May 2016 babies - thread 2!

[GrouchyKiwi]

First trimester worries and joys. Test taking, morning sickness, midwife appointments and scans. It's all happening.

Can't believe we filled up a thread already. (I'll get this deleted if someone's already created a second thread, but I didn't see one!

fluffy, yes my friend is really happy now, and she has a lovely DS. Even though she found pregnancy really tough she says it hasn't put her off trying again for a sibling.

Mollie great that you saw a strong heartbeat. As others have said, try not to worry, I know it's really hard though. When is your next scan? If it helps I got my BFP 8 days after I ovulated.

greyhorses and icant, sorry you're having such a hard time. Fingers crossed that you both start to feel better soon.

dorothea hope you don't mind me throwing my 2 cents in here! I had a miscarriage in June and even though it was really sad, I honestly still felt happy for others when I found out they were pregnant. So I bet your DH's cousin will still be pleased for you even though it might be bittersweet for her. A lot of people say telling face to face is better but personally I found it much harder to take pregnancy news via email/text/through a third party so maybe think about whether she's more that kind of girl.

Thanks, 29. I really appreciate your perspective. She and I aren't really in direct contact. I assume news will spread to her so she'll probably hear it from her mum or sister. I just feel awkward because we'll be there for Christmas and I'd hate to sour it for her.

The Christmas before last we blithely announced our first pregnancy at 9 weeks, after an early scan, unaware that DH's other cousin (her sister) had recently lost a baby. Awful, but no one had told us. She's since had a baby which helps but now here we are again

I know we're so lucky to have ad such an easy run so far.

Sorry to hear you are feeling so unwell grey and icant.

How lovely to finally share your news dorothea. 1 week tomorrow for me!

Sorry your scan didn't give you the reassurance you were after mollie but at this stage I'm pretty sure heArtbeats trump measurements. This is why the nhs don't routinely scan before 12wks. It can sometimes cause more worry than it stops.

Hope everyone had nice weekends. I had a very rare child free lunch with some friends yesterday which was lovely and then spent today with DS and DH. Perfect. well it would have been if I could have thrown in a wine or two .

Hi everyone. Hope you all had a nice wkend. Sorry to those feeling very unwell particularly Icant and Grey. I hope things improve very soon.

I have had a nice wkend with DH and got my flu jab sat so glad that's out the way. We also (tmi) dtd for the first time since getting pregnant and it was so nice to regain that connection. Just felt like we were inseparable the rest of the day and very emotionally connected. It has def helped the preggo rage! Haha! I love him again hahaha!

Another Monday! Booooo!!!! :( but scan on Thursday to look forward to :)

Hope you all have a nice day or if working that it goes in quickly!!

Good Morning everyone – I hope you all had a lovely weekend and the Monday morning Blues aren’t too bad!

My Boyfriend and I have been moving all of my things into his house (we both rent houses 1/4 of a mile away from each other as I’ve always been so independent) as I’m moving in with him – we’re also house hunting and this morning put an offer in on a house! I’m actually excited about the idea of owning a house and being able to do gardening and more importantly…. Get more Persian cats! I then felt guilty that I can obviously conjure up excitement for house and cat ownership, but the pregnancy is a big mental block.

However – On a positive note, I’m doing OK and despite it being Monday morning, things are quite chilled in my head at the moment and I’ve not (yet) started taking the tablets. If I do start feeling down again, then I will as I appreciate they’re not evil, however I’m reluctant to take them unless I really, really have to. Despite not looking forward to the blood test on Friday, I am looking forward to my Scan as I want to know what’s happening inside – it’s almost as if it’s ‘crunch time’ – If everything is OK or not.

I had the weirdest nightmares last night, one was about burglars coming into my house and stealing my things and the other was about driving in a car with my Boyfriend and me having a miscarriage in the service station, it felt really real and I actually surprised myself as to how upset I was about it. I don’t know if nightmares are ‘normal’, however it’s the first one I’ve had and hopefully the last for a while as it was quite upsetting!

Southy Thank you for your kind words, I think a lot of people just don’t know how to react and that’s perfectly understandable. Usually it’s a case of ‘I’m pregnant, Yay!’ – everyone else says ‘Congratulations’, so when something deviates from that, people tend to not want to upset you, so it’s more of a case of ‘??????’ . I struggle massively with things changing (I have no idea if I’m on the autistic spectrum as never been diagnosed, but I wouldn’t be surprised, not that a label matters!) so feeling my body changing with the stomach cramps, the mood swings and lately, my nipples becoming bigger and darker (that was not a fun discovery in the shower) makes me very upset, however at the moment, I’m coping with it OK .

