December 2015 #3 - riding out the first trimester!!

[ChandlersFarang]

Noticed we were getting a bit full in the last thread! Roll up, roll up for more scanning, puking, worrying and other distractions to take us through the first trimester!

Thanks Sweets and Flor

The issue last time was genetic, apparently at the moment of conception something just didn't go as planned. Her condition had a 1:50'000 chance of happening and we were the that 1. Thankfully it isn't likely to happen again, my husband and I both had genetic testing carried out last year and we both came back clear, those results only came back in February this year, then we started trying and bang we fell pregnant quite quickly. We have been told my dd's condition was a one-off though it really is very difficult to take comfort in that when the chance of it happening to us in the first place was so incredibly slim but it still happened. We are planning on telling family next week after the scan provided everything goes well. We are just reluctant to share the news in case anything is wrong again because we don't want our families to suffer any heart ache like the last time.

Flor I have ordered some flowers for her grave so we will go and put those out. I have asked for something really bright and lively, I don't want sadness associated with my dd, for the time she was in my belly she brought such light and happiness into our lives and I want to remember her that way. I didn't go to Sands, only because I didn't feel like I could relate to the other parents' stories. With my dd we knew she wasn't going to survive so really we did a lot of our grieving in the weeks following the 20 week scan. We had 15 weeks to accept that she wasn't going to be leaving the hospital with us so by the time the birth came round it wasn't a shock. Sands are a fantastic organisation though and we did get a lovely memory box that was provided by them. It just didn't feel right going to the meetings, I just didn't feel like I would fit in.

Thanks ladies for being so supportive, I really do appreciate it. Being able to vent and sound off and be honest is very helpful!

babyfaced, I can understand it's very hard to feel confident this time given what happened with your DD. Statistics don't mean much when that tiny 1:50,000 chance didn't stop you from suffering. It must give you some small comfort, though, that your chances are no higher than anyone else's.

I can understand not wanting the family to suffer any more heartache, but don't forget to think of yourself too! Do make sure you're getting all of the support you need.

Good to hear some of you are starting to feel better and those 12 week appointments are getting nearer. I'm 11+5 today and had a flurry of appointments this week. this is baby no.5 for me and I'm due on the 6th Dec I had my booking appointment last Friday. I've been referred to the consultant due to the number of previous births but the midwife said just to tell him I want a home birth and explain my concerns about not making it to the hospital due to the speed of my previous deliveries and he should refer me back to them. I've also got a referral to the physio as I was on crutches due to pain in my hip during my last pregnancy which I'm pleased about as it's starting to twinge already. and my 12 week scan is on Fri 29th which is great timing as my other dc's are going on holiday with grandparents for the week, so I will be able to break the news to them when they drop them home. I'm not sure what the reaction will be as we had no plans for more.

To all of those who were asking about Christmas plans. I have a dd with a December birthday (she was due boxing day came 2 weeks early in the end) and I did all my shopping online with my feet up, had everything delivered to the door and made sure all my wrapping etc was done before the end of Nov. I also went shopping for feeding bras at the end of November to avoid the Christmas rush and bought a couple of cup sizes bigger and that worked out great. I also waited to buy as much as possible until the January sales and got some great online bargains.

babyfaced these 1st 12 weeks are so tough when you've had a previous loss. Take care of yourself and surround yourself with good support.I'll be thinking of you when you have your scan, hope it's good news and then you can really start to enjoy this pregnancy.

scaryfuture, that's really good advice from someone who's had a December baby before - I'd never have thought about getting the Christmas presents out of the wy and so on! So do your boobs grow that much in the last few weeks of pregnancy, so that even if you're buying nursing bras a month earlier than DC is born, you still have to buy 2 sizes bigger? Scary thought!

All, I've just looked at the stats page again and done some updates. I've got a few people missing like hummingbird and firsttimer whose EDD's I don't yet have - let me know the details when you have a moment.

I've sorted the stats list by 12 week scan date for now, instead of EDD, as that's what so many of us are leading up to. Looks like we're getting busy, and hellsbells and oceanlady have theirs today - good luck, let us know how it goes!

Thanks scary, don't think I'll be able to start enjoying this pregnancy unti after the 20 week scan so just hope time passes quickly until then!

Thank you Sweets for your kind words too.

