It's sneeze birth's galore thanks to our fanny stretchers! We're soaking in piss and praying for Bat's hospital bag. We're avoiding our mens 'Annie Sloaners' and eating all the cake! It's JS Gras 39!

[jellypi3]

Welcome, welcome, welcome to the 39th grads thread... celebrating the success of Just Shagging in getting us viroids upduffed!

For those that don't know, a 'viroid' is from the original JSing thread 1, where someone was trying to type ladies (in reference to all the JSing ladies), but their phone decided to call us all viroids instead!

The name stuck and we've been the JSing viroids ever since.

The 37th grads fred is HERE

The thread we have graduated from is HERE in its 53rd outing. WARNING: they're all a bit kerazy not to mention randy!

There is also a Just Mumming thread HERE for once your babies come along, or to keep up with the graduated graduates!

There is also a private facebook group (so it doesn't give the game away in your news feed!)... if you want to join to see photos of new babies etc, just ask in-thread!

HERE is the stats list, please update your own spot with any updates.

I know pud. I just don't see how there's space in there for a 10cm cookie cutter....

Me neither, not even in the fanjo part but in my entire pelvis, I'm only small!! Also, she was taking about the cervix dilating up to 10cm, fine. So I asked if the vaginas dilates also (because I couldn't picture how the anatomy works) and she said 'no, the vaginas stretches'. To 10cm! 'STRETCHES!'

(I know that I knew this already really, I think I had just blocked it out).

Weirdly, I can believe the stretchy fanjo thing. I mean, enough lubrication and you can fit a surprising amount up there... But the cervix - no way. Not happening. Can't even believe the sperms made it up there tbh... Clamped shut.

Stork for both of us then?

pud yes she went bonkers and DP was able to feel her move for the first time when I got back! He doesn't usually react much to things like that as he's on the autistic spectrum but he loved it!

niff Oh god, no she didn't. At least I'll be ready.

I can believe the stretchy fanjo thing because, y'know ... Fisting.

Snigger!

Filth. Utter filth on here tonight.

I told my nan about the epi-no and she told me to get one haha! So guess what I'm buying pay day!!

I'm worried about my vag stretching. Ive actually torn slightly with dp before AND we've used lube (and he's not exactly mahoosive). #scaredofsplittingfromvagtobum!

Ooh exciting that you're all getting an epi-no, I totally forgot to do mine yesterday so should have 2 goes today, just 1cm to go and it's getting pretty urgent now! Hurts loads less than I expected so I'm going to tell myself that it's just going to sting a little bit when baby comes out (denial, me?)

Just got up and spent a while replying to the 9 messages that I've had from friends this morning asking how I am, whether anything is happening etc. Remind me next time to give a fake due date! I don't actually mind because I realise I've done it to pregnant friends because I was wanting to appear supportive and let them know I was thinking of them when really they probably just wanted to stab me in the eye.

I think DH might be cheating. Lots of Facebook messages over the weekend and last night from work colleague. I couldn't see the content but could see her name/profile picture iyswim. He also acted weird and sort of absent all weekend. Checked his messenger app (I know, I know...) and all messages between them deleted. Asked if there was anything going on this morning, he was very angry and defensive. Asked if I could see the messages to put mind at rest, he flat out denied rather than say they were deleted. Something feels very very off and I don't know what to do. If not full on cheating then would guess at least emotional. Spiralling a bit, heart thumping, feel sick, can't eat, none of which is good for baby. Sorry, I'm a bit of a mess and have no idea where to go from here. Bloody hell I want a cigarette or twenty!

Oh molly is there any chance he could be getting help to arrange a surprise or a present for you and getting agitated because he doesn't know how to get out of it without giving the surprise away?

Oh no Molly

Might be some helpful advice on Relationships? If my DH dared do something like that I'd tell his mother and kick him out. Don't know if it would spell the end for sure, it would depend on lots of things. Has he got form for this kind of thing? Do try and eat, or at least have a cuppa.

