May 2016 babies - thread 2!

[GrouchyKiwi]

First trimester worries and joys. Test taking, morning sickness, midwife appointments and scans. It's all happening.

Can't believe we filled up a thread already. (I'll get this deleted if someone's already created a second thread, but I didn't see one!

Although I'd really want to know if I was having a boy or girl I think I'm gonna wait for a surprise. I quite like the idea of dh telling me what it is once it's been delivered.

Definitely another surprise for us. Loved finding out on the day last time.

grey I'm sorry your DH is being crap. That must really suck. I'm actually a bit about these partners trying to muscle in on the symptoms as my DH does that and it's mega annoying. But no empathy at all is poor. Hope other people are taking better card if you.

Sorry to hear you have to wait so long for you scan too southy I cried when the appointment came through and I realised how long I'd have to wait!

I'm hating the lies too Dorothea I also just want to hibernate and had to cancel a work thing on Friday night. Then I get all the questions, whats wrong? Is it a virus? Is it a stomach bug? etc... etc...

It's not a good feeling seeing that date is it frozen :( I'm hoping my private scan this day will make me feel a bit more reassured, I hate wishing my life away but kinda would like to fast forward the next few weeks...

Sorry..... can't scrow on this phone.
No worries about toxoplasmosis but it is worth mentioning to the mw because it is their job to reassure and to check any needs that you might have.

I am only 6+3 and it feels so behind you all!!! I will have an early scan on Friday when I will be 7 weeks. Then I will breathe a little. My first appointment with the mw in only o the 21st so really far away.
We will want to know the sex on the 20 week scan. Because I only have boys things from #3.
The lady worrying about the pink meat. Itt happened to me as well. Don't worry it will be fine.
It always amazes that such a wondrous time ivour lives (being pregnant) is also so ,so very stressful!!! I am quite stressed with worries.
Have a great Monday!!!

Morning all, hope you are all ok.
Has anyone else's boobs gone rock solid to the touch?! Very bizarre.
I'm shattered, DS was up constantly during night on Sat, DH was on a stag do and then delayed coming home so basically was no help to us all weekend!! Than goodness for my mum though.

For those anxious about big gap to wait till 1st NHS scan around 12 weeks, this is the the cheapest private scan I've found so far- one in London-Mitcham and 1 in Birmingham, an early scan is just £45 compared to the £100+ mark I've seen with most others, hoping to get a scan @9 weeks this weekend...

www.peek-a-baby.co.uk

Ahh we can't decide whether to find out or not. We didn't with DS and although it was nice on the day I spent the whole second half of the pregnancy wishing I had found out. I kind of think the day itself is exciting enough in itself and pregnancy is so not exciting that it's nice to spread the excitement out a bit. Does that make sense?

We will definitely find out as I have no idea of girls names so will need time to think of something if its a girl!

Morning everyone. Hope you all had lovely weekends.

Mollie - I didn't realise you weren't supposed to eat rare steak (I tend to prefer mine blue) there's so much stuff that you learn when you're pregnant, I really don't think gardening is such a bad thing I'm sure that doesn't stop you worrying though! I'm currently cat sitting for my sister and just using gloves to change the cat litter.

Welcome Frozen .

I had a nice weekend with my friend who's 6.5 months pregnant. She still thinks it's 'weird' and 'freaky' and said she's still trying to get her head around it. It was really weird when her baby kicked her, I was fixated with watching her stomach. It was also nice to just be 'normal' with her - we did loads of walking around London and the fact she hadn't changed in the last 6.5 months was a real comfort to me - she's still mad, crazy and fun!

I am coming to the conclusion that a lot of my fears are because of the type of Mother my sister is - total martyr, 100% self sacrificing, 'Well of course when you have children, your life HAS to revolve around THEM' and hasn't had a social life for over 2.5 years. Speaking to my friend, she's already wanting to book a holiday with me next year saying 'Well, it's my Husbands baby as well so he can look after the kid for a couple of days whilst we enjoy ourself!'

I know she might change when she's given birth, but I really hope not - I also hope it's not one of those niave things that people say beforehand. 'It was only when I became a Mother I realised I couldn't go out every couple of weeks as I had responsibilities' type thing .

My symptoms have still 100% vanished so for the last 4 days I'm not feeling hormonal, no sickness at all, no sore boobs and no crampy pains. I've been googling 'missed miscarriages' and 'pregnancy no symptoms' but I guess I will just wait until Thursday to find out.

