The September crew fly through to the second trimester, baby bumps galore! :) (Thread 7)

[Treaclepie19]

Stats sheet here

One of my immediate family was a bit weird to begin with, i just asked outright "arent you pleased then?" - she was, but was concerned how DS would cope! Wtf?! What made it more nonsensical is that she has 2 kids - so it was ok for her eldest to have a sibling but not mine?! Bollocks and i told her. She was fine after that...... plus DS seems to be getting happier with idea of baby bro/sis and i know he'll be fab :)

My kids are 12 and 13 and worrying about the new baby. Doesn't help that we are trying to sell house, dp has to transfer to job near me ( and learn to drive) and move in full time. No wonder they are anxious. The younger one in particular is concerned I'll forget about him. And has regular meltdowns with much reassurance needed. I Sometimes feel so guilty as they have already been through a messy divorce and living with an emotionally abusive father.

That's sounds really difficult miss. If I was you I'd probably try to clear the air before I visited and I'd also be tempted to email as I think it'd be less confrontational and would give your sister chance to really think about how she wants to reply and also hopefully be more honest too. Though everyone is different and some respond to email better than others. Guess you have to be careful how things are worded too. I do think you're right to consider bringing up the subject with her now though.

miss I'm sad for you and definitely think you need to raise the subject, especially as your close. Perhaps you can point that out as the reason it matters to you that things are odd; that you miss her. Difficult to advise on specifics without knowing you both, some people are better face to face as they can't get out of the subject, others find it easier to be able to consider and respond. I think Shinjuku makes a v valid point about being able to word things carefully in an email. You can make sure the tone is right, it's not too wordy etc especially if you want to avoid the 'all about me' perception as you mentioned. Also you can right it and then go over it later with fresh eyes and get a diplomatic impartial friend to read it first.

Thanks all. It's a difficult time for her as she's just split with her long term partner, so I'm mindful of that and not coming across doing a 'lalala we're happy families and you're not' atm rub it in your face kind of thing. As a result, I made sure I told each member of my family separately with no major announcements, and emailed and then phone each of my sisters ( I have two.)

My eldest sister couldn't have been happier with the news, and is v excited to become an aunt. I also subsequently found out from talking to her about it that she's been trying for kids over the years but with no success, which made me feel crap as I didn't know. But it really means a lot to me that she can park that and celebrate with us.

The other sister (the one I'm meant to be staying with) responded with a monotone "oh" ... "I suppose congratulations are in order then" and that was it. Because she has a lot going on, I figured it might take a week or so for it to sink in, but since then nothing. I find it particularly hurtful as we were ttc for 18 months and it was really hard going. I find it odd that even if it's not something that you would choose for yourself, that you can't celebrate in others happiness. She's even said to my other sister she doesn't know what she'd do with me when I visit now I can't drink -wtf?? (especially as we don't go sinking 10 pints when I visit usually)

I've ended up emailing her, as per previous posters advice as it's easier to say what I want whilst keeping it light, not all about me and I really want to sort it out before I arrive. I basically said I got the impression that things had turned a bit odd since she heard my news, both about the pregnancy and my trip and I appreciated she's had a shit load of stuff going on, but I was excited given our issues ttc, but that didn't mean I'd bombard her with poo stories, baby minutiae etc. Said that I wanted to visit to catch up and just kick around as it''ll be the last time for a while, and that being pregnant wouldn't affect that, but I knew it's been a stressful few weeks for her, so I wanted to check if she was still ok with my visit.

We're not the sort of family that normally has these types of discussions (must be the inner yank in me rubbing off ) so it'll be interesting to what, if anything, comes of it.

miss Well done and good luck. Maybe let us know how it goes if you feel comfortable, but no pressure obviously.

Good luck miss. Sounds like you've made a positive move, hope it clears the air.

We still need to tell my dad as wanted to do it in person. I imagine that may be hard going as his (younger) fiance who was the OW will probably throw a bit of a tantrum when she realises she'll be marrying a grandad next year. Hey Ho!

Miss, consider telling her you're really looking forward to incorporating her role as Auntie into your family too - I was in a similar position, I'd just split with XH when my closest sister announced her first pregnancy. It made us so much closer! Although we never talked openly about it I saw the effort she put in to make me more a part of her family than I ever was before. I even spent her baby's first Christmas with them which was lovely as it would have been my first Christmas alone

It's carried on now that I have my DP and we're closer than ever.

Just to add, I was seriously grumpy when she first told me. I tried not to let her see it but I'm sure she must have done! It just really highlighted to me that I had lost everything I thought I was working towards with XH. Even though that was actually a good thing, it was hard to see how just 5 years later is be where I am now, where I seriously have everything I could ever possibly want! Sorry that's awfully mushy for this time in the morning

Families can be so hard sometimes! Miss I think you've done the right thing - sometimes it's hard to see that at the time.

So we loved the house on second viewing and are putting in an offer today! Also got sex scan this evening - can't wait and even if we can't find out what it is due to positioning I'm just excited to see baby again.

Just hopping back on :)

Just popping in to wish you luck at your scan today maths! Ours is tomorrow and I'm just far too excited :)

Thanks Spam! Good luck with yours tomorrow!

Good luck maths :)
And spam for tomorrow! :)

I've booked a private gender scan for the 13th April as I can't last until the 11th May for my nhs scan.
Need some reassurance baby is ok!

My nhs scan is 11th May too! when I'll be 22 weeks, I couldn't wait either so our gender scan is on 18th

haven't even booked my 20 week yet but really want the early scans, it works out £35 cheaper to find out at 17 weeks rather than 16 in my area.

I had to book my 20wk scan whilst i was at 12wk scan, they're so busy you end up with really late/delayed appt otherwise! So busy at Shrewsbury

Ohhhh yay choccy! :)
Scan twins. I'll be 21+2 for my nhs scan on the 11th May. Too long to wait :p
I'm so excited :)

Monkeymoonpig - same here, except I'm in North west Essex. I had to book directly after the 12 week scan and even then they could only offer me the choice of a couple of appointments (I was grateful for the choice though, as one of the weeks is a definite no go due to work).

My 20 week is on 6th may, I'm so glad I have a private scan booked for next Saturday, the reassurance is wearing off, can't wait til I can feel movement!

Really hope your email does the trick miss.

I'm really worried as I don't feel pregnant. I know it's silly & this time last week I heard the heartbeat but it reassured me for a day! I'm thonking of booking a private gender scan as when I'm 18 weeks it's only £39 (I have quit smoking so that's what I'm telling myself anyway) but know DP won't be happy. I might just tell him how I feel properly & hopefully he will agree as I wouldn't go without him! It would mean I could get a scan around 9th April then my proper 20 week is 28th April. Is It worth It???

An update in my Jeremy Kyle esque family saga got a text from my sister saying everything was fine with us; she said she'd have emailed properly this morning but the internet at work is down due to power outages (so random, it must be true..) we've been texting on and off, so i hope this is us turning the corner, from the recent weirdness. Thanks for all your help and support!

In other news, just got back from seeing my high risk consultant for the first time about my genetic blood clotting issue. Good news all round in that he sees little or no risk to the pregnancy as it stands, based on my current health and background, which is a massive relief. Still panicking slightly tho as the disorder means I can have trouble metabolising folic acid properly, which is obviously linked to higher risk of birth defects. So now the waiting game continues for the 20 week scan on 4th May - seems like an age away!

Those with scans today and tomorrow hope all goes well ambient I'd be tempted to go but then I have no patience! does your DP think you should wait until the 28th?

ambient that's why we've booked. I don't feel pregnant so I'm losing any reassurance I had.
If you think it will help, book it :)