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Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

Original poster

The rainbow cave - where we can remember our angels and pray for our rainbow.

510 replies

3littlebadgers · 20/01/2016 07:30

Hello ladies, the other thread was full, so welcome to the rainbow cave. A place where we can hide away together as we remember our beautiful angel babies, and pray for our tiny rainbows.

Introducing myself and my babies for anyone new,

Name: 3littlebadgers
Angel: DD2, Azra stillborn at 40+5 March 2015
Rainbow: badger boy currently 36+1
Other DCs: ds1, ds2, dd1

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OwlinaTree · 25/01/2016 20:50

Congratulations 3. I'm sitting here with a tear in my eye. What a gorgeous boy.

So glad he has brought the joy back to you and your family.

LakeOfDreams · 25/01/2016 22:02

Oh 3 he's absolutely perfect. Congratulations our rainbow gang is getting big now. Xx

Original poster
3littlebadgers · 26/01/2016 08:17

Good luck today kitty Flowers

Hope the day is kind to you all x

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KittyandTeal · 26/01/2016 11:39

Well my booking appointment went well, the MW was lovely. The student had 3 goes at taking my blood bless her and still didn't manage so I resemble a bit of a pin cushion bit I don't mind.

I've got my luminous green sands sticker.

hopinghopefullyagain · 26/01/2016 19:35

So glad that it went well. Luminous green sounds just the job, I'll be asking for one of those

KittyandTeal · 26/01/2016 20:09

Yeah, my ex counsellor/specialist midwife has put one on all my medical notes at the hospital but it's good to have one on my notes too.

I got through the whole thing without a tear, even joked when the student asked if I wanted her to explain the consequences of trisomies, she said 'you probably know more than I do' which is probably true.

I had a little blub when they put they sands sticker on though with dd2s name and dob.

Original poster
3littlebadgers · 26/01/2016 20:48

Oh kitty so glad it went well for you. You sound so strong. I found that details of Azra on the sands sticker emotional too. I clung to them with pride whenever I was waiting for my appointments. Almost like a mother holding a picture of her child. You are one more milestone closer to meeting your rainbow Smile

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Chottie · 30/01/2016 06:19

Hello everyone I hope I'm not gatecrashing, but I just wanted to say welcome to the world little Baby Badger :) that's fantastic news and kitty sending you lots of PVs too.

I don't often post here now, but I'll never forget the support from you all when my DD was expecting her rainbow :) You were all so kind and understanding. My little rainbow DGS is now 1 year old and he has brought joy and sunshine into all our lives.

Thanks
hopinghopefullyagain · 30/01/2016 12:34

Morning all, hope that everyone is ok on this sunny Saturday morning. Last night I dreamed that this baby was born and was a boy. That's what I suspect so time will tell. Feeling super sick today which I'm kind of glad about

KittyandTeal · 31/01/2016 11:36

Morning all. Hope everyone is feeling ok. I went out to a party last night and had a lovely time but after getting in at 1am in shattered!

I have my first scan tmrw, and despite having normal pregnancy symptoms I'm utterly convinced they won't find a live baby. Less than 24 hours to wait now and I'm trying to not think about it

Original poster
3littlebadgers · 31/01/2016 12:53

Hello Chottie, I am glad you popped back in to see us all. Wow 1 year old alread, there is light at the end of the tunnel, for us all Smile

Hopefully, funny how things like sickness are what we hope for. Anything if it means our rainbows are healthy. Will you find out if baby hopeful is a girl or boy at your 20 week scan?

Kitty, the best of luck for tomorrow. Don't read too much into your fears, I know easier said than done, but after what we have been through doubting that there will be a positive outcome is so natural. I know every single scan with baby badger boy has me in bits.

Hope the weekend is being kind to you all and that the week ahead will zoom by Flowers

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hopinghopefullyagain · 31/01/2016 17:41

Good luck tomorrow Kitty, our scan is on Wednesday and I'm convinced they will say there is no baby. I keep thinking about mmc and yolk sacs and goodness knows what else.
Badgers I'm not sure whether we will find out the gender or not tbh. With our first dd, I was determined not to but then ended up doing in the midst of all the medical stuff. I'm convinced that this baby is a boy, I guess we will decide nearer to. Badgers how are you and your lovely boy?

KittyandTeal · 31/01/2016 17:54

Hopefully we are so close together in all of this. I'm utterly convinced it'll be not live baby or (somehow worse) a baby measuring way behind dates. This was the first inkling we had that something wasn't right with dd2, she was 2 days behind my accurate dates at 12 week scan. Dd1 had been measuring big at that stage.

We've decided to find out sex with each of our DC and we will this time too. Hopefully we'll know at 12 weeks after the harmony test, if we get that far.

