Babies due in November 2016 #2

[FuzzyOwl]

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Oh that's sounds horrible, Fedup! Glad your husband is taking care of it.

Almond, yes I think we'll be able to tell our friends in the States. Having an early scan before we go for this reason... we're staying in their house and I imagine there'll be lots of dinners out so I didn't want to be stressing about refusing drinks/possibly daily vomiting for no apparent reason!

LittleGrey yes I am constantly cold! I need huge jumpers/blankets/the fire on at all times, even in the middle of the day.

Yep, was pretty grim. Nice to have some relief from the nausea though!

Your trip sounds fab Copper

Im also constantly cold too, just cannot get warm so lots of layers and blankets are being used my end.

Chat everything crossed for you, hope you can take it as easy as possible.

I really really want bitter lemonade now. We had Chinese tonight I ordered a whole load of starters as I just wanted to eat those.

Hope everyone has a calm and relaxing evening.

Copper & Fedup, I'm the opposite, I'm normally really cold, but since I fell pregnant my body temperature has been higher than it normally is, and I'm really warm.

Oh Fedup how awful! I know feeling ill can be reassuring but I don't think your body needed to go to that extreme. Good job your DH is taking care of it.

Yes LittleGrey I am tucked up in bed, under the duvet with pyjamas and a big hoodie on as well as thick winter socks. Still cold.

Sad news here. I ate the last of the Maltesers yesterday and have now run out. It's pouring with rain and I am not budging from my bed, and I don't think you can order them online to be delivered within the hour. Obviously I will stock up all of my supplies tomorrow but in the meantime, I don't have anything chocolatey in the house because I ate all the Easter eggs as well.

Morning all.

Woke up and had my first ever nosebleed. Totally weird, assume it is stress related rather than a ph symptom.

I am so tired and today I am on the go from 8am - 10 pm non stop.

Lots going on with work this week and have to squeeze it into 4 days as going on holiday on Friday.

Hope everyone has some nap time today x

Good morning Albus, nosebleeds were a pregnancy symptom for me when I had my older DC.

I've just realised all the early pregnancy symptoms I've looked for during the tww actually happen after you know for sure you're pregnant.

I've had the most restless sleep and am knackered.

Sorry, long post coming!
So I'm maybe having a bit of a fight with DH... We don't normally disagree or argue so I don't really know what's happening, weird as that might sound.
After he cooked really stinky garlic chicken last night, I spent the evening covering my nose with a blanket until I couldn't do it any more and ran upstairs to be sick. He's not been in the house and witnessed the puking yet although I have told him he needs to wash up each night as that's when I normally throw up with the smell of his dinner from the night before. So I'm upstairs puking, then go get ready for bed and climb under the duvet (the smell was throughout our whole house). He comes upstairs casually about 30 mins later to come to bed and doesn't say much. I made an offhand comment about 'I'm fine, thanks for asking and coming up to help' to which he stomped off downstairs to wash up. Obviously, being a hormonal wreck, I cried a lot but stopped when he came back up. I apologised for moaning at him and asked if we could tell my parents after our early scan today and he said he thought the plan was to wait until Friday after the midwives appointment. I tried to say I just wanted to talk to my mum as I'm finding it all really hard but struggled to say it without falling apart. He said 'well, it's up to you' in a way that meant he really didn't want to.
This morning, I asked if he was ok when he got up and he said yes but didn't ask me. Didn't say anything else all morning aside from 'the scans at 7 right?' Before saying bye, giving me a quick kiss and leaving.

Now I don't know how much this is hormones but I'm starting to freak out that he doesn't actually want to have a baby yet. I've always been obsessed and he's gone along with it. Maybe he's just scared? But he doesn't ever bring it up in conversation or ask how I am. I assumed it was just him being nervous as we found out so early. But we agreed not to tell anyone until 8 weeks so it could be our little secret. Except it's not this lovely little secret. It's me feeling like crap, not being able to talk to anyone, having to constantly lie to my family and friends, constantly worrying somethings going to go wrong or if I'm coping with symptoms ok. It's literally been the loneliest and hardest 4 weeks of my life. I haven't said any of this to him because I don't want to pressure him. I mention the baby a few times a day and try to give him updates on things from my app or whatever but I just want him to be excited more than anything. Or ask how I am sometimes! I'm so worried about this early scan today but he clearly doesn't want to talk about it. I'm guessing when he sees the heartbeat, he'll show a bit more emotion and the realisation will sink in a bit. At the moment, I'm just a hormonal, temperamental, lazy person who refuses to eat dinner. But I don't know what to do if he doesn't get excited and I'm really scared to have this whole conversation with him as whether he likes it or not, we made the decision to have this baby and it's happening.
We're normally really close and I just feel lost that I can't open up to him for fear of scaring him off or making him nervous or whatever. I knew that babies tested relationships but I thought that was more once they were born! How are everyone else's partners doing? Are they being more supportive??

