squatting its a rare mum who doesn't sometimes want to pull their hair out with their child/shout at them/cry at them/tell them exactly how they feel in some hormonal angry tearful outburst. Children are bloody hard work.
It is also a rare thing to find a mum-to-be that hasn't, even if only fleetingly, wished their DC would arrive early/get out/not be pregnant at all!!! And it is (sorry all ftms!) MUCH harder the second time. I've wished him out so many times then felt bad.
I've also at various points wished I could have some days and nights to myself without a toddler, then felt bad because I love her beyond the ends of the earth.
They are all just intrusive thoughts. Normal. The impulse to dwell on them or worry that they mean you are a bad mum is the difficult bit. A history of MH problems/PND makes people much mode likely to over think it and it is very, very hard to get over that (I've seen people trying).
I know that whatever we say we probably can't alter how you feel. But read back your post - your concerns are for your dcs. That = good mum, not bad mum.
I agree, speak with your mw. PND can start before arrival of the baby and needs a close eye, and a helping hand.
And please vent on here and we will listen.
Loads of hugs for you. Everything you are wordying about is normal. The hard bit is pushing away thosw thoughts and getting on with something else, and making sure you have the support you need. I imagine your dp is just worried too.
