May 2017 #5 - 20 week scans and pram buying plans

[Adventuregame]

Almost half way through ladies.........

So glad baby ok raspberry, and congrats to all those having scans!

Completely random question has anyone thought about how to manage visitors after the baby is born, we have PIL here for Christmas and although they're lovely I feel unreasonably stressed by their presence. Even if we move before baby is born we'll still be at least six hours away from them so it's not like they'd be able to pop in for an hour or so and as it's the first Grandchild I can't say stay away for 2 weeks nor do I really want to but the thought of them staying with us when we won't have a clue what we're doing with a baby stresses me out months before it's even a possibility. Confused!!

Jugoo28 thanks, I'll check it out with my midwife at my next appointment.
I'm currently on holiday in NZ, it's so beautiful here, I don't want to leave!

Great news on the scans and glad all is ok raspberry.

Rise, we have the same issue really although PIL only live a couple of hours away but they would normally stay if they come down which I don't really want them to do for the first week at least. It's a difficult one.

1004 and lucie - I have the same problem! I'm thinking they can possibly stay in a local hotel? I've raised the problem with DH who agrees that having people stay over is problematic but we've not really agreed a solution.

Yay! Congrats shoni and jonsnow It really is the best Xmas pressie ever isn't it! Ours was sucking it's thumb. So amazing.

Glad all good news for you raspberry what a relief!

The parents staying thing is a little tricky. My mum lives abroad and has already talked about coming over to stay and help. However she doesn't cook bless her (and I'm big into food!) and I have a feeling DH and me may want our own space as we figure things out. I love her to bits..... hate not knowing what to do or say as really don't want to upset her and do want her around just maybe not all day every day for 2 weeks or so.

Especially hard to plan when you don't really know when exactly baby will be born I totally understand those who are struggling with how to handle this issue..... looking forward to hearing how people plan to navigate this.....

Well I'm glad I'm not the only one, was starting to feel guilty for being ungrateful.... I think I could tell my mum to F off in frustration, tiredness and panic and she wouldn't bat an eyelid but I worry that I'd have to watch what I say to avoid causing offence and I'm not sure I'll have the capacity to put that much thought into it

Glad everything is ok Raspberry!

Rise we've discussed it and I'm keen for nobody to be staying over for a little while. I want us to find out feet and don't want to have to worry about cleaning and cooking for someone else. I'd prefer to go and visit my husbands family after a couple of weeks. My family are local so can pop in but not need to sleep over. I think I'd like to stagger visitors so that it's not too overwhelming. Although of course that may all change when it actually happens! Might be glad of the company of someone who knows what they are doing!

All my family live near so there was no issues with anyone having to stay. But I cannot imagine having even my closest family staying soon after giving birth! Especially with my first, I was in agony, not able to sit down properly, leaking through pads, I had to completely strip off to breastfeed which was awful with bleeding painful red nipples, you get the picture.

Maybe it would all be fine but there's no way of knowing in advance how well you'll be and whether you'll want company or not.

I did like my mum and others visiting lots but only short visits and got them to phone in advance to make sure it was a good time for us.

But it's very hard as they'll be desperate to see you and the baby.

When dh is back at work i happy to have people to stay. He is out from
5.30-6 so the company and support is welcomed. Especially with dd2 as it also meant dd1 was entertained.

Would your family members really expect to stay in your house when you've just had a baby? Mine live close by so there's no issue there but I know mine would not expect to stay at mine and would go to a hotel or with other relatives. Not just for our sake but for their own...a baby crying every couple of hours at night or a good night sleep in a local hotel? No contest really!!