Hope the 12 week scans are going well! I wonder will we have any twins in the group?! Only one jelly bean in my belly, my husband was disappointed!

Babyfaced Will be thinking of you and really hope it all works out ok. It's understandable to be filled with nerves but just keep reminding yourself the odds are slim, I hope it all works out
Had a bit of a grumpy evening yesterday. Found out my DH's 19 year old sister is pregnant. Is it completely selfish to feel like she is raining on our parade a bit? I was enjoying the fuss being about our baby, we have been married 5 years, and planning for ages so it just feels like such dreadful timing. Unfortunately she's not had a great response from her partner or DH's mum, so I know really I should be thinking about how hard this will be for her, but I just feel like it takes the shine off of our baby as everyone will be worrying about her. God I sound awful I know

Oh Waiting I would feel like that too to be honest. You don't sound awful one bit, this is a safe place for us to be honest so you can get all out here! How far along is she?

Thanks Babyfaced I know it's not the best response to have but I felt angry. She is 5 weeks, so 5 weeks behind me which I guess is a small bonus. She still lives with DH's mum, works 10 hours a week and has no idea what she wants to do with her life. Her and her DP have no money, no car, nothing. DH's mum had him very young (he is 11 years older than his sister) and is furious as she feels his sister is ruining her life. It all seems to be very dramatic. I am fairly sure she planned it though I don't think she would admit to it, but she had no idea we were expecting at the time. I have been walking around with a rosy glow but this just made me burst into tears. It's daft I know to be upset.

waiting I am pretty sure I would react in the exact same manner. You're allowed to feel that. And as BabyFaced says, this is a safe place to share those thoughts and feelings.

Hi babyfaced. If i hear 'PMA' from my DH one more time, he's not going to be very dear for very much longer! Constantly looking on the bright side is - to me - just unrealistic and setting yourself up for disappointment. At least if you are steeled for bad news, the good news that has to come through some day will feel genuinely fantastic. So go ahead and worry all you like but keep that thin sliver of hope so that you stay sane and then when the good news comes through, you can laugh and cry all at the same time!

Waiting we found out, about the same time that we started fertility investigations that my bridesmaid (cousin, 21, no partner, no prospects, no clue) was heavily pregnant at our wedding and had a little girl one Friday night 2 months later without telling anyone! how she got into that dress I'll never know I crawled into my bed for a week!

I'm selectively telling people that I know will be thrilled at the minute. I'm dreading telling some people who will be full of the 'I know's' and 'isn't this fun, we're all pregnant together' when the last thing I want is to have them connected to my lovely baby in any way shape or form. I can't even blame hormones as I disliked them before anyway but when they marry your friends you can't get shot of them! You want your baby to be special so your feelings are totally normal and not at all unreasonable. I'm sure he/she will always be special to you regardless and now will have a cousin close in age which will be nice in the long run if really irritating at the minute.

So far it would seem I am one of the lucky ones when it comes to fertility, but I have wanted a baby for so long that I spent the last year having the same emotion of jealousy and anger every time someone announced their news over the last 12 months. "What! But they've only been married/together X amount of time!" (as if nature takes any notice of that...)

Hello ladies.

haribo I know exactly what you mean. I am excited, by so nervous, scan is on weds and then Once I know everything is ok I think I will relax a bit and tell my mum and dad and anyone I bump into!

babyface I can't imagine how hard this time must be for you. Hopefully everything will be fine on the scan.

waiting I feel I would react the same way. I feel jealous/annoyed that there are already 8 pregnant ladies at work (most around 22 weeks) so by the time I'm due babies will be boring.

Lovely but busy day at work today, but now it's half term so can relax well in school for revision a couple of days one of my year 11's gave me a huge bar of choc today as a thank you, which nearly had me in tears.

My friend that I met up with on sun, text me earlier to say her daughter has come out with scarlet fever, so slightly concerned I may have been exposed, through my friend in the incubation period :( but fx I'm not (and her little girl gets better soon.

Apologies for the appalling grammar.

Yay date for the diary! 12 week scan June 9th! I'll be 12+2. Is everyone having the Down's screening?