Vicky The Dr did actually suggest the local pregnancy crisis line which deals with everything. I did try and phone them 3 times on Friday but sadly they were engaged or not answering. Thankfully I have already got a counsellor and she and I are talking through things which has been a massive help. I’m sorry to hear you’ve also been struggling. Is it along the same kind of lines or does your anxiety manifest itself in different ways? I hope you’re feeling OK today.

Dorethea Thank you for your post – I really hope I can ‘get through this’ and come out the other side as a very happy and ‘good’ Mother. I don’t think the next 7 months are going to be enjoyable for me, personally, however I’m very lucky to have so much support in friends, family and my partner (and the lovely women on MN).

Mollie Thanks I hope everything is going well for you! It’s great that you’re telling everyone, was everyone really happy for you and excited? The fact you’re worried about his Cousin shows how lovely you are. It must have been a massive relief seeing a really strong heartbeat

Ican’t How are you feeling today?

29shoes Lovely to hear your friend got through it and is enjoying her lovely son – it’s also interesting to hear she will try for another! The way I feel at the moment, it will be such an achievement to have one child, I don’t know about another, however that’s way in the future

Mama I’m hoping to DTD with my Boyfriend this weekend (nothing like planning) Oddly, we’ve not ‘ahem’ since the day I fell pregnant and since I found out, I’ve not felt in the mood at all! (I think it’s a case of me subconsciously ‘blaming him’ for me being in this position which is totally unfair) I’m hoping to get the scan out of the way and then chill out at the weekend, not pressure myself and fingers crossed!

Sorry for long post – I tend to waffle

Fluffy It’s good that you have a counsellor, I think talking things through with a professional is really useful for putting your mind at ease about certain things. I’m similar with not feeling happy, I worry a lot and get very anxious, I’m one of those people who always assume the worst will happen in every situation. I’m really swinging between looking at baby names and being excited, and then thinking “what’s the point, I’m going to go to the scan and it will be a MMC, baby is probably dead don’t get your hopes up stupid” which is getting me down. Luckily my husband is the complete opposite, always sees the positive and won’t worry about anything until there’s a real possibility of something happening rather than just “well it’s probably going to be the worst outcome because I’m a big grey raincloud” like me so that helps (but is also sometimes frustrating because he doesn’t understand why I think like this I think). I do have an long history with anxiety and I get awful depersonalisation which has been creeping in recently. It also makes me agoraphobic (at my worst I didn’t leave the house for nearly six months apart from to go to the doctors/be hospitalised for a while) and I’ve noticed that happening recently which I really want to nip in the bud because I can only imagine that would get worse once the baby is here if I don’t manage it. I think bleeding/spotting from weeks 3-9 has compounded this, although now it’s stopped I’m just as worried as to WHY it’s stopped and think that’s an issue now which is completely illogical! I’m hoping that maybe once I have a proper bump and can feel the baby moving this will get better because at the moment it’s in my body but I can’t FEEL it so I feel a bit funny about it, sometimes I get a bit creeped out thinking about it.

And thank you Dorothea and Mollie- and yay for heartbeats!)

SeaSand Well done on giving up smoking, I gave up a few years ago and it was SO HARD. I can only imagine it’s more difficult when you’ve got pregnancy symptoms as well!

greyhorses I hope you feel better soon!

I had a flu jab on Saturday, and I have a really big painful bump where the injection was, weird!

Vicky I’ve been really lucky with my counsellor. I found her privately online and just pay for the sessions as it meant I could start 1 week after finding her, rather than waiting for any referrals or anything – she’s certified in the ‘normal’ counselling things (I’m very paranoid about people actually being competent at stuff so did some internet stalking to check out her credentials properly). The relief of not being judged in any way, shape or form is just brilliant and she does make me think of things in a different way.

Do you ever look / read statistics on MMC or anything like that? I imagine the statistics would suggest it won’t happen to you, however I appreciate that your brain might suggest that ‘You’ll be in the minority’ type thing? I appreciate that sometimes people can frustrate you – My Boyfriend is also incredibly up beat, very positive and laid back – as opposed to me who is very controlling / anxious and have to plan for everything.

The fact you realise something might not be ‘right’, does you massive amounts of credit and the fact you’re looking for support is great. You’re right about nipping things in the bud – that’s what I am trying to do. I really hope you manage to get really good help and feel less worried about things. One thing I’d love is for everyone on this thread to have healthy babies, for us to stay in touch and then this time next year, we could all read our old posts and say ‘Wow, I was so worried, but look, things turned out for the best!’

