I've always been part of one in some form or another as my parents separated when I was about 2, and didn't meet my dad properly until I was 11 or so, had 2 step dads, and 4 half bro's/sisters, it's really difficult, and I don't envy you. You must just want your family to be DP first and only family. DP should be more sympathetic to you though, you are 25 and pg and have a toddler! I bet he just feels like he can't do right either way though, but if he doen't just want to be a 'weekend dad' he'll have to stop acting like one, letting them get away with murder. Sorry I can't come up with anything more constructive!

Where's Lilkel....she's doesn''t seem to have been around for ages....is she off jetsetting again?????

Names...aargh. DH and I just can't agree....I've got my heart set on Maisie (DS is Cameron so it would carry on the Scottish theme and remind them both of their roots!!), but he's dead against it. We both like Emily...but I would want to call her Millie, which he's not too keen on. Also, DS has two middle names and we're debating whether this LO need two as well....and on and on it goes.

The only thing we are agreed on is if the sonographer got it wrong and its a boy....he'll be Thomas Fraser....

Someone asked yesterday if Fraser is Scottish....it is indeed and was my mum's maiden name.

Also love Rowan, but again DH not keen.....DS thinks Z (after yellow SPD ranger, pronounced Zee) is "way cool" but, erm,....don't think so!!

I'm back to continue my sermon (tell me to feck off if you want). Your DH should maybe convince the eldest to get a summer job then he might appreciate £90 trainers more if he has to earn the money to buy them. (In theory!)
My DH had a job set up for his boy last summer working with him (sleeping in the tent in our garen of course!) because he needed £200 to go on a trip with his church group (we definately can't be giving that sort of money as a hand out), but DHs parents and the ex all interfered and my BIL supposedly got him a better job so he didn't come. Don't know if he got the money or not as he only worked a couple of days. That was irrelevant, sorry.
Don't know if this is relevant either but my DH has always felt he can't discipline his kids as he isn't with them enough for his input to have an effect (but he sees them for a couple of hours a few times a year, he has never had them on a regular basis.)
Sermon over, I will mind my own business now (unless I come up with a magic solution of course).

I'm bored of being upstairs now, but can't face going down. Maybe I'll have a bath and have breakfast in there too, then do some upstairs chores. Dp can fuck right of if he thinks I'm cooking them lunch or tea, I'm doing naff all from now on that involves the boys, they clearly don't appreciate it, so why should I bother?

Bumper it must be hard for the boys to only see their dad so infrequently, I do feel for them, but they need to understand that I'm not going anywhere, so they'll have to get used to it! I always feel like I would love it to just be me and dp with our children, but I got myself into this situation, so I'll just have to wait a few years til they don't come any more.

I love maisie daisy!! Hehe I'm a poet and I didn't even know it! I think lilkel is in germany visiting inlaws, she should be back any day I think.

I think dp does feel that way too ria. The boys haven't grown up with him for about 10 years, so he has had very little influence over them. They don't behave how they would if he had had more input, but I think he is just pleased that he gets to see them.

What are Sundays for exactly?
I'm bored.

Holly and Ria...it must be a very difficult situation you're both in.....and wish I could offer some advice. My brother has two stepsons, who, although he gets on with them well, can be a bit odd when coming to family parties etc....at Christmas they always bring their PS whatever and disappear upstairs, only to come and join the family when there is food...but I think that might just be teenage boys for you. They're both really nice lads though and dote on my neice who is their half-sister

I can't keep away this morning! Thank the powers that be for virtual friends (I don't do people in RL.)

I'm fairly sure my DH begged me to find him a new job last night. Will check!

This is a very weak attempt to inject some humour to our bloody Sunday:-
I read a novel about a woman who was PG the other week and her MIL recommended brushing her nipples with an old toothbrush to prepare for BF. Any thoughts? (Well, you know how these things go off at a tangent and how silly we can be at times). Might be just what we all need, though I have to go get the boys ready for lunch with granny really...

Ria...aren't Sundays for cleaning in the morning, then watching old films on tv followed by a late roast dinner....or alternatively arsing about on the computer....

We're (well DH) is doing chores like cleaning out the fish and the gerbils...DH is amusing himslef wiht multi-coloured highlighter paens and some old junk-mail and I'm trying to avoid the pile of ironing which is crying out to me on the grounds that my legs stillache from my shopping and gardening...

Ow ow ow ow ow....some of these old wives tales are brutal....don't listen to any of it first-timers.....

Just read my other post....I mean DS is amusing himself with the highlighter pens.....DH prefers altogether more sophisticated leisure pursuits.....like burning things in the garden...

I just sorted out my shoes! That was a task and a half!

It's all fun and games here! I just went to check the boys' beds and BOTH of them are wet! I was so mad I was shaking. I made dp sort it out, but ffs this is getting stupid! I mean who pisses in the bed and just leaves it? Tramps, that's who. My dd would wet the bed if I didn't put a nappy on her, therefore I put a nappy on her! Simple! I've been told through the mother telling dp that I'm not to make a big deal of the bed wetting and not to mention nappies again. Well I'm sorry, but the child is nearly 12 and he comes to my house every fortnight and befouls it. She may put up with it, but I won't. If the 13 year old is going to wet the bed now as well then they can all just fuck off and not come. I'm not having it it's disgusting!

Right there's my rant over with! Love to you all xx

I'm so boring, like a broken record!!

Aw Holly......wish there was something I could do.....even if they stripped the beds in the morning it wouldn't seem half as bad....
good on you for the shoes though...I've been sat with my feet up watching the Marathon having my once a year...ooooh must get fit guilt trip...Ah well there's always next year, then all you London ladies can come and cheer me along!!!

anyway off to gather some plants for the garden from a friend who is turning his whole garden over to veggies.....will save us a fortune at the garden centre.

My, its quiet here today, anyone would think there was noce weather about...its been cold mizzy and rainy here all morning

Holly, If this woman expects you to put up with her sons and their behaviour then she has no right to lecture you (even through your DP) about what you can and cannot say to them. They are too old to be regularly wetting the bed without anything being said or done about it and she is talking bollocks to suggest otherwise. I can only admire what must be incredible restraint on your part. I would've murdered the little bastards before now!!

If they haven't even had the decency to clean up after themselves then I would refuse to have them in my house. I know that would make things hard for your DP but he has to see that this situation can't continue?

Tell me to feck off and mind my own if you like. I'm just outraged on your behalf.