#TTC1 - Second Wave grads thread the Second!

[kavanaughkj]

Hello all! Welcome to the second thread for the 'new wave' of grads from #TTC1 - the first wave ladies seem to have decamped en masse to Facebook now (I heard weaning mentioned last time I ventured onto it) so this is now officially the place to be!

We're pretty spread out over the pregnancy journey so far with some newbies and some about to pop I'll try to maintain a list so if anybody wants to leave details of due dates and whether you're Team Blue, Pink or Vanilla (I think we're pretty heavily skewed towards Pink at the moment) then leave your details and I'll amalgamate them!

As Moose mentioned in our last thread, please do feel free to join in if this is your first time walking this weird and wonderful path - there is no such thing as TMI and we're all learning off each other!

Also, I'll ask the midwives at appointment but does anyone know if any antihistamines are ok in pregnancy? Just my hayfever gets killer in July/august usually and I dope myself up on a lot more than the normal dose to feel normal alongside the eye drops as well. But thinking od'ing on antihistamines won't be recommended but maybe some are aloud at the Normal doses?

Great scan Tonks we had the same, went in for the scan at 13+4 and were told that baby was measuring 14+3. Measurements on the 20 week scan were pretty average so I'm not sure if she really is a week ahead or just a big baby for her age if that makes sense? The due date they've given us doesn't mesh with conception dates at all!

Tonks it's amazing how much you can see already isn't it? Such a great feeling. I'm sure the results are ok, just baby's further along than originally thought like you said.

Glittery I don't have hayfever but bought some tablets for my DH yesterday. Chemist didn't question it and I look quite obviously pregnant now so I'm guessing that means it's ok? Probably best to check with midwife though!

Beautiful scan tonks made me all nostalgic!

glittery I'm fairly certain antihistamines are ok but I would clarify with your MW.

fishy honestly, the post birth/new baby rage is something I've never felt before! I love the bones of that man but at that point I'd have cheerfully murdered him! It's normal lol and it does improve with time! It's the times when you've had a fussy baby all day, not managed to get anything done, have been eagerly waiting for them to walk through the door so you can have a bit of relief and they go "have you not done the washing? I'm going to the gym now" and you think "just kill him, it's easier" and you mean it lol.

Amazing scan picture Tonks. You must be so happy 😊

And lovely to hear you're home marmite. I hope things begin to feel a bit easier soon.

Just dropping in quickly to say we've had the Harmony results & baby is fine. So relieved! ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

Star so happy to hear your news! I had been wondering how you were getting on :)

Lovely scan pic tonks!

Starmist that's amazing news. Yay.

Congratulations Star, that must be such a relief!!

Fantastic news starmist you must be so relieved!

music we hav named her but prefer not to share on MN as it might be a bit outing so it's E or baby Marmite!
In terms of the hypnobirthing stuff and JuJu Sundin Birth Skills there were parts of both I found invaluable. Hypnobirthing/yoga breathing really helped me through contractions and because I had practiced this so much it came really naturally. It also helped stop me completely freaking out when it all got a bit mad with the decision to transfer to theatre. I think one of the things I really took away from both was thinking about labour and birth in a positive empowering way as in it's totally natural, what our bodies are designed to do and that it should be an active process not a passive one. Plus, thinking about it as healthy pain of a muscle working rather than sick pain. Both books talked a lot about visualising what the muscles of the uterus were doing, visualising the cervix opening, baby descendibg etc which I found really helpful in labour. There were loads of different suggestions in the JuJu book I only used a few but wouldn't have known what would/wouldn't work for me til I was in labour so was glad had read it all and got DH to read a lot of it too. Him counting me in and out of contractions really helped. I'd say the only really truly horrendous bit was in the car on way to hospital as it was agony to sit down during contractions. That's the only time I really lost control and screamed my head off OBEM style!! Hope that's helpful.

seahawk id been nervous about g&a after feeling really sick on it when I'd used it previously to have a load of stitches and glass pulled out my hand. Found it totally different to use in labour. I didn't use it til I was 9cm which I think helped keep it really effective for me.