Thanks for the positive words, I'm sure it'll all be fine... but it seems that I'm just a bit ball of anxiety these days. I wouldn't have thought myself a particularly anxious person before. Luckily my DH is like several of yours- unflappable, and definitely not one to stress about things before he has to. He does a good job of keeping me positive. Hurray for all our partners keeping us all sane

We told my DH's sister and parents at the weekend as we'd had the scan. It was really strange! his sister commented that we didn't seem that happy about it, which was interesting- we're both not thinking of it as a sure thing until we've seen that everything is going well at the 12wk scan. All of our conversations at the moment are along the lines of "if we do end up having a baby...". It just doesn't seem that likely somehow! Clearly neither of us have processed it at all, and neither of us have got excited about it yet, we're still feeling slightly thrown by the whole thing I think. Vicky I feel the same about it not feeling quite real at the moment, hopefully having a bump and a baby wiggling around inside me will help me to process it a bit more. Even seeing the heartbeat just felt totally surreal- a bit strange that there's a little being with its own heartbeat actually growing inside me.

Oh also, can I have (another) little moan... I'm just so tired all the time! I felt exhausted at work today, I barely got through the day. is anyone starting to feel like they're getting through the other side of the tiredness? Some of you guys that are loads further along maybe? you can give me some hope! It's so tough, I just don't feel like that's a legitimate reason to stay off work, particularly because my manager doesn't know I'm pregnant yet, but it's really hard work at the moment.

Also Poster yep it'll be just you and me left in June at this rate, counting down the days (hours?!) till we have ours! Do you have another scan coming up? Sorry, I can't keep track of who's got scans when! 29 I won't have another one till my 12wk scan now, and I don't have an appointment yet. I think it gets sorted at my booking in which isn't till next week.

I feel tuckered out too. I did a 7hr day at work today and then had to nap afterwards. Dreading my 13hr days next week!

It's so reassuring to know other people are anxious too. I'm a worrier anyway so I knew I'd worry throughout this pregnancy but I feel like less of a freak now. I'm excited and pleased, but I can't help thinking that it will all go wrong. Went to Mothercare on impulse last weekend and almost cried after 2 minutes because I've somehow convinced myself that I won't get far enough to buy stuff. I'm hoping that feeling a kicking baby will help, but I'm also hoping a scan will make me feel better. Only 15 sleeps until my first scan!

Mollie and Poster I'm due 30th of May and I imagine that will change after my scan so I think I'll still be here with you guys in June!

Sorry to hear so many of you seem to be struggling.

mollie - I'm still struggling with tiredness but it seems to be improving (I'm 11 weeks). I'm not sure if I'm just tired as DS isn't sleeping too well at the moment though. I seem to remember it getting much better around 11/12 weeks last time.

I'm 12 weeks and still massively tired, not sure if it was the side effects from the flu jab but Ive felt absolutely rotten today. Only just made it through the day at work and really struggled. My manager doesn't know yet either but I m thinking I should tell her sooner rather than later as I'm not sure I will get through the week. Was hoping I'd feel better by now. It wasn't helped today by my manager saying that women should wait as long as possible to have kids as your life will never be the same again and basically that kids ruin your life! I had to sit there and bite my tongue.

I'm a massive worrier too and still can't believe it's real and there's a baby in there! Also I'm convinced that something will go wrong. My mum had pre - eclampsia with me and I was born 6 weeks early by c section so worried I'll get it too or something else would go wrong. I wish I wasnt such a negative thinker all the time. My DP bought a blood pressure monitor so I've been playing around with that this evening and all seems fine.

Frozen interesting you say that. I felt rotten all day too and struggled to get through work with overwhelming tiredness....i wonder if flu jab has something to do with it. I felt ok yesterday though just usual night time nausea and tiredness but today was horrid all day!

That's interesting Mama, I bet the flu jab is to blame! I felt ok yesterday, even managed a 3 mile walk but today has been awful and a real struggle! My nausea and tiredness is always worse in the evenings too but haven't felt this nauseaus and tired during the day for a while now. Was also feeling dizzy and light headed too, not pleasant!

mollie my next scan is Friday. I'm crossing everything that the baby has grown at all a bit faster and I've gained a few days back. I think if my scan due date is within a week of my lmp due date I'll be happy as I can see how that could work with late implantation/accuracy of measurements etc. At my last scan it was 11 days out.

I feel a bit nauseous in the evenings but I think that's because I take Cariban at bedtime and by the next evening it's wearing off. I've deliberately forgotten to take it tonight in the hope that I'll feel sick tomorrow and it'll reassure me. I had such horrible sickness with my first two that not really having any this time round is scaring me. I'm knackered too but that's because the DC keep waking up in the night with sore mouths from hfm disease. Zzz

Morning all. Fluffy you are sounding strong and in a better place, glad to hear from you and your updates.

I had my booking appointment yesterday, was very releived to have a lovely MW as with DS had an awful experience with a nasty, curt MW which ended with me in hysterics as she made me feel so crap, and am very anxious about seeing her again. But all great otherwise.