DP wasn't visibly excited about our baby till we had the scan last Friday. Then it sort of opened a floodgate of emotion, he's been trying not to get too carried away due to our previous losses but Friday made it real for both of us.

After the scan, tell him how you're feeling and ask him as courtesy not to leave dishes lying around as you currently have super smell and open all windows whilst cooking. Hope the nausea ears for you, you can go to GP for help for morning sickness.

Good morning all! I have just successfully dropped DS off at nursery - it's only his third day but he went right in and was so busy playing with a helicopter he didn't really notice me going! I'm now back in bed snuggled in my duvet wondering how lazing it is to nap at 9am.

Not sure if it helps (because we'll all worry with or without symptoms) but the NHS morning sickness page points out that only 80% or nauseous and only 50% of women are actually sick. I think on MN because it's such a great place for support there are a higher proportion of women who have extreme symptoms. If I hadn't been so sick last time and needed support from ppl in the same boat I probably wouldn't have joined. Not that that will make the worry stop - we'll all be worrying just as much in 18yrs about uni choices and them moving out!

jam I think it's hard to remember that even though pregnancy is happening to us it affects our partners just as much. All the things you're worrying about are also worrying him (but without the physically symptoms), plus he has to look after you. I know my DH felt a huge burden of responsibility when I was pg and got really worried about not just the baby part but all the financial responsibilities and having to be a real grown up finally (even though he was 29 and grown up all ready!). Could you maybe download him a pregnancy app? There are some just for fathers, it might help him start to connect more than just being told that the baby is now the size of a strawberry etc. It help my DH a lot. Hope things get better and he pulls his socks up, and at least starts to explain how he feels. Maybe staying away from garlic would help too..

nightmare weekend. I had a big bleed on Saturday and spent most of the afternoon and evening in a&e. They were really nice but couldn't really give me an answers. All my blood tests came back normal. I've got a scan booked on Wednesday morning.

Began to feel quietly hopeful as on Sunday I just had spots and pink CM but this morning the bleeding is back. I've only had one small clot but I know it can't be good.

I'm at work as I think it will be better than moping at home. Just feel so helpless. Part of me can't wait until Wednesday as at least I'll know but part of me is dreading it. I'm preparing myself for the long silence when they look for a heartbeat and find nothing. I just wish this wasn't happening

Jam, I really think him seeing the baby on the scan will help....my DH was happy but didn't say much, when he saw the heart beat his face lit up! He's been a lot more interested since. I recommend getting the pregnancy for men book too, DH seems to be really enjoying it. I think it's hard for them to visualise it until they can see evidence of it.

Jamjar you poor love :( sending you big hugs. My DH is as high as a kite over this pregnancy, but it's an ivf pregnancy that's taken years. I remember our first pregnancy nearly 6 years ago. He wasn't really excited. I think you should give your DP a kick up the bum. Constant nausea is bloody hard. And then the puking. And the hormones. Not to mention the 24/7 worry about the baby's development.

Sh1t nights sleep here too! Need to walk the dog before work. Still in my pj's

How many weeks are you theantsaremyfriends? If it's any consolation or comfort to you, I bled heavily at 5 weeks and bled/spotted on weeks 6/7/8. Didn't bleed week 9 but now in week 10 I've had more spotting twice

theants - bless you poor thing. No shame in going home if you need to, but sending you my best thoughts and hope all will be well.

thank you beelze thats reassuring and gives me a bit of hope. I'm 9 weeks. Was just beginning to feel I might be out of the danger zone.

albus my DP is on alert to pick me up if it gets worse. I think if I stay at home I'll spend the whole time working myself up into a state. Luckily I'm on my own in my office today so I can get away with having a little cry every so often.