As lovely as that sounds I don't think so. He's pretty good at sorting stuff like that under his own steam and if he did need help he'd ask DS's godmother. I won't see him now til about half nine this evening. What an awful lot of day to get through

Chat, once, very early in relationship he had a bit of a breakdown and a flirtation. We briefly split up and he ended up sleeping with her. Honestly thought it was a one off manifestation of a lot of mental health issues at the time. If I'd thought he'd ever repeat it I never would have stayed for six more years, married him, had babies etc, it was horrific when we split up and I knew he never wanted to repeat it. Now who knows?

Oh Molly great big hugs! It does sound weird but at the moment you don't have any solid proof to go on, just some suspicions, however well-founded they might be. Although it might be massively difficult maybe try not to leap to any conclusions immediately. I'd be the last to defend a cheating DH if that's the case, but there are times when gut instinct is useful and times when it's not, and maybe this is one of them. Was there anything before this - changes in behaviour etc?

Is there a good friend nearby who you can meet at some point today to talk things through with? Someone who knows you both? Can someone take DS for a couple of hours to give you some time for a walk and some deep breathing? Sounds like you've got some difficult conversations to work through whatever is going on, and having a bit of time to sort out your thoughts today might be helpful.

Sorry you're going through this.

molly do post in relationships. They are brilliant over there. I'll be honest he's showing all the classic signs. Follow your gut instinct. Can you do a bit more digging?

Oh molly I'm so sorry to hear that you have to worry about this and especially when pregnant. It is the same girl that he slept with when you broke up? It is quite reasonable for you to be suspicious of him so I think he should answer your questions. I feel sick for you, I hope it turns out to be nothing but can't imagine how you are feeling and know it will be a very long day until you can talk to him about it. Sending cake

I'm going to go against the grain here and say DO NOT post in Relationships. They are going to wind you right up and you're going to be bombarded with opinions and advice you don't need right now. What you do need is to get yourself fed and in a stable frame of mind. Do you have anyone you can talk to IRL so you can make a bit of a plan to deal with his shitty behavior? You need to be strong now for your DCs.

I just find the Relationships board to be populated with lots of sensible viroids and then a few goady fuckers who dial up the anger/indignation/rage against the perpetrator when it hasn't always been proven what's actually going on. This could be devastating for a relationship that clearly already has communication problems. I don't mean yours, Molly I just mean that people post on there when they have doubts and within a few pages you'll find everyone swinging axes. It's just not healthy. If a poster knew for sure then that's another story, they should let themselves get crazy angry... I'm hoping for the best for you Molly please try to stay calm and find a way to cope.

That sounds like really good advice sky.

molly - take care of your basic needs, eat, drink etc. Write down the 'evidence' you have so you can keep it in perspective/evaluate the situation and note what you want to talk to him, core questions etc. Then try to distract and comfort yourself as best you can for the rest of the day. When the thoughts come up tell yourself you don't need to ruminate on it, because you have written things down and made a plan to talk to him later. Unmumsnetty hugs x

I'm with sky on this one...they'll start talking about getting finances and legal documents in order etc!

I really hope it's nothing, but I know it is VERY hard to stay calm...last time my dh went all weird for months (thought he was going to break up with me) it turned out he was prepaing to propose!

men are weird.

Oh Molly, how awful to even have to think it might be a possibility. Agree that some advice on Relationships will be great but you'll get a lot of "LTB!!!!" too which might not be helpful. What you do need to do is get your thoughts in order (on paper mainly) then if you can, go and have a fab day doing something really fun with your DS.

Molly I'm so sorry you have this to worry about. Please try to eat, eat cake or crisps or whatever you feel like but you need something in your body.

:( oh molly what a horrible thing to go through. You poor thing. Ive no advice for you but thinking of you x

Molly I'm so sorry you are going through this. No advice but a virtual hug