#TTC1 - Second Wave grads thread the Second!

[kavanaughkj]

Hello all! Welcome to the second thread for the 'new wave' of grads from #TTC1 - the first wave ladies seem to have decamped en masse to Facebook now (I heard weaning mentioned last time I ventured onto it) so this is now officially the place to be!

We're pretty spread out over the pregnancy journey so far with some newbies and some about to pop I'll try to maintain a list so if anybody wants to leave details of due dates and whether you're Team Blue, Pink or Vanilla (I think we're pretty heavily skewed towards Pink at the moment) then leave your details and I'll amalgamate them!

As Moose mentioned in our last thread, please do feel free to join in if this is your first time walking this weird and wonderful path - there is no such thing as TMI and we're all learning off each other!

I'd try not to worry about the weight too much, i put on more than they say should for a healthy bmi and my weight gain ramped up from early on too, stressed me out at first but then I just stopped worrying about it. Mine was all on the bump too plus fluid retention towards the end - my face, feet and hands got quite puffy. Every body is different and I think it's ubrealistic to try and fit everyone into set parameters. I've been really pleasantly surprised at how quickly everything has really contracted back down already with breastfeeding. Obviously still a bit wobbly round the edges but compared to what I was expecting I'm pleasantly surprised!

Also music agree with mrsg I'd be upfront about it, they have to be especially careful not to discriminate with it being a protected characteristic. If you are the best candidate for the job they should offer it to you and then find mat cover in the meantime. Hopefully if it's a sensible organisation they'll be a bit more long term thinking about it... although I know a lot of places wouldn't be, my line manager included! At least you'll know you e gone for it and given it your best shot though x

Thanks ladies! Funnily enough the decision was taken out of my hands yesterday as word has got around to one of the people that will be on the panel and he came around to my desk yesterday and said 'so I heard that you'll be taking some time off soon'! He then, in the guise of a general chat managed to ask me my due date and my plans for mat leave. Seriously annoying as he wouldn't have been able to ask me those questions in an interview context but because we work in the same team he knew he could come and dig for info like it was a friendly chat. He even launched into some chat about how there is a biological trigger in us that goes off when we have a baby and our personalities change. WTF is he trying to say???

I do work in the public sector and I think they are fairer than some but I really don't have high hopes for a fair shot at it now. Annoyingly I know that if I don't do my best I'll be annoyed at myself and still wonder 'what if' so I'll still be putting in the hours to prepare for the interview. I plan to then say something quite factual at the end of the interview like - 'obviously you know that I'm pregnant. My agreed start date for mat leave is X so I will be working for the next 2.5 months and then intend to take 8 or 9 months of maternity leave as I am sharing parental leave with my husband.' And then what will be will be.

Carley I'm sorry to hear you had some bleeding, it must have been scary. So happy to hear the scan went well & baby is fine xx

Music I can't believed he asked you all that!!! It's so bad.

Thanks for everyone's lovely comments about the scan, I just can't stop looking at it, it really is the most amazing experience.

Glittery yes we're definitely going to find out the sex. We could pay for an early sexing scan in 2 weeks but DH thinks we should wait until the 20 week scan (still only 6 weeks) so we'll see.

Mrsg I'm still surprised by the dates. I was using OPKs and temping so I pretty much know exactly when I ovulated. I suspect I implanted early as I got my BFP on 9DPO but 5 days is a lot.

Star I was so happy to read your news! It must be such a relief. We're just waiting for the results from my blood test for the combined screening. I have everything crossed that they come back low risk.

You sound like you're doing great marmite. It's really interesting to read your experience.

Music how annoying that he's put you in that position. It's not fair at all.

Congratulations on the healthy scan Carly. The bleeding sounds scary so it's great you've had some reassurance that baby is ok.

Well Baby G wasn't feeling up to showing us her face at the scan tonight, she was turned away from us the whole time and didn't want to move even after I jogged up and down two sets of stairs a few times! We have s rescan booked for next Wednesday but during the day so hopefully she'll be a bit more active.

We got her measurements again though and an estimated weight of 2lbs 8oz at 27+2 which is exactly where she should be

Ah Music that sounds very irritating, not sure what he's getting at with the personality thing! I work in the public sector too and in my experience they're careful not to discriminate and be 'family friendly' so hopefully you have a fair shot. Good luck and hope it goes well!

Finding out the sex will be so exciting tonks, do you have any gut feeling if baby's boy or girl?

Hope Baby G isn't so shy next week Mrs G! Good to hear your little bubba is growing away nicely :)

Morning all. Just a quick post to say Little Fishy was born on Tuesday morning! Got home yesterday afternoon, doing well if a bit tired. So much love!