I hope everything is ok for you babyfaced The chances of an anomaly like your poor dd is remote and you were just extremely unlucky.Someone unfortunately has to be that "1" in the stats. You've had your bad luck now, that's it, you're done with bad luck x x x

Thanks everyone, I feel a lot less selfish knowing others would feel the same. I'm sure once the shock has worn off i'll get used to it and won't feel so grumpy about it all. My baby will be my parents first grandchild, so really I know i'm lucky not to be sharing with lots of siblings children.
I feel the opposite about uni. The only person in my year to be having (or already have) a child and I think the second in my medical school despite it being a 5 year programme. I think that attention I could do without!

Thank you so much everyone for your kind words

chops the downs screening isn't routinely offered here in Northern Ireland though my consultant is going to do all manner of tests to give us as much info as possible. Glad you got your date through!

shiny hopefully you won't have caught anything!

Chops We're doing the harmony test next week on Thursday.

Huh I am feeling quite cry-y today. I read something on buzzfeed and got so emotional. Now taking the tube is sending me over the edge. I still don't have a badge because I can't seem to ever receive the fecking thing when I order it.

humming I know where you're coming from with not getting excited yet. Dp is the main one for me. He just refuses to accept that something could go wrong and makes me feel like I'm being stupid. My friend also is getting very excited but when I explain to her that I refuse to get excited until I see him/ her on the scan. She also makes me feel like I'm being ridiculous. I agree now that at 11+3 it is unlikely that anything bad is going to happen but I keep thinking I'm going to get to the scan and there will be no baby. Tbf I was exactly the same with ds. My panicking hasn't been helped by finding out my cousin had a miscarriage a couple of weeks ago and she was further along than me. My mum said she didn't want to tell me incase it worried me but as I said to her you just can't be sure of what's going to happen in the first trimester. I feel so horrible for my cousin though. I'm going to feel so guilty when I announce that I'm pregnant. Her pregnancy wasn't planned but I know she was happy about it and me throwing my pregnancy in there I'm worried is going to really upset her .

On a lighter note I've started to feel a lot less tired today. The nausea is still there whenever I eat but it helps not feeling exhausted.

baby thinking of you

Thanks babyface

chops we are having the nt screening at our 12 week scan. I will also be having all my bloods done as the midwife couldn't get any when she tried.

Has anyone else been told that they'll need the gestational diabetes test at 26 weeks? My dad is type one diabetic so I'm a higher risk.

I'll be having the gtt shiny, I had it the last time though came back clear. Though as I'm a bit overweight I have to do it (though I am lighter than I was with my last pregnancy )

flor my emotions are getting the better of me too, I've just been catching up on my TV programmes while DH is out and am after crying, well actually sobbing () my way through the most recent episode of the kardashians where Bruce explains that he will be transitioning into a women. Oh it made me feel all the feels! Some mint chocolate chip ice cream did cheer me up though... hope the tube journey was uneventful!

Me too shiny, as mum has diabetes too. I don't think it's anything to worry about x

Great news here! And I honestly wasn't prepared for how i felt when i saw baby jumping around in there. It was mind-blowing. For days i had been seriously thinking i had made the whole thing up, and there would be nothing in there, right up until the moment she put the jelly on my belly!
Official due date 3rd Dec.
Right, I've been looking at examples of 'nub' photos as I'm desperate to know the flavour - can anyone see anything? (I have 5 other photos if not!)

babyfaced will be thinking of you in the next few days.

chops did i see that you're in Bristol too?

BabyFaced That's made me smile and feel loads better :) I was reading a good deed feed on Bzf and the one story of the whole town who rallied to celebrate the autistic little boy's birthday had me choking up at my desk. (and I don't even like children THAT much -I just want my own ones) I'm becoming real soppy.

hellsbells Congrats! Amazing how baby-like they look already at this stage. Not like a bean anymore at all!

I refuse to be educated in spotting nubs etc. I really really don't want to know the baby's sex.

I did however have a vivid dream of the baby being a girl last week and she was extremely beautiful and could speak even though she was only a few days old.

Lovely scan hellsbells! You're really pregnant!

babyfaced you have been through a tough time and it's natural to be worried. Hopefully you will feel more reassured as you go along x

Tuesday can't come fast enough for me. I need to know if it's all ok!

I rang the GP and my urine and bloods all came back fine. Anyone know if they do a HCG test from the samples at your booking in? I want to know if I was still pg yesterday!