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March 2016 Babies!! Our Grape-sized babies are getting Bigger!

999 replies

Paperblank · 10/08/2015 16:36

Thought I'd start our new thread as the old one is full up!

Grin
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dobbythedoggy · 26/08/2015 14:00

Q some people are so strange. So far this time we've completely ignored dh's uncle's birthday and due to me being very sick at the time and due to him not realising the date responded dh rather rudely to the invite issued the night before to his birthday bbq. Dsis got given a rather battered birthday card with no envelope and the promise of a present to follow almost a month ago. Dh's uncle doesn't know we're expecting yet and dsis has only just been told so we must have appeared incredably rude and lazy. Just about managed to get myself organised for my mum's birthday last week but even that was a struggle.

Fil and bil's birthday this week, hopefully the bits dh has ordered arrive in time. Or we will be moaned about in a smiliar fashion, as they do so much (not sure what to be honest) for us. Dh will probably get a scathing phone call too.

Dh is 30 this year, I'm 26, we've been married 7 years, together 8 years in December. I was suprrised how much pressure we were under from ils to start a family after we were married. We got asked lots of questions about if we were having problems conceving... Then when we did decide to try and I fell pregnant with dd they were unbearable. And when dd got to 6 months it started all over again. Pretty sure 2 is going to be it for us, so Mil is going to have a LONG wait for any more grandchildren assuming either bil finds a patner and decide they want them.

Dh told mil the end of last week and the woman would not stop asking about why we didn't tell her sooner when she visited. Very rude in my opponion to huff 'you should have told me' constantly. We were very honest saying I'd been very ill and had trips to hospital for spotting but she would not shut up! Dh also let slip due date which I'm not to impressed about as I'd hoped to keep in vage. I'd been hoping to keep it quite for longer but this weekend a very obvious bump has started to show. So glad she doesn't know about our mc as that would became her tragady too! For now she can just harp on about being excluded...for all of 12 weeks.

Really impressed with the clothes I got in the newlook sale, proper bargins for anyone who's on a budget. Should just get away with layering with some none maternity cardigans and cheep leng sleve primark topsm Also the cheep leggings I got from amazon are really nice, better quality than the expensive ones I brough last time.

Trying to thin down dd's toys this afternoon so the living room can look less like a bomb site. We're going to be over run when her birthday comes around in November. Our living room is massive but not entirely sure how we're going to fit a baby in it too when everyone wants to give her big things with millions of tiny parts eveytime we see them.

IndomitabIe · 26/08/2015 14:04

I've also seen new mothers fucked over when their partners (of 10+ years) leave them having been unmarried.

We did happen to get married before having DS. (How boring) But having seen how easily a partner can swan out with no legal obligation to continue to help pay for a more expensive house they'd bought, or to support the child, after the mother had switched to part-time work and was incapable of paying for it all herself, I'd get a registry office marriage as some kind of security and have a Wedding at a later date.

I have no problem with people being married or not, and it's nothing to do with religion. But it's easy for, particularly a man to walk away from responsibility if he decides he can't be arsed with it any more. It's not fair.

QforCucumber · 26/08/2015 14:20

dobby we hear that too, from said SIL - apparently 'all the things dp's DB does for us and we couldn't be bothered to send a card' I can't remember the last time we saw him and in 18 months of living in our own house he has visited once so I don't know what he's actually done for us to be honest.

Sil doesn't work so think she honestly has more time to just be more organised than us - and more time to get herself annoyed about pointless things which don't matter to anyone else.

Dp and I planned to get married next year, this pregnancy has kind of taken us by surprise though, fell in the 2nd month off the pill, so that has taken a back seat for another year or 2 just for financial reasons. I'd be happy to just do it on holiday and come home and tell people 'oh we got married'
We intentionally arranged our mortgage on a 50/50 agreement and as DP was self employed at the time didn't stretch too far, ensured I could afford repayments on only my wage so I think if it all went tits up everything should be manageable.

Me624 · 26/08/2015 14:28

Great scan news Poppins.

