September 2017 #2

[oliversmummy26]

Starting a new thread for us all....

Not back to work tomorrow, back to the doctors*

I don't think it has anything to do with risks to baby, they are reluctant to prescribe in all but really dire cases (ie dehydration). Tend to be antihistamines or blockers. Plenty of information online

No I don't think so carolina. I think some are far more wary than others. I found my GP far better than the midwife last time who told me I shouldn't be taking anti-emetics 'as the sickness should have gone by now'. She didn't believe me until I fainted due to dehydration during an appointment. Another GP told me that being sick 'wasn't important'. I did point out that he if was being sick several times a day he wouldn't think it was unimportant. I think it's down to a really paternalistic and sexist attitude to pregnant women but I won't start that rant!

Lules that sounds awful, hope you manage to keep things down today.

I've ended up stuck in an awkward situation between my DM & my DH. We had our early scan on Thursday at 7+5 and then afterwards told my mum & stepdad & DH's mum & stepdad. My dad & stepmum were coming to visit yesterday so planned to tell them then.

All were v happy & sworn to secrecy as we wanted to keep it parents only until 12 weeks. DM begged me to tell my step sister so she had someone to talk to which we reluctantly agreed to.

Then my DM calls me on Saturday morning to say "I'm with your Aunty" in a leading way & I said please keep it a secret like we asked & she replied "oh but she's so happy for you" meaning too bloody late!!! This isn't an actual aunt btw, just my mums friend.

I was so upset I burst into tears, probably ott but pregnancy prerogative!! This meant DH came in to see what was wrong. In a lifetime of covering up for my useless DM I said oh nothing, she wanted to tell my aunty but I said no but got angry & I always get upset when I'm angry! So he messaged her (without me knowing) to say please don't tell anyone, London is upset & wants to be family only until 12 weeks. To which my mum replied oh but she's so happy & it's only aunty, so telling DH it was too late.

My DH is absolutely livid. Random "aunty" knew before my dad, his dad, his siblings, nan etc. He's so mad at my DM, & now me, because I'm not visibly raging. I'm not bloody happy but this is such standard behaviour from my DM. Plus she was texting all day saying how she couldn't stop crying so I basically had to forgive her. He was brooding over it all night & was up at 7 this morning.

Maybe his is the normal reaction & im just numb to my mother. She showed people pics of my wedding dress fitting to when I wanted her to be the only person with me.

Sorry, rambling post. Anyone else have such a useless DM? She'll probably share my sodding scan pic on fecking Facebook.

Oh London that sounds awful. She seems like the sort of person who makes things about her, iykwim.
I'd be raging too like your DH, but I'm much more of an outbursty person, then once I've been angry and had a vent I get over it quickly.
Can you text her and say you feel that she's gone against your wishes again and that it's really upset you. Then don't share anything with her that you don't mind other people finding out...!

Hope everyone feeling OK, I'm 9+1 today and feeling rotten and sick until midday everyday, then slightly queasy for the rest of the day. Sorry to all you vomiters. Must be so horrific

Thanks cashmere. You've hit the nail on the head. I'm mostly in awe of her ability - I've gone from mad to worrying that my DH is mad at her!!

I'm with you on the nausea although about half the time it does come through to vomiting, inc in a bush outside a service station on Friday!!

Lules wow I would be furious with her to start with but then maybe she is so proud of you and excited about your news she is bursting to tell someone. Maybe have a chat with her and explain how upset her actions make you and you feel you can't share anything with her that you want to keep private? Maybe she will be more careful in the future? It's not fair as this is your news not hers.

London really feel for you with the sickness it's horrible even if you have it mildly, cant imagine how terrible you are feeling. if you are struggling to keep fluids down call 111 and get an emergency appointment. It might be heightened by your stomach being empty which is impossible if you can't keep anything down. If you have any fresh ginger maybe try sucking on that might help or ice lolly so you get some sugar as well? Really hope you feel better!!

Just realised I put the names the wrong way round pregnancy brain!!