Thanks for the reassurance audrey the feeding is definitely getting better, she's managing much longer feeds which have certainly spaced out more during the day. Night time still a bit crazy though and she absolutely hates being put back down so fussed for ages after a feed. Sometimes she gets herself so worked up it's so hard to calm her down and she seems really panicky which breaks my heart a bit! Ha, DH is doing great with the practical stuff but isn't really getting the emotional side of things which is winding me up.

The double dose antibiotics I'm on have really disagreed with my tummy, I'm feeling weak from the anaemia and have a 2cn gape where some of my stitches have opened up and going to have to heal frontbe inside out now which will tKe longer so feeling a little fed up in myself. Finding it hard that I can't walk far at all and feeling really feeble so not been out really beyond garden or very short walk round block yet.

What a lovely scan pic Tonks congratulations!!

How was they GD test Fishy?

Little lady seems to be finished with this feed now so going to see if I can sneak her back in the crib and get another few hours kip!

Your experience sounds similar to mine mentally marmite agree with the car journey to the hospital being bloody awful. Was E back to back?

Please take it easy! I know you want to get out and about but your body is recovering from a massive traumatic event, you need to rest and recuperate. I pushed myself early on and was really ill and ended up with a horrific viral infection in my foof when he was 6 weeks old! (Nobody sure what it actually was, gynae dr said shed never seen anything like it! And I didn't give birth vaginally!) Ended up on huge antibiotics and bed rest for 3 weeks. The anaemia can knock you sideways, did they give you the super strength iron tablets? If so, take them religiosity but eat bran and dried fruit (anything to keep you regular!) When you've just given birth you're considered immuno compromised and you also effectively had surgery, another factor for immuno compromise. TAKE IT EASY! 😊😀 There will be plenty of time for walks when you've healed!

Aw thanks audrey! You are right of course. I guess I'm just feeling the pressure to get out to see how we manage and to attempt to feed in public before DH goes back to work and also we have our NCT babies reunion next week and their babies are all older and all have been out and about loads and so I'm worried about how I'm going to manage with her and with feeding in front of everyone etc. I know it's silly really but can't help but feel anxious about it. Also I keep thinking its been a week and a half now, several of the NCT girls were out in that time to meet for walks/coffee. But then I need to remind myself they had more straightforward births. The rational part of my brain knows you're exactly right and that I need to stop comparing myself but struggling to actually do that! Any top tips for feeding in public?!

Yep she was back to back which didn't know, unless she turned at some point during labour, little monkey. 34 odd hour labour and 2 and a half hours of pushing. That's why couldn't quite push her out, she was looking up and wouldn't flex her neck so the part of her head trying to come through was too big. I'm lucky to have got her so near though and avoided C section or higher up forceps - I could see and feel the top her hairy little head! (DH actually took a picture before we went to theatre to show me how close she was when I was pushing!! ) so they more had to turn her with the forceps I think.

That infection sounds horrendous, you poor thing! I will keep in mind as don't want to end up with something else!!
I'm on the 3 a day iron tablets and was worried about constitpation but actually have gone the other way - awful diahhrea which is not fun either, think the antibiotics disagree with me. Finished the course yesterday though! Yay.

Have you started the baby led weaning? How's it going?

Marmite you sound like an absolute trooper, go you!! However you can take things easy and still be amazing. I'm also worried about feeding in public - when the time comes! DH thinks I'll take the "whatever" attitude when it happens, hope he's right! Glucose test came back high, but then midwife said levels for pregnancy are different and I'm in range (but very close to the top still). I guess I just need to keep an extra eye on how I'm feeling. I'm so close to due date now I guess they wouldn't do anything anyway.

Marmite you are doing great! Please try and go at your own pace and don't compare to others although I know it's tricky! In some cultures new mums are completely looked after for a month whereas here we're expected to host the entire family within hours or was that just me? Labour is tough, take care of yourself and make sure you're eating and drinking plenty for your milk supply. You need way more calories breastfeeding than being pregnant, it's great

Re feeding in public - I bought a Bebe chic - https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B00B6XK7YO/ref=mpssa111?ie=UTF8&qid=1494075681&sr=1-1&pi=ACSX2366SY340QL65&keywords=bebe+chic&dpPl=1&dpID=51oHxm1G8kL&ref=plSrch and I totally recommend it. Was great when A was tiny and fussing about latching. It was also great when she got to the stage of wanting to look round and getting distracted when we were out feeding! It's such a good thing for confidence.