Congratulations fishy fantastic news! So glad you're home and doing well 😊

Ahhh fishy congratulations!! I was wondering about you this week but I couldn't remember when your due date was. Did she arrive a bit early? Can't wait to hear more! Hope you didn't have too much of a difficult slog. Glad you are back home and settling in. How does it feel??

Carley I'm so glad you had a reassuring scan. Did they track down the source of the bleeding? Can imagine how worrying it was although it does sound like quite a few people experience it at some point. Not that it helps to hear that at the time!

Really interested to hear how marmite and fishy are getting on with breast feeding if they're trying it. My friend who has recently had a baby is really struggling as baby just doesn't seem bothered about latching so she is doing a mixture of expressing and formula at the moment. Do you get much support at the hospital?

Yay! Congrats Fishy on your little fishy! Looking forward to hearing more when you get more settled over the coming months.

I think my friend is in labour with her second.... waiting to hear

My midwives were helpful with breastfeeding. But I was absolutely determined (as I knew that dh would be going back to work and in 12 hour shifts so i needed to be able to bf as the thought of expressing/sterilising on top of everything else was a non-starter.)

Tell your mate to get baby checked for tongue tie music . Your area should have a specialist health visitor who is trained to check for it. Alternatively insist on an appointment with the lactation consultant at your nearest maternity hospital. If there's a breastfeeding group run by the sure start/council quite often that's where you can find details. (DS was TT and it wasn't discovered till 17 weeks and divided at 19 weeks.)

Massive congratulations fishy 👍💕🌹🌷🎁🌞🎉🍰😀

Fantastic news congratulations Fishy!! Great news that youre home, hope you're both doing well and enjoying this precious time of newborn snuggles and becoming a little family

music yes exclusively breastfeeding here. We had a difficult start as she wasn't interested in feeding at all as was so poorly so had to syringe colostrum for her then hand express milk for cup feeds but this was while we were still in hospital so got a lot of support. Once she started feeling better she all of a sudden became much more interested in feeding. I think what could be made clearer about breastfeeding is that it's a learned skill for both you and baby - I'd initially thought basically babies instinctively know how to BF and it was just a learned skill for mum therefore when I was struggling to get a good latch I thought it was all me not doing it right but actually she is learning all the time too and is getting much better at opening her mouth wider for a good latch. It is really exhausting and full on, but really rewarding too and I feel lucky that I'm able to feed her and have a good milk supply. I'd say we definitely still have good days and bad days! Also not sure how I'll ever manage to feed even remotely discreetly on public!!!

Oh and yes as audrey says I was given details of several local breastfeeding support groups and also having done Nct course have access to NCT breastfeeding counsellor who comes to your house. I haven't used her yet but a few of the girls from my NCT group had her come out the same day they contacted her and found her very helpful. I can also ring postnatal ward at the hospital for over the phone breastfeeding guidance during the night for the first few weeks. There is a lot of support out there, at least in this area, which is reassuring to know it's there if needed!

Also seconding what marmite said. It is a learned skill for both mum and baby. Look on YouTube for breastfeeding videos too as there are some helpful tips. We're at nearly 6 months of breastfeeding now and I thoroughly enjoy it. Even with all the discomfort and stress before he was diagnosed, he stopped putting weight on at about 7 weeks, I was told to give him top ups, he had 6 oz a day of ebm. Back to being ebf again now again. If you can grit your teeth, get on with it but most importantly access knowledgeable support that's they key.

I agree with Audrey. Get the reassurance re tongue tie. My friends little boy had tongue tie that was missed until he was on his way to being two. He found it so difficult to swallow solids that it made him scared of them and she still has problems with him eating now. Definitely get it double checked.

Congratulations Fishy! Glad you're both well, hope you're settling in well at home :)

music they didn't try to determine cause of bleeding and didn't seem overly concerned about it to be honest (perhaps because as you say it's unfortunately quite common!). Fingers crossed there won't be any more though.

Congratulations Fishy, lovely news! Glad you're both doing well.

Is it soon that you have your second scan bluebell?

Hey Tonks! Yes, Sunday! Eeeek!

Congrats to fishy!! Yay for thread babies! It's funny to think you just made a whole person in just 9 months - well done you! Yes, despite ttc for a year I am still boggled by the concept of conception. I've nothing useful to add, my brain is in a funk 😒

Congratulations fishy! Such lovely news. Glad you're home and hope you're enjoying your new bundle.

I'm totally with you skip! The thought of there being another human inside me is mind boggling!

JUst wait til you're sat looking at said baby on your lap thinking that was inside me??!! Those were the feet and knees that kept kicking me?! I grew those perfect little ears and hands in the last 9 months without actually consciously doing anything myself?! Totally mind bending!!! I cannot get my head round it at all!

Look forward to hearing all about little fishy when you're ready fishy!

Moose is next in line, think she's been quiet for a bit? Hope all is well x

Aww marmite that's amazing! Hopefully no news is good news from moose