April 2017 #5 - second trimester! Less feeling crap, more feeling kicks

[Celen]

For all those lovelies expecting babies around April 2017

I have a friend who had an emergency c section with her first and second due in a few weeks is a planned home birth. So i think midwives and many consultants are pro vbacs unless there is a reason not to. How did your appointment go?

Hi puggle - I attempted a vbac last time but wasn't successful unfortunately. Had an emergency section with my first after going in with reduced movement. Spent most of pregnancy two agonising over whether to go for a vbac or elcs.

Decided eventually to give it a go, with an elcs booked in for eight days overdue for if it didn't happen naturally, as advised by the hospital. Most doctors and midwives I spoke to were very balanced and didn't push me one way or another, though that didn't help my indecision!

Went into labour four days overdue, early labour and contractions for eighty hours what no real progression, went into hospital on the third day of contractions and stayed in overnight hoping to move to delivery, but after no real progression through the night I eventually ended up having the booked section the next morning anyway.

I was disappointed but after no sleep for four days just relieved to get baby out! The problem was because I didn't labour the first time, it was pretty much a first labour, and they were very reluctant to anything to help me along to reduce risk to the scar.

I'm glad I tried, but the section was fine and I recovered well. The only thing I regret was spending so much time agonising over whether to have to have the section or not as it seemed to be all I thought about in the latter part of my pregnancy. I didn't really want a c section recovery with a two year old, and also if I'm honest felt a bit of pressure to try and have the experience of a vaginal birth. But it was all fine in the end and i was luckily back on my feet fairly quickly and driving, doing the nursery run etc by the time my dh went back to work after paternity leave.

This time I am having an elcs with no discussion and not a second thought, and am much more relaxed, and resigned to the fact it's not meant to be for me!

So my only advice really as a failed vbac-er is to try not to let the decision take over your pregnancy or worry too much about it, as long as they get here the method doesn't really matter!

Good luck deciding. I am looking forward this time to know what is going to happen and when all being well!

I'm hoping to have a VBAC puggle. I had an EMCS with DD and then a wound infection which made my recovery very long and difficult. But I've heard an ELCS is a much better experience than an EMCS and obviously the only way to totally avoid another and potentially worse experience than last time. But I feel like I missed out on key moments in DD's birth - not seeing or holding her first, not being able to have skin to skin and so on. And given I have a toddler now already I could really do with a better recovery and not staying in hospital for days! I have my appointment to discuss at the end of December.

Chat - do you feel an elcs is safer than a vbac then? The risk of uterine rupture is very very scary but I believe the risk is very small?

I'm in the same position puggle, after two emcs, the consultant I saw the other day is happy to to let me try for a vbac. Trouble is I'm not sure what I want now. The risk of rupture is around 1% and chanced of a successful vbac around 60% for me. Might just see what happens.

I have a skewed view - I work in NICU and so I see the disasters, not the norm. I think the risk is very low, but the result is catastrophic. Very much like GBS transmission - neonatal infection is uncommon but devastating (which is why I'm testing privately and having antibiotics in labour if positive). My view of statistics also isn't what many people's is. I've been through a stillbirth, which happens to around 1 in 240 families - to me that number is meaningless. Doesn't make a blind bit of difference if it's 10% or 0.0001% - it still happened to me. I don't look at the numbers, I look at the whole picture. Not helpful, I know - sorry!

So sorry about your stillbirth chat, hope you're OK and not too anxious about this pregnancy.

It was our anomaly scan today and very pleased to say that all is looking well. They don't want to see me again at the hospital until 39+3 which was a surprise due to my advanced years;-), but relieved also as all must be well.
Baby was being very shy and had its hands over its face and legs firmly together, so we're still team yellow!

Thanks for all the replies!

I had a very good appointment, the consultant was very compassionate and caring about what happened to DS. For those that done know I had undiagnosed Vasa Previa which ruptured when my waters broke at work. I had one of the quickest C Sections they've ever preformed but unfortunately it was still too late and we had to say goodbye to him after 5 day in NICU. (Btw chat you and your colleagues are amazing people, you have all my respect, admiration and gratitude)
When we got onto birth options and she asked me what I would like to do, my immediate answer was 'have a baby that's alive and well!' Basically that's the plan this time! She given me the green light to try for a VBAC. I'm very much 'we'll see what happens' so I feel like now I've been told I can try if I want to I feel happy. Personally I'd like to try and make this experience as different as possible from Ds's birth. I would love to just experience labour, which my sound odd to most but there were many things I missed out on last time, most of all getting a baby at the end of it!
It's still quite early anyway really a lot of things can happen in the next 20(ish) weeks! I'm just pleased of how supportive everyone was at the appointment yesterday (the midwives were all fussing over me as well)
Thanks for sharing your experience gorilla sounds like you made all the right choices and that's really good advice!
Still waiting for my 20 week scan! It's Saturday and I'll be 21 weeks, it's can not some soon enough!!