How are you getting on with putting E down? We really struggled with that too. They've been so used to being all comforted and snug inside you it's a big shock to them! We used a sleepyhead and put a hot water bottle in that to warm it up a bit first which worked quite well.

Audrey I'm going to set myself up on FB and come and join the first grads I'll pm you so you can help me find my way!

star so glad the results were good! Here's hoping for a stress free pregnancy for what remains

marmite you are doing much better that you think you are! One of my best friends who had her first a year ago said she just wished people had been more honest with her about how tough the first weeks can be so she wasn't so hard on herself for not being up to all the visitors, ventures out etc, she had quite a few stitches and got both mastitis and a wound infection in those weeks and found it really tough but she's says looking back now she was just putting too much pressure on herself to be 'normal' again.

I had an unfortuntate retching episode while filling the car up with petrol this morning at a packed petrol station, so hoping there was no one there who new me, I couldn't bring myself to look around and check. Just thankful for the pay at pump option so that I didn't actually have to speak to anyone.

Re: feeding in public : Just do it and bollocks if anyone looks (which I've found in the whole, they don't even notice. If you make eye contact by accident, smile beninely and then look down at baby. People genuinely dont notice, and even if they do, theyre not bothered, and even if theyre bothered, fuck 'em! I really have found that most places are really accommodating though, giraffe in the Trafford Centre were particularly lovely. I had a cover but found it more difficult to monouvre. (If I can find it, you can have it!). I favour the one-up-one-down approach. Two tops, one nursing top (too that can be pulled down under nipple. And one up, looser top over which can be pulled up and draped over baby's cheek after she's latched. It will get easier once you're both used to it. L is more of after liability now with nipple flashing as he's a nosy bugger.

Don't compare yourself/birth/baby/parenting to anyone else's, 'Tis the way madness lies. Take everything at your own pace. Your baby has never been born before, you have never been a mum before, you are both learning. Don't wear yourself out. I had the opinion that if baby woke at 8 am and then went back to sleep till dinnertime then so would I. And I did for the most part. I didn't even try and get out anywhere on my own till he was at least 10 weeks. Took my mam/dad/dh with me. If we had a day just me and him and i managed to have a cup of tea warm/had a shower/he was washed and fed then I'd done a good job! And definitely eat all the cake. Tea and cake is so important! You are doing an excellent job!

Yay soda see you soon!

lovely how exciting being so close to your due date!

glittery you poor thing. Take it as easy as you can and bollocks to what anyone thinks! You're pregnant!

Sorry just catching up...

Macs & Tonks lovely scan pictures, glad everything went well.

Marmite thank you for sharing bits about labour & what the early days are like, it's very interesting. Hope you're doing ok.

Audrey thanks for sharing your experiences too. I can imagine those hormones go crazy after giving birth so I've warned DH!

Fishy hope you're feeling ok & getting lots of rest. Can't believe your little one will be here soon!

Tonks we had so much worry over the NF measurement it's ridiculous. They couldn't measure NT at 12 week scan as baby was too bouncy so no idea what ours was but for the NF we had 7 measurements taken by 3 different people, and every single one was different & the range was 5.9 to 9.0 so I really do question the accuracy... if you feel you'd like some peace of mind I'd really recommend the Harmony test.

Glittery that's exciting about your booking in appointment. I really enjoyed mine, made it feel real! Make sure you take a note of your medical conditions/history & that of your partner & your parents. We had DH's parents info but the midwife wasn't very bothered about that!

Thank you for thinking of me & for your kind messages about our Harmony results. Hope everyone is having a nice weekend.

Just having a catch up after a busy few days.

star that's amazing news. So happy for you! It took a while for it to really sink in for me that all was ok and to be really excited again so don't worry if it does take a while. Hopefully it doesn't though and you're over the moon already!

marmite and audrey thanks for sharing. I've got the fear now about the post birth age towards DH, he's driving me mad this weekend as it is! Probably because we're doing DIY and he's not the best bless him.

