May 2017 #12

[savagehk]

Hi all! No imagination for a name but it was getting tight!

badger it's been really sunny up here and my dd made two cakes, so can't complain. Looking forward to not being pregnant this time next year - my treat glass of strawberry wine caused almost instant heartburn and was so not worth it!

No more delays, bag packing will be done this weekend. SIL bought me a bundle of toiletries and I'm hitting primark for the hospital wear, so just got to pull baby stuff out of the various boxes and we're done. Then I need to remember where I've stashed it...

2.30am and woken up with searing lower back BH 😩

Hurrah! Slept through until 5.30am total result!! Feel for you Rasperry, a second-in-a-week 2.30am wake up for me yesterday and maybe 45 minutes sleep before the alarm made for a rather teary me. My lovely colleagues had decided before I arrived that I should go home early which is exactly the plan that I'd bribed myself with to get to work in the first place but arrived and realised I had an end of the day meeting but day turned out really productive. I only have 4 more working days to go next week too whoop whoop peas!!

Gorgeous tiny clothes drying/ furbaby and garden pictures ladies. Dying to join in the nesting.

Autumn high five for getting what you need now. Red so sorry to hear you're still not well enough to return to work. MrsJW thanks you've reminded me I need to call about possible water infection test results, no symptoms whatsoever so busy massively self soothing that nothing could possibly be wrong, similar mental attitude I'm cultivating for birth

Raspberry I hope you got back to sleep ok- you have my sympathies! I actually cried myself to sleep last night after a day of excruciating muscular pain (side, back, ribs) and night after night of shit sleep. Plus all my clients are getting stressed that I'm either finishing with them imminently, or not answering straight away because I'm shatttered.
Close to telling them all to get lost. Ungrateful bastards. I could be on Mat leave now as It's my choice when to finish and stop helping, but that seems to go over their heads totally.

All you Mat leave ladies, put your feet up on the garden for us today!!

Sorry that turned into a sweary work rant
Bodes so well for my temperament today!

Thanks for the words of reassurance on the half finished house everyone. I officially no longer give a toss- like you say, the baby won't give a toss either.

Autumn and wish good luck on the BP, hope it behaves.

This third trimester lark is a proper slog!!
On the upside if the baby hasn't tried to escape by tomorrow, I'm going to wash the small batch of clothing we have and hang it the line, and maybe debox the pram out in the garden. I need a treat! Guess I should order the cot and car seat too...

Sipper my family are all in south Essex (I grew up mid)- best weather in the country! I'm going to stay with my sister for a few days after Easter whilst we do work here so will get my beach walk in hopefully if I can still walk by then.

Good luck to everyone dealing with unwanted infections, afflictions, and all the other 3rd trimester pleasantries. A tough guy uber driver said yesterday that after his wife had children he realised how women are so much stronger and tougher than men. Could have high fived him if it wouldn't have hurt so much to lean forward!

shini I have been feeling the same - lots of uncomfortable pressure low down - takes my breath away at times! And pressure on my bladder too. At last midwife appt she said baby was 2/5 engaged and that the pressure was normal for this. I'm 36w Sunday. I do have a feeling she may be earlier rather than later, but we will see!

raspberry hope you managed to get comfortable & get some more sleep.

mighty yes, very lucky with the weather! Enjoy your stay in Essex!

Hope you are feeling ok autumn & your BP is settling down.

That's a good attitude dreams! It's sad when 5.30 counts as a good night.

I can see why you don't fancy a c section with a 15 month old Wish. And why you want a double. The donkey is a lovely pram.

Sorry about the back pain raspberry. Nap for you today.

A rare day off for me today! No work and DD at nursery. Plus she's still asleep so counting this as a lie in!! I have grand plans to finish packing my hospital bag and start batch cooking. In reality, may have a snooze and catch up on some telly.

Some lovely gardens on this thread. We are currently having ours done and I can't wait for it to be done. We are cheating and have gone for a fake lawn. Which is no thing of beauty but so so practical with a toddler.

Esmesbees - we got fake grass for our back garden after completing our extension and it was the best thing we did. Neither dh or I are particularly green-fingered and it means dd can play outside in any weather without dragging in dirt, mud etc inside.