Based on all of my anxities and thoughts over the last few weeks, I think I'll be feeling wobbly no matte what the midwife says - I think I'll still feel relief if there isn't a heartbeat, however I also think I will feel sadness.

If there is a heartbeat, I think I'll feel a massive sense of panic, but also some relief.

I know there's no right / wrong way to feel - I hope everyone else is feeling OK and things are going well!

Hi lovely ladies, been lurking so want to mark my place if ok!

Me= 34, expected due date May 14 2016 so just over 8 weeks like many it seems. Been a bit of a rocky road getting to this stage so happy to finally "come out" into the open now!

Peas thanks v much for the link to the scan place, that looks so much cheaper than others I've seen.

Fluffy do you think this is really the right thread for you? As seems- sorry if I'm wrong- you're actually hoping not to be pregnant and felt sad to see you would feel relief at not seeing a heartbeat? Just that a lot of us seem so anxious about seeing a heartbeat and desperately want our babies, so its a bit sad reading your comments in comparison so not sure how can really empathise with your situation.

It's a bit hurtful you feel that it might not be the right thread for me starkers - I'm incredibly grateful to all of the women on here for being incredibly supportive over the last couple of weeks since I joined and have been 100% honest over my feelings / approach to being pregnant.

Causing someone upset is the last thing I would ever want to do - I feel enough like a freak at the moment for not being 'happy' and 'excited'. I'm totally willing to just wish everyone the best of luck and go to another thread until I've made up my mind as to what I want to do.

Congratulations on your pregnancy

Fluff please remember that we are so hormonal- so your feelings can’t be controlled, explained and are not often rational, so this pressure to feel constantly elated/on cloud 9 when pregnant is way over the top and is no way how most/all pregnant woman are feeling.

Pregnancy is a scary, confusing, adventure as is being a parent- but is so rewarding and totally puts your life on a new and exciting path!

I’ve been interested to see you've stayed on this thread- are you hoping you will start to get excited by hearing our stories? It is sad to hear you would feel relief at not seeing a heartbeat in every sense though…but I sure seeing it/not seeing it will help you on your way to making a decision.

Morning everyone!

Hope your private scan goes well southy I have been wondering about doing the same, but the cheapest one I can find around here is £85. I also worry that even if everything is ok on the day, I will soon find something else to worry and stress about!!

Sorry to hear you're having doubts fluffy. It is a massively scary and life-changing prospect and I have been a bit wobbly too. Even though it was very much planned, it was a case of me coming off the pill and seeing what happened, fully expecting it to take several months and have time to get used to the idea. Well it happened the first time we tried which was a bit of a shock! Don't underestimate how strongly the hormones can affect your feelings and emotions too, as well the general feeling grotty of the first trimester. I have had moments of thinking 'what the hell have we done?' and that I will be a rubbish mum or won't be able to cope if something bad happens. Hope you manage to come to the right decision for you.

Welcome newcomers. Have some and and make yourselves at home.

fluffy please don't put too much expectation on your friend after she has given birth. And don't be disappointed in her if she chooses not to go on holiday with you without her DH and baby or isn't out every weekend. I too didn't think my life would change half as much as it has. I am probably the 'martyr' you think your sister is. I have had less than 5 nights out since DS was born 16months ago. I've never spent a night away from him. Have missed my friends hen weekend. And the list goes on. I wouldn't have it any other way though. I appreciate not everyone is like that and that's fine, everyone feels ready to step back into their old life at different times. Tbh any friend that didn't understand that isn't a friend. Sorry if that sounds harsh and she may well be just as you hope post birth. But she may not and she will still need your friendship, just in a different way.

Hello everyone, I am very very tentatively stepping back on here after a roller coaster couple of weeks. After several blood tests showing slowly rising HCG and a couple of scans showing an empty sac too small for dates, the consultants were certain I had an a etopic pregnancy. Last Monday they offered me an injection to dissolve it or surgery to clear it, I was in no state to make that decision and was asked to go back for repeat bloods Weds. These were still rising but a different consultant reviewed my notes and decided to leave me until today as I had no symptoms and rescan to confirm. Well today they found a teeny little baby with a heartbeat! I am measuring at 6w3d (rather than 8w6d which is what my dates say I should be) but it's there and, for today, it's fine. I must have been literally a couple of days pg when I tested. I'm not out of the woods yet as I'm still bleeding and passing clots but they can see no reason for the bleed, it could possibly be the cyst they found on my ovaries discharging (it's smaller today) but they don't know. My boobs are still big but not hard or sore anymore and I so was convinced it was all over, this is a wonderful surprise and I could kiss the consultant who suggested waiting and seeing!