Am sure my advice not to think about it too much isn't really relevant when you have had a loss puggle, sorry. Can't even imagine what you and chat have been through and hoping for straightforward pregnancies and births for you both this time. Glad you had a good meeting puggle, sounds like you will be supported in whatever choice you make.

Gosh, I'm so sorry you lost your DS Puggle. You and Chat have really been through the mill! It must make pregnancy and birth so much more worrying!

Oh no, seriously gorilla it is! Baby's gotta come out one way or the other! It's just the condition it's in I'm worried about, but will do everything in my power to make sure it is safe and healthy!
A pregnancy after a loss is an interesting experience to say the least, in lucky to have a very supportive network of people around me to keep me going. One of my main worries at the moment is my DP. He refused any kind of help or counselling after DS died and still does. We had a small incident resulting in us going to MAU a few weeks ago and he didn't cope with it all very well at all! How is your DP coping with this pregnancy chat?

Urgh god just found out DH is being made redundant talk about awful timing. An added stress we could really do without...

puggle and chat can't begin to imagine what you guys have been through, wishing you both straightforward healthy pregnancies ahead

Oh no! Marmite how awful! Does he have much of a notice period? Is there much else out there in his field?

Unfortunately I know a few people who are facing redundancy. Why do they always do it st Christmas? It seems so heartless!

Sorry to hear of your losses puggle and chat, I can't imagine what you must have gone through.
My consultant has told me I am having a c section at 38 weeks. I went into labour at 35 weeks with DD and had a placenter abruption. I was lucky as I had lots of bleeding so it was obvious something was wrong, I dread to think what would have happened if I hadn't. And to be honest even if the consultant said I could try for vbac I don't think I would.
What a worry marmite such crappy timing!

Thanks Puggle. We do our best and we love it, as hard as it can be. Glad your appointment went well, a compassionate doctor can make a huge difference. Sorry to hear your DH is struggling. Mine is too I think, although in the other way - he's very detached, more business-like than anything else. I expect he's trying to protect himself. He's been very stressed at work, which I doubt is helping...

Marmite that sucks, I'm sorry. Does he work in an industry where there's likely to be something else available? Not nice to happen at this time of year, especially.

Thanks for all your kind words - this is easily one of the most stressful things I've done. Hopefully it will all be worth it.

Thanks guys. We're just waiting to find out whether he's in the 3 month or 12 month wave. Which means he could potentially be out of a job by February arrgh. He'll only get 3 and a half weeks redundancy pay as has only been there just over a year, but is on 6 months notice at least so I reckon they might just pay that out. It's just such a worry, he's the much bigger earner in our house and we've just started doing all this work in the house, going on holiday next week etc. The problem is there's going to be a fairly large number of qualified professionals looking for very similar jobs in a fairly limited job market location all at once. I hate that all the good jobs re down south

How stressful for you marmite. Would he start looking for something else now to try and beat the rush as it were? DH was out of work for about 5 months in my last pregnancy which was very stressful but all worked out fine in the end.

Puggle and chat - I can't imagine the extra worry you must both be feeling. Wishing you booth a smooth ride the rest of the way!

I had my 20 week scan today which all went well. We have known we are team blue for a few weeks though! It was lovely to see him again!

Scan went well, team yellow for us.

Great clear photo RaRa

Do you have any inkling of whether it's a boy or girl?

No topkitty I'm rubbish with stuff like that, keep changing my mind!

We found out the sex of ours. I had thought it might have been a boy (not sure why) but she's a girl. We're really pleased, we wouldn't have minded either way.

The redundancy sounds v stressful, I hope it get sorted soon!

For the last two days I've had such pressure on my lower abdomen, the baby I've always felt quite low which I think is normal but it's just really pushing on my bladder & I feel like I want to physically carry my belly around with me to relief the pressure! I'm only 22+6 I hope it won't be like this the whole time.

Rara that is a lovely scan pic, the little upturned nose is so cute!!

I'm on the wine tonight!
Ok, it's alcohol free wine but it's a pretty good substitute.

I've tried a few over the years and this is the best. It's the Carl Jung sparkling Chardonnay. I've got a bottle of the sparkling rose that I'll save for Christmas.

I just thought I'd share in case anyone else was missing a tipple...

That sounds promising, TopKitty. I've always thought a winemaker could make an absolute fortune if they could capture that beautiful taste of a crisp dry white but remove the alcohol.

Thanks guys, we've managed to absorb the news now a bit and while it's far from ideal, at least DH is on a decent notice period. Could just do without the upheaval and change really, there's enough change coming up already! - plus he really likes his job so it's bit crap.

Still, we're off on our 'babymoon' tomorrow, looking forward to finally having some down time together!

Congrats Rara lovely scan pic!

Ooh Kittykat that sounds intriguing. I've tried a few but they were all really sweet and just tastes like schloer which isn't really my thing. Is that one any more 'wine-like'? Where did you get it?

We went to the Christmas markets with some friends last night and I had to make do with the alcohol free gluwein - was basically a very expensive hot ribena haha