We did a Red Cross baby and child first aid course yesterday morning. I can't recommend it enough. It's made me feel much more confident about being responsible for a baby. They have a free app which anyone can download so even if you don't do a course you can get the app which is really useful.

Forgot to say fishy everyone is really local on our nct. You can call them to check the postcode areas of the others if anyone else is thinking of signing up. We had 2 courses near us so I wanted to check people would be nearby on the one we chose (we chose the cheaper one!) Everyone seems lovely so hopefully will have some friends to hang out with on mat leave.

Thanks so much for your kind words and support, welling up as I read them! 😍 You guys are of course right, just hard to keep in mind. Gave up on the idea of doing a walk or anything yesterday and just had a lovely chill in the garden under the parasol. SiL came to visit for a while though and stayed a bit too long really which was pretty knackering. And she arrived empty handed - not even a packet of biscuits! Will just have to see how things go as to whether we'll realistically make the nct lunch at the weekend...

Audrey I can't get my head round the one up one down feeding method. Is the down top on top of a nursing bra too? I.e. You'd pull the top down and unclip the nursing bra? I've been living in loose fitting shirts since the birth with just nursing bra underneath, thinking undoing a couple of buttons and unclippibg bra might work relatively well for feeding in public? Will check out Giraffe in the Traf!
Thanks for the link soda will have a look at that too, especially as E seems to be becoming an increasingly fussy latcher the eating plenty thing is great isn't it!

Fishy I have a friend who was diagnosed with GD at 38 wks and they induced her just after due date. Though her baby was also measuring big which was also a factor. Yours is still within range which is the main thing. Just thought I'd mention. As you say you've only a few weeks if that left and you're still within the normal range

Hope you're feeling better glittery I remember how awful public sickness is, poor you!

We did that first aid course seahawk its great isn't it. Could do with refreshing my memory a bit actually now should have a flick through the booklet.

Hope everyone is well xx

marmite it's really helpful to hear your experiences so thank you! I think I will go for the JuJu birth skills book to begin with. I want DH to read some stuff too but at the moment he is distinctly uninterested in anything birth related and thinks it's funny to make jokes about how it can't be that hard can it. Grrrr. I can imagine him suddenly realising that he should know more about it as we sit in a delivery room with me in labour and then spending the whole time looking it up on google and not helping me!

Also, that thing about the rage at DH - unfortunately I already seem to get that so I can only imagine what it will be like after baby is here! Ha.

Antibiotics, gaping stitches and anaemia seem like good reasons to take things at your own pace to me! I can understand the anxiety around that though.

I'm not going to get caught out by writing a long message and it then deleting so sending this bit now!

seahawk I booked that course after you mentioned it last time! Got it next month and it is helping me feel more prepared in general. Glad to hear it was good!

Also, I hadn't thought to check the postcodes of other NCT people on our course. We have had to book onto one that is slightly further from our house as the dates of the other one clashed with the two weddings we have in July. I'm hoping that there will at least be one or two couples from our side of town.

tonks lovely scan pic and yay for skipping forward a bit in time! We got put forward a few days at our 12 week scan and it felt like a real bonus for those early weeks!

DH and I are feeling quite tired and stressed at the moment. Think we have just taken too much on (over committing to social events, DIY and being busy at work because we're going away next week). Also, I applied at work for a promotion position which we have to interview for. I found out on Friday that I got an interview but it's literally the day we got back from holiday which is a bummer and also I feel like a total fraud turning up pregnant as its for a role that starts ASAP. I don't think the people that sifted the applications know (although I do see them around the office occasionally and haven't been trying to hide it) but what do they do? I know they can't technically discriminate but I feel like they could easily come up with another reason to reject me but I do feel like it is a role that I could do well and pregnancy (and maternity leave) is only a temporary state! Do I even mention it at the interview to clear the elephant in the room? It feels like I might be about to go through a lot of effort preparing for nothing. Grateful for any thoughts!

Lovely scan tonks, congratulations!