Oh no London that is really upsetting and very unfair of her to put you in that situation. I think that you need to tell her that your DH is upset that the 'auntie' knows before his family and if she understands that she has done wrong, which she appears to unless they are just crocodile tears, then she needs to promise she doesn't tell anyone else anything without you saying it is OK. My Mum drove me mad during my last pregnancy by constantly asking when we were going to announce as she was dying to tell her best friend but at least I knew by her doing that that she hadn't actually told anyone.

Does anyone know what happened to the facebook group? I messaged pinkandwhite who said she had set one up but didn't get a reply.

I would say to her that she purposely has gone against your wishes and are really upset, and I would also say if she can't respect your wishes then she won't be kept in the loop next time as you can't trust her. Hopefully that will make her think twice? It's not on really.

Oh London!!!
MIL has begged us to tell DHs sister. So we're doing that tonight. We are going to be VERY strict about it with her as baby is still under regular growth scans and may be poorly as I'm high risk. SIL is a blabber mouth so I'm not confident. But apparently it's "not fair" her not knowing. 😕

Oh London it's so frustrating. Just like my MIL, who is such a blabbermouth and turns every situation about her. When we told her we were engaged it was all "I'm not ready to be a MIL blah blah blah", then when we announced our first pregnancy it was "I don't want to be a Nanny yet" and all about how it'll affect her. With second baby she whinged about how hard it'll be and we'll be losing time with our first one (16m gap). My DH told her about this pregnancy "oh! .........." and nothing else was said

batfish i am in the facebook group... have no idea how to add aomeone tho... i sent PM'd my facebook link to Shwighty1 and she added me
Sorry to all those with sickness, it's kicked in for me too but not on that scale, take care of yourselves xx

MouseLove that's so annoying - it's not fair for her not to know yet it is totally fair for you and DH to be put under extra pressure by telling more people when you're worrying about whether your baby is OK? Your DH's sister has no idea there is something she is missing out on so I'm sure she can cope by continuing not to know. And if she finds out later that you didn't tell her at the very beginning and she is upset about it then unfortunately that's life. Some things are more important than considering people's feelings. That wasn't meant to sound like I was having a go at you by the way, more a general rant about how everyone think it become their news and not yours and pressure you to tell people when actually you're really bloody stressed and just want to keep it to yourself until you're feeling more confident.

I had to tell some friends on Friday because i wasn't drinking at a dinner and one of them spotted a bruise on my arm from my blood test and they badgered the hell out of me. I would never ever ask someone if they were pregnant - if they want to tell me then they will when they're ready. Grrrr.

Thanks newbie87 I've messaged Shwighty1

kep1979 Oh ok that's makes sense! Yes you'll Defo want an extension to see you through a little longer! I guess it would be hard to get a job when you're heavily pregnant.

lules it must be awful for you, my SIL has it so bad too she can't do anything! Make sure you look after yourself:)

lomdon sorry to hear that about your DM I totally understand where you're coming from. MY DM likes to make things about her too, she told me I can't tell her the sex of the baby, like it's her child and her decision!! I'm not going to tip-toe around her as my OH and I want to know and will talk about it openly!!!

london

Mothers hey mouselove - giving us lots of hints on what not to do to our children later in life!!!

She'll get round me quick enough & I think she's learnt her lesson. Hope DH calms down too soon.

Oh well, onwards! Nap time now...baby brain this morning...put the washing on....left the washing powder in its little dispenser on the side!

So I called 111 who sent me to out of hours gp who's sent me to A&E to be rehydrated so I'm waiting there now. This is all a bit rubbish.

Oh lules, thinking of you
I hope they also give you something to feel better

Batfish - I think pinkandwhite left the group but if you pm me with your Facebook name I can see if I can get you added.

Batfish i can add you and anyone else to the fb. Unfortunately pinkandwhite pregnancy wasnt viable so she left the group.

Im very anxious unreasonably everyday that something will go wrong. Even tho my last was fine. Im well stressed out.
Plus dh is being irritating complaining he feels bad after he played football 🙈

Good luck lules, hopefully they will be able to help you feel better! x

DH has taken the children today and all I have done is lie in bed. I'm still in bed now. What a waste of a day! But all my body wants to do is lie down. It's ridiculous I have so many productive jobs I could be doing and instead I am lying here

Im so tired and emotional :). Counting down to scan on Wednesday!