Thanks ladies, that was just what I needed :) I know it's hard for the men as its all happening to us and they're just kind of bystanders for this first part. Hopefully after today he'll feel a bit more involved. I'm not asking for a lot, I'm normally pretty good at just getting on with stuff if I'm unwell so maybe I'm doing a better job of hiding it than I thought. It would just be nice to be asked how I am once a day or have him do a bit of housework or offer me a glass of water or something lol.
I'll see how tonight goes and then if he's still distant tomorrow, I'll have a chat with him. He's very quiet normally and doesn't really do sensitivity very well- We were together for 8 years before he proposed and I sort of pressured him into it (alongside all our friends and family lol). But when he proposed, he cried as he did it and then was really emotional on our wedding day too. He still talks about how much he enjoyed it and how it was the best day of our lives, whereas I worried that he would have hated being in a spotlight and having to perform a bit for others. He surprised me then, so if I'm being rational, the same thing is probably happening now and I'm just finding something extra to worry about lol.

Update though- I've just got out of bed and the house still bloody stinks! Open windows so I'm freezing my butt off and Yankee candles all the way!

Oh ants, that sounds awful :( Sending you big hugs. I have everything crossed for you for Wednesday. I've been worrying so much early on and waiting to get to 9/10 weeks as that feels like a much safer place so I totally understand why you're feeling so crappy that you're not out of the woods. Maybe take a positive from them not being able to give you answers? I don't know what to advise you but I'm thinking of you :(

Take care of yourself.

Oh ants I'm thinking of you, hopefully it will be totally fine as someone else said. Did you have a scan while you were in a+e or just bloods? Wednesday will come quickly for you.

Jam my DH hasn't been very understanding so far, he has the same app as me but turns out he was only reading the bit about the baby not the bit about what was happening to me! I still think sometimes in using it as an excuse not to cook dinner/go out etc but actually I'm just struggling.

i think biniting on our bed last night might have helped him understand just how fragile I'm feeling!

Sorry on my phone! I think he thinks I'm using it as an excuse. And vomiting not biniting whatever that is!

I downloaded the Who's your Daddy app to see what it's like- looks good! It has a great bit saying something like, her boobs will be growing but they're probably going to be sore and a no go zone, haha. It also says to be really careful what you cook in case it sets off morning sickness! I'm going to ask DH to download it after the scan tonight.

Ants I'm so sorry you've had such a worrying weekend. I hope the bleeding eases up and you have positive news at the scan on Wednesday. Thinking of you.

Nose bleeds were an unfortunate lunate pregnancy symptom for me last time Albus although I think they waited until the second trimester.

Oh Jam. Sending you a hug. Pregnancy is really tough and it is something we are aware of all the time; we generally feel ill, are constantly worrying and our hormones are out of control. My DH genuinely just keeps forgetting I am pregnant and was the same last time. I think it is something that we can't forget but they don't have the constant reminders and worry that we do, and they definitely don't have the heightened smell! I had a chat with my DH last time and then every so often I would just say "have you forgotten that I am pregnant again?" and he would say "absolutely" and laugh like when he suggested we walked up several hundred dodgy steps to get to the roof of a church in Italy when I was six months pregnant and had sciatica. At the same time, he is probably worrying about the baby and about you. It sounds like he tends to bottle his emotions up, so this is probably a difficult time for him.

Oh Ants I have everything crossed for you and really hope that everything is ok. For whatever reason, lots of women do bleed during pregnancy and go on to have healthy babies. Is your scan with your EPU? If not, can they see you sooner?

Oh jam you poor thing. That sounds miserable. If it helps you feel better about the crying, I cried this morning because my builder is late ringing me back about a quote for my bathroom.

I think the other ladies are right about how difficult it is for the men to understand the physical and mental toll on us these first few months. My DH has signed up for the weekly NHS email that says how baby is and how I am doing and what he might do to help; will suggest that dad app too.
Although the onus should be on the partner to be being supportive, I have found that DH really likes me saying when I have a micron of energy to do something that pre-preggo me might have done.
Yesterday we went to an exhibition though I was slurping Lucozade the whole time and sitting down every five minutes, but the feeling of doing something a bit normal made him really happy. Perhaps doing something together that you really enjoy/have the energy for would open a good space for a chat about how you're feeling?