Biscuits, official scans & the end of the trimester - Later November due dates this way...

[AGnu]

Thread #2, because apparently our "quiet" thread is rather busy!

If you're new, do add yourself to the list so we can all see where we're at!

Help yourself to a , here's to another month of chatting!

Teaandpjs good luck for your next scan. I think you should still stick around the November gang :)

Just catching up, I had my midwife appt yesterday and she is so lovely! My new "little" nephew Rex was born this week at 10lbs by CS after my poor SIL had been in labour 77 hours! Horrifying lol. I'm so proud of her and so happy for my brother, and the midwife I saw had heard about his arrival and said she will try and get her for follow up checks so she sees more of the family! She is a really lovely midwife, did all my bloods etc at home so I feel really relaxed and happy and she was round for a good 2 hours just being really thorough and putting my mind at ease after the MCs. She's already booked me in for my 16 week appt at the end of May! It seems too soon to be at that point?!
Hope everyone is starting to feel better as we crawl to the end of the first trimester!

Natalie I'm getting a private scan as part of the NIFT I've chosen to have. It's actually after my 12 week scan (which is at 11+4).

I don't think that there's any need to have one but as many have said, when people start to guess you want that reassurance before revealing the truth!

Natalie mine was due to previous miscarriages both at 10 ish weeks. I just wanted reassurance all was ok really. Cost a bomb but it was amazing. X

hazand I was hoping to as long as everyone didn't mind :) I don't want to move to a new group when I have you lovely lot here :)

natalie no private scans here, I was suppose to get 1 as an early reassurance scan but wasn't as far ahead as they thought so gave me a 2nd 1 which has confirmed I'm 2-3 weeks behind but was HB and everything looked ok so giving me a 3rd 1 this week just for my peace of mind as i really cant be as far behind as they say!!

Stuckinny Slightly off-topic but can I ask for a favour...? A friend of mine is in hospital in California and may end up giving birth a few weeks early. She sent me some amazing gifts for my preemie a couple of years ago and wanted to return the favour. Do you know of any good US based online retailers where I can order premature baby clothes and gifts to be delivered to her? Thanks!

Natalie it often isn't, I think a lot of people come to mumsnet to speak to other women who've had similar experiences because these are sensitive topics that you wouldn't necessarily talk about in real life that often. On a forum of women who have also had difficulties before it can be a big comfort, so I think sites like this can draw a lot of likeminded people together, which probably doesn't fairly represent what is "normal." I wish you a completely uncomplicated, healthy, happy pregnancy :) One thing I've learnt is to just enjoy each day I am pregnant, or at least tell myself to enjoy it even if I'm feeling stressed or anxious!

My bloody sister got drunk tonight and outright asked me if I was pregnant then said no don't tell me, I know any way! I love her but we were out with a big group and I've gone home early (not unusual for me as I don't drink) but I am worried she will get drunk(er) and tell my friends when I really don't want it public. She's a flipping liability lol. What is it about younger siblings being like that haha?!

natalie if all is going well and you're keeping well then there isn't any need, and as hazand said groups like these bring people together!

Me and a friend were talking the other day and her words rang so true, she recently had a MC and said up till then she didn't realise the difficult side to pregnancy, she knew people could take a while to fall preg but once you were preg you were preg and that's it, it got me thinking and realised how many people think this and how our opinion doesn't change of that till we suffer a loss/trouble along the way! Oh to be as simple as that and have all the worry taken away for us all!

Exactly teaandpjs I was the same as your friend until MC, until you have one you don't realise 1) how common it is and 2) what a scary, uncertain time pregnancy is. Nothing is guaranteed and it kind of tarnishes pregnancy for you sadly after that. I wish I'd never known the dark side of pregnancy, it kind of takes away that innocent magic! But each pregnancy is different and new so I guess I just have to embrace each one as a new opportunity. X

My aunt has a stillborn daughter at 26 weeks when I was a teenager, that taught me early that pregnancy doesn't mean baby. That along with some of my friend's mums having had up to 10 miscarriages and another friend losing a baby at 38 2 weeks gave me a very realistic/pessimistic view of possible outcomes. I was berated by more than one person when pregnant with my ds for not being "excited", I thought those people clearly had had only positive experiences or were quite naive (it was always grown women and/or mothers that were so horrible). As it happened I was right to be so cautious as it all got a bit serious for me at 36 weeks but luckily we were both fine.

However one of the main reasons I have gotten early private scans is because I book work 6-12 months in advance so need to know asap if there is indeed a heartbeat to plan for.

foggy I'm getting that from a friend at the mo and it's so annoying, she's had 2 perfect pregnancies, I've had 3 MC and a chemical and she was asking how I was feeling etc, said I was just blocking it all out till next scan son I didn't worry, got told I'm so negative and I really need to be more positive! I kinda d's laughed and said I'd be more positive (even tho I wasn't being negative as such) once I had good reason to

Same here on not really getting excited about pregnancy. It all went horribly wrong for me and DD at 33 weeks so until this one is born and safely tucked up next to me, I'm going to be anxious.

However, I think that the nature of parenting is to be constantly anxious about your offspring! The world is a dangerous place!

Also struggling to be excited at this point (and I think that's a big part of why I don't want to tell anyone - they'd be excited and I'd feel awful that I didn't feel the same). It's reassuring to know that others feel the same. I didn't worry like this at all in my first pregnancy! But I've spent the past four years working with families with children with conditions diagnosed antenatally or soon after birth - I think part of me struggles to believe that it can all be OK. (although that sounds so negative and I have to remind myself that all those families can and do cope, their children are amazing and much loved).

All that said, I haven't booked a private scan and am just waiting for the NHS one at 13 weeks. I did have one at 7 weeks tho, due to bleeding. All was fine so it was reassuring.

Totally agree, it is generally people who had only positive experiences that are quite ignorant of how you may be feeling. As if being "positive" will somehow save you from a miscarriage! You know they mean well but still, I only stay pessimistic as a self preservation thing, if I let myself get too happy and excited it could just be taken away again.

I agree guys. Have been lucky enough (touching every wood possible) not to experience first hand but have plenty of friends and family who have suffered real tragedy. Every baby born is a real miracle and a blessing, and if you've had hard times to date then you're well within your rights to proceed with caution. Big hugs xx

Thanks Lydia it is really difficult at times, I'm sorry you have people close to you who have suffered. My best friend's mum had a stillborn before she had my friend as she had a blood disease, but I never really understood when we were kids the enormity of it, apart from the fact they talked about her a lot and we all went to visit her grave. When I miscarried I couldn't believe my friend's parents made me and my OH (he is close to them too) come round for dinner and talk to them about what had happened and told us never to give up. After they'd been through something so traumatic and so much worse I thought it was so selfless to then want to help us. Some people just have amazing strength. Xx

Thank you for all your lovely messages. Yesterday was a tough day for us all, ds2 struggled a bit with it but we spent the day as a family and got through it together.
We talk about him every day so he isn't a taboo, we have his foot prints and handprints on display proudly at home too.

Anyway pregnancy symptoms all dying off here - I'm somewhere between 10-11 weeks. On 2 types of insulin already and struggling to get levels right still.
Otherwise I am finding it hard to ever visualise having a baby to come home with.
Almost just waiting til 24 weeks to believe it.
Our waters broke at 15 weeks last time just randomly after early bleeding in pregnancy and then we had so many issues until he was born at 22 weeks.

Think we have a fetal medicine scan at 16 weeks as well as the 12 week one on the 11th. Hopefully we will find out the sex.
One of the hardest things with ds4 was once our waters broke, they couldn't tell us if it was a boy or a girl, so we couldn't personify our baby and we knew it was likely they wouldn't survive. We found out he was a boy when he was still born and that broke my heart.
This time I would like to know as soon as I can, just in case.

Zampa, I don't but let me ask around and I'll get back to you. We're telling siblings etc today so will ask DP's SIL, I'm sure she will know. In all honesty though, the quality of baby clothes is far better in the U.K. than here. You really can't beat mothercare or boots for softness. I haven't found anything close here (I'll be ordering stuff and shipping it here). All DS baby clothes were bought in the U.K. I'm sure this baby will be similar.

Thanks Stuck. I've ordered some NHS approved Cuski Miniboos to send over to her (highly recommend for all new babies) and may pop into Asda for some clothes. Discovered their fabulous tiny baby range when DD arrived.

I looked after my friends 5 week old baby for an hour at my house early. My cats looked horrified! They have never seen a baby before. I'm torn between, "suck it up kitties" and "how can I do this too them, they won't feel loved anymore."

I've decided it's time to go to the docs. My migraines are coming in at two a week now and I'm struggling to cope.

I used to take Tomapriatraat (sp?) as a preventative and Sumatriptan when one hit but now I have lousy paracetamol. I was just in tears because of the pain but crying made it worse. Now have an ice pack on my head and hiding upstairs whilst DH noisily makes dinner.

The realisation has by that whilst the nausea etc may be fading as I come to the end of my first trimester, the migraines are likely here to stay. I really suck at being pregnant.

ginger have you tried this?

hazand That was a lively thing for them to do :)

Hiya November Mamas

Just joining in. Looking forward to being able to chat about the highs and lows and maddening times with you all. I'm 11 weeks today first scan booked for 10 days time, so excited!

Not yet Tea but I definately will do!