Re clothes, as already said all brands differ so markedly and you won't know what size/shape yours will be, fewer of the smaller sizes is better: better yet, don't unpack and wash the ones you do buy so you can return if needed. I sorted mine by size from smallest to largest ignoring the labels in the end.
You may also find you prefer certain clothing to others. We used sleepsuits but soon decided tops / bottoms were easier, and vests lasted less than a week, as our boy gets hot easily (none of that one more layer stuff for him), plus i find them a faff when nappy changing.
OTOH, if your baby is sick a lot (some after every feed) or manages regular spectacular poonamis, you may need multiple changes a day (we didn't) - but if so easy to send oh to shops for new ones.
Re visitors, we had my sil for Christmas shortly after birth, it actually worked ok as she's not a high maintainence guest, and helped with the cooking/cleaning etc. But if you know you or your guests will not be like that, i suggest you set ground rules now already. It would be very difficult if i had to share my space with a relative before baby arrived especially if it was late as first babies often are. You also might feel very possessive of the baby and often relatives want to hold/feed baby etc, which IMO can interfere with the mother/baby bonding that's so important in the first week or two, when all you should be concentrating on is the new baby and recovering from the birth. Lots of physical contact (bare skin if possible!) helps establish breastfeeding, and newborns need to feed/suckle A LOT, so either you need to be comfortable around the guests half naked (because at first you're still learning how to feed, so you need to see what you're doing and if baby is attached right), or you (and they!) need to be happy with you and baby feeding in your bedroom instead.

I think tackling it early on is probably the best plan, my parents will be fine and they'll be closer hopefully. My Mum has already said we know you'll need help but you have to ask which is good. PIL are nearly 70 but are an old 70 if that makes sense. It won't cross FIL's mind to stay elsewhere when we have a spare room so if we have the discussion now then they have time to see sense.... we can lean on the crying baby A LOT They are lovely and when I see some of the threads on here I'm lucky and shouldn't complain, but they are high maintenance (despite being told 100 gazillion times to help themselves to everything they still ask before taking an orange out the fruit bowl!)

On the other hand maybe we just buy a two bedroom house

Probably won't be checking in for next couple of days - working tomorrow and hosting boxing day. Just wanted to wish you all a wonderful Christmas, and a healthy, happy new year.

Hello Everyone, I would like to wish you a merry Christmas - enjoy it, get some rest and take care of yourself and the baby bump. It's our last Christmas before tMay babies start to arrive in the next few months time

Wishing everyone a Happy Christmas!
DH felt the baby move 3-4 times this morning, he was so excited!

Afternoon ladies

Regarding family visitors - Didn't really have much of a choice with in-laws and hubby's siblings, as he's from quite a large family so they all pretty much came over during the first few days (his parents and one of his brothers visited us in the hospital hours after I had given birth). My parents came over a week or so after the birth and spent a week with us, in our house. NEVER AGAIN! I love my parents but it was the most stressful experience and definitely won't be letting it happen baby no 2 arrives. As we don't live in London (where my parents live) my parents seem to think that it is impossible to survive outside the M25 so kept on worrying about the littlest thing so hubby and I ended up having to look after them alongside a newborn baby!

Would definitely recommend having relatives visit just for a few hours and if they are wanting to stay overnight then offer them a hotel to stay in.

Hope you all have a lovely Christmas.

Hi all
I'm new here and 19+2 - due 16 May.
Excited to have my 20w scan next week (29/12).
Nausea is worsening as is general stiffness and aches.
Does anyone know of any local (SE London/Greenwich) ante-natal Pilates or similar for a non fit 1st timer (mum and yoga)?!?
And when is the right time to be looking into antenatal classes? I think my hospital have them (St Thomas' in London) but I'm keen to go closer to home to meet some other local mums to be. Any advice?

Tea where are you based I think I'll be delivering in Greenwich

Hi Raspberry.
Plumstead, SE18. Where are you?

Teaspoon I'm in Crayford so just up the road. Family in Eltham too

Hi teaspoon - start looking for the class asap as some are popular. Look on nct website for your area

Happy Christmas guys! Hope you're having a good day! I came down with a D&V bug last night. Was up all night. Have had to stay home alone today while DH & DS have gone to family for Christmas dinner

Thanks Savage

Get well soon Fox!

And are you thinking of taking classes in Greenwich, Rasberry?

Merry Christmas guys!
*
Fox* that sucks feel better soon lovely!

Teaspoon I've signed on for classes in Wilmington