Beckle good to have you back! Golly what a complete roller-coaster you've been through, isn't it fate that you decided to wait before taking a course of action?

You do hear quite a few of these stories, makes me think sometimes doctors are too rash and always better to wait it out for a few days more...very happy for you. A heartbeat is an amazing sign!

How sure of your dates are you ie. did you POAS?

Great news beckle.

Beckle that is wonderful news!

Great news Beckle! Will you have more scans do you think?

Beckle that is fantastic news.

I am so glad we have been open about ours. I couldn't be bothered with the lying and sneaking around.

Grey a lot of dogs would be unhappy with a visiting older child pestering them but your own child is different and will be coming home not able to move around and pester him. By the time your baby is mobile, your dog will be used to him or her and won't be so worried. And you can put up baby gates to keep them apart whie the LO is crawling/teach your baby to leave the dog alone. It will be fine. There is a lot of advice out there about getting the dogs used to the idea - setting up prams and cots early to let them get used to them, chaning to routine to sometime more like what a baby would need (i.e. moving dogs off your bed in advance if that is what you want to do) and getting your OH to take dirtly baby clothes home form the hospital for the dogs to sniff. By the time baby gets there the dogs will be quite used to it. I am less worried about my dog with my baby, he hates my Mum though and she will bew barging around the house being difficult and I am stressed about the dog/baby/mother who knows best and won't listen/changes and noise all at once. I really love my dog, he is such a character, but I am quite relieved that he is old and going downhill as I think it may e kinder to him if he is not there by the time the baby comes. IF he is I may have to kennel him for the duration of Mum's visit which is another worry in itself. It is too early for me to worry about it now.

I am shattered. Said lovely dog got us up during the night having a massive trauma over the safekeeping of a pig's ear. Normally those got scoffed immediately. This one, however, was declared a Treasure and carefully buried in my bed for me to keep safe overnight. Unfortunately at some point during the night I rolled over and accidentally kicked it out. Benny did try eating it to keep it safe (crunch crunch crack crunch) but he found it was still to precious to him to eat. So then he wandered the house looking for a new safe place for it. I did offer to take it back in bed with me, but I was clearly not to be trusted as he dashed out the room, returned with his mouth empty and gave me a "I don't know what you are talking about" look. Then dashed back out the room to grab it again and wandered back in seconds later with it in his mouth. At that point I got up to go the loo. Apparently it would be perfectly acceptable for him to leave it next to me on the bathroom floor and I could sit up all night on the throne guarding it. Sadly that did not work for me as an option. I took it back through to the bedroom and tucked it under the corner of his bed in a place where he woulnd't get uncomfy lying on it. Unacceptable! He tried to dig it out and knocked it further under. I refused to get out of bad and fetch it out for him to pace up and down with again. So in the end he lay on the floor next to his bed with one paw stretched out onto the spot where the Treasure was. I fell asleep at that point. By this morning he was in his bed curled up on top of the Treasure and appeared to have decided that was a sensible place to keep it after all.

Beckle what a journey you have been on!!! Wow!!! I'm sure your head is all over the place. How amazing that they found your baby and heartbeat on the scan!! :) that's so good, I will pray that it all works out. Such a scary time. Nice to have you back though :)

Fluffy I am glad you feel up to talking about things and reaching out to people. Pregnancy is scary at the best of times and even harder if you have hormones all over the place and other problems to contend with. I would hope for you that you feel like there is support out there and that you can talk things through. Ideally I would love to think that the suport and talking heloed you to feel up to having this baby. Please do stay with us.

Fluffy I too am really pleased you're posting here. Pregnancy is a complicated time and mixed emotions are normal even in the most planned and wanted pregnancies. I think it's important for women to know that.

Also, I combine an active social life and parenting a 14 month old. You can if you want to. Before I got pregnant I was out about one evening a week plus social time in the afternoons with and without baby. She's asleep from 7pm so no reason to stay in if I do t want to. Have only had one weekend away but would have done more if stuff had come up. You will change but you don't have to lose yourself.

If this baby goes to term, we will be asking my sister how she feels about looking after a 2-month-old baby (she'll still be on mat leave after having her 2nd in November) whilst we go on holiday. We booked our flights the week before we found out we were pregnant and, whilst you can move them if you pay an admin fee, if you cancel, you still pay the full amount.

We can't go whilst I'm pregnant, as it's Vegas and everyone in the casinos smokes, so it's as though you're smoking yourself.