Then last night had worries as suddenly my boobs didn't feel quite as big/sore and my throat wasn't as sandpaper dry during night as it usually has been...can not wait for next scan/ 12 weeks to get here!!

Hi everyone, I've been lurking on here a lot but have convinced myself I won't curse anything by posting.
I'm 10 and a half weeks pregnant d/d 15th may. This is my first birth child as we have a beautiful adopted son who has been home for 16months.
We'd tried for a baby for 5 years even though I'd been diagnosed with unexplained infertility. We had fertility treatment that didn't work and so adopted our lovely son.

Needless to say this pregnancy is a massive suprise and hasn't sunk in for either of us.
I had spotting at 6weeks and a scan showed embryo with healthy flashing heart. Our next scan is 30th October. I'm hoping if everything is well this will make it seem more "real"

Morning Peas!

It's so nice to have a nice Midwife, isn't it? The one I've seen is so, so lovely... I've actually decided that I only want to see her as now I've got a 'rapport' with her and when I find a nice Medical person, I tend to stick to them like a limpet!

One thing that's really weird is that I haven't felt that tired or sick. I'm 100% pregnant (says the blood text, 3 pregnancy tests etc) but I've only dry wretched 3 times and have just found it harder to get up in the mornings. My social life is still as busy as ever and I was petrified that I'd have to scale it back..... Saturday I didn't go to sleep until 11:30pm and usually it's about 10:00pm-10:30pm. I did read that you feel 'total exhaustion which starts in your legs and creeps up your body' and that really stuck with me. However I don't have it . I know everyone is different - I've got massively tender boobs and my nipples are so painful all the time it's crazy.

Oh.. and all the stuff in my head, so I guess there are pros and cons to everything! I really hope your 12 week scan comes quickly peas, and you can relax lots!

Welcome delila - What lovely news Congratulations and welcome - The women here are so lovely - You're due one day after me! I hope the next 10 days are uneventful and boring for you and the scan goes well!

Hi I've been lurking as was too scared to jinx anything. Had my 12 week scan yesterday and all was well

I am 33 and this is dc2 (DS is 2.10) and I am due 1st May. Very excited as we have been trying for 2 years and had a bit of a torrid time getting here.

Lots to catch up on so off to read

Glad you are comfortable with your mw peas. I'm sure your symptom fluctuations are completely normal.

Welcome delia. Wow what a journey you have had! We have friends with unexplained infertility. They did end up having successful ivf on their last go but I know they have found it tough just not knowing why.

Hi Delia what a completely lovely story! Did you adopt your DS as a baby? My next scan is 29th October and also feel will relax a lot more if all goes well there.

AND I'M BACK!

Hello all - I am sadly back to real life after our belated Morrocan honeymoon and back in the UK, and indeed, back to work. Boo hoo. We had a wonderful time even though we were plagued with dodgy stomachs and illness (I think our digestive systems are only just beginning to settle...!).

I did have a scary upsetting moment where I began to doubt if baby would survive all the stomach upset but I'm feeling more positive now and with two weeks to go until our 12 week scan, I'm just counting down the days. I'm still VERY tempted to get a private scan this weekend - I'll be 11 weeks on Sunday. Is it silly to pay for a private scan this close to 12 week scan? Or shall I just go for it? My main reason is that I'd like to tell my two best friends our news next weekend but would rather have a positive scan to reassure me before telling them. One of my besties lives in Devon so I don't see her very often.

Sorry to hear so many people are feeling rotten at the moment - I share your pain!! I hadn't realised how much having lazy mornings on holiday had abated any morning sickness and right back into the nausea swing of things today back at work (or maybe I'm just allergic to work?!).

Fluffy - sounds like things are very exciting for you at the moment with house move and house purchase!!! HOW EXCITING! Sounds really positive and glad things are looking up for you. You're doing great!

I'll try and keep up a little better now that I'm back in the country and look forward to more lovely scan pictures and hopefully some reducing sickness.

Morning everyone and hello to the newcomers!

Toffee I paid for a private scan when I was 11 weeks and still had just over 2 weeks to go until the NHS one. It was definitely worth it! Being a bit further along you get to see much, and could see the baby moving and waving it's arms and legs. I did it for similar reasons as I had family visiting who live far away and I wanted to be able to tell them. It was great for peace of mind and meant that 2 week wait until the NHS one didn't seem so bad. I'm looking forward to seeing how much he/she has grown when I have the NHS one next week.

Ahh Frozen, that settles it then! Just sent off an email asking about availability at an early pregnancy scan place near us that's only £40. Bargain. I've heard good reviews too so should be good. Fingers crossed they have availability this weekend! AHHHHHH.

Ooo wow that is a bargain Toffee mine was £95! still worth it though! Hope you managed to get it booked in for the weekend.