Feeling a bit anxious all of a sudden as I realise baby should arrive in 6 weeks time. Still not at prepared or ready so hoping I will get things sorted.

Esme - I am jealous of your fake lawn... !
We moved in November when we found out we were expecting and were waiting for the landlord to tidy garden as promised, but 2 weeks ago DH got so frustrated he mowed it himself and the ground is in awful bumpy condition. You can't walk down it without falling into a pothole. I'm massively disappointed as the gardens quite big too! DDs toys currently have to stay on the patio.
Enjoy your day with little one at nursery!
DD woke up here last night x4... DH has just sent me back to bed. he reckons I should stay here til 9.30, (and sleep) however it won't even cross his mind to bring me a cuppa!

Probably not the best idea to watch OBEM when feeling anxious and emotional but am a glutton for punishment plus not quite ready to boot up laptop to start work, as I need to do my mid-year comments for performance meeting on Monday. Still find it funny that I'm going to judged by my peers based on the 3 months I've been in this year but there we go.

I mean 'judged against my peers' although I suspect that some may feel it unfair if I got the same performance rating when I've only worked for 3 months of the year.

peas I'm expecting number 2 and I don't have a buggy at all!

Dying to wash the baby clothes but still haven't had time to get them out of the attic! Plus got people staying at the weekend so better wait until after that so I've somewhere to put them.

@jennymac31 it's a weird feeling, we recently went through our objectives for the year and mine are 80% empty. In reality you shouldn't be judged against you peers, like you say 3 months work vs 12. You should be given the rating for "you've done your job as expected" because you aren't there. They can't mark you up or down when you're not there to influence it...iyswim

Am I the only one who finds it hard to stand up for any length of time? I have to sit on a bar stools to make dinner, just feel exhausted standing for more than 5 minutes

@vanilla8 thanks for the rustolleum suggestion will have a look for it.

jenny that sounds stressy, hope it goes ok.

rise standing is hard! Have been sitting down to do everything, ironing, food prep! The bump is seriously getting in the way now.

shini also feeling things are moving a bit. On the plus side my breathing feels tons better but downsides are pressure elsewhere!

Bit of an non-pregnancy related question...

One of my DH's friends wife is unfortunately terminally ill and only has a few days left. My DH's friend said that his wife wanted to see her friends and sent out some visiting times. She is the one of DH's friends who I liked the most but we weren't close and never spent one on one time with her and I don't even have her mobile number etc. My DH text his friend to say we'd go to visit tonight (I was thinking of going more as support for DH rather than anything else) and his friend sent an odd reply - something along the lines of that I shouldn't feel like I had to go as I'm due next month. But if I did go he wouldn't have an "issue" with it. The way the message was worded made me wonder if he was trying to say I shouldn't come, without explicitly saying it...

I'm aware his friend and his wife both wanted a family and if she hadn't become ill they'd probably have been hoping to be pregnant or have had kids by now.

I now don't know whether to go or not - I don't want to almost rub it in their face that we're doing what they wanted to do, but will never be able to do. Also, I'm aware we aren't that close and she won't have much energy and may want to save it for her really close friends. But then I don't want her to think I don't care.

What do I do?

Barnes, tough one. Sounds like your DH should go but you shouldn't based on what you've said, but it's easy here to put your foot in it whatever you do.

Lovely sunny day here in London where I am!
I am thinking I will get a pedicure this morning. I had one 5 weeks ago and my toes still look lovely but my skin is so dry despite using cream after baths/showers. I also cant reach that well anymore so thought I'd treat myself.

Last night DH suggested we make up the bed in our back spare bedroom very out of character for him! I got the cleaner to clean it a few weeks ago and I washed the sheets and I had just left the mattress bare and have been airing it out.
Makes me feel like someone is coming to stay this weekend!!
A few weeks ago one of his friends said something about a baby shower and I could tell he fucked him as he back tracked and said he thought his partner had mentioned I was having one but maybe it was someone else. Thinking maybe one is on the horizon possibly this weekend.....my bestfriend lives up in Scotland so maybe she is coming and staying the weekend? I feel like I am a detective! He also has been very secret with his mobile this past week.