I'm glad I'm not the only one freaking out about what people keep telling me is a very mundane scan. I know they won't be able to tell if there are any anomolies but it's still a 'yes your baby is alive and is about right for the dates' scan.

hopinghopefullyagain · 31/01/2016 18:46

Kitty you are so right about the date thing, I've had something at the back of my mind but not been able to put my finger on it and that's it! What time is your appointment? Mine isn't until 4 and I know they will be running behind by then. I've asked for the follow up for dd1 to be done before the scan. I know that if the scan was first and didn't go well, dd1 wouldn't get the appointment that she deserved. If only nausea was a guarantee that all was well, I'd be home and dry. I'm going to ask about harmony but it's never been mentioned and I suspect we will have to pay. Hope that you have a peaceful night and I'll be thinking of you tomorrow

KittyandTeal · 01/02/2016 08:05

Scans at 10 so not long to wait and hopefully they won't be too far behind by then. My specialist midwife is meeting us before hand too.

Good plan about dd1s appointment beforehand. At least you can focus on that properly before the scan.

We're having to pay privately for the harmony test, they don't offer it on the trust I'm under. I can't get to 20 weeks though. I don't fully trust the 12 week bloods now as I can out low risk despite my Papp a being so low. I had no idea until a soft marker was picked up at the anomoly scan.

I know the harmony doesn't rule out all problems but it will help me relax a little bit. We're doing the £400 package at the fmc, 10 week scan, harmony test, 12 weeks scan and amnio or cvs if results are high risk. I worked an extra day a week all last term so my extra pay is paying for it, thank goodness!

KittyandTeal · 01/02/2016 11:42

Scan went well. One baby measuring exactly right for dates.

The sonographer knew my history and was lovely. I had a bit of a wobble going in and had a cry but after that I was fine :)

She said they might readjust the dates at my 12 week scan as that's more accurate but atm I'm just happy there is a live (and I'm presuming so far healthy, although we won't know for sure for a while) baby.

anais2403 · 01/02/2016 14:29

Hi everyone

Thank you to those who pointed me in the direction of this group.

Angel: Sophie, died when she was 17months old in December 2014. She was so perfect, so fun, so smart, so gorgeous.
Rainbow: currently a dot, if all goes well, I'm due in October.
No other DCs.
Stress levels: sky high.

First trimester stress: what if this pregnancy doesn't survive.
Second / third trimester stress: what is the baby has a problem or the same health problem Sophie had (a heart defect)
Forever stress: what if we loose another child, how will I ever cope?

It's nice that people on this thread are about to have their babies. I much prefer this than being in a group with people due at the same time as me but don't know this anxiety....

Sending lots of love x

KittyandTeal · 01/02/2016 15:24

I'm glad you found us here. I think lots of us understand all that stress, especially finding out there might be something wrong with the baby.

Sophie is a beautiful name btw 💐

hopinghopefullyagain · 01/02/2016 19:13

Kitty that's brilliant news I'm so so glad. The first hurdle is overcome. Hopefully you can relax a bit now. Well until the 10 week scan at any rate ☺
Anais - welcome! Glad that you found us. I think we are all in agreement about the sky high stress levels and it's nice to be able to share them. Sophie is a beautiful name. You must miss her so much. I hope that you are well looked after during your pregnancy.

KittyandTeal · 01/02/2016 19:29

Thank you hopefully, I'm actually feeling a bit positive for the first time since finding out. I'm even partly looking forward to our 10 week scan.

OwlinaTree · 01/02/2016 20:14

Glad the scan went well kitty, that's great news.

Welcome anais, hope you are feeling OK. Can't believe what you must have been though.

All well here, got my scan on Friday morning, feeling less pg than I did last week which is working me, although boobs are still enormous and painful which is probably a good sign.

KittyandTeal · 01/02/2016 20:18

Owlina good luck for fri. What scan is it?

My symptoms have started to ease off over the past few days (although same with the boobs) the mw assured me that it was the placenta starting to take over.

OwlinaTree · 01/02/2016 20:45

I'm 12 weeks tomorrow, so the dating scan on Friday.

KittyandTeal · 02/02/2016 07:41

Good luck. How are you feeling about it all?

Original poster
3littlebadgers · 02/02/2016 13:18

Hi ladies, and welcome anais. So many scans happening. Kitty I am so pleased yours went well another hurdle down. Hopefully and Owlina I hope yours go well too.

All is well here, badger boy is still tiny but I am sure is a little longer, or at least more stretched out. He is very sweet and a delight to be getting up with in the night, he beats flashbacks hands down Smile. My anxiety is creeping back in with him. I woke up the other night and was convinced he had died. In the dark he looked so like Azra and his little cheek felt cold. He is a little jaundiced and still hasn't done a yellow poo which is worrying me too, but the midwife said he is perfectly healthy. Still though I really wish he'd do a poo soon. He has passed muconium but that seems to have stopped now, and he is feeding well and doing pleanty of wet nappies.

Haquoi hope all is well with you Flowers

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