I've been prescribed hayfever meds as when I went to the pharmacist in Boots to ask what sort to get she told me she couldn't sell me them. Which is a bit ridiculous as on the NHS website it says they're safe (as safe as anything can be during pregnancy - no testing etc). Taken from the NHS website:

"loratadine – this is usually the first choice for pregnant women because of the amount of safety data available for it
cetirizine – if loratadine isn't suitable or doesn't work for you, your GP may recommend cetirizine, another antihistamine tablet that doesn't cause drowsiness"

Star so relieved for you! Must be a great feeling knowing you don't have to worry too much.

Glad you're home marmite, take care of yourself and don't worry about what everyone else is doing - you can only go at your own pace. Lots of my friends found it much easier to stay at home for the first few weeks, whereas others wanted to get out sooner. Each to their own. Your advice re hypnobirthing is invaluable! I'm going to start reading up on it all in a couple of weeks. Bit early for me now (I hope) at almost 27 weeks but I certainly will come 30+

I know what you mean about the pregnancy rage/hormones! I haven't felt too bad with DH but the other day he mentioned a work trip abroad when baby will be 3 months old and I just felt like how could he possibly leave me!? In reality it's only for 3 or 4 days and we'll be just fine, and he really can't get out of it. But my rational head isn't always compatible with my pregnancy head!

Music I had a similar work situation when I was about 16 weeks. It was awkward and the people interviewing my knew I was pregnant. Unsurprisingly they found someone else for the role but my company doesn't have the best track record of promoting pregnant women. Thereafter I got a decent bonus and pay rise so can't complain really, although that could have been their guilt at not giving me a higher position! Part of me wishes I hadn't bothered but it was less-stressful than it could have been and had I not gone for it I would have always wondered. I think it's a totally individual situation and you shouldn't feel bad about going for the job if you want it. You're entitled to!

Also, I weighed myself this morning, which was probably a bad idea as I'm now worried that I haven't gained exactly 16.23456 lb or whatever I should have gained at this stage. I'm almost 27 weeks and have gained 21lb which is over what I would have liked. I was a 26 bmi to start and whilst not huge I had high hopes to only gain 2 stone and that's clearly not going to happen now as I'm only 7lb/13 weeks away. My app says 1lb a week for the final 13 is a good idea as baby is putting on lots of weight now. I've been eating healthily I just haven't been denying myself cake and biscuits like I have done for, oh, about the last 5 years! And in truth I've really enjoyed eating what I like, until I step on the scales and get a shock. How is everyone else coping with the weight gain? It's pretty much all bump, although my boobs have gone up a couple of sizes too. Elsewhere I'm the same as before. Does this mean I'll have a basketball sized stomach post-birth?! God knows. And I know it's really trivial and I shouldn't stress when I'm so lucky to be in this position and probably just need to put down the biscuits. I've always been a bit obsessed about my weight - my mum was too and it didn't help - I really hope not to pass on that anxiety to this little bean.

I've been a bit quiet due to having bleeding on Friday night and imagining the worst, but had a scan this morning and measurements as expected and we saw the heartbeat :)

wanting if you've generally been eating healthily I'm sure it's fine. I guess the amount of weight you gain, and when you gain it, will vary massively from person to person. Must be strange to watch your body change though!

Congrats on the interview Music! Agree that although they can't technically discriminate, unfortunately it's possible they will take it into consideration (which is totally unfair and sucks!). Very much depends on your employer though, hopefully they will be professional enough to choose the best candidate. I personally wouldn't mention the pregnancy but others will probably have better advice!

Seahawk great advice on the first aid course, I really fancy doing one. I will download the app for a look tonight!

wanting - weight gain comes up quite often on our facebook group. I've gained 23.7lbs at 27 weeks so you're doing better than me! I was (and still am) aiming for a 35lbs (2.5st) gain as my BMI was just under 26 before getting pregnant too. I'm not too worried, I have gone up 3-4 bra sizes and other than my arms and back getting a bit flabbier than before the weight seems to be going to my bump. As long as you're being sensible then it's not worth stressing about in my opinion.

music - I probably would mention it, because then they are definitely aware and hopefully will not want to come across as discriminatory. You must have a leaving date in place already so I would personally feel like I had to be upfront in saying when you would be planning to leave the role for maternity as they will need to make arrangements to cover it fairly shortly.