Trinpy · 26/08/2015 14:49

Hello everyone. I've been awol for a few days because I got fed up with having to keep resetting my password so went off in a strop Blush. I'm also on holiday this week so probably just as well I haven't been able to mn for a few days!

I've just been catching up on the thread - sorry to see so many of you have been on the receiving end of some very rude comments. congratulations to those of you who've had positive scans though - very exciting that some of us have have lime sized babies now!

Mine is still only date size but I heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time last night (yes I did take a doppler on holiday with me Blush). I'm so relieved because I'd been so worried that my lack of symptoms meant something was wrong. I'm really looking forward to my scan next week now.

QforCucumber · 26/08/2015 14:52

trinpy how exciting, I'd love to do that but know I'd get myself in a panic if I couldn't find the heartbeat.

Have a wonderful holiday!!!

marmitemofo · 26/08/2015 14:58

yeah I can see arguments about getting married to avoid getting screwed over - however both me and DP work full time and I earn quite a bit more than him! the mortgage is joint in both our names and if we split up I'd just sell the house and get somewhere smaller as I wouldn't want to live in it myself. we have a joint account but we also separately have savings accounts (which are for joint things, but in separate names), so I would be able to cover everything without DP's salary, at least for a while. we don't have any loans or debt other than the mortgage and we would always do joint custody.

probably sounds very innocent of me to say this but if me and DP did split up I actually just trust him not to be an arsehole. he's just not that type of bloke. maybe it's just because we've known each other since we were 19 - we've essentially becomes adults together (god that sounds really corny). he's also far too involved in our DD's life (has always split child care responsibilities and even took 3 months paternity leave when I went back to work) and I know he wouldn't do anything to jeopardize her. My main legal reasons for wanting to get married are less 'what if we split up' and more 'what if one of us passes away'. kind of grim to think about but actually the death of an unmarried partner is much more complicated than death of a husband.

As I said, I don't have any issues with marriage itself, I've been to lots of friends weddings and they are often a lot of fun and when at a couple of weddings I have thought it would be nice to get all our friends and family together to celebrate but then when I actually think about it I realise I wouldn't enjoy my own that much, I think. DP is very shy and absolutely hates being the centre of attention so for him the thought of a wedding is horrific. In fact we've always said if we did have a wedding, I'd do a brides speech instead of him doing a grooms one! (I'm not ashamed to admit I'm a bit of a feminist and traditional weddings I find are always about the bride looking pretty but not saying much.) I have a complicated family with feuds aplenty and couldn't deal with family making it all about them. We also have a massive family and core friendship group and we once did an absolute minimum list of people who we would invite to a wedding and it was about 80! which for me is just too large and expensive. but I don't want to bash on the wedding thing, I think it's lovely if you know you'll enjoy it, and as I said have been to some lovely friends weddings, just not for me Smile.

marmitemofo · 26/08/2015 15:00

(apologies as just realised last post was a bit of an essay/rant!)

congrats on your successful scan poppins. and christ your MIL sounds a bit rude and entitled dobby Shock. it's completely your choice whether to tell people and when!

IndomitabIe · 26/08/2015 15:36

I absolutely support you in whatever you choose, Marmite!

In the example I gave, the woman had made herself so reliant on him and was therefore so vulnerable. We didn't think he would be such a dick either, though I think by that point she did. You sound a lot less naïve!

And I agree with your perspective on weddings! We had no first dance, DH didn't do a speech. The ceremony was the quickest it could be and we just had a massive party! Lush!

MyNameIsSuz · 26/08/2015 15:47

Wow, this thread has been busy! Scan all good, I even got to hear the heartbeat which I haven't had before. I'm still worrying about something showing up in the nuchal tests but am happy I can tell people! Dh insists on putting it on Facebook which I hate, I've asked that he at least lets me text people first.

Speaking of Facebook, who do I need to PM to get on the secret group?