Have attached a photo of my garden too taken in a way that you cant see all the weeds and dead flower pots. We usually ignore it all winter and sort it out at Easter or May bank holiday.

*fucked up not fucked him!!! Auto correct fail

Rise yes standing is difficult and has been since 24 weeks I think. Food prep is getting really challenging now, as I'm doing everything with my arms stretched out in front of me, pulling me out of balance and straining my back.
@Barnes79 don't look too far in his reply. I think you've felt quite well that it's mostly your DH they want there even if they like you as well and they're trying to be considerate saying if you don't feel up to it you need to feel obliged. Your DH could pass on your wishes and they'll ask him about you if they want to. Now rest up and enjoy your mat leave xxx

Barnes is she is a hospice or in hospital? Could you go but sit in the cafe whilst DH visits and can assess things further? Harder if she's at home. Do you feel up to it? Emotionally I mean. Terribly sad.

MissMoo that sounds potentially exciting!

MissMoo that does sound exciting!

I think Tea's suggestion makes sense Barnes - if you can, get DH to assess first. Maybe they just don't want too many people around.

Jenny, Rise I'm not even sure that I get to set any objectives this year. We are meant to do ours by the end of the month but doesn't seem much point for me. But we usually do our performance reviews at the end of Feb, so I'm not quite sure what I'll be graded on this year - not much I assume, which I guess means not much of a bonus for me, which is frustrating.

Barnes I agree with rustler I think they are saying please don't feel obliged.
It sounds like a very hard situation all round.

@Barnes79 a few years ago my friend passed away and we were the nursing team involved with her care at the end. I wanted to see her; we were best friends through high school, went on holiday with her parents as teenagers, sleepovers... all that stuff. She wanted to see me, but her Mum didn't. Her Mum didn't refuse, she just explained it would be hard to see me because I was healthy, married, working... & her daughter was dying. I was sad, but I totally understood her situation. I wrote my friend a letter which I think her Dad read to her, and I went to the funeral.

I'm sorry for the horrible comparison, end of life care is so difficult because of the emotions involved. I would send DH with some flowers, or maybe a personalised card from yourself... if they ask where you are, use the "baby-get-out" card and if you feel up to visiting, visit the next day or later on in the day with the DH. Remember your emotions are running high too, and seeing someone at that stage in life can be very hard, even if you think you're okay with it. I ALWAYS cry after caring for dying patients, and I've done it for years.

End of life/palliative care is my "baby" at work, and it's so emotionally hard on everyone. I always remind families and friends that you don't have to do ~what's right, you just have to do what's best for the patient and their loved ones.

Morning everyone, you will have to let us know @MissMooMoo if you have a baby shower!!!

@Rustler74 I struggle with food prep as well, I just get tired. Last night I made gammon, egg and veggies and it was great so I really ought to make the effort when I can!

@WishIWasSleeping Our friend has a double pram that has a carrycot; if I see her again I'll ask her the brand. The toddler is now walking, so thy have baby in the carrycot and the other buggy has been taken off and replaced with a basket which is part of the buggy as well. I wish I could describe it better.

I actually SLEPT last night, from 1am until just after 9am. I feel good! Today is sorting out junk and stuff for car boot on Sunday; says weather here is going to be in the 20s, and our garage is full of stuff that we have never sorted when we moved. I bloody hate selling at car boots so DH has given me a free pass to sleep in the car while he does the work. 

Two baby questions;

1. Is a sleepyhead or it's cheaper alternatives worth it?
2. What is the deal with Ewan the Dream Sheep and should I be buying this?

A friend of mine has packed Ewan to go to the hospital with them, while I am little worried over Bub relying on a toy to get him settled and to sleep.

Also started listening to the Giovanni Fletcher Happy Mum Happy Baby book last night; the first chapter is about her suffering an early miscarriage and I just sobbed. I had 2 MCs before Bub here and I haven't really thought about it recently. I suddenly felt exceptionally blessed and grateful for being able to carry a baby, a healthy wiggly baby.

it's my MILs birthday so I sent her this as I'm a mental person. She loved it.

There seems to be so many gadgets designed to replace the sensation of being held. I'd rather just hold the baby. Might be easier said with a toddler in toe though!