Celen · 26/08/2015 15:54

Great news Suz and Poppins! Time is going too slowly for mine...

marmitemofo · 26/08/2015 15:56

congrats suz Grin I pm'd herewegoagain to get added to the fb group...

I haven't put anything on FB yet regarding the scan as wanted to email family the scan pic first, but I will be doing an announcement Blush mostly as me and DP don't live in the same town as any of our good friends, and we see them quite infrequently (particularly as basically none of them have kids yet)

maybebabybee · 26/08/2015 16:02

congrats on all successful scans, love seeing the pics!

I'll also be doing a FB announcement after we've told all family....won't be telling OH's family til next Friday though.

I so don't want to be at work at the moment, wish I was just lying on the sofa all day!!! Kudos to you ladies who are doing this with a child(ren) to look after already, I bow down to you!

I think I'll have a gap of at least 4 years between this one and the next one so I can have one at school while I'm pregnant again and with a small baby....

sherazade · 26/08/2015 16:03

Hi all had my scan today which was verrry exciting , measuring slightly more ahead than 11+4 and now at 12+1 which is a nice feeling . New due date - 8 March do I have a due date buddy ??? Didn't get a clear enough pic to share but feeling quite elated !!

sherazade · 26/08/2015 16:06

After my scan I popped into work t sort my classroom out before September and two of the admin staff both asked me if I was pregnant as I now have a bump!!!

Me624 · 26/08/2015 16:26

Congrats Suz lovely pic and you too sherazade.

I can't decide whether to do a Facebook announcement or not. If I do it won't be for a couple of weeks until I've told people at work as I don't want it getting back to anyone there via fb. I always thought they were a bit cringey before but now it's my turn I do kind of want to do one ...

IndomitabIe · 26/08/2015 16:27

Fab news Sherazade and Suz!

Celen · 26/08/2015 17:05

maybebabydee now I'm pregnant with a toddler, I feel being pregnant at work (when I was before DS) was definitely the easier option - but aside from the exhaustion, sore boobies & nausea, my pregnancy is far easier compared to others

marmitemofo · 26/08/2015 17:12

congrats sherazade Grin I told a colleague at work I'm pregnant today and she said she'd suspected as I definitely look pregnant but didn't want to ask just in case!

I agree work when pregnant is easier than toddler when pregnant. work has been difficult and I've been coasting and getting behind on work but tbh if I'm feeling crappy its possible to space out at my desk. at home with DD I literally can't cope, even when DP is there. and when he isn't, its a real struggle. she has so much energy and wants to be picked up all the time and all I want to do is sit there as a fat blob feeling sorry for myself. I feel so guilty as I'm being a real shit mum at the moment but it'll pass!

Celen · 26/08/2015 17:18

Same marmitemofo - way too much screen time here for my DS and feel like I'm abandoning him a little but he's also chosen now to drop his nap Confused It's bloody hard work!

MyNameIsSuz · 26/08/2015 17:20

I agree, when you have a toddler work is definitely the easy option. I feel like I'm ignoring my boy a bit too, but he has a whale of a time at the childminders and it'll be good practice for when the baby comes and i can't give him my undivided attention!

A couple of people have guessed with me too, my boss and a couple of friends, I guess i must look bigger than i thought! Out with the maternity jeans!

IndomitabIe · 26/08/2015 17:22

You guys with littlies already, makes me glad we waited till DS was 4! (And the school hols when DH is off!). I definitely couldn't have coped with a smaller child and pregnancy. (I'm not very good at being pregnant!)

sherazade · 26/08/2015 18:29

My first two were 19 months apart. The first 2 years were very hard but after that the way they keep each other entertained all day everyday and how they have the same interests ( v diff personalities though) has been absolutely worth it and has paid off.Smile

maybebabybee · 26/08/2015 18:31

Sherazade there are four years between each of my siblings and we've always played together :)

sherazade · 26/08/2015 18:50

I have to admit I'm slightly worried that the new baby will have 9 and 11 year old sisters ... Just thinking when he or she is 10 they'll